Target Practice!

Oh, God - She Livez! XDDD

Meh... I had something to say, but I forgot what it was. XD

I'm just happy to actually be doing something again. ^-^;

As always, I hope ya enjoy! >P

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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Chapter two: Proposition​

Axel groaned, sitting up. That was HORRIBLE! he thought, brushing himself off. First he gets me thinking he's gonna… have his way with me, then he hurls me outta a window on the second story… THEN he starts shooting at me… Good thing he missed, though…

Of course… he had no reason to believe that if Xigbar had REALLY been aiming for him, he would have been long dead.

He started to rub his head, sighing. Damn...! Do I really have to work with this mad man for… Huh?

He pulled his hand away from the back of his head and pulled it up to his face, blinking. He was staring at a few red strands of his own hair.

His eyes widened. Slowly, he turned his head around to stare at the place where he’d been lying just seconds before. He had nothing to look at but heaps of his perfect, red hair in a pile. He blinked, and turned to stare at his hand once more, his whole mind completely blank.

Suddenly, the air around him blasted up to the point where the even Sahara Desert couldn't compete with its heat in the hottest of all summers. And it was the middle of February.

Smoke billowed around Axel; the hair in his hand caught on fire and was incinerated in a matter of seconds. He balled the hand up into a fist and jumped up, his eyes narrowed to slits.

“He shall pay…” the redhead hissed, stalking back to the entrance of the castle. He knew he could teleport back into Xiggy’s room any time...

But he needed time to think about how painful the payback would be…

******************************​

Luxord stared at the door to Xigbar’s room, an eyebrow arched in confusion. All he had heard was… a whole lot of screaming. And not the kind he’d expect, either – the terrified sort.

He tilted his head to the side, quizzically. What the… Xiggy can’t really be THAT scarred up… can he? He stood up, and pressed his ear to the side of the door. Now, there was nothing but an eerie silence. His brow crinkled slightly. …Da heck…?! What’s going on in there?!

He opened the door slightly, glancing around. “Xiggy…? Hate to intrude but…” He blinked, looking around.

The room was completely empty.

“Okay… Now I’m REALLY confused…” Luxord muttered, stepping into the center of the room, and scratching his head. He began wandering around the room, looking under the bed and stuff like that. “Yoo-hoo…!~ Xiggy, where are ya man? XIIIII—?!”

The man yelped as a pair of hands shot from the closet, and clamped over his mouth, yanking him in. The closet door slammed shut.

Luxord let out a muffled scream, and was about to break free, when he was shushed by a quiet, “Shhhhhhhhhh………!” Xigbar, no doubt.

Xigbar… His Xigbar… alone with Luxord… inside a dark closet… with no one around… alone… in the dark… Cramped space…

It was almost too much for his feeble mind to comprehend. He stumbled a bit, feeling lightheaded with giddiness. Oh…!~ He’s SO romantic…!~

The hands around his mouth loosened slightly. “Are you calm…?” Xigbar whispered anxiously.

Luxord nodded, still grinning foolishly. “Heh… It’s daaaaaark…!~” he cooed, much too loudly for the Freeshooter’s taste.
Xigbar slapped his hands over the blonde’s mouth again. “SHUDDAP! If you’re not quiet, then… HE might hear you…”

Luxord blinked, returning back to his senses. “…Who?” he asked, removing the Freeshooter’s hands from his mouth.
“Axel…” Xigbar shuddered with fear. “He’s… coming… I can feel him…!”

******************************​

Axel stalked through the castle, the blistering heat and black fog following his every move. The air around him shimmered. His whole body looked tense, and his eyes blazed like the very fire he controlled.

But the most frightening thing about him… was the expression on his face.

He didn't have one. And that’s exactly what made him seem even more menacing.

Demyx, who was walking past, happened to notice his strange hair. He snorted a little… then began cracking up, not picking up on the aura that surrounded Axel. “Yo, AX! What happened?! Did you get your hair cut by a blind man with a weed-whacker or somethin’?!”

Axel’s eye twitched violently just once. Without him thinking, stopping, or even looking at the boy, Demyx immediately burst into flames.

The boy screamed, and tried summoning his sitar so that he could douse the flames with some cool, refreshing water… only to find that it was completely wrecked! “WHAT?!” he screeched. “NO!!! How could this happen?! AGGGHHH!!!” He threw himself on the ground, desperately rolling around, trying to seek relief from the pain. “HEEEELP!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!”

