Everybody loves Drama!

[Ashwa <3]

I decided to post here and get some kind of feedback because I honestly don't know what to do. And I would love suggestions.

So here's the situation:

As most of you know, I'm in a long distance relationship. (Quite happy in it too).But then, I have this really close guy friend. Like, hes my best friend and I tell him everything. Him and I are really close friends.

However...

I was recently told by one of his friends that he really likes and that I should date him. Because he's a nice guy and would be good for me.(And since he has no clue about LC, this didn't faze him at all) I just stared at him and said something along the lines of, "No, its not gonna happen"

So. What do I do? Is his friend just joking around? And even if he's not, how am I supposed to tell him I'm not interested in a nice way, yet we're still close friends? Because I really don't want to hurt him, but I'm not exactly experienced in this area.

[Azure Flame]

Just tell him you're seeing someone else. I'm sure he'll understand.

[Ashwa <3]

Just tell him you're seeing someone else. I'm sure he'll understand.

But he already knows. I'm sorry to complain about what seem like a simple thing, but I really don't know how to tell him.

[Azure Flame]

But he already knows. I'm sorry to complain about what seem like a simple thing, but I really don't know how to tell him.

Hmm, if it were me I'd just politely tell him I'm not interested. But you need to say it as nicely as you can. His feelings might get hurt a little, that is inevitable. But he'll get over it, most guys do. I know what it's like to be turned down by a girl you like, it hurts a little but then you just move on. I'm sure he'll be the same.

[Ashwa <3]

Hmm, if it were me I'd just politely tell him I'm not interested. But you need to say it as nicely as you can. His feelings might get hurt a little, that is inevitable. But he'll get over it, most guys do. I know what it's like to be turned down by a girl you like, it hurts a little but then you just move on. I'm sure he'll be the same.

I would hope he would move on. And I really don't want to hurt his feelings. But I mean, what exactly do I say? "I'm not interested?" How is that supposed to be said nicely?
D:

[Azure Flame]

I would hope he would move on. And I really don't want to hurt his feelings. But I mean, what exactly do I say? "I'm not interested?" How is that supposed to be said nicely?
D:

Well, no matter what you do, his feelings will be hurt. As for how you say it, I'm not sure. Maybe you could say "I'm sorry, but I don't like you that way." or something like that.

[Ashwa <3]

Well, no matter what you do, his feelings will be hurt. As for how you say it, I'm not sure. Maybe you could say "I'm sorry, but I don't like you that way." or something like that.

I dunno. Saying it like that kinda seems blunt and just....

Ugh, I just really don't want to hurt him even though I know I'm going to. =/

[Deathsight44]

Small world. Very similure situation goin on with me, except I got my heart crushed after learning how good a friend I am to the chick that I like, especially when on the very same day she starts talken about how much she likes this one guy in your school, who you absolutely wish was you.......


There's no nice way to put it. Sorry, but I'm still crushed, and she doesn't even know I like her. I hate to say it, but no matter what, he's really gonna be crushed

[Azure Flame]

I dunno. Saying it like that kinda seems blunt and just....

Ugh, I just really don't want to hurt him even though I know I'm going to. =/

Sorry I can't be more helpful. I've always been the one rejected, I've never done the rejecting.

[Ashwa <3]

Sorry I can't be more helpful. I've always been the one rejected, I've never done the rejecting.

I've never done the rejecting either. Which is why I would love help.

And deathsight, is there no way to avoid hurting him?

[Azure Flame]

I've never done the rejecting either. Which is why I would love help.

And deathsight, is there no way to avoid hurting him?

Unfortunately, you can't avoid hurting him. I've been rejected enough times to know that. But he'll recover eventually. They always do.

[Deathsight44]

Ashwa, right now I feel like an empty void, as if my heart has been grinded to bits, and a will to beat someone up for the hell of beating them up. (dont get me wrong. I would never do that unless I had to though of course)

It depends on how much he really likes you. If you guys are honostly best friends in your mind, then in his mind, he's thinking "God, she's perfect for me. I think I'm in love", or something like that.

No matter what, you'll end up hurting him. Unless you think there is a chance later that you'll end up being out of this long distance relationship and then would end up coming to him, I doubt you can say anything that won't make him feel like the empty black hole that I am right now. sry :(

[Ashwa <3]

Ashwa, right now I feel like an empty void, as if my heart has been grinded to bits, and a will to beat someone up for the hell of beating them up. (dont get me wrong. I would never do that unless I had to though of course)

It depends on how much he really likes you. If you guys are honostly best friends in your mind, then in his mind, he's thinking "God, she's perfect for me. I think I'm in love", or something like that.

