Respect for the Dead? Graves vs No Graves

[Zandyne]

This may be considered a very personal topic for some. For those who participate, think out your responses clearly before posting, especially if this is a meaningful topic for you.

All over the world we, the living, set aside vast areas of land so that we can put down a spot for the deceased. In some cases, hundreds of years later, we can still see the names and dates of the departed whose loved ones may no longer be visiting their graves.

Should we remove these graves or leave them? Should we continue to rip out pits of soil so that we can put in grand caskets complimented by a stone with an engraved epitaph that marks these areas? Should cremation become a requisite if we continue to run out of space for paying our respects to the dead? Should we sacrifice the rituals we conduct to pay our repects or shall we be a little more conservative?

We don't live forever, and the Earth is not unlimited in space. What should we do and why? Please share your thoughts on this matter.

[Catch the Rain]

Whilst I agree there is a lot of land being used for Cemeteries and that the Earth has not got limited space, I think it should be left to personal choice. I don'tt hink it would be right to make cremation a pre-requisite, burials etc are a way for those left behind to create the final footprint their loved one will make, if they choose burial so be it, if they choose other then again so be it. I am a realist and I realise there is limited space but then I would hate to bury a loved one, give them their final resting place knowing that in a few years they would be removed to make way for another. There needs to be more efficient management instead of resorting to ripping out graves (this already happens in some places).


Lol thats my 2 cents I guess :) quite tricky to answer actaully

[Cin]

Well, the entire population of the planet could fit in Texas. The current population anyway. That leaves space for...a lot of dead people. Humans don't take up that much room, either does graveyards. And the people that have been there for hundreds of years, we should leave them there.

I personally am very emotional when it comes to memories. Whenever I am about to leave a place forever, as in, I'm very certain I will never return, always, I mean always, write "Travis was here", on something that will not bedestroyed or removed. I want to be remembered, and I don't even want people to remember me as a person. I want be to see "Travis was here", and wonder who I was, where I came from, if I'm still alive. That wondering comforts me, kinda makes me feel like I left a mark on the world. If I were to die, I would want a grave,a dn one that would last hundreds of years. It would make me feel important, like i made a difference. Wether that difference be the fleeting thoughts of a child from hundreds of generations after I'm gone, or wether it be a friend of mine that outlived me. I go to the cemetaries outside the city very often with my friends, just to look at the graves and see the people. See the names, and it makes me feel good, like I'm paying respect, like even though I know there's no heaven, I making that perosn who died so long ago, suddenly awake from something and go "Someone's remembering me...even though I died so very long ago."

As it is, humans don't have respect for anything until it's gone. Just like people have no respect for others until they're dead. If we take away gravestones, we take away that person. We erase them from history, we respected them for a short period of time after death, and them we no longer have respect for them. I would hate that...

[Catch the Rain]

I do the write my name thing too! I never want to be forgotten, so I completely know where you are coming from, hmmm I never thought of graves like that though, thats interesting actually, and a nice thought.

[Zandyne]

Just a note: Cremation can actually be your ashes placed in an urn with all of the appropriate memoriam written on the surface.

I suppose what bothers me most about a cemetary is that some people insist on having grandiose crypts all to one person (there are about ten in the cemetary near my home, where were the crypt to be converted into living space it would be enough room to be a presidential hotel suite).

For some reason I think having your name and last words written somewhere vs having a casket with your body along with it seems rather excessive for memory's sake.

[Anniexo]

I think they should keep them, sicne some people like myself like going up to random graves and reading who's there, even if I don't know them, I do that mainly out of respect from the dead

[Ratchet]

I think there should be a choice. My parents were both cremated and theirs ashes scattered, but we had a memorial plaque for them. It is small and tasteful, but it is a lasting reminder that we love them.

There is room and some beliefs only allow burial as far as I know so this should also be catered for. I don't agree with massive crypts. Space should be thought about.

Here there are a lot of graves from the 1800's. They are damaged and no-one bothers with them. These are sometimes moved to the sides and the land used as open public grass. It looks sad though.