Axel, not even able to enjoy the torture of his victim, continued walking, a faint, yet distinguishing sneer forming on his face.

Just wait until I get my hands on you, Xigbar, ya rotten…!

******************************​

Luxord crinkled his brow a little. “What…? Axel?! But… I thought he was supposed to be serving you – not trying to KILL you!”
“Yeah, um… See, ABOUT that…”

Xigbar smiled painfully. “I… Actually kinda used him as my own personal target for target practice, and ended up giving him a few… um… inches off the top…” He swiped his hand over his hair to help illustrate it more.

Luxord’s face turned to one of complete shock. “W-WHAT?! Y…You… You sniped his hair off?!”
Xigbar gulped, staring up pitifully at Luxord, and nodded.

“XIGBAR!” Luxord grabbed the Freeshooter by the shoulders, and shook him, hands trembling. “Do you even KNOW what happens to people when they mess up Axel’s hair?! Don’t you remember that one time where Marluxia accidentally chopped off part of it in that gardening accident?!”

Xigbar nodded again, a sick feeling forming in the pit of his stomach. “Y… Yeah… It took us WEEKS to get him out of that tree.”
“PRECISELY!!!”

Xigbar moaned, dropping to his knees. “Let’s face it…!” he whimpered, hands shaking. “I’m a dead man…! I might as well do it now and get it done with…”

He gulped, crossed his chest, and began praying with a cracking voice, “I’m sorry, Saix, for making Xemnas brand you on your face… I’m sorry, Luxord for tricking you into letting me borrow munny so many times, you loveable, blonde ******bag, you…”
Luxord grinned. HE CALLED ME LOVEABLE!!!!! He’s SO charming…!
“I’m sorry, Demyx, for breaking your sitar...” Xigbar continued, sniffling. “… Buuuut you don’t know about that yet…”

BOOM! CRASH!

Agonized screaming in the distance.

Luxord’s head whipped up. “WHATTHEHECKISTHAT?!” he shrieked.
“It’s HIM!” Xigbar cried. He buried his face into his hands, sobbing. “Oh, God – THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!! I can’t die! I’m too PRETTY to die!”

Luxord grabbed his arm, and heaved the stunned man up to his feet. “C’mon – we can’t stay here! It’s the first place he’ll look!”
“But where else am I supposed to go?!” Xigbar wailed. Beads of sweat were starting to form on his forehead… He tugged uncomfortably at his collar. Is it hot in here, or is it just me…?
Luxord sighed in exasperation. “I know a place where we can go – now c’mon!”

They portalled off with just a few seconds to spare.

The door burst open as Axel kicked it down. He glanced around, growling. Where IS that punk…?!

******************************​

“Oh, nice, Luxord. NICE. I would have NEVER thought about bringing me to YOUR room – he’ll NEVER find us here! Jee – why didn’t I think of that?”
“Hush, you – I didn’t see YOU coming up with any brilliant ideas for escape, either. Now come here…”

Xigbar let himself be lead around the room by the arm as Luxord searched for a worthwhile hiding place. He looked up as they passed a door labeled “Smelly, dirty gym shorts – OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!”

He stopped. “Hey – what is this? The closet or somethin’? Why don’t I try in here – Axel would never—”
“WHAT?! Oh, nonono – I-I can’t let you – c’mon let’s try over HERE!” Luxord blabbered, trying to push Xigbar in another direction.
“Wait – WHY?! C’mon, Luxord – I can take the smell… I hope,” he added under his breath. “Besides, the smell will probably be NOTHING compared to what Axel’ll do to me if—”
“NOOOO!!!!! Now… Let’s try under the bed instead, huh?”

With that, Luxord shoved an extremely perplexed Xigbar under the bed, with a slight, “Phew…”

He collapsed on top of it, wiping invisible sweat off his forehead.

That… was too close for comfort…

******************************​

Axel grunted, flinging the other half of the man’s bed away, angrily. That’s, like, the fifth time I’ve searched this room…! He’s NOT here! Damnit…! He sat down, with a small sigh, running his fingers through his ruined hair.

Xigbar’s room was completely totaled. The paint on the walls was blackened and peeling off in huge flakes. The mirror was cracked; the TV was wrecked; and his computer had been melted to nothing but a puddle of plastic and now-useless metal – not to mention his radio and the game stations. The bed had been smashed and tossed around the room and the mattress and pillows were stabbed through viciously. Now there was nothing but pure white, downy feathers floating around the room.

