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Anniexo
02-08-2007, 08:41 PM
Okay since we're getting close to v-day I think this would be a good idea to do something like this

Rule:

One poem/song/mini story per person

They have to be in by Feb 13th.

Judgs: Me and Roxas

Get writing people

Roxas
02-09-2007, 12:43 AM
I will judge cuz I love writing if it's okay with you.

Shadow
02-09-2007, 02:25 AM
I have this in the bag >.>

*is a professional song writer*

Anyway, here ish my song. (Alot of course language)

We could be perfect one last night
And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight
And we can settle this affair
If you would shed your yellow take my hand
And then we'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity
This riddle of revenge please understand it has to be this way and

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

We've only got one chance to put this at an end
and cross the patron saint of switchblade fights
You said we're not celebrities, we spark and fade, they die by threes
I'll make you understand and you can trade me for an apparition

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never

Trust, you said
Who put the words in your head
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying

Stand
Take my ****ing hand
Take my ****ing...

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

Just because my hands around your throat!

Darkwatch
02-09-2007, 02:49 AM
It's here again for the last time
But by far we were recovered stars on a sublime
It's not quite time yet but we cry for a love scene
So come back again and viva la bam my fellow kids
But cover your eyes so it can't again be seen

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Now take this all back to the beginning
We don't need a new outlining
Who the **** cares but the police
Take yourself back to the place you came
For now I see the error in your conceit

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Run and hide
Take yourself back
Return the scars I gave you
Make yourself realize
This isn't your time

The music is tuning out
your face is leaving us once more
can you feel it
that's our life again


O.o I'm uber bored.

I probably suck. Haha.

Ratchet
02-10-2007, 09:52 AM
Here's my poem:

As gentle as the sacred night
My love flies out on velvet wings,
To where my love in slumber light
Dreams of life and happy things.
But separated by distant miles
This love is like a waking dream,
The sunrise of his radiant smile,
Can this love be all it seems?
And if one day, blessed by above
We will meet, hearts linked by love,
The story shows truth shines through,
Our love proves to be both pure and true.

cloudfinalfantasy3
02-12-2007, 10:02 PM
Heres my poem"my faith"

I turn around to find nobody loving me
no clouds floating above me.
the flames are still burning
they are all around me.
anger rages in my head
i feel like i'm dead.
nobody there for me
i never feel alive
friends lost in the darkness.
when theres something deep inside
it's just always a lie.
i never feel this way
when i see your face.
stay here with me
forever in eternity.
wish you'd come back
my head feels like a sack.
the onlything keeping me alive
is faith.
something deep inside
keeps my faith alive.

FUZZY SWEATER
02-12-2007, 10:14 PM
well, here it goes

there was something about that time, when you went away
I didn't know what,
but someway, somehow, something telled that you would come back
it's the wind, the wind calls my name
and for some reason, it sounds so familiar
and when i close my eyes, i remember
your face, the way you laughed
i wonder
if i should have said something more than just "goodbye"
more like

" i'll miss you"

hahannuh
02-13-2007, 04:32 AM
this poem is kind of scary but it is about "love"
and i just wrote it on the spot. and personally i think it's good.
anniexo! i haven't seen you around. well hi :]


obsession

however still i hold my breath
my heart's commotion shakes the world
that only i stand on
this chaotic ground,
one violent jolt
and i fall harder each time

this chaos penetrates through thick and thin
and yet you cannot feel a trace of any difference
i am cursed with this unremitting obsession
how so, my chest is numb from my frantic heart

oh please! i cannot take this burden
my heart is surely attempting to escape
one day it will surely break through
and i will lay before you unknown and cold

Anniexo
02-13-2007, 02:09 PM
I have this in the bag >.>

*is a professional song writer*

Anyway, here ish my song. (Alot of course language)

We could be perfect one last night
And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight
And we can settle this affair
If you would shed your yellow take my hand
And then we'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity
This riddle of revenge please understand it has to be this way and

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

We've only got one chance to put this at an end
and cross the patron saint of switchblade fights
You said we're not celebrities, we spark and fade, they die by threes
I'll make you understand and you can trade me for an apparition

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never

Trust, you said
Who put the words in your head
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying

Stand
Take my ****ing hand
Take my ****ing...

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

Just because my hands around your throat!

Sorry but I don't feel like this has anything to do with love, unles you have you hands around the one you loves throat...I'm giving it a 2/10

It's here again for the last time
But by far we were recovered stars on a sublime
It's not quite time yet but we cry for a love scene
So come back again and viva la bam my fellow kids
But cover your eyes so it can't again be seen

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Now take this all back to the beginning
We don't need a new outlining
Who the **** cares but the police
Take yourself back to the place you came
For now I see the error in your conceit

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Run and hide
Take yourself back
Return the scars I gave you
Make yourself realize
This isn't your time

The music is tuning out
your face is leaving us once more
can you feel it
that's our life again


O.o I'm uber bored.

I probably suck. Haha.