No matter what, you'll end up hurting him. Unless you think there is a chance later that you'll end up being out of this long distance relationship and then would end up coming to him, I doubt you can say anything that won't make him feel like the empty black hole that I am right now. sry :(

That really doesn't help ): Even if it may be true. That just makes me feel like I'll be the shittiest person alive. Because I'm definitely not ending the long distance relationship so it seems like I'll just be saying, "You've got no chance." Which may be the truth, but it's so hurtful.

[Deathsight44]

Does he go on this site?


And I know it doesn't help. Such a horrible situation, since, unlike with your situation, it isn't like I am just gonna reveal my feelings to the girl I like cuz if I did then that would only add confusion.
Do ya know if he plans on asking you out or something?

[Ashwa <3]

Does he go on this site?


And I know it doesn't help. Such a horrible situation, since, unlike with your situation, it isn't like I am just gonna reveal my feelings to the girl I like cuz if I did then that would only add confusion.
Do ya know if he plans on asking you out or something?

He doesn't go to this site. And I don't know if he plans on it or not. But if he does. I wanna know what to say and not just be all rude and such. D:

[Deathsight44]

If he asks you out, and you turn him down, then he would be absolutely crushed. I hate to say it, but I would honostly be in a huge state of depression if I asked out the girl that I liked after being so close with her, just to end up getting turned down. I probably wouldn't even show up to school for a few days......

now, by a best friend, do you really mean that you tell him practicly everything?

[Ashwa <3]

If he asks you out, and you turn him down, then he would be absolutely crushed. I hate to say it, but I would honostly be in a huge state of depression if I asked out the girl that I liked after being so close with her, just to end up getting turned down. I probably wouldn't even show up to school for a few days......

now, by a best friend, do you really mean that you tell him practicly everything?

Yeah, pretty much I tell him everything

[Deathsight44]

Ouch. This is a really rough situation. Not for nothen, but your friend should've kept his/her mouth shut, becuz this is going to cause nothing but trouble for both you and him.

THe only thing that is getting me through it is that I'd do whatever it takes to make the girl I like smile, even if it means I just stand by and let some other guy have him.

The dude that you like though on the other hand, idk what his train of thought is, know what I'm sayen?

[ArchVice]

I think it would be best to draw the line in a firm but assertive manner. Just let him know how you feel and tell him how much it would hurt if he crosses that line.

[Repliku]

Others are right in saying that rejection hurts. However, if he really is a -friend- and not just there because he's 'in love' with you, then he's going to understand.

What I'd say would be something like this. 'I am sorry but my feelings for you are that you are a great friend and I love the person I am in a relationship with and am not willing to break that off. I still want your friendship but we can't have more.'

Something like that is not so 'harsh' but it gets the point across that you are serious about your online relationship and yet you still want him to be your friend. I hope that helps you somewhat with what to say. In the end, the best thing to do is be straight up with him, but yes, regard his feelings. If he's really insistent you may have to be even more blunt and then come out with the 'I'm not interested in you in that way.' deal, but I can see why you'd want to be less harsh at first. Rejection though is a part of life so please don't feel so bad about it. You have to go with your heart on this and if you are more drawn to the online person, that is how it is. These things happen to people often and it's always best to deal with it straight and early on rather than let it linger. Good luck and hope this helped.

[Pistol Schoolboy]

Others are right in saying that rejection hurts. However, if he really is a -friend- and not just there because he's 'in love' with you, then he's going to understand.

What I'd say would be something like this. 'I am sorry but my feelings for you are that you are a great friend and I love the person I am in a relationship with and am not willing to break that off. I still want your friendship but we can't have more.'

Something like that is not so 'harsh' but it gets the point across that you are serious about your online relationship and yet you still want him to be your friend. I hope that helps you somewhat with what to say. In the end, the best thing to do is be straight up with him, but yes, regard his feelings. If he's really insistent you may have to be even more blunt and then come out with the 'I'm not interested in you in that way.' deal, but I can see why you'd want to be less harsh at first. Rejection though is a part of life so please don't feel so bad about it. You have to go with your heart on this and if you are more drawn to the online person, that is how it is. These things happen to people often and it's always best to deal with it straight and early on rather than let it linger. Good luck and hope this helped.

Again, you take the words right out of my mouth.

It's more of just, that you have to reject in a half and half on an angry emotion, and a nice emotion. Quite like what HV said above. Either way, I bet he would understand.

[Peyton]

I had just the same problem with my very best friend, except that I wasn't dating anyone.

