Things To Do When You're Bored

-Wax the ceiling

-Rearrange political campaign signs

-Sharpen your teeth

-Play Houdini with one of your siblings

-Braid your dog's hair

-Clean and polish your belly button

-Water your dog...see if he grows

-Wash a tree

-Knight yourself

-Name your child Edsel

-Scare Stephen King

-Give your cat a mohawk

-Purr

-Mow your carpet

-Play Pat Boone records backwards

-Vacuum your lawn

-Whine

-Rake your carpet

-Re-elect Richard Nixon

-Critique "Three's Company"

-Listen to a painting

-Play with matches

-Buff your cat

-Race ferrets

-Paint your house...Day-Glo Orange

-Have a formal dinner at White Castle

-Read Homer in the original Greek

-Change your mind

-Change it back

-Learn Greek

-Watch the sun...see if it moves

-Stand on your head

-Stand on someone else's head

-Build a pyramid

-See how long you can stay awake

-See how long you can sleep

-Spit shine your Nikes

-Paint your teeth

-Wear a salad

-Speak with a forked tongue

-Get your dog braces

-Shave a shrub

-Have a proton fight

-Watch a car rust

-Quiver

-Rotate your carpet

-Learn to type...with your toes

-Set up your Christmas tree in April

-Buy the Brooklyn Bridge

-Be someone special

-Mail it to a friend

-Go back to square one

-Factor your social security number

-Take the fifth

-Memorize a series of random numbers

-Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages

-Join the Foreign Legion

-Learn Sanskrit

-Exist...existentially, of course

-Print counterfeit Confederate money

-Kick a cabbage

-Take a picture

-Sandpaper a mushroom

-Put it back

-Play solitaire...for cash

-Abuse your patio furniture

-Run for Pope

-Count to a million...fast

-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

-Commit seppuku...with a paper knife

-Revert

-Think shallow thoughts

-Sleep on a bed of nails

-Boil ice cream

-DON'T toss and turn

-Run around in squares

-Think of quadruple entendres

-Speak in acronyms

-Have your pillow X-rayed

-Drink straight shots...of water

-Calmly have a nervous breakdown

-Give your goldfish a perm

-Fly a brick

-Play tag...on 35W

-Exorcise a ghost

-Be blue

-Exercise a ghost

-Be red

-But don't be orange

-Paint stripes on a lake

-Ski Kansas

-Sleep in freefall

-Kill a Joule

-Test thin ice...with a pogo stick

-Apply for a unicorn hunting license

-Do a good job

-Crawl

-Invite the Mansons over for dinner

-Paint your windows

-Watch a watch until it stops

-Flash your goldfish

-Paint

-Smile

-Paint a smile

-Flirt with an evergreen

-Rotate your garden...daily

-Shoot a fire hydrant

-Pretend you're blind

-Apologize to it

-Plant a shoe

-Sweat

-Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil

-Turn

-Take your sofa for a walk

-Write a letter to Plato

-Mail it

-Start

-Stop

-Dial 911 and breathe heavily

-Go to a funeral...tell jokes

-Play the piano...with mittens on

-Starch your shoes

-Polish your Calvin's

-Contemplate a cockroach

-Get a dog to chase your car

-Investigate the Czar

-Let him catch it

-Form a political party

-Climb a sidewalk

-Have a political party

-Get diagonal...with a good friend

-Ride a loaf of bread

-Sharpen a carrot

-Interrogate a gerbil

-Annoy yourself

-Get mad at yourself

-Stop speaking to yourself

-Be a side effect

-Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley

-Duck

-Redecorate...your garage

-Develop a complex

-Join the Army...be someone simple

-Try harder

-Hit the deck

-Put leg warmers on your furniture

-Cut the deck

-Scheme

-Sit

-Water your family room

-Stay

-Cause a power failure

-Roll over

-Wriggle

-Play dead

-Donate your brother's body to science

-Find a witch

-Ask why

-Burn her

-Regress

-Sleepwalk without sleeping

-Go bow hunting for Toyotas

-Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids

-Jump back

-Play to lose

-Scalp a street light

-Have your car painted...plaid

-Read a tomato

-Sharpen your sleeping skills

-Watch a game show...take notes

-Put out a fire

-Interview a cloud

-If you can't find a fire, make one

-Play tiddlywinks...go for blood

-Play basketball...in a minefield

-Crumple

-Translate Shakespeare into English

-Skydive to church

-Cheer up a potato

-Do aerobic exercises...in your head

-Play cards with your swimming pool

-Pinstripe your driveway

-Play Kick the Fire Hydrant

-Harness chipmunk power

-Build a house with ice cubes

-Call London for a cab

-Mug a stop sign

-Change your name...daily

-Go for a walk in your attic

-Challenge your neighbor to a duel

-Try to join Hell's Angels by mail

-Wonder

-Be a square root

-Ask stupid questions

-Weld your car doors shut

-Spew

-Vacation at Three-Mile Island

-Surf Ohio

-Teach your pet rock to play dead

-Go bowling for small game

-Be a monk...for a day

-Wear a sweatband to your wedding

-Staple

