Okay so...

[Spunk Ransom (:]

There is this guy that I know, I went out with him late last year and early this year, and he was a complete jerk to me when were going out, he cheated on me and pretty much ignored me all the time. We are broken up now, since January, and for awhile we were pretty good friends, when we were going out I helped him alot with his problems about not letting stuff go and thinking what happened in the past stayed in the past. For a few weeks we did not talk or anything and this was because I was just tired of him, he was a jerk again and I could not deal with it. I started to talk to him again and he admits to me that he has a drinking problem again, I have been trying to get him to stop, but atleast twice a week he upsets me and we get into an argument. I really just want to stop being friends with him because he is such a jerk, but he told me that I helped him out before, by getting his life straight, but when we stopped talking he went back to the way he was. I am not the only person he does this to, he does it to his other, really close friends as well. One of them, I am also good friends with, and he has also gotten to the same point I have. He really annoys more than just the two of us and I really just want to keep away from him, to keep me from going insane, on that note he also drives my mom insane. I need to know whether or not to just not be friends with him anymore or try to help him again. Please help me out here.

[Skittles]

D:

Gurl, I'm sorry but if he's such an ass.. I'd leave him. He doesn't take you for granted, he's not taking you seriously as you think you are. I'd leave him, and make him feel like sh!t because he lost one of his friends, that
"Got his life back together." And if he bugs you, make him feel like sh!t and say "This is how I felt the hole ****ing time I was with you!" <:/

......

Sorry...

[Spunk Ransom (:]

I would actually love to say that to him, and he is like the biggest ass I know, I think I will do that, just ignore him and if he says something about it, I will say that to him, he causes too much stress in my life for just being one person. Thank you!

[Near]

D:

Gurl, I'm sorry but if he's such an ass.. I'd leave him. He doesn't take you for granted, he's not taking you seriously as you think you are. I'd leave him, and make him feel like sh!t because he lost one of his friends, that
"Got his life back together." And if he bugs you, make him feel like sh!t and say "This is how I felt the hole ****ing time I was with you!" <:/

......

Sorry...
Actually, I agree with you. I think if someone's treating you that bad, just leave them. If he needs your help that much, then he should treat you better.

[Skittles]

I would actually love to say that to him, and he is like the biggest ass I know, I think I will do that, just ignore him and if he says something about it, I will say that to him, he causes too much stress in my life for just being one person. Thank you!

Yeah, and the hole thing with the mom stuff.... Hell no. He needs a taste of his own medicine. Give that guy what he deserves. >:3
Guys like that, that are drunkies and be sh!t heads to us... no. ;D

[Repliku]

I would be rather blunt with him and say that he needs to start acting like a friend if he wants you to be a friend or you are not going to be in his life that way. Tell him that he's being inconsiderate and you have taken a lot of time out for him and if he wants you to be a true friend, it'd be nice if he does the same for you. Right now he's in 'selfish' mode and not thinking of others because he obviously has some personal issues of some kind going on. However, you don't have to be a martyr and trash your own life or put up with that either. If you care about him, the best thing to be is honest and say that friends care for and help each other and it's a two way street and he's not done crap for you at all lately. Make him earn your friendship or he can move on. He's just bringing you down with the way things are currently and if he wants any sympathy and help, he's got to want to help himself first and also see that friends aren't just people who do what 'he' wants.

[Spunk Ransom (:]

Actually, I agree with you. I think if someone's treating you that bad, just leave them. If he needs your help that much, then he should treat you better.

Agreed.


Yeah, and the hole thing with the mom stuff.... Hell no. He needs a taste of his own medicine. Give that guy what he deserves. >:3
Guys like that, that are drunkies and be sh!t heads to us... no. ;D

Yeah, he even really ticked her off Sunday, she came to pick him up for church and he came out in his freakin' boxers....

I would be rather blunt with him and say that he needs to start acting like a friend if he wants you to be a friend or you are not going to be in his life that way. Tell him that he's being inconsiderate and you have taken a lot of time out for him and if he wants you to be a true friend, it'd be nice if he does the same for you. Right now he's in 'selfish' mode and not thinking of others because he obviously has some personal issues of some kind going on. However, you don't have to be a martyr and trash your own life or put up with that either. If you care about him, the best thing to be is honest and say that friends care for and help each other and it's a two way street and he's not done crap for you at all lately. Make him earn your friendship or he can move on. He's just bringing you down with the way things are currently and if he wants any sympathy and help, he's got to want to help himself first and also see that friends aren't just people who do what 'he' wants.

He has told me that he really cares about our friendship before, but he does not show, I really just want to be blunt with him, I have tried, but what he does is act like he is perfect and just says "What are you talking about?" Acting like he has done nothing wrong.

[Skittles]

Agreed.



Yeah, he even really ticked her off Sunday, she came to pick him up for church and he came out in his freakin' boxers....