[8730]

i think that there should be marked graves definitely, as a lasting physical memory of the person, i remember being taken to graveyards every so often to tend the grave of my grandmother or my fathers god mother and i would sometimes wander and read some of the other graves, sometimes i even cried especially when reading the ages......
with size i think that the normal rectangle shape is enough, building a large crypt is just pretentious, a simple inscription on a tombstone is enough to convey the relatives love for the dead.
cremation shouldnt be compulsory, ever. it comes down to the personal decision of the family or the deceaseds wishes. something like that should never be forced.

[kagome111]

graves i think it's respect ful to put the im graves or turn them to ashs:) :) :) :) :) :p :p :p :p

[EvilMan_89]

i really don't know this one. i can see both sides. u do want to respect the dead but there are better uses for that land as well like farming. not only that, we could use the bodies as fertilizers but no one would prolly do that. but then again, after about 50 years of dying, i doubt anyone will ever remember u again becuz everyone u knew would likely have died themselves or moved on. it's sad, that no one will remember us after a while

[Cin]

Then again, i you wait long enough guys, there's no grave to dig up, thebody has disolved and the gravestone will have broken or something. It only takes a few hundred years...=D

[Darkwatch]

I personally am very emotional when it comes to memories. Whenever I am about to leave a place forever, as in, I'm very certain I will never return, always, I mean always, write "Travis was here", on something that will not bedestroyed or removed. I want to be remembered, and I don't even want people to remember me as a person. I want be to see "Travis was here", and wonder who I was, where I came from, if I'm still alive. That wondering comforts me, kinda makes me feel like I left a mark on the world. If I were to die, I would want a grave,a dn one that would last hundreds of years. It would make me feel important, like i made a difference. Wether that difference be the fleeting thoughts of a child from hundreds of generations after I'm gone, or wether it be a friend of mine that outlived me. I go to the cemetaries outside the city very often with my friends, just to look at the graves and see the people. See the names, and it makes me feel good, like I'm paying respect, like even though I know there's no heaven, I making that perosn who died so long ago, suddenly awake from something and go "Someone's remembering me...even though I died so very long ago."I agree 100% with the above paragraph.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[EvilMan_89]

Then again, i you wait long enough guys, there's no grave to dig up, thebody has disolved and the gravestone will have broken or something. It only takes a few hundred years...=D
well.....i can see both sides here but i'm PRETTY sure that at least 10 bodies will be buried before we wait those hundreds of years for that one body to decompose

[Cin]

I know Evilman...I was being sarcastic...XD

[EvilMan_89]

I know Evilman...I was being sarcastic...XD
oh, lol. ok, i didn't see it at all. lol when i'm sarcastic, i do this

choclate milk is the WORST drink in the world .

god, i wish there were sarcasm tags, lol.

[White_Rook]

It's weird, but there are some cultures that don't incorporate the burying of the dead into their culture. In some tribes the bones are used for tools and other things so that the deceased continues to "contribute" to the tribe in the afterlife. A certain hindo sect in India happens to drink from the skulls of the dead, believing that they can gain their strength and intelligence. I think it's interesting how various cultures respect the dead. If it's custom, let it be.

[EvilMan_89]

well....i see why they would do that and i see how it can be a good thing. but most ppl would prolly think it's disrespectful

[White_Rook]

well....i see why they would do that and i see how it can be a good thing. but most ppl would prolly think it's disrespectful

Well the point is that respect, like all frivolous perceptions of humanity, is relative. Like I said, if it's a cultural custom, or just a custom in general it should be allowed to be done. Of course there are many ethical exceptions, but it all depends.

[8730]

personally i dont see what the harm would be in letting people, people should always have the right to do these things if they want to, you cant just say "everyone has to be cremated" (sp?) sigh its the same with a lot of things (that all get talked about here......)

[PAW]

This is only my view, I am sorry if I have offended anybody.

