running away

[jettie]

it is something i have thought about for a couple years. every time something happens, it comes in my thoughts about once a day. it is such a depressing thought, but is something i can't stop thinking about. i packed a backpack like a year ago for it. it had all the things i thought for importance. it had hours planned into it. most of the time when something happens i go in my room, and i look at it. everything is planned inside it and inside me. but there is always something holding me back. not that i want help running away i just want to not think about it anymore. i've never told anyone about this. but i've been thinking about it so much more the last few days. nothing seems to take my mind off of the thought.

[Oerba Yun Fang]

Folk that run away generally return home. I'm not sayin' everyone does that, cause i know of some that don't. If you did run away, where would you go, n' what would you do? Personally, runnin' away isn't worth it. You could perhaps go stay with a friend or other relative until thin's settle when they start to get at you. At least you would be safe n' in company of someone that cared for you.

[Reptar :D]

I had those feelings too but a lot of people have them, you should be thankful you have food givin to you, a home.....and Internet

[Random Angel]

Be thankful for what you have... I think about running away daily but you've gotta find something to keep you there. Think about loved ones and the fact when you're old enough you can live on your own

[jettie]

Folk that run away generally return home. I'm not sayin' everyone does that, cause i know of some that don't. If you did run away, where would you go, n' what would you do? Personally, runnin' away isn't worth it. You could perhaps go stay with a friend or other relative until thin's settle when they start to get at you. At least you would be safe n' in company of someone that cared for you.

i planned all of that to. and yes i would come back soon was one of my plans

Be thankful for what you have... I think about running away daily but you've gotta find something to keep you there. Think about loved ones and the fact when you're old enough you can live on your own

ya i know but my mom is supposed to be a loved one but she well is not acting loving right now...

[zexionXienzo6]

yeah... my ma and i just got into a fight like just now and i pretty much hate her for it but every time i think about running away it's like running away from my problems and that usually never solves anything. You should talk about how you're feeling to your mom or something... also i always think: If I ran away... where would i go? What would I do... I wouldnt have the comfort of home and i'd probably regret it... but you may feel stronger about it than i do. All I'm saying is... I wouldn't run away cus there's no where for me 2 go and nothingfor me to do... just think about the negative aspects of running away.

[jettie]

yeah... my ma and i just got into a fight like just now and i pretty much hate her for it but every time i think about running away it's like running away from my problems and that usually never solves anything. You should talk about how you're feeling to your mom or something... also i always think: If I ran away... where would i go? What would I do... I wouldnt have the comfort of home and i'd probably regret it... but you may feel stronger about it than i do. All I'm saying is... I wouldn't run away cus there's no where for me 2 go and nothingfor me to do... just think about the negative aspects of running away.

i just had a fight with my mom, i don't talk durring or after them. i just hold it all in and try not to cry. i'm starting to cry thinking about it. she is the only one home, that is the comfort often.

[Repliku]

I actually left home at 13 and 16 because of child abuse and hating my living circumstances. Unless things are really bad, running away really is not the answer. There is too much going on outside of the home in the really real world and it's not too friendly out there. The best thing you can do really is to come to terms with your situation and realize that when you are old enough, freedom will be yours.

How old are you now? Think that in a few years you'll be done with high school etc and be out of there. The instability is not worth it. Also, if you now have some things, think how unpredictable stuff will be if you just leave. I know it's rough to think about a time when you don't have to deal with the pain you have now, but that time will come. Are you being abused or harmed? What makes you particularly want to run off? If you really do decide though to run off, you would do yourself well to make sure that you have some place to actually go to so you aren't wandering the streets. Quite a few places have curfews and such and being homeless...that would suck. School is coming back soon so perhaps getting out of the home more will be possible and help quell some of these feelings.

[jettie]

I actually left home at 13 and 16 because of child abuse and hating my living circumstances. Unless things are really bad, running away really is not the answer. There is too much going on outside of the home in the really real world and it's not too friendly out there. The best thing you can do really is to come to terms with your situation and realize that when you are old enough, freedom will be yours.