Axel was starting to get impatient… It crossed his mind that MAYBE Xigbar was hiding outside of the castle. But, no, Xigbar wouldn’t do that. He knew Xigbar didn't want to die in an unfamiliar place.

And Xigbar WOULD die – there was no doubt about that.

Just thinking about what had occurred before made him furious all over again! He growled, body absolutely trembling with anger as he clenched his fists again. The downy feathers floating around literally burst into flames from intense heat after a few seconds.

He forced himself to calm down… At least for now. But he needed to focus on FINDING Xigbar before pain could be inflicted!

Now think… Who would care enough to give Xigbar a safe haven in his time of need…? Axel wondered, stroking his chin. Well… Xemnas was always too busy… There’d be NO WAY Xaldin would help the idiot out after what had taken place a few moments before… And Luxord…

Axel’s eyes flashed. A cruel smirk fluttered onto his lips. Luxord… of course…

******************************​

Xigbar sneezed. “AH-CHMPF! Gah... Luxord, you have dust bunnies under here the size of my fist!” he complained. “I’m allergic of dust, ya know…”
“Oh, give it a bloody rest before I throw you the hell out…” Luxord sighed, flipping through an old magazine.

Silence.

“Hey, um… Luxord…?” Xigbar asked meekly.
“What is it now…?” Luxord grumbled.
“Well, uh…”

The Freeshooter gulped, and whispered. “I…If I don’t make it through this alive… I just wanted you to know…”
This snatched Luxord’s attention almost instantly. He sat up, blushing slightly. “W…What is it…?”
“I just wanted to let you know that…”

Xigbar paused, then let it all come out in a huge rush of words. “IJUSTWANTEDTOLETYOUKNOWTHATYOUCOULDHAVEALLOFMYCDS!!!!!”

Luxord blinked.

“D’YA MEAN IT?!?!?!” He’s SO generous…!~

Hey… It wasn’t what he’d been hoping for… and it wasn’t much, but he’d take ANYTHING if it was coming from Xigbar!

Before Xigbar could reply, the door burst open, and a huge surge of roasting air blew in behind it. Xigbar gave a little, “EEP!!!” trying to press himself further under the bed. It’s him!

******************************​

Axel kicked open the door of the gambler, snarling. He was growing even MORE impatient… Maybe the Freeshooter HAD escaped somewhere else! But, no, he saw something… Someone inside!

“XIGBAR!!!” He whipped out his chackrams and the temperature of the room shot up even higher, making the man wince.

“Oh, wait…” he took a closer look, and then sighed. “Luxord…” He desperately tried to force the temperature back down. “You haven't, by any chance… seen Xiggy around here, have you…?”

His voice was emotionless, yet strained as if he was trying to keep himself from hurling off at any moment, and his face remained calm, despite the wild look in his eyes. He obviously wanted to fry somebody. And we all know who THAT was…!~

Oh, sh*t… Luxord was already humming “Taps” in his mind at the sight. He cleared his throat, making sure that he made no eye-contact with the man’s strange hair, and said calmly, “No… I haven’t actually… What’d he do this time?”

Mistake.

Axel blinked. “W…What’d he do? What did he DO?! Isn’t it OBVIOUS?!?! LOOK, you f*cking IDIOT!!!”

Oh yeah. Xigbar had outdone himself this time. Axel’s hair was a jagged mess. Most of his hair was completely sheered off, but the places where Xiggy’s bullets didn’t hit spiked straight up. It freakin’ looked like a huge monster had literally bent down and bit off a huge chunk of it! In the back, his hair was loaded with dirt and dust, and stuck up straight in all directions in complete disarray.

Axel’s hands were shaking with rage again. No matter how much he tried to keep himself from losing control, the anger kept on finding ways to seep out.

Luxord tugged uncomfortably at his cloak collar, wincing. “Hey, man – don’t take it out on me! I didn’t bloody do anything wrong!”

Axel sighed, drooping his shoulders a bit. “Yeah…” he grumbled. “Just…” He took a step inside, glancing around a bit. “Would you let me take a peek around the room first?” he asked in a voice that wasn’t really asking.