I do not think there is a point in keeping loved ones buried for many reasons. First, the people who loved that person should make a plaque dedicated to their loved one and kept in their garden or house instead of showing it to the world this way they know that the memory of their loved on ewill be taken care of. Second, though humans take up only a small part of the world the areas of the graveyards only increase and never decrease. Another reason is, the body of the loved one will only rot and memories of a loved ones alive are better than ones dead. Finally, paying respect to the dead is no use only respecting the memory is honourable.
When I die I know that their will be people who know me and miss me but I would rather they remember by the good times rather than my death it would bring me joy if that would happen because then i know I have always lived a good life.

[Ratchet]

First, the people who loved that person should make a plaque dedicated to their loved one and kept in their garden or house instead of showing it to the world this way they know that the memory of their loved on will be taken care of.

I don't think I'd want the plaque in my house. Other members of the family can freely go to a plaque in a garden of remembrance, and in your home you can keep photos and nice things. We take turns in caring for the plaque so it is properly cared for. Here you 'rent' the plaque area, so once someone stops leasing it, the plaque is removed. That way the plaques are not neglected and forgotten.

[orgXIIIfan]

OK. In order to stop me from being so emotional,here goes nothing. The dead should be respected, especially if they are our best or closest family members or friends.

Most of the housing estates in SIngapore are built above Chinese cemeteries, so the relatives take the remains and cremate them,they usually put the ashes in jars and put them in columbarians or in their temple.

The vases still have the dead relatives' name on it. So I think it is better to cremate for Buddhists and Christians.

[Repliku]

This is a really touchy question. I would hate to make something 'compulsory' such as cremation, but I do prefer it as dead bodies are not sanitary at all, decompose extremely slowly, and can ruin the land they are in. I do not think dead relatives really want to be remembered for how putrid they made a region after their souls departed. Nowadays they do have more procedures that are better for managing the dead, but also things happen to unearth grave areas and it just seems unsanitary, especially say when floods happen and taint the water this way. I find cremation a lot cleaner and also you can, as some people mentioned, get urns made special for the loved one, cremation is cheaper, and plaques can be made to put either in some sort of memorial or at home. I find it more respectful, though I am sure people won't all agree. However, as said, I would not want cremation to be compulsory because there are various methods people respect the dead with and I would feel rotten taking their rights away to do that and move on with their lives.

[Laurence_Fox]

I think everyone wants to be remembered in some way after they're dead. In a way, the headstone, plaque, etc. Allows that to be a reality. Even if we don't do anything to leave our mark on the world. When we die there should be something to let us know who we were.

I think there should be graves and I know I'm a little on the weird side when I say this but I like walking through graveyards and reading the dates and names on the headstones. Heck in one of the cemeteries there's a headstone made into a bench since that's what the guy wanted so someone would have a spot to sit down.

The oldest date I've seen on a headstone is from the 1800's. A veteran of the Spanish-American war. Which brings up another point, the headstones can teach us history. I had no idea Wisconsin, my state, was involved in the Spanish-American war until I read it on a tombstone. And mind you I was in High School by this point.

I feel bad when a headstone gets knocked over, and it happens every year around Halloween around here. I just feel it's disrespectful. For one thing, the families put a lot of money into the headstone and that money comes often from taxpayers to replace/repair the broken headstones. And also, the act of it seems just seems disrespectful, that kids should get their kicks out of tarnishing the memories of the dead.

I have a healthy respect for the dead and I feel that there should be graves. We should remember those that came before us.

[Repliku]

There's nothing wrong with going into graveyards and exploring the tombstones...unless I am crazy too. I lived right along side a graveyard. I don't get why people smash tombstones and it is a horrible thing to do. Then again, I don't get why people destroy other people's things, period. The graveyard though is a peaceful place and it is cool to see how long ago people in the area lived and also what remarks people left about them. I just think the 'bodies' themselves aren't a necessity to being there, but some marker is a good thing.

[Blademaster Mai'kel]

I think people should start switching to cremation. It's probably less expensive, and the grave (if it's buried) would be smaller.