...Is this about the pain people are in when they lose love? but it was nicely written 4/10

Here's my poem:

As gentle as the sacred night
My love flies out on velvet wings,
To where my love in slumber light
Dreams of life and happy things.
But separated by distant miles
This love is like a waking dream,
The sunrise of his radiant smile,
Can this love be all it seems?
And if one day, blessed by above
We will meet, hearts linked by love,
The story shows truth shines through,
Our love proves to be both pure and true.

Now here is someone who can feel love, this is great, 7/10

Heres my poem"my faith"

I turn around to find nobody loving me
no clouds floating above me.
the flames are still burning
they are all around me.
anger rages in my head
i feel like i'm dead.
nobody there for me
i never feel alive
friends lost in the darkness.
when theres something deep inside
it's just always a lie.
i never feel this way
when i see your face.
stay here with me
forever in eternity.
wish you'd come back
my head feels like a sack.
the onlything keeping me alive
is faith.
something deep inside
keeps my faith alive.

Hmmm, I'm not to sure about this one, but I can tell it's about looking for love 7/10

well, here it goes

there was something about that time, when you went away
I didn't know what,
but someway, somehow, something telled that you would come back
it's the wind, the wind calls my name
and for some reason, it sounds so familiar
and when i close my eyes, i remember
your face, the way you laughed
i wonder
if i should have said something more than just "goodbye"
more like

" i'll miss you"

I can see this is about losing love, very nice 6/10

this poem is kind of scary but it is about "love"
and i just wrote it on the spot. and personally i think it's good.
anniexo! i haven't seen you around. well hi :]


obsession

however still i hold my breath
my heart's commotion shakes the world
that only i stand on
this chaotic ground,
one violent jolt
and i fall harder each time

this chaos penetrates through thick and thin
and yet you cannot feel a trace of any difference
i am cursed with this unremitting obsession
how so, my chest is numb from my frantic heart

oh please! i cannot take this burden
my heart is surely attempting to escape
one day it will surely break through
and i will lay before you unknown and cold

Well, to me I think this is about, loving someone you can't have, very nice 6/10

Okay Roxas what do you think of them?

Shadow
02-13-2007, 07:16 PM
Sorry but I don't feel like this has anything to do with love, unles you have you hands around the one you loves throat...I'm giving it a 2/10

All I can say is..ouch.

That song came straight from the heart.
I think Roxas may have a better thought about that song.

FUZZY SWEATER
02-13-2007, 08:03 PM
thanks for giving me some props!

i have been working on poetry for a while,

cloudfinalfantasy3
02-13-2007, 11:42 PM
YAY!! ME adn garath are in the lead.

Roxas
02-14-2007, 12:47 PM
(I'm not giving number ratings, I'm just going to decide which is the best from my head. That way, people won't feel bad if they get a low number.)

We could be perfect one last night
And die like star-crossed lovers when we fight
And we can settle this affair
If you would shed your yellow take my hand
And then we'll solve the mystery of laceration gravity
This riddle of revenge please understand it has to be this way and

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

We've only got one chance to put this at an end
and cross the patron saint of switchblade fights
You said we're not celebrities, we spark and fade, they die by threes
I'll make you understand and you can trade me for an apparition

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never

Trust, you said
Who put the words in your head
Oh how wrong we were to think
That immortality meant never dying

Stand
Take my ****ing hand
Take my ****ing...

Stand up ****ing tall
Don't let them see your back
Take my ****ing hand
and never be afraid again

Just because my hands around your throat!

I have mixed feelings about this because it doesn't seem to have anything to do with love, although, correct me if I'm wrong, but this song seems to be about a dying relationship. I actually liked the fact that you were able to make an indirect song and still tie it into our theme. The swearing was unneeded, and the stars definitely took away from the effect, but overall nice job :).

It's here again for the last time
But by far we were recovered stars on a sublime
It's not quite time yet but we cry for a love scene
So come back again and viva la bam my fellow kids
But cover your eyes so it can't again be seen

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Now take this all back to the beginning
We don't need a new outlining
Who the **** cares but the police
Take yourself back to the place you came
For now I see the error in your conceit

So c'mon
This is nothing but a radio show
Crave the next song my friends
But would you see the smiles

Run and hide
Take yourself back
Return the scars I gave you
Make yourself realize
This isn't your time

The music is tuning out
your face is leaving us once more
can you feel it
that's our life again

I sang this out loud in the style of a pop-punk song and it was very nice. I'm looking for the love but can't find any. Although it seems to be about... well, a healing relationship. Can't we have anything happy!? j/k, very good, and I can tell effort was put into this, just as Shadow's did.

As gentle as the sacred night
My love flies out on velvet wings,
To where my love in slumber light
Dreams of life and happy things.
But separated by distant miles
This love is like a waking dream,
The sunrise of his radiant smile,
Can this love be all it seems?
And if one day, blessed by above
We will meet, hearts linked by love,
The story shows truth shines through,
Our love proves to be both pure and true.

Amazing. Truly amazing. One of the best entries so far. I think you worked very hard on this, and it really shines through with themes of love. Great job :).

