What's Xigbar's Age, Again?

This is my first one... Ever... But you can expect many... MANY more. XD Most of them will be starring Xigbar, cuz he's the main Organization member I RP as... And he's hilarious. This is also one I made when I was bored out of mind, so if it's a little... "Blah," sorry! XDDD

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~
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"What's Xigbar's Age, again...?"

It was no secret that Xigbar was the oldest of all of the Organization members. His gray hair automatically gave him off. But no one in the Organization talked to him about it, or even MENTIONED it to each other. One day, Demyx began to wonder why.
He ran off looking for the Freeshooter to ask him about it. Pretty soon, he found him, wandering around in the halls like he had absolutely nothing to do.
"Hey, Xiggy..." Demyx started, breathlessly. "How old are you?"
Xigbar blinked and asked nervously, "Uh.... And you want to know, why...?"
"Oh.... Just...Ya know.... Wanna compare...."
Xigbar's eyes narrowed slightly. "Sorry man... I ain't buyin' it."
"Oh, come on, Xiggy!" Demyx begged. "You can't hide what's inside...!" He laughed halfheartedly.
Xigbar rolled his eyes at Demyx and turned to walk away. "Look, man... You're not making any sense right now. I'll see ya later, I guess."

Demyx shrugged. "Whatever. See ya later, old timer."
Xigbar screeched to a stop. His head seemed to rotate 180 degrees as he asked, "What did you just call me...?" His voice was dangerously low. One of his eyes began twitching uncontrolablely.
Demyx shrugged. "I just called you oooooold tiiiimeeeeer...." he said, drawing out the words. He bent over and started to laugh while screaming, "OLD TIMER, OLD TIMER!!!!!"

Click... Click...

"Huh...?" Demyx looked up, surprised. There was a dark shadow on Xigbar’s face. He had both of his guns out, too. "Uh... Oh.." Demyx trailed off. His smile melted off his face and he gulped slightly.
Xigbar snarled as he growled out, "Alright, water boy... You can laugh alright..." He pointed the guns to Demmy's chest. "Let's see how well ya can dance!!!!"
Demyx's pupils shank to the size of rice grains. "W-Wait! Xigbar, I was just-- AGHH!!!!!"

A few minutes later, Demyx was leaning on the wall, gasping for air. His clothes looked like they'd been through a huge paper shredder... Twice.

Xigbar rushed to him, a furious expression on his face. He grabbed Demyx by what was left of his collar, and heaved him up, slamming him against the wall. "Don't EVER call me old timer again!!! YA HEAR ME?! NOT! EVER! A! G'IN!" He slammed Demyx against the wall to emphasis each word.
Demyx by this time was sobbing with fright. "Okay...! Okay, you win!"
Xigbar shoved his face into Demyx's. "SAY IT! Say you won't ever call me old timer again!!!"
“Iwon'tevercallyouoldtimeragain!!!! Iwon'tevercallyouoldtimeragain!!!!!!!!!!”

Xigbar dropped him onto the ground. "You got off easy THIS time..." he growled. "Call me that again, and you'll NEVER be able to have kids..." he grumbled.

Demyx gulped, shaking slightly as Xigbar walked off, clinching his fist together, again and again. Suddenly, Xigbar whipped around. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT?!"
"N-N-Noth-"
"Just get out of my sight..." he growled.

Demyx scrambled off, wiping his eyes.

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Yep... There it is. XD Comments are greatly appriciated.... ^-^' Hope ya enjoyed, blah blah blah, yada yada, fine print and stuff. XD

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.

Here's Part One of the Sequel...

 

Awww, poor Demyx. That was really awesome. Good humour and good description.

Are you going to make a sequal to this?

 

Lmao...my two fave characters.
Though it seems Xigbar has a bit of Saix's berserker blood xD

 

Iunno... Maybe. XD

Axel: Everybody has their own little Sai'x in 'em. X3 Ya just gotta know how to bring it out... >.>

Thanks for liking it, guys!!! =D

 

You absolutely have to continue this story! Dude! Well, Dudette, but that's semantic....anyway, seriously! I want to know what else happens!

 

Xigbar is soooo touchy!! You have to continue with this, it's so funny. Poor Demyx, he really pushed his luck!

 

*blink*

Well... I guess I could continue it... XD

I'm gonna hafta figure out how, though. XD

Thanks for all your support! =DDDD

*huggles all of you*

 

I seem to... remember this. :3

Very humourous.. xD

 

I know you remember this... X3

I just cleaned it up a little more and gave it a title! =D

good eye, though. XD *whacks you on the back*

 

Organization XIII Fanfiction - Xigbar is...? (Part 1)

I got bored, so here ya go. XD This story was inspired by me and Celeste's (a.k.a., Demyxu) crazy AMV ideas. XD This was originally supposed to be a present for Celeste (and just a personal challenge), but I got so many good comments on my last fan-fic, that I decided to make a few changes and link 'em both together! =D

Here's the first one... "What's Xigbar's Age, Again?"

