A new story made! [Archive] - KH-Vids.Net Forum

PDA

View Full Version : A new story made!


jojoj13
03-31-2008, 01:42 AM
Chapter 1

Jeffrey Carlton, a 15 year old, was always good at imagining things. He's also fast at thinking ideas. With his imaginations and his fast ideas, he makes adventure stories. He made many stories that are so amazing,
his books might be a best seller.

But he made the amazing story of what might be his last. It all started when he was at his home, at night, getting to sleep. When he slept, he had dream. In that dream, he saw a burning city. And he was in that burning city. Everyone in the city panic, screamed, and running. Then, Jeffrey saw armored people.
They had guns, grenades, everything that a soldier has. Jeffrey started to hide in a place they wouldn't see him. Some people rebeled at them. Hitting them with some of their bats and some have guns. But they were outnumbered. However, they had one man who was brave, fast, and strong.

He woke up. And when woke up, he started to record in his notebook what had happend in his dream.

"Jeffrey! Breakfast!" his mom said
"Just a second!" Jeffrey said

He was done at recording them. And started get going in school. While he was going to school, he thought to himself.

"I wonder what had happend that time. What was the cause for that to happend?"



End of Chapter 1

Aura
03-31-2008, 01:47 AM
That was really good.Maybe just work on your spelling a little ok.But so far its going good.

Rоxаs
03-31-2008, 03:55 PM
Nice, definetely work on spelling though.

Roxaspartanti
03-31-2008, 04:30 PM
Make chapters longer.

Amethyst Heart
04-12-2008, 12:32 AM
I really enjoyed that. And maybe make your chapters a bit longer.

Advent
04-19-2008, 04:12 AM
Not bad. I like the idea, but you could work on sentence structure a bit. Other than that, great job ^_^.