-Run away

-Intimidate a piece of chalk

-Abuse the plumbing

-Bend a florescent light

-Bend a brick

-Annoy total strangers

-Don't talk to things

-Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling

-Have your cat bronzed

-Have your gerbil gilded

-Write books about writing books

-Create random equations

-Misspell words

-Tell your feet a joke

-Throw a tomato into a fan

-Sing the ABC song backwards

-Pretend you're a dog

-Dial-a-prayer and argue with it

-Grease the doorknobs

-String up a room

-Stack furniture

-Relive fond memories

-Tie your shoelaces together

-Gargle

-Count your teeth with your tongue

-Decay

-Find your half-life

-Build a house out of toothpicks

-Howl

-Wear a lampshade on your head

-Memorize the dictionary

-Stomp grapes in the bathtub

-Find a bug and chase it

-Make yourself a pair of wings

-Be immobile

-Dance 'til you drop

-Check under chairs for chewing gum

-Squish a loaf of bread

-Moo

-Bounce a potato

-Out maneuver your shadow

-Climb the walls

-Appreciate everything

-Challenge yourself to a duel

-Believe in Santa Claus

-Let the best man win

-Throw marshmallows against the wall

-Hold an ice cube as long as possible

-Adopt strange mannerisms

-Blow up a balloon until it pops

-Sing soft and sweet and clear

-Sing loud and sour and gravely

-Open everything

-Balance a pencil on your nose

-Pour milk in your shoes

-Write graffiti under the rug

-Embarrass yourself

-Grind your teeth

-Chew ice

-Count your belly button

-Sit in a row

-Stack crumbs

-Gesture

-Save your toenail clippings

-Make a pass at your blender

-Punt

-Make up words that start with X

-Make oatmeal in the bathtub

-Search for the Lost Chord

-Chew on a sofa cushion

-Sing a duet

-Balance a pillow on your head

-Hold your breath

-Faint

-Stretch

-Flash your mailman

-Teach your TA English

-Learn to speak Farsi

-Swear in Russian

-Use an eraser until it goes away

-Disassemble your car

-Put it together inside out

-Record your walls

-Interview your feet

-Make a list of your favorite fungi

-Sell formaldehyde

-Make napalm

-Tattoo your dresser

-Watch a bowling ball

-Buy some diapers

-Eat everything

-Begin

-Pour milk in the sink

-Make cottage cheese

-Tie-dye your sheets

-Hold your earlobes

-Carpet your ceiling

-Fold your earlobes

-Flap

-Squawk

-Read tea leaves

-Analyze the Koran

-Be Buddha

-Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize

-Plug in the cat

-Turn on everything

-Drop pebbles down the chimney

-Turn off your neighbor

-Kill a plant

-Buy a 1931 Almanac

-Memorize the weather section

-Think lewd thoughts about yourself

-Peel grapes

-Make paper from the skins

-Send chills down your spine

-Blow bubbles

-Bloat

-Catch them with your radiator

-Get run over by a train of thought

-Make up famous sayings

-Bite your pinkie

-File your teeth

-Design a better toilet seat

-Shred a newspaper

-Scratch

-Have a headache

-Sniff

-Hatch an egg

-Play air guitar

-Spill

-Act profound

-Spell

-Stare

-Truncate

-Slouch

-Develop hearing problems

-Put your feet behind your head

-Tie bows in everything

-Hold your hand

-Watch the minute hand move

-Grow your fingernails

-Pretend you're a telephone

-Radiate

-Ring

-Skip

-Play hopscotch...with real scotch

-Clock the velocity of your REMs

-Put your shoes on the opposite feet

-Cross your toes

-Roll your tongue

-Crystallize

-Baby oil the floor

-Hide

-Attack innocent bunnies

-Declare war

-Destroy a tree

-Hide the scrabble bag

-Seduce your stick shift

-Wink

-Memorize the periodic table

-Mummify

-Pretend you're a roadie

-Buy a Ginsu knife

-Collect electrons

-Correct typos that aren't there

-Polish your neck...use Pledge

-Repeat

-Ad lib

-Fade

-Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car

-Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet

-Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes

-Unscrew all the light bulbs and rearrange the furniture

-Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending

-Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")

-Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother

-Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong

-Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail

-Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire

-Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before

-Walk on water...but don't get caught

-Confess to a crime...that didn't happen

-Be in the wrong place at the right time

-Plot the overthrow of your local School Board

-Request covert assistance from the CIA

-Discover the source of the Mississippi

-Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska

-Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes

-Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is