Warning: This fanfiction succesfully degrades Xigbar in, just about, every way possible. Do not read unless prepared. XD ...I like applesauce.

Hope ya enjoy, part 2 is comin' up soon. XDDDD

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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"Xigbar is...?"​

A few months later…

Demyx rushed through the hallway of Castle Oblivion, panting. “How come I’M the one who has to get him…?†he whined under his breath. Right now, he was searching for Xaldin – it was suspected that he was the one who had stabbed the PC. He’d probably had some problems winning a particularly hard game and stabbed it out of frustration. Demyx had already gone Number 3’s room, and he wasn’t there. So now, he was running around the castle like a chicken with its head chopped off, looking for “The Dreadlocks and Sideburns of DOOMâ€.

That’s when he heard music blasting somewhere close. It seemed it was coming from Xigbar’s room… Faintly, he could make out the words – “Listen up, ya’ll… Cuz this is it! The beat that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious!â€

Demyx stopped. “Oh, wait a minute... THAT’S my song.†He glanced around quickly, then sneaked back to Xigbar’s room. “Xaldin can wait… The song’s only, like, 4 minutes, right?â€

He got back a little after the verse started. “…make them boys go loco. They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo…â€

Wait a sec… He thought, narrowing his eyes. Is it just me…? Or does it sound like someone else is singing along with it…? He snickered a little, thinking about how funny it would be to catch Xigbar singing this song – blackmail for MONTHS!!! He held his hand to his mouth, to stop from laughing out loud, and cracked the door open part way, and gasped. What he saw was too good to be true.

Xigbar was dancing in the middle of his room with nothing but boxers on, holding his hairbrush to his mouth like it was a microphone or something. He had a HUGE grin on his face, and was singing in his best imitation of Fergie’s. It was pretty good, too. Luckily, his back was turned to the door, so he couldn’t see Demyx spying on him.

Xigbar – The Freeshooter – in nothing but his boxers, singing in a girly voice, and shaking his butt to “Fergaliciousâ€â€¦ It was too much for Demyx to handle. He sank to the floor, trembling and giving little giggles while pressing his hand to his mouth harder. He couldn’t help it – was just too funny. He was trying his best keep his self control and not to burst out laughing.

While Demyx was slumped on the floor, trying desperately not to give himself off, Axel came around the corner, looking around. “Oh! Demyx! There you are! Where have you been? The Superior—â€
Demyx quickly jumped up, as quietly as he could. He pressed one finger to his lips with a, “Shhhh…!†And then, he got a surprisingly evil idea on a way to get back at Xigbar. Oh yes, he remembered that time Xigbar had shot at him for calling him “old timer†– he remembered it clearly. All he’d done was call Xigbar a little name. And he’d gotten shot at. But now, it was time for payback.
He glanced back into the room, and motioned for Axel to come over. Axel raised an eyebrow, then crept over to where Demyx was standing. He peeked though the crack in the door.

Xigbar was now making a lot of dramatic hand motions to go with the words. “…And if you was suspicious, All that (he paused) is fictitious. I blow kisses (he blew a kiss at an imaginary person) I put them boys on rock, rock! (he made a sorta pumping motion with his arm as he said this) And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got. So delicious...†And that’s when he started popping.

Axel clapped his hand over his mouth, and leaned on the door frame for support. His whole body was shaking with mirth. “Can’t… Breathe…†he whispered to Demyx. “So… Funny…â€
“I know!†Demyx mouthed back, wiping his eyes.

“What’s going on…?†They both turned around to see Luxord, Roxas, and Saix staring at them accusingly.
The two glanced at each other, put their fingers to their lips, and motioned them to come over wildly.
Roxas and Luxord looked at each other, shrugged, and went over. Saix followed behind, skeptically.
“What…?†Roxas asked softly as he arrived. Axel and Demyx just pointed into the room. He blinked, then looked in. Luxord looked in after him.