How old are you now? Think that in a few years you'll be done with high school etc and be out of there. The instability is not worth it. Also, if you now have some things, think how unpredictable stuff will be if you just leave. I know it's rough to think about a time when you don't have to deal with the pain you have now, but that time will come. Are you being abused or harmed? What makes you particularly want to run off? If you really do decide though to run off, you would do yourself well to make sure that you have some place to actually go to so you aren't wandering the streets. Quite a few places have curfews and such and being homeless...that would suck. School is coming back soon so perhaps getting out of the home more will be possible and help quell some of these feelings.


i'm not physically harmed, no. just hate being screamed and picked on every day by my mom. yes i have thought about the curfews. why would i wonder the streets? they would take me back if i was found, well by some people. i'm 16. i was supposed to start a school activity in like a couple days but mom won't let me now.

[Repliku]

Wait till tomorrow and ask her again. You have two days and possibly you can convince her. If she's just nagging you, then try to cope with it. You don't have too much longer to have to hear it if you think on it. 2 years isn't that far away. I do think though you need more time away possibly from her and to do things constructive for yourself. Maybe find some hobbies and just make sure to do the chores you might have to do and get them over with early so you don't encourage certain things.

Some parents just are excellent naggers. Your life though is important and maybe you can see on doing some things like can you by any chance sleep over someone's house now and then to get out? Or just take some walks or something to get you out of the house a bit more? Seems like you are tired of being couped up and some fresh air while not running away might be an option if you can swing it.

[jettie]

Wait till tomorrow and ask her again. You have two days and possibly you can convince her. If she's just nagging you, then try to cope with it. You don't have too much longer to have to hear it if you think on it. 2 years isn't that far away. I do think though you need more time away possibly from her and to do things constructive for yourself. Maybe find some hobbies and just make sure to do the chores you might have to do and get them over with early so you don't encourage certain things.

Some parents just are excellent naggers. Your life though is important and maybe you can see on doing some things like can you by any chance sleep over someone's house now and then to get out? Or just take some walks or something to get you out of the house a bit more? Seems like you are tired of being couped up and some fresh air while not running away might be an option if you can swing it.


ask her what? about the school thing? it is not nagging i know when it is just nagging. i'm not aloud of the house. i'm grounded. constructive for myself?

[Repliku]

So you are grounded...so you want to run away? ... Ok. So if you messed up, why is it such a desire to get out of being grounded? How long is it for?

[jettie]

So you are grounded...so you want to run away? ... Ok. So if you messed up, why is it such a desire to get out of being grounded? How long is it for?


it is only for 2 more weeks. it is not the fact i'm grounded that is why i want to run away. i just wanna be left alone i guess... it is a build up of things and emotions. i know if i get caught life will be worse. but i just well it is what u said, i need to get away from her but i don't know how...

[Tora-chan]

Hey jettie, i don't think you should run away. There may be a few reasons for it, but there are a lot of negative things that could come with it. Planning it in a lot of detail won't really help you to stop thinking about it. It's kinda cool though that you can come out about this, because a lot of people don't. I don't know how much help I can be, but i really hope this all works out for you.
*hug*

[jettie]

Hey jettie, i don't think you should run away. There may be a few reasons for it, but there are a lot of negative things that could come with it. Planning it in a lot of detail won't really help you to stop thinking about it. It's kinda cool though that you can come out about this, because a lot of people don't. I don't know how much help I can be, but i really hope this all works out for you.
*hug*

it't took me like 4 years to come out with it...and only on the internet with no one i know physically. i'm gunna try what repliku said. if that fails i'm starting over.

[Xaale]

Don't run away, it doesn't really solve anything except showing you how real life is when you are all alone. When I was young, I did the same thing. I had it all planned out, and everything packed. I never liked my mum, I'm not really going into it more then she screamed at me everyday, hits, scratches, told me to go behind my dad's car (which I did, 'cause I was young n' terrified of my mum, so thank god my dad heard her and the whole kit and kaboodle, at least I live with my dad now.

I never did run away, but now that I'm older, and even though I'm only thirteen, I've seen a bigger reality of living on your own in life. Please don't. I understand what you are feeling.