Luxord jumped up, trying not to show his desperation. “Ummmm…! No – I don’t think that’saverygoodideapal – hehhehhehh…!”
“Why not?” Axel asked, eyes flashing. “You’ve got nothing to hide, right?” His eyes flickered to a room saying something about dirty boxers. Oh, please – does he REALLY think that’s going to work?!

He stalked over to it, growling. “He’s in HERE, isn’t he?!” he growled, reaching for knob.
“N-NO! He’s isn’t – I swear to God!” Luxord screamed. “Just a couple of dirty clothes that haven’t been washed in weeks…! Hehheh…” he blinked. It was obvious Axel didn’t believe him. “S-STAND BACK!” he cried, shielding the door with his body.

Axel shoved him away roughly. “SHUT UP!” He grabbed the knob, and twisted. “F*CK! It’s locked! I’ll have to kick it down then!”
He reared back, about to let his foot fly, when something cold and metallic was pressed against his temple.

Click…

Luxord growled, his eyes narrowing to slits. “Damnit, Axel – I don’t want to have to kill you, but I will if you don’t step away from the f*ckin’ door, and I mean NOW!” Luxord snarled pressing the gun harder against Axel’s head.

Axel growled, and was about to retaliate… When he heard something from beneath the bed.

“AH-CHMPF!”

“What was that?” he asked, eyes narrowing back on Luxord.
“Uh… um… My… stomach?”

The strange noise came again: “AH-CHMPF!”

“Oh, I see what this is!” Axel snarled going back to the bed. “You were trying to distract my attention, weren’t you?!”
“Uh…” Luxord scratched his head with the barrel of the gun. “… Sure – let’s go with that. Wait – so does this mean you DON’T know that Xigbar’s under the bed?”

Ah, Luxord… We love you.

Axel dropped to the ground, and began fishing under the bed with one hand. Luxord gasped, instantly realizing his mistake. “N-NO! That’s not what I meant! I meant… um… does this mean that… You don’t know that Xigbar is, um… At his grandmother’s… uncle’s… um…”

“Smooth move, Blondie…” Xigbar grunted as he was pulled to his feet by his hair. He looked over at Axel, who was literally fuming with rage. His teeth almost looked like they’d break from him baring them so hard.

He gulped, smiling nervously. “A…Axel…! Hey, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal o’ mine…!” he chirped out as cheerily as one could when scared out of their wits. “How’s things hangin’…?”

Axel’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Do you see what you’ve done to my hair…?”
“Uh…” Xigbar scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “Yeah – about that—”
“Great. Then you know why you must die.”

Axel pulled his arm back, and just as soon as he was going to chuck the chackram at Xigbar, the Freeshooter fell to his knees, sobbing.

He clasped his hands together and gasped out, “Please…! PLEASE dun kill me!” He sobbed dramatically. “I… I’m sorry—”
“SORRY won’t fix my hair!”
“No! No, it won’t!” The Freeshooter sniffed a little. “But I who can!”
“Forget it. Your ass fries, and it fries now.” Axel lifted his chackram again.
“But-but-but! If you kill me now, you might never get your hair looking good again!”

There was silence as the redhead considered this. “Luxord!” Xiggy called out desperately. “Back me up on this!” Axel turned expectantly at the gambler.

“Um…” Luxord shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “What he said…?” God – I shouldn’t have skipped speech class when I was younger… he thought, rubbing his head awkwardly. Xiggy’s gonna HATE me after this…

Not much, but he’d take it. Xigbar’s eyes continued begging Axel for forgiveness. It continued to have no effect. “But…” Axel said slowly, “killing you will make me feel better. NOT killing you won’t help my hair either.”
“But-But I TOLD you I’d get someone to do it again if you let me live!” Xiggy cried back, panicked.

Axel’s sharp emerald eyes burned into his. “Who…?” he asked suspiciously.
Xigbar looked down, twiddling his fingers.
“TELL ME!!!” Axel screeched.
The Freeshooter yelped and stuttered, “X-Xaldin!”

“WHAT?! Forget it! He’s the reason I’m in this mess NOW!” Axel hissed.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! I know! But he can do hair real good!”
“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE’LL DO MINE?!?!” Axel roared, his eyes blazing.

Xiggy squealed, managed to choke out, “I’ll get him to do it! I’ll get him to do it!” and started shaking, tears streaming out of his eyes.