I turn around to find nobody loving me
no clouds floating above me.
the flames are still burning
they are all around me.
anger rages in my head
i feel like i'm dead.
nobody there for me
i never feel alive
friends lost in the darkness.
when theres something deep inside
it's just always a lie.
i never feel this way
when i see your face.
stay here with me
forever in eternity.
wish you'd come back
my head feels like a sack.
the onlything keeping me alive
is faith.
something deep inside
keeps my faith alive.

Alright, this is going to sound odd. Most people here know how much I rag on cff3, and how annoying I thinkhe is, etc. but this is FANTASTIC!!! Where did this come from!? What the hell!? I didn't even know he was capable of this!!! Did you write it? Congratulations, cff3, you have written an awesome poem. I can tell you're writing about a girl being far away, and you want to see her and be with her but can't. I mean, wow, how old are you again?

Wow.

obsession

however still i hold my breath
my heart's commotion shakes the world
that only i stand on
this chaotic ground,
one violent jolt
and i fall harder each time

this chaos penetrates through thick and thin
and yet you cannot feel a trace of any difference
i am cursed with this unremitting obsession
how so, my chest is numb from my frantic heart

oh please! i cannot take this burden
my heart is surely attempting to escape
one day it will surely break through
and i will lay before you unknown and cold

This is another really good poem. I'm surprised you wrote this on the spot, but I can also tell. Your feelings were clear to me, and I really did like it :).

Thanks for all the entries :). Today's Valentines Day!

Anniexo
02-14-2007, 12:58 PM
Okay, me and Roxas have talked about it and we both agreed on the winner, but befor I tell you the winner, I'll say who came in 2nd place... and that is

Cloudfinalfantasy3, well done


Now for the moment you have been waiting for. This years winner of the love contest is....





















Gharanth. Weldone for a very heart toughing poem, that i'm sure many people will agree is a great poem

Roxas
02-14-2007, 01:04 PM
I'm going to post both poems in the Creativity Corner and in the Valentines Day thread. Congratulations guys!

cloudfinalfantasy3
02-14-2007, 08:26 PM
Thanks!!! yay thanks roxas i just thought of it on the top of my mind i thought people was going to say it was bad lol but thanks. how did ghrath win she got a lower rating then i did on the other post by annixeo but i dont care yay!!.

Anniexo
02-14-2007, 08:28 PM
Thanks!!! yay thanks roxas i just thought of it on the top of my mind i thought people was going to say it was bad lol but thanks. how did ghrath win she got a lower rating then i did on the other post by annixeo but i dont care yay!!.

No you both got the same ratings from me

Ratchet
02-14-2007, 08:29 PM
Hey congratulation cloudfinalfantasy3. I liked your poem a lot.

Anniexo
02-14-2007, 08:30 PM
Hey congratulation cloudfinalfantasy3. I liked your poem a lot.

He should be congratulating you sis, you won

Ratchet
02-14-2007, 08:39 PM
I really did like his poem, I think he wrote what he felt, and it shone through.

Darkwatch
02-14-2007, 10:11 PM
I sang this out loud in the style of a pop-punk song and it was very nice.Pop-Punk was the genre I aimed for, exactly! xD

Thanks. ^_^

Congrats to all the winners! =D

Ratchet
02-14-2007, 10:20 PM
Is there music to yours Darky? I would love to hear the song.

Darkwatch
02-14-2007, 10:41 PM
well...

I actually got it from one of my bands songs. I wrote it, so it's not a super-important song...

But it's one of them. =/

And I can't upload the song because we never record. Lol. We are too lazy and we haven't the time at all. =P

Ratchet
02-14-2007, 10:43 PM
That's a shame. It looks really good. You should post more of your song lyrics.

FUZZY SWEATER
02-14-2007, 10:44 PM
hey sis,

congrats on your poem ^-^

Ratchet
02-14-2007, 10:46 PM
Thanks. Yours was really excellent as well. Keep writing them.

FUZZY SWEATER
02-14-2007, 10:47 PM
lol, i will

Darkwatch
02-14-2007, 10:57 PM
Add a little more to that post, Darksmile13. =o

And btw...I forgot to mention, my band is going to a studio to record professionally sometime this upcoming month(s)...

I'll be sure to tell Andrew to keep that song in mind. : D (he's the singer).

Roxas
02-14-2007, 11:15 PM
Yays!

I'm going to a recording studio with Connection Failed THIS SATURDAY!!!

I'm gonna be happy. I will post some of our lyrics when Nate comes on. Because he knows them >_> xD

FUZZY SWEATER
02-14-2007, 11:26 PM
looking cool there, roxas

you still have that long blonde hair, i see

Roxas
02-14-2007, 11:30 PM
Yes. I look so evil. It's kinda scary. And my friend is holding a sword to my goolies.

FUZZY SWEATER
02-14-2007, 11:31 PM
lol

i thought you were playing naruto for a sec.

Darkwatch
02-14-2007, 11:31 PM
Lol...I think this should be closed....

Annexio, PM me if you have anything else in here that should be posted or whatever.

Sorry, but this is to prevent spam, which has already (mildly) started.

-CLOSED-