[jettie]

Don't run away, it doesn't really solve anything except showing you how real life is when you are all alone. When I was young, I did the same thing. I had it all planned out, and everything packed. I never liked my mum, I'm not really going into it more then she screamed at me everyday, hits, scratches, told me to go behind my dad's car (which I did, 'cause I was young n' terrified of my mum, so thank god my dad heard her and the whole kit and kaboodle, at least I live with my dad now.

I never did run away, but now that I'm older, and even though I'm only thirteen, I've seen a bigger reality of living on your own in life. Please don't. I understand what you are feeling.

i had my dad over hear to, he was like a savior in a way. but now he is gone almost all the time. and mom is just is getting worse every day.

[Skittles]

it is something i have thought about for a couple years. every time something happens, it comes in my thoughts about once a day. it is such a depressing thought, but is something i can't stop thinking about. i packed a backpack like a year ago for it. it had all the things i thought for importance. it had hours planned into it. most of the time when something happens i go in my room, and i look at it. everything is planned inside it and inside me. but there is always something holding me back. not that i want help running away i just want to not think about it anymore. i've never told anyone about this. but i've been thinking about it so much more the last few days. nothing seems to take my mind off of the thought.

D:

I've felt that way so many times, and still do. When you really sit down and THINK of the reason on why you want to run.. and then you think of all the good things in your life.. you change you mind. 'Cause you know that it's just a small issue.. that makes you fell that way... there are small speed bumps in our life and we shouldn't take them seriously... because in the end we forget it ever happened and move on to the positive side of life.

And thnik about all the people you left behind... thinking about you, worrying about you.. there all hurting inside because of there mistakes they mad, they take in everything they think made you go and blame themselves.

Always think positive, never look back on the past and look forward. There's always a light there for you. :3

[jettie]

D:

I've felt that way so many times, and still do. When you really sit down and THINK of the reason on why you want to run.. and then you think of all the good things in your life.. you change you mind. 'Cause you know that it's just a small issue.. that makes you fell that way... there are small speed bumps in our life and we shouldn't take them seriously... because in the end we forget it ever happened and move on to the positive side of life.

And thnik about all the people you left behind... thinking about you, worrying about you.. there all hurting inside because of there mistakes they mad, they take in everything they think made you go and blame themselves.

Always think positive, never look back on the past and look forward. There's always a light there for you. :3

but they would all move on to the positive side of life afterwards. maby i just want mom to realize what she is doing. she will think of everything wrong, if i leave her behind. i just don't know...

[Skittles]

but they would all move on to the positive side of life afterwards. maby i just want mom to realize what she is doing. she will think of everything wrong, if i leave her behind. i just don't know...

Wait, no that wasn't where I wanted to go. Have you ever thought of confronting you mother? And just letting it all out? It feels good afterwards. Me and my dad...we'd have our fights and I'd yell at him, letting him feel all the pain I've held back. And then he'd understand later on.. when he thinks about everything I've yelled at him...

[jettie]

yes i've thought it, but i never talk, nun the less yell. i just can't force my self to do it. i guess i'm scared she will get madder. i don't know how to do it at all. well i did one time in a letter. she got really mad and started slamming me around. never did that again.

[Skittles]

yes i've thought it, but i never talk, nun the less yell. i just can't force my self to do it. i guess i'm scared she will get madder. i don't know how to do it at all. well i did one time in a letter. she got really mad and started slamming me around. never did that again.

.....
Ha now I'm thinking you should run away. *smirk*
Just to make he not the truth.. leave another letter and like go to the police or something when you have some kind of physical damage.... but that's like... wrong.. it feels wrong and I'm not helping in any way..
.....

I'm sorry... V.V

[jettie]

but i've never told a human in real life. i'm to scard for that. that is why i planned leaving. just leave them it all in my thoughts.

[Skittles]

Just leave without reason.. that's what your thinking. So they can worry some more, sleep and feel bad about it.
But if you leave a note with one word on it, I think they'd get the picture.

[jettie]

i would lave a note but not tell her where or when or any of that stuff.

[Skittles]

i would lave a note but not tell her where or when or any of that stuff.

Yeah, I'd just let them know the reason behind my leaving. So they can look apun that person and think bad things... >_>

[jettie]

ya, the way u worded that XD
i have one, well a list i keep updated for years.

[Skittles]

ya, the way u worded that XD
i have one, well a list i keep updated for years.