-Drink as much prune juice as you can

-Write a book about your previous life

-Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres

-Jump up and down...on your alarm clock

-Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins

-Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniel's

-Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow

-Drive the speed limit...in your garage

-Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final

-Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna

-Pay off the national debt...with a bad check

-Go to a cemetery and verbally abuse dead people

-Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas

-Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes

-Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster

-See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement

-Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English

-Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good job they're doing...On April 1st

-Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor

-Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them

-Turn your TV picture tube upside down

-Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy

-Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets

-Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks

-Be planar...but don't tell your parents

-Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck

-Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed

-Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed

-Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese

-Debate politics with a fern

-If you lose, stop watering it and try again.

-Increase your territorial holdings by force

-Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat

-Boldly go where no man has gone before

-Be a threat to the American way of life

-Do research into the cause of World War III

-Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life

-Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh

-See how small you can scrunch your face

-Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis

-Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)

-Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation

-Raise professional certified racing turnips

-Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation

-Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.

-Go to a drive-in movie in a tank

-Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway

-Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first

-Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch

-Send your goldfish to obedience school

-Free the oppressed toasters of America

-Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing

-Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave

-Park your car...with a friend

-Park your car...with a group of friends

-Frame your first statement of bankruptcy

-Place it on the wall of your office

-Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)

-Contribute to the population problem

-Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign

-Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor

-Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife

-Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway

-Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night

-Play with anything that looks interesting

-Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first

-See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water

-Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work

-Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up

-State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")

-Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design

-Make a schematic drawing...of a rock

-Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like

-See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house

-Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while

-See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green

-Bronze your sister's turtle

-See how long it takes for her to notice

-See what she does when she notices

-Bronze your sister

 

You have thought this out so well, how could anyone ever be bored again?

 

This thread is awesome.
Sticky plz.
Lock plz.

 

Someone was very bored.

 

I loved the last 4.

 

Awesome.
I liked the give your cat a mohawk one. I don't have a cat, and, coincedentally, whenever some one comes to my house, my dog gets a mohawk on his a**.

 

Skiing in Kansas is really fun, you should really try some time... :silence:

 

You rock!

Wow! Those were hilarious! There were so many too. Awesome!

 

o_o;; Wow.

 

whenever i'm bored i try to hit Toshe station to pick up some power convertors.

 

What about those droids your uncle told you to buy?