He has told me that he really cares about our friendship before, but he does not show, I really just want to be blunt with him, I have tried, but what he does is act like he is perfect and just says "What are you talking about?" Acting like he has done nothing wrong.

Wow, talk about number one *******. Leave the guy, he's just... rrrrrrrrrrrr...
Your nothing to him, and he shows it, don't take your time and energy, and the rest of your life to feel bad for him when he treats you like sh!t. >(

[Spunk Ransom (:]

Yeah, I think I will just leave him in the dust, and if he tries to be my friend again I will be blunt with him and do what Repliku said, but I really just to get away from him, and ignore him. yay.

[Skittles]

Yeah, I think I will just leave him in the dust, and if he tries to be my friend again I will be blunt with him and do what Repliku said, but I really just to get away from him, and ignore him. yay.

You go gurl. Tell that dumb ass! ;DD

[Spunk Ransom (:]

Hey, that is like my favorite think to call him, dumb ass, or worse things I won't mention,,,but I do not want to spam here so yeah.......Thank you for the help everyone who helped!!!!!! (: It really did help me!

[Repliku]

If he says words, words are meaningless without actions. That's not good enough and you deserve to be treated better. Words don't accomplish anything at all but keep you hoping and waiting on actions that do not seem to be coming about. That's pretty much what I'd say to him and walk away. You have other things to do with your life if he cannot be a real friend and figure out what it means. Don't fall for the look and words. Demand action or the ultimatum of 'see ya later'. I would leave him in the dust too as you said because he's causing nothing but pain for you.

[Skittles]

Hey, that is like my favorite think to call him, dumb ass, or worse things I won't mention,,,but I do not want to spam here so yeah.......Thank you for the help everyone who helped!!!!!! (: It really did help me!

Your welcome, hope you life a awesome life without the guy. Live healthy and a wonderful bright life. :3

[Spunk Ransom (:]

If he says words, words are meaningless without actions. That's not good enough and you deserve to be treated better. Words don't accomplish anything at all but keep you hoping and waiting on actions that do not seem to be coming about. That's pretty much what I'd say to him and walk away. You have other things to do with your life if he cannot be a real friend and figure out what it means. Don't fall for the look and words. Demand action or the ultimatum of 'see ya later'. I would leave him in the dust too as you said because he's causing nothing but pain for you.

Yeah, I really want to tell him that, and I hope I will get the chance to. I just seriously hope he will not be drunk when I try, the other day I stayed up until three in the morning talking to him on myspace when he was drunk, trying to get him out of one of his moods. He just really annoys me, and the thing is, I don't think that he even cares that I did stay up until three in the morning talking to him.

[daxma]

Fangirl...i mean...Spunk *Shifty eye's*, From what i here you need to cut away from him now before it's too late.He's using a drinking problem to keep his friends just because he can't make new friends because of his attitude.If you continue to be his friend he'll continully take advantage of you and his other friends.
I know you might think it's harsh but he needs to make friends on his own and not to just clamp onto friends who no longer like him by using a drinking problem.If you don't get out of there now he'll be in your life forever.He'll be asking you for money when he goes broke,asking you to pick him up from the bar after he hit Johnny the barmen over the head with a bottle,asking you to come to his house when he needs someone to clean the puke off the floor of his Apartment/Flat when he's on the couch sick from alchol posioning.This might seem farfetched in the short term but if you look at the future properly that is what will happen if you don't break away.Once he see's that you won't crawl back to help him his alchol problem he'll stop acting the Dope and stop drinking.

This might seem harsh but if look at the reality in the future this makes sense.Break away from him now before it's too late.

[PAW]

It depends how many chances he has used up. if it's first offense to you, i'd give him another chance if not tell him, being someones friend means you have to respect them more, and if he doesn' get that forget him.

[Repliku]

If he's drunk when you talk to him...drinking is no excuse. He can understand you even then. I'd also slip it to him that alcohol is a depressant and so all of his problems are only amplified because he's being an idiot and drinking to try to get rid of them. That has never worked for anyone. Drinking isn't bad for someone who isn't down on their luck emoing constantly. It is bad for those who use it as a way of 'coping'. He's wasting your time and hurting himself willingly. I hope you can break the chains here and don't let him guilt you. He's doing this to himself and you don't have to go down with him. Maybe what you do will make him see that he has to value others more and stop being so selfish, because really, that's all this is.

[daxma]

It depends how many chances he has used up. if it's first offense to you, i'd give him another chance if not tell him, being someones friend means you have to respect them more, and if he doesn' get that forget him.
By what we hear it's more than his first offense,it's like, atleast his second.

