View Full Version : First kiss...
Heaven's Angel
12-01-2007, 07:40 AM
It was like a dream come true
when i first kissed you.
Your lips pressed against mine
and mine against yours.
I felt like I was floating
high above the clouds
with you in my arms
I felt so happy
You held me close
as if you had known me for years
but we only met
just a few days ago.
when our kiss finally broke
you smiled at me
and grabbed me
in a gentle embrace
you told me you loved me
and I smiled at you
but now I ask myself
should I have trusted you?
Nymph of Destiny
12-01-2007, 07:45 AM
Wow...that was beautiful...really entrancing...awesome job. :) Oh, but around several of the last verses, you forgot to capitalize the 'I'...but anyway, great job. :)
Heaven's Angel
12-01-2007, 07:46 AM
eep i always do some spelling wrong... >.<
was it really that beautiful...? maybe i will show these to my writing teacher... O.o
Crumpet
12-01-2007, 07:51 AM
it was gawjuzz
Devil's Angel
12-01-2007, 08:27 AM
ROMANTIC! XD lol it was awesome :woohoo:
Heaven's Angel
12-01-2007, 08:29 AM
thanks, guys! ^.^
cloud's buddy
12-09-2007, 07:01 PM
it was really good
Very romantic , :D , I love this . :D
Destined
12-09-2007, 07:09 PM
I like the poem but wasn't expecting the last line!!! good job!! I like when writers can add just a simple twist to their poems that it can change the ENTIRE poem
Laplace
12-09-2007, 07:10 PM
Very good ^^, and is the first time you don´t rip the theme from me :P.
Heaven's Angel
12-09-2007, 07:39 PM
lol... I luv to make sudden twists at the end of poems... but it's difficult to do sometimes... >.<
yayz! lol... thanks! :P
O R A N G E
12-09-2007, 09:01 PM
OMG that was so good.
Did you recently have your first kiss or something? This is amazing.
Yes, the twist at the end pwns as well.
Great job.
Heaven's Angel
12-09-2007, 09:03 PM
No... I didn't... I don't remember ever kissing anybody at all... >.< this is what I imagine it would be like... glad you liked it! ^^
Last of the Organization
12-10-2007, 01:34 AM
Good length....good free verse....good atmosphere and good mood.....liked the twist at the end....although I still hope it turns out happy lol.....good job Destiny....
Heaven's Angel
12-10-2007, 01:38 AM
I suppose it turns out happy... >.< lol ^^ Glad you liked it ;P
JedininjaZC
12-10-2007, 01:39 AM
The first line of the poem got me intrested real quickly, and the poem was really romantic u did a great job!!!!!!!
Delicious ♥ Ambrosia
12-11-2007, 09:20 AM
This was really romantic and awesome. I liked it. :) Now I can't wait for my first kiss...
Hakurei Reimu
12-11-2007, 08:50 PM
*clap clap* it's beautiful...it's absolutely beautiful...
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