Axel glared at him for a few more agonizing seconds, and then sighed, “Fine. But if my hair isn’t looking good again by this time tomorrow, your *ss is TOAST.” With that, the redhead stomped off into his room, slammed it, and locked it loudly.

Xigbar was still on his knees, completely still, except for his hands which were still shaking slightly. He stared into space for a few seconds.

Suddenly, everything went black, and with a little groan, he went limp and collapsed on the ground.

K.O.; round two goes to Axel!

To be continued…

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Finished in a hurry - nighty night! X.x;

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.

 

SHE'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!! 8D

OMG I loled SO hard....

Actually I'm still laughing and I finished reading it like, 2 minutes ago...​

 

Thanks oogles, Cookie Monstar. XD

I was trying to get it up on dA last night, too, but alas, my bedtime came quicker than I thought it would... v-v;

 

Xdd

Lawl, I can see you haven't lost your touch Foxxeh. Poor Xiggy... XD

 

Hehheh...

Seems I haven't. :sweatdrop:

It felt good just being able to let the words flow again. ^-^ The Christmas Special was getting too... chunky. I'll finish it next Christmas. XDDD

 

poor xiggy XD
hey, is roxy gonna be in this?

 

Oh, trust me. XD

You'll see a lot of members in this one. <3

 

sweet
what about riku? *puppy eyes*

 

No Riku. Sorry. >P

 

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
*glomps riku*

 

Sorry, but my fanfics are solely based on the Organization. =3

Riku got more than enough screentime - I'm trying to bring out the secret, ******ed life of the Organization XIII who I think deserved their own game completely apart from the Heartless. >.>; *is still mad about that*

Fair enough? ^-^;

 

*sigh*
yes, i suppose ur right...
and 398/2 days (or whatever its called) is totally about the organization (granted, its not about the crack, but...)

 

But it hasn't come out yet...

GOD - I WANT A DS!!! *foamz at the mouth*

But, anyways, yeah. XD; I don't hate Riku or anything, I'm just... not as crazy about him as I am the Organization. So I'm going to focus more on them instead.

 

i have a DS *evil grin*

and i LUV riku! *glomps*
but the organization is cool too
i like demmy, axel, and roxy =D XD

 

*sigh* I figured as much. If you ask me, they're kinda over-rated, too...

Okay - not Demyx. XD; He's adorable *hugz him*

But, anyways, my aim is to get you to like ALL of the Organization. Not just the three\four (counting Zexion) most over-rated guys of them. To me, being a TRUE Organization fan is more than just screaming, "OMG! AXXY-CHAN! =D *SQUEE*" or "OMG! ROXXY-CHAN! =D *SQUEE*" or "OMG! DEMMY-CHAN! =D *SQUEE*" or "OMG! ZEXXY-CHAN! =D *SQUEE*" because I see it all the time, and it baffles me that these girls REALLY cosider themselves just... Organization fans. So I'm trying to give the over-looked members more showtime and more fans, and I'm starting it all with my favorite Organization character of them all: Xigbar The Freeshooter. XD He's a seriously awesome surfer-dude\pirate stuck in his mid-life crisis that I ever did see. X'D And I guarentee that if you took time enough to read all of my fanfics, you'd love him as much as I do if not more. =3

Get it?

 

but i DO like them all *squee*
axel, demmy, and roxy are just my favrits lolz
i can name them all, too:
mansex, sailor moon, spider-xiggy, demmy, roxy, axe-head, vexy, zexy, luxy, marly, lexi, xaldy, and larxine the crazy person
XD
(no garentee that theyre spelled right or in the correct order tho. lolz)

 

NOOOOOO! Demmy got incinerated T~T
This story has to be my most favourite ever!
9.9/10 :D

 

WEWT. Thankz, Homie! XD

*rolls eyes* Okay - fine. You win this round. XD

Curses... foiled again... <<>> *shifty eyez*

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
...ahem

 

I CAN'T BELIVE I MISSED THIS!! *Reads it*
Very very funny as usual.
"Does that mean you don't know Xigbars hiding under the bed?"
Luxord, as lovable as you are, THAT was one of the stupidest things you have ever done in your life.

I like all of the Orginization too, but Vexen is pretty creepy. *shudders* Xiggy is one of my favriotes too!

HUZZA FOR MIDLIFE CRISIS PIRATES!!!

By the way, when you said, 'Curses! Foilled again!' You sounded like Darstedly from Wacky Races. (Another thing I'm obssed with.)