It was so easy to notice that he was nuts about me(still is), but I told him that I really valued him as my best friend, and that I couldn't date him because I didn't have that kind of feelings for him. Of course I said I'm sorry, but still got the message trough. And he respected that. And he's still my best friend, and still care a lot about me, even though he might be a bit oncomming at times. Then I just tell him he's going a bit overboard, and he respects that as well and stops.


Blaaaah, hope that helped a bit D: And I agree with repli- - - L

[Deathsight44]

I think it would be best to draw the line in a firm but assertive manner. Just let him know how you feel and tell him how much it would hurt if he crosses that line.
But she is trying not to hurt him though........

Others are right in saying that rejection hurts. However, if he really is a -friend- and not just there because he's 'in love' with you, then he's going to understand.

Lmao. You obviously have never been in love, have ya....


All I am saying is that ya don't know how he will react. It depends on what his emotions are, and some what of what his morals and values are. ya know

[Ashwa <3]

Others are right in saying that rejection hurts. However, if he really is a -friend- and not just there because he's 'in love' with you, then he's going to understand.

What I'd say would be something like this. 'I am sorry but my feelings for you are that you are a great friend and I love the person I am in a relationship with and am not willing to break that off. I still want your friendship but we can't have more.'

Something like that is not so 'harsh' but it gets the point across that you are serious about your online relationship and yet you still want him to be your friend. I hope that helps you somewhat with what to say. In the end, the best thing to do is be straight up with him, but yes, regard his feelings. If he's really insistent you may have to be even more blunt and then come out with the 'I'm not interested in you in that way.' deal, but I can see why you'd want to be less harsh at first. Rejection though is a part of life so please don't feel so bad about it. You have to go with your heart on this and if you are more drawn to the online person, that is how it is. These things happen to people often and it's always best to deal with it straight and early on rather than let it linger. Good luck and hope this helped.

Again, you take the words right out of my mouth.

It's more of just, that you have to reject in a half and half on an angry emotion, and a nice emotion. Quite like what HV said above. Either way, I bet he would understand.

I had just the same problem with my very best friend, except that I wasn't dating anyone.

It was so easy to notice that he was nuts about me(still is), but I told him that I really valued him as my best friend, and that I couldn't date him because I didn't have that kind of feelings for him. Of course I said I'm sorry, but still got the message trough. And he respected that. And he's still my best friend, and still care a lot about me, even though he might be a bit oncomming at times. Then I just tell him he's going a bit overboard, and he respects that as well and stops.


Blaaaah, hope that helped a bit D: And I agree with repli- - - L

Thanks guys, and I really hope he understands. Thanks for the help on how to say it.

=]

[Mehgahtraun]

Just admit that you are seeing someone else, I wouldn't care. Or you could dump him and a day later, hook up with someone else.

[Destined]

Ok, Ashwa. If it were me, i'd say that you are flattered, but that you are in a long distance relationship that is going well and you'd rather remain friends than jeopradize what you both have going for you.

Don't lie to guys. We may act like it's no big deal, but it usually isn't. If you are upfront and completely honest with this guy, then you owe that much to him at least right?

[ArchVice]

But she is trying not to hurt him though........


Rejection tends to sting 9 times out of 10.

[Repliku]

Rejection tends to sting 9 times out of 10.

Rejection hurts on its own. Just being told 'no' on any topic really can annoy or hurt someone. You don't have to come off as a jerk when first telling someone. It's if the person doesn't get the obvious 'no, I'm seeing someone else' or 'no, I'm not interested' thing that you have to get downright assertive.

The key really in the end though is to make sure that you are clear about it that you don't want to date the person. That way he's not holding out and hoping but at the same time once he's over the word 'no', you can both move forward. Of course, some people take the word 'no' worse than others, but that's on them. Most of the time people get over it quick unless they are really negative sorts of people.

[robert the yogurt]

Tell your best friends that your dating somebody else and tell him if anything happens between you and your date you MIGHT give him a call.

[ArchVice]

Rejection hurts on its own. Just being told 'no' on any topic really can annoy or hurt someone. You don't have to come off as a jerk when first telling someone. It's if the person doesn't get the obvious 'no, I'm seeing someone else' or 'no, I'm not interested' thing that you have to get downright assertive.

The key really in the end though is to make sure that you are clear about it that you don't want to date the person. That way he's not holding out and hoping but at the same time once he's over the word 'no', you can both move forward. Of course, some people take the word 'no' worse than others, but that's on them. Most of the time people get over it quick unless they are really negative sorts of people.

That's what I was telling her earlier. Then they got into the sensitivity thing.