I'd leave the top person...
>_>

[jettie]

I'd leave the top person...
>_>


what? what do you mean by that?

[Repliku]

jettie, don't run away. Your mom is someone who has anxiety and yells and screams a lot over small stuff. She's stressed but she needs to learn. She's not really abusing you other than verbally and frustrating you. It's not a life or death scenario like I thought I was in when I was 13 because my mom was a freaking psycho. I even 'trained' her in the end because well, after a certain point she couldn't even hurt me anymore physically.

The thing I'd suggest you do instead is try to stand up for yourself some more. You say you keep a lot inside of you. I have a couple suggestions for you to try perhaps but I really do think you should -confront- her on the issues if all she does is throw tantrums where she says stupid things and maybe tries to hit you now and then.

One is that you tell her straight out something to the affect of "Mom, we need to talk. I am tired of being hurt and you probably are too. I want a better relation with you and I want to stop feeling like dirt because of the stuff you say and do. You've gone too far and I don't need the stress. I'd help you but you've got to back off me more so we can work as a family." Saying something like this may make her mad and fuming but you can also tell her if she refuses to talk and just starts screaming "Talk to me when you can do so in a calmer voice and actually want to listen to my side for a change" and walk away. Sometimes to stop the cycle of stupid abuse the kid does have to take charge and show some maturity.

If you cannot do that because you really do not like confrontation... I suggest this. Write a note to her explaining your feelings that you have about her scolding, chastising and belittling you. Tell her in the letter the things you'd want to say to her if you were standing in a room with her in a controlled environment where she couldn't hit you and you know some force would be keeping her quiet. Also, tell her you love her and want to resolve things but you cannot deal with things as they are and both of you need to change and have better communication. Save the letter for the next time she yells at you and really hurts you. Then take it out, drop it or put it on the table where she can see it and say Read the letter, I'll be back to talk'. Take a walk around the block, go spend a couple hours away from the house if you need to. Go do something to try to relax.

If you stay around the house tell her you won't talk to her until she's read the letter. Sometimes you do need to take a stand and let the parent know he/she is going too far and if it can be fixed without running off, it's worth a shot so you've tried all angles before taking the big step to saying 'farewell to this crap'. You are right in that running away is an eye opener, but it also causes you more pain than it can be worth. Running away should be the last option and if you are willing to go through with such an act, why not try the lesser thing first which is to fix the family problems at home? I'd suggest doing one of these acts before you decide to pack up and say toodles so that you know if things can be worked out at all. Maybe someone else has some other ideas they've used. Just, you may have to confront some issues before they are going to get better. Running away is the option when all other avenues fail and if you have to go then, at least you know you did everything in your power to make her listen first so you gave her a chance and you a chance. In life we just have to sometimes take a stand and if that doesn't work, yeah, we gotta move on.

[Xephos]

it is something i have thought about for a couple years. every time something happens, it comes in my thoughts about once a day. it is such a depressing thought, but is something i can't stop thinking about. i packed a backpack like a year ago for it. it had all the things i thought for importance. it had hours planned into it. most of the time when something happens i go in my room, and i look at it. everything is planned inside it and inside me. but there is always something holding me back. not that i want help running away i just want to not think about it anymore. i've never told anyone about this. but i've been thinking about it so much more the last few days. nothing seems to take my mind off of the thought.
Why do you want to run away? Is the reason your family? Don't like school? Don't like your life?

[jettie]

i actually did the letter thing. i have the last one that i wrote her. but i should make a new one that she might respond better to. i'm not confronting her. a controlled environment? what do u mean by that? so a letter with me feelings is what it should have in it?

[Repliku]

Basically, write a letter if you want to go that approach and say in it the positives and negatives. Let her know that you are upset with her that she yells at you all the time and you just cannot talk to her at all when she's like that. Explain you care and want things to get better but they never will as long as she keeps mistreating you and that you are mature enough to handle talking to her calmly to resolve things and want to make the family scenario work but she has to also be willing to. Express your feelings on how you feel when she does scold you and scream at you and that you just can't say anything back because it's extremely hard to talk to anyone who is very angry. Make it a letter that shows that you are willing to work with her but only if she will tone down her anger and talk to you civilly. That's basically what I mean. Show that there is some kind of positive that can come out of it such as you both getting along much better with each other and helping each other out and well, doing things as a family would. But at the same time let her know the current relationship is just not working out and it is really getting you very upset and angry yourself.