If he's drunk when you talk to him...drinking is no excuse. He can understand you even then. I'd also slip it to him that alcohol is a depressant and so all of his problems are only amplified because he's being an idiot and drinking to try to get rid of them. That has never worked for anyone. Drinking isn't bad for someone who isn't down on their luck emoing constantly. It is bad for those who use it as a way of 'coping'. He's wasting your time and hurting himself willingly. I hope you can break the chains here and don't let him guilt you. He's doing this to himself and you don't have to go down with him. Maybe what you do will make him see that he has to value others more and stop being so selfish, because really, that's all this is.Repliku, by what i see this guy is actually drinking just to keep his friends through pity.It's kind of like emotional black mail.This guy is making it so that he guilts his friends out of breaking away from him.There is something with depression but i'd say that this only happens when he feels that what is close to him e.g; his friends, slip away from him.He's basically pulling his and spunk down to the abyss of depression and clean up duty,when he messes up or gets drunk or gets sick in later years.We might say to break it off but it is supposed to be hard and spunk has to do it so what i want to say spunk is that you shouldn't feel guilty and you most tell those he calls friends this too because obviously they feel as you do from what you tell us.If he goes back on the drink tell his parents and if you can see if their an AA near by that he can go to.He's using that drinking problem to keep you and his friends which is not right.

[Spunk Ransom (:]

By what we hear it's more than his first offense,it's like, atleast his second.

Repliku, by what i see this guy is actually drinking just to keep his friends through pity.It's kind of like emotional black mail.This guy is making it so that he guilts his friends out of breaking away from him.There is something with depression but i'd say that this only happens when he feels that what is close to him e.g; his friends, slip away from him.He's basically pulling his and spunk down to the abyss of depression and clean up duty,when he messes up or gets drunk or gets sick in later years.We might say to break it off but it is supposed to be hard and spunk has to do it so what i want to say spunk is that you shouldn't feel guilty and you most tell those he calls friends this too because obviously they feel as you do from what you tell us.If he goes back on the drink tell his parents and if you can see if their an AA near by that he can go to.He's using that drinking problem to keep you and his friends which is not right.

Well, according to him, he has like the worst relationship ever with his parents, and honestly he has told me that they didn't care that he is doing it. Which I don't know if that is the truth or not because he lies ALL THE TIME. And as you said about the offenses, it is up to atlease twenty, and I am not exaggerating, he probably has even more than that.

[P]

Hmm.

Tell him to give up either the drink, or you.

That way, whatever happens will be his fault, and the ball will be in his court.

[daxma]

Well, according to him, he has like the worst relationship ever with his parents, and honestly he has told me that they didn't care that he is doing it. Which I don't know if that is the truth or not because he lies ALL THE TIME. And as you said about the offenses, it is up to atlease twenty, and I am not exaggerating, he probably has even more than that.Break Away from him before it's too late,you in your twenties and cleaning up his puke because he has a hangover and he hit the poor barman over the head with his friends guiness bottle.You need to break away and tell his other so called friends.Don't feel guilty about doing it either.

[LongAndRandomUserNameFTW]

Just...let it go...if you are feeling he is being a jerk, stay away from him.

[Repliku]

By what we hear it's more than his first offense,it's like, atleast his second.

Repliku, by what i see this guy is actually drinking just to keep his friends through pity.It's kind of like emotional black mail.This guy is making it so that he guilts his friends out of breaking away from him.There is something with depression but i'd say that this only happens when he feels that what is close to him e.g; his friends, slip away from him.He's basically pulling his and spunk down to the abyss of depression and clean up duty,when he messes up or gets drunk or gets sick in later years.We might say to break it off but it is supposed to be hard and spunk has to do it so what i want to say spunk is that you shouldn't feel guilty and you most tell those he calls friends this too because obviously they feel as you do from what you tell us.If he goes back on the drink tell his parents and if you can see if their an AA near by that he can go to.He's using that drinking problem to keep you and his friends which is not right.

I agree with you which is pretty much what I was saying. He's depressed and needs to be just told out straight that he's doing the wrong things and if he cannot clean himself up he's not worth the emotional baggage because he's only hurting himself. I do agree that the best idea here is to tell him straight out that he's basically destroying his life and things are only made worse because of his drinking habit which he uses as an escape. The best idea then probably is to get away from the guy and do something else until, if ever, he makes honest attempts to clean up his life.

Also, yes, if he's drinking ridiculously, his parents might have a right to know what he's doing. Of course, if he has problems with them, that may not be a good approach but he obviously has to help himself before anyone at all can help him. If he's unwilling to do that and just is going to treat people bad, there are just times in your life you have to let someone follow his path and do what he's going to do. Otherwise he will take you down too. It's a wretched position to be in but he's clearly doing nothing for you to make the friendship meaningful and instead treats you bad and then turns it around as if you are an angel there to save him. You didn't ask for such a responsibility and he needs to understand that his life is his own to make or break himself. I am sorry you are in such a predicament and hope things get better for you, spunk.

[Spunk Ransom (:]

Thank you, all of you. I am trying to keep away from him. That kind of sounds bad, but I decided, like you all said, that it's not worth it really. I just can't take him any more, so I will try to continue to keep clear. Once again, thank you all very much. You helped me see what I needed to do very cleary, and for that I will always be greatful. (: