View Full Version : Heartless
Laplace
11-11-2007, 08:24 PM
I am heartless, I am cold
I feel nothing, my heart is frozen
I donīt care for you
Nor nobody will do
I just want to cry
But I know I canīt
I donīt want to be weak
I donīt want to feel
I donīt feel happiness
I donīt believe in love
I donīt trust in anyone
Nor I will trust in you
Sadness, depression
Wrath, destruction
There is no happiness
Just wrath and sadness
I am cold, I am heartless
I donīt feel, I am careless
I am alone, in this world
And I will never love
Another sad poem, basically I express what I feel or what I felt.
Kairi9020
11-11-2007, 08:31 PM
That was.....Depressing.
Laplace
11-11-2007, 08:35 PM
That was.....Depressing.
I know, I am bad at poems, you were saying depressing of boredom, right?
Kairi9020
11-11-2007, 08:35 PM
No. It's noit a bad poem. It's really good. But it's just depressing.
Rayeofsunshine
11-11-2007, 09:45 PM
Depressing as a bad thing: When you're trying to write a happy poem.
I hope that was not a happy poem.
That was sad . . . I wanted to hide in a corner.
(That's a good compliment.)
And, you're good at poetry.
But, a hint I learned in Creative Writing class- Isolate your imagry. Use less words.
(I'm bad at this too.)
"I am heartless, I am cold
I feel nothing, my heart is frozen
I donīt care for you
Nor nobody will do"
or . . .
"I am heartless, cold.
Numb, frozen
Apathetic,
isn't everyone?"
Or something like that.
Condense your words or something.
Yeah.
Good though.
Laplace
11-11-2007, 09:49 PM
Depressing as a bad thing: When you're trying to write a happy poem.
I hope that was not a happy poem.
That was sad . . . I wanted to hide in a corner.
(That's a good compliment.)
And, you're good at poetry.
But, a hint I learned in Creative Writing class- Isolate your imagry. Use less words.
(I'm bad at this too.)
"I am heartless, I am cold
I feel nothing, my heart is frozen
I don´t care for you
Nor nobody will do"
or . . .
"I am heartless, cold.
Numb, frozen
Apathetic,
isn't everyone?"
Or something like that.
Condense your words or something.
Yeah.
Good though.
No, it was a sad poem, I maded it in less than 5 minutes, I use my emotional states, and thanks for the help.
vBulletin® v3.7.3, Copyright ©2000-2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.