Does that help to explain it more? It's a matter of being in depth with both a future of wanting to work together and yet addressing the heart of the matter which is things can't go on as they are.

[LongAndRandomUserNameFTW]

Think this:

If you ran away...where would you run to?

[jettie]

Why do you want to run away? Is the reason your family? Don't like school? Don't like your life?

yes of course all of that helps. one last thing is when do i lay it out.

[Twi1ight69]

I advise not to run away because where are you gonna go? No one is going to take you in to there homes. You will end up on the streets alone and starveing. People will just pass you by without a care in the world and pay no mind to you. Also the things that you have packed away wont last, and then what will you do. Its a very, very, very, tough world out there. You might think you got it tough now, but wait until thats if you choose to run away, you will see how hard and harsh it really is...............SO DON'T RUN AWAY!!!!!:nono:

[jettie]

i know now. i've decided to try to fix the problem first. if not, well i guess it will just go back to the same spot.

[Repliku]

yes of course all of that helps. one last thing is when do i lay it out.

Pick a time when she is definitely home and will get it. Either wait until she starts yelling at you and just put it down and say 'read it' and head out of the house for a bit or do it at a calm time when emotionally she doesn't seem stressed and you can then stick around or go for a walk. Either or works. Just make sure you don't just leave it laying around somewhere that she can't find it and know when you lay it out that she should read it sooner or later so then you are prepared for her reaction.

[jettie]

okay i will do that, thanks for everything again, all of you.

[daxma]

it is something i have thought about for a couple years. every time something happens, it comes in my thoughts about once a day. it is such a depressing thought, but is something i can't stop thinking about. i packed a backpack like a year ago for it. it had all the things i thought for importance. it had hours planned into it. most of the time when something happens i go in my room, and i look at it. everything is planned inside it and inside me. but there is always something holding me back. not that i want help running away i just want to not think about it anymore. i've never told anyone about this. but i've been thinking about it so much more the last few days. nothing seems to take my mind off of the thought.What you need is a life change.Do something a bit impulsive.It helps just don't let it spiral out of control.If you don't feel like that buy a good book.It really helps to get your mind off things by delving into a good book.Find outlets for feelings like listening to music you like.At this very moment i'm listening to linkin Park and it really helps me when i amn't feeling well or have something on my mind.

[jettie]

it has gone the wrong way realy fast. mom is not wanting to help for help. now it is just all her and how she is so sad and all this but she won't let me talk to her about it. uh it is getting bad now she is just like exploded! she is sceaming depression like things. help please fast, anyone.

[Luna Lovegood]

it has gone the wrong way realy fast. mom is not wanting to help for help. now it is just all her and how she is so sad and all this but she won't let me talk to her about it. uh it is getting bad now she is just like exploded! she is sceaming depression like things. help please fast, anyone.

As Kitty said earlier, go to a friend's house and ask to stay there until things clear up if it's getting dangerous to stay at home.

[jettie]

As Kitty said earlier, go to a friend's house and ask to stay there until things clear up if it's getting dangerous to stay at home.

understood. i'm not supposed to leave the house. but i might just do that soon. really soon.

[Repliku]

Did you give her the note? Or just try talking to her? Either way, she seems to be very anxious and needs to calm down. If you do have to head out to a friend's do that, but you might also want to tell her that you are there for her when she wants you to be. She seems like she's going through a lot. I take it by what you said, you don't know exactly what is her problem. Stand strong though and keep us informed if you can.

[jettie]

Did you give her the note? Or just try talking to her? Either way, she seems to be very anxious and needs to calm down. If you do have to head out to a friend's do that, but you might also want to tell her that you are there for her when she wants you to be. She seems like she's going through a lot. I take it by what you said, you don't know exactly what is her problem. Stand strong though and keep us informed if you can.

well i left but i had no where to go. i'm stopped at mcDonalds and typed this on my psp with free internet. i got a friend on e-mail to let me stay over. mom doesn't know their number witch bothered me. and the friend doesn't know anything about the conflict. i will call her tomorrow and tell her what u said. they do have internet though. i tried talking but i failed so i pulled the note out and asked her to please read it and then we can talk. then it went well bad.