“…Fergalicious, definition: make them boys go crazy! They always claim they know me, comin' to me – call me Xemmy! I'm the X, I, G, the G, the I, the E, and can't no other member put it down like me! (he swung his hips as he said these last few words.) I'm Fergalicious! ...â€

Roxas began giggling, and put his hand over his mouth. Luxord’s mouth dropped open as he watched Xigbar prance around more in his undies. So… Hot… he thought, his eye twitching.
Axel stared at him. “Hey, uh… Luxord…? You alright, man?†He waved his hand in front of Luxord’s face. No response. The lights are on, but no one’s home… he thought.
Saix, who was now backing up, grinning, murmured, “I must tell the Superior…!†then took off, snickering.
“Spread the word!†Demyx whispered after him. Saix nodded.
Demyx turned back around, watched Xigbar make a fool out of himself a little more, then chuckled to himself. Excellent…

And so it began…

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Oh, and in case you're wondering, yes Luxord does have the hots for Xigbar. >.> Celeste likes that pairing, so I decided to put it in... Besides... If I took it out, you'd miss, like, 3 funny parts in the fan-fic. XD So... Yeah. XD

Sorry, shonen-ai haters! DX Just stick with me - I think the jokes will be worth it... >.>

--EDIT--
Liek, ZOMGZERS! Part 2 is up! XD

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.

 

LOL. Xigbar dancing to Fergalicious! Luxord x Xigbar! Genius!

Fergalicious is kinda catchy if you dont listen to the lyrics though.

 

Ha... Thank you! ^-^

And, yes... Fergalicious is one addicting song... >.>'

I think I'll drop the "Organization XIII Fanfic" part out of my titals, though... >.>' You can't tell when I update...

 

"Xigbar is...?" (Part 2)

Dis be part one...

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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Xigbar had no idea he was destroying his reputation and his dignity to go with it… As far as he was concerned, he was just singing and dancing to a song he liked.

He put the hairbrush to his mouth as the vamp came. “Baby, baby, baby…” he sang sweetly. “If you really want me… Honey, get some patience. Maybe then you'll get a taste.” He started gently rocking his body with the song. “I'll be tasty, tasty! I'll be laced with lacey! It's so tasty, tasty… It'll make you crazy!”

Then he started popping again as he rapped in Will I Am’s voice, “T, to the A, to the S, T, Y, damn, I’m so tasty! X, to the I, to the G, G, Y, damn, I’m so tasty! D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the, hit it Xiggy!”

He stopped popping, and started rapping in Fergie’s voice once again, “All the time I turn around ‘Members gather round always looking at me up and down looking at my uuhh… (he pressed his fingers to his lips as he said this). I just wanna say it now - I ain't trying to round up drama, lil’ mama, I don't wanna take your man. And I know I'm coming off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how Nobodies wanna eat it. But I'm tryin' to tell, that I can't be treated like clientele 'cause they say he’s…”

He pranced around his room a little more, stepping to the beat, with a grin as big as Kingdom Hearts itself plastered on his face. GOD, I love this song! he thought, still singing his own little version of Fergalicious.

A few seconds passed. He counted off on his fingers as he shouted, “Four, tres, two, uno! …My body stay so vicious!” He pumped his arm up as if lifting weights as he said, “I be up in the gym, just working on my fitness! He's my witness! (he paused as the radio shouted ‘Oooh, wee!’) I put yo' boy on rock, rock, (he made the pumping motion from before again) And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got!”

He swayed back and forth grinning as he sang, “So delicious… (he paused as the radio sang, ‘Aye, aye, aye, aye…’) So delicious… (‘Aye, aye, aye, aye…’) So delicious… (‘Aye, aye, aye, aye…’) I'm Fergalicious - t-t-t-t-t tasty… tasty…?”

Suddenly, he became aware of the chorus of muffled giggles and chuckles. He blinked and glanced around as the radio continued without him, “It's so delicious… (aye, aye, aye, aye) So delicious (aye, aye, aye, aye)…”

Oh! It’s coming from outside of my room! He thought, snapping his fingers. He looked at his door, and for the first time, caught sight of that crack in it. He dropped his hairbrush, and sighed, rubbing the back of his head. Oh crap… I hope Axel, Demyx, or Xaldin didn’t see me dancing like that… He thought, making his way to the door. They’d never let me live it down…

He reached the door, sighed again, and started pushing it open. “Wha—OH MY GAWD!!!!!” He’d expected to see one or two members of the Organization giggling at him dancing in his undies. Instead, he came face to face with THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ ORGANIZATION all with their hand covering their mouths and giving little giggles. All except Luxord. He was staring at Xigbar as if mesmerized. But that didn’t exactly make Xigbar feel any better…

His cheeks became a bright pink-ish color. “Uh… Uh… W-What are you—” he coughed a bit into his hand to clear his throat. It still sounded like Fergie’s. This just made the rest of The Organization giggle more. His cheeks turned as red as a tomato. “I mean…” he whimpered in his normal voice, “W-What are all of you guys d—”

“Oh, please… Don’t stop because of US!” Xemnas cut in, smirking. All attention instantly shifted to him. “Please continue, Mr. Xig-alicious!”

"We be 'linin down the block just to watch what you've got' just like you said!" someone else called from the crowd. Probably Xaldin

“YEAH!” Demyx piped up. “What was that one thing you were doing…?” Without waiting for an answer, he started doing a goofy imitation of Xigbar’s popping.