[♥AL90♥]

There are many sulotions to your problem.

OPTION #1:
Many times when hard times roll around people have really bad stress and anxiety. In this option I recommend a psychiatrist. Someone who can help with your mom's problems. Trust me not all of them treat people like a project.

OPTION #2
You can let your mom run out of steam and then talk to her. Just let her yell and scream and get it all out while you discreetly listen to your PSP or something. (or buy some really good earplugs). Once she's done she'll be too exausted to stop you from talking to her.

OPTION #3
You can apply for a talk show (not Dr. Phil at least if you don't want to be humiliated) where you and your mom can talk this over. It's on TV so she'll have to listen to the professional specialist.

OPTION #4
You could tell someone what's going on at home and have them help you. Someone at school that you trust. A teacher a guidance counselor (well when we get back to school). Or tell one of your friends what's going on. Maybe they and their parents can help your situation.

I know this is really tough for you but you still don't want to run away. Be strong and remember that there will be plenty of members who are willing to help you here. (if they don't they will be ridiculed to no end)

Also I really do think you should tell a trusted adult. Sometimes your friends won't know how to respond and give you the wrong advice. Easier said then done but it'll be off of your chest.

[jettie]

There are many sulotions to your problem.

OPTION #1:
Many times when hard times roll around people have really bad stress and anxiety. In this option I recommend a psychiatrist. Someone who can help with your mom's problems. Trust me not all of them treat people like a project.

OPTION #2
You can let your mom run out of steam and then talk to her. Just let her yell and scream and get it all out while you discreetly listen to your PSP or something. (or buy some really good earplugs). Once she's done she'll be too exausted to stop you from talking to her.

OPTION #3
You can apply for a talk show (not Dr. Phil at least if you don't want to be humiliated) where you and your mom can talk this over. It's on TV so she'll have to listen to the professional specialist.

OPTION #4
You could tell someone what's going on at home and have them help you. Someone at school that you trust. A teacher a guidance counselor (well when we get back to school). Or tell one of your friends what's going on. Maybe they and their parents can help your situation.

I know this is really tough for you but you still don't want to run away. Be strong and remember that there will be plenty of members who are willing to help you here. (if they don't they will be ridiculed to no end)

Also I really do think you should tell a trusted adult. Sometimes your friends won't know how to respond and give you the wrong advice. Easier said then done but it'll be off of your chest.

1. ya but it will be a while, if ever to convince her to go to one.
2. i am sure ignoring her will not just have her stand in one place and scream, it will go worse at this point
3. well 3 actually made me smile!
4. is the option i will have to end up doing, when i start doing something.
till now i'm tired i have to go sorry. when i wake in the night i might get back on.

EDIT: it has been 15 hours sense i left. what should i say in my call other than i'm there for u? i don't wanna mess things up more.

[Repliku]

I hope now you are at your friend's house. I'd go somewhere and call her that isn't at your friend's house so that she doesn't find out where you are unless you want her to know. Some numbers leave call back numbers so if their number is public that may not be a good thing. Find a public phone if you can, probably at McDonalds if that is close.

Then call her and tell her that you love her but she needs to read the note and understand you. You can also say you just want to understand her and why everything is so hard right now and that you want to have a family that loves and works together. Tell her you'll come home once she is willing to talk to you and that you both need each other but not like this. You want some solutions because living in this way is really tearing you and her apart.

See if that helps at all and keep me posted. Also, be careful out there. If she finds out where you are staying she may call the cops and the friend's parents could get in trouble for holding you there. You may want to go home tomorrow and just try to face her and say that you want to work things out but it's up to her to do. Also, if you do talk to her, I'd suggest you say that either she and you go to family counseling to work things out or that she sits down with you and talks to you and you talk to her so you can try to work things out but you don't feel you want to go home until you have some kind of validation in that. If she does call the cops, you will have to explain to them about what's going on and from there they will give you options.

Really, when I said go out for a while I meant merely a few hours. I wasn't thinking you'd actually go somewhere but some people's voices here obviously rang stronger than mine. No matter what happens though, jettie, you are going to have to listen to her sooner or later so I hope that you are ready for that. Things can work out, so keep hanging in there.

[jettie]

I hope now you are at your friend's house. I'd go somewhere and call her that isn't at your friend's house so that she doesn't find out where you are unless you want her to know. Some numbers leave call back numbers so if their number is public that may not be a good thing. Find a public phone if you can, probably at McDonalds if that is close.

Then call her and tell her that you love her but she needs to read the note and understand you. You can also say you just want to understand her and why everything is so hard right now and that you want to have a family that loves and works together. Tell her you'll come home once she is willing to talk to you and that you both need each other but not like this. You want some solutions because living in this way is really tearing you and her apart.

See if that helps at all and keep me posted. Also, be careful out there. If she finds out where you are staying she may call the cops and the friend's parents could get in trouble for holding you there. You may want to go home tomorrow and just try to face her and say that you want to work things out but it's up to her to do. Also, if you do talk to her, I'd suggest you say that either she and you go to family counseling to work things out or that she sits down with you and talks to you and you talk to her so you can try to work things out but you don't feel you want to go home until you have some kind of validation in that. If she does call the cops, you will have to explain to them about what's going on and from there they will give you options.

Really, when I said go out for a while I meant merely a few hours. I wasn't thinking you'd actually go somewhere but some people's voices here obviously rang stronger than mine. No matter what happens though, jettie, you are going to have to listen to her sooner or later so I hope that you are ready for that. Things can work out, so keep hanging in there.

it wasn't my plan to leave, but she started threatening and throwing stuff at me so i took the chance and slipped out. i couldn't stay at my friends forever. called 2 times but with my friends phone and nothing, didn't leave a message. i didn't wanna go back but i did. they had not called the cops yet. i'm back now. i didn't talk to her. my dad was home and he just sent me to my room. he had to leave shortly after though. it is quiet here. i think mom realized she messed up, but i dunno how long it will stay. i don't wanna be the one to start the conversation. i've realised it is crap out there. pretty scary to. it was dark and storming like hell. should i go out and talk to her?

[Repliku]

When does your dad come home? Maybe when he gets home all of you can talk and try to work out things. I'm sure he and she probably talked over things while you were gone. He probably sent you to your room to avoid anymore conflicts until he can get home.

[jettie]

i don't see him often. he has to work for the whole family. he is always out playing gigs or working. so now what?

[Repliku]

It's rough to say. How was she acting when you got home? Just being quiet and letting your dad handle the situation? If so, you may want to let things lay low unless she opens up dialog with you but just make sure of course you are fed and such. Don't be too noisy if you can help it. She may want to talk to you or not right now. If you can though I'd suggest trying to talk to your dad when you can and perhaps tomorrow sometime trying to talk to her. If she rebuffs you (blows you off or wants you out of her face) wait for your dad and try to get them both together.

[jettie]

It's rough to say. How was she acting when you got home? Just being quiet and letting your dad handle the situation? If so, you may want to let things lay low unless she opens up dialog with you but just make sure of course you are fed and such. Don't be too noisy if you can help it. She may want to talk to you or not right now. If you can though I'd suggest trying to talk to your dad when you can and perhaps tomorrow sometime trying to talk to her. If she rebuffs you (blows you off or wants you out of her face) wait for your dad and try to get them both together.

yes she just let dad do everything. i will not be nosey. i don't even leave my room unless i must. i never know when dad will show up. i guess hope if not i will go out to her tomorrow.

[Repliku]

That may be the best thing to do since you don't know what your dad told her either. Hopefully he'll be home tomorrow so you could all talk. Keep cool.

[jettie]

i have waited up for over 2 days. i haven't left my room but for bathroom. that is it. no dad yet. can i just keep waiting? i am not wanting to make everything worse.

[Repliku]

Well, staying in your room for 2 days is some time. It will be a new day soon so perhaps you should try to come out in the morning and talk to her if he's not going to be home.

It crosses my mind though that maybe part of the reason she's so anxious and upset is that he's not around much and she might not want to say anything to you about that. It does make me wonder if she's not getting sad for that reason that he's just not there.