Axel giggled. “I wonder how you’d look doin’ the ‘Walk it Out’!” he jeered. It was too much for the Organization to handle, and they all cracked up, roaring with the pent-up laughter that they’d been holding in all that time.

Xigbar’s whole face turned a deep red color as he glanced around. Everyone in The Organization was laughing at him… Everyone. Including Zexion.

Zexion.

Number VI. Zexxy. The Cloaked Schemer – MR. EMO, FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!!!

Laughing.

Surely, the world was gonna end in 3 days.

Xigbar looked around again, hurt and embarrassment shining brightly in his eyes. Now his whole face was beet red. He sighed, and lowered his eyes to the ground.

Luxord saw this, and instantly felt badly about laughing at poor Xigbar. He choked down the rest of his laughter, and declared, “Aw, c’mon, guys! Don’t be like that!” Everybody stopped and looked at him. He grinned, happy to have this chance to prove himself to Xigbar, and boldly stated, “Hey! I liked his dancing!”

Silence. Xigbar slapped his forehead, then murmured, “Gee, thanks a lot, Luxord… That really meant a lot comin’ from you.”

He’d meant it sarcastically, but Luxord must have taken it as a compliment, because he beamed, and chirped back, “You’re welcome, Xiggy!~”

Xigbar slapped his forehead again. The looks on both of their faces were so priceless, that it sent the whole Organization into a fit of laughter all over again.

Luxord snapped back to attention, and looked around. “What? What did I say?” This just made them laugh harder.

Xigbar moaned, and looked up at the ceiling. Please, God… Take me now…

Xemnas held his side, still shaking with laughter, and gasped, “Okaaaaay… as comedic as this experience was, Luxord’s right. We all have things to do, and we cannot simply stand here laughing ourselves into a coma.” He crossed his arms, a faint smile on his face. “Back to work – all of you.”

They all nodded and wandered off, giggling and chatting with one another. It was no secret who they were talking about, either. Xemnas glanced at Xigbar one more time, then rushed off, holding his hand to his mouth again, barely containing his laughter.

Demyx, Axel, and Xaldin grouped together, started whispering things to each other, then started singing together, in obnoxiously loud voices, “HE’S THE X, I, G, THE G, THE I, THE E, AND CAN’T NO OTHER MEMBER PUT IT DOWN LIKE XIGGY! HE’S FERGALICIOUS!!!!” and cracked up all over again.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?”

Seconds later, they were all dashing through the halls, screaming, with a very pissed off Xigbar hot on their trails – both guns pulled out and ready to shoot somebody.

And so, Demyx’s revenge was fulfilled.

No one really mentioned that incident to Xigbar’s face again after that day. But sometimes, when he was walking down the halls, they’d snicker, and say something like, “*coughcoughFergaliciouscough*” or “Man… I really feel like goin’ up to the gym and workin’ on my fitness today… Gotta keep that butt vicious!” or… “Man… This thing is stuck. S, to the T, to the U, C, K, yep, this thing’s stuck.” “Better pop it!” “Could ya… hit it, Xiggy?”

And if they were particularly brave (or just plain stupid), they’d actually go out of their way to find Xigbar, and announce in loud voice, “MAN! Isn’t this the most Xig-alicious day you’ve ever seen?!” “Yep, it ain’t promiscuous or nothin’!” or something similar. …To their own risk, of course…

After a month or two, they got tired of tormenting Xigbar, and eventually moved on to something else. Even so, no one in The Organization ever quite forgot about that day… Xigbar never found out it was Demyx who’d set him up for the most embarrassing day of his life, either. But one thing was for sure.

Xigbar never listened to Fergalicious ever again.

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The end. XD No more paradies... I can't think of anything creative enough to come off'n this 'un. Sowwy... Hope ya enjoyed! >=D

Lord Of The Wings,
~Leah

 

Ah, the Organization's reactions to Xigbar's dancing was priceless. I liked how you described the 'Aftermath'...*chuckles*

Heh, Fergalicious.

 

Heh.... Thanks. ^-^

*is working on next fanfic now*

 

Lol. Good lord, and I thought Axel's Hips Don't Lie on Youtube was hilarious. I wonder if anyone did a amv for this yet. Heheeheheh, Xigalicious. XDDD

 

I wanted to make this into an AMV, but I can't right now for reasons I'm too tired to explain. XD

 

That was good. Poor Demyx. Great Job.

 

I like, I like......You WILL make a sequel right...

 

....

I'm sorry, Darkness, but it looks like I already have... ;_;

*gets hit with a brick*

Ow... >.>

Anyways... XD

Go nuts. =3