Dischord

Discussion in 'Archives' started by 2Foxxie4U, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

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    Word vomit. Therapy. My sanity leaking out of my ears as I'm typing this very message. All of the above?

    I honestly don't know anymore. This is something I literally whipped up in, like, the last few hours. There are probably a million mistakes. I don't care. I just needed something to vent on, some way.

    Leah needs hugs, ya'll... She needs them bad... <='C

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Dischord

    He knew.

    Somehow, he'd known the entire time, but he didn't say a thing. Looking back, I sensed that something was off, too. But I'm just a stupid, cowardly Waterboi. What could I have known?

    All of that time... he spent reassuring me... “Don't worry, Demyx... It's just a week-long mission at our new post in Castle Oblivion to see how well its powers work... It should be easy...” All of that time... He knew something was going to happen... He knew.

    Gone.


    The words rang through the boy's head as he stared at the blood-red Proof of Existence. “Lexaeus. The Silent Hero.”

    Gone.


    His movements stiff and jerky, the boy unsteady stumbled back into a portal leading to his room. Why do I insist on doing this to myself? he asked in his mind as he toppled into the messy, unmade bed. I know he's gone... I've visited that same damned place every day for two weeks now... It's not like he's going to come back... Again...

    His usually neat and tidy room had turned into an absolute pigsty over the course of just those fourteen days. Trash and dirty clothes were strewn about the room, and there was a certain, distinctive oder hovering around the room that smelled like sweat, moldy cheese, and something dead.

    Demyx himself was looking rather unkempt. His usually tidy hair was greasy and matted over from neglect, his bright curious eyes were dull and listless with dark circles under his eyes, and there were stains all over his wrinkled, unwashed Organization cloak.

    Gone...

    The worst part wasn't even the fact that he was dead. The worst part was what happened after his death. All of their deaths. No acknowledgement to the fallen. No funeral. No kind words telling what brave, hardworking people they were. Even the traitors – Marluxia, Vexen, and Larxene weren't discussed after Axel told his story, and it was apparent that they were dead. All they did was... move on. All Xemnas did was redistribute missions so that they could make up for all of the hearts that they'd normally get with the full amount of members.

    Except for Demyx, of course. Demyx quickly found himself restricted to the castle after he bombed his first two missions after Axel's return. He was usually pretty bad at missions anyway, but the added shock of His best friend and father-figure disappearing from his life forever... His service was more of a hindrance than helpful. So, while everyone was out gathering hearts around the clock, who was left to sit in rot in the castle, wasting away in solitude?

    Demyx closed his eyes, and listened. Silent... he decided. … The castle was never silent before... It used to be always bursting with life and excitement... There was never a time when it was... dead... He looked up at the big, heart-shaped moon shining outside of his window. Why... When they died... did the whole castle have to die with them...? Why... When Kingdom Hearts looks so much fuller... Does my soul feel so empty...?

    He could feel his inner demons start to resurface. Come on Demyx... He can never come back... You have to join him... It's the only way...
    He covered his ears. No... No – go away... I'm not listening to you... I'll never listen to you...!
    It's the only way... Do you WANT to go through life like this?
    Shut UP!


    It was the quiet... The quiet! It was maddening! He couldn't stand it! I can't live like this... The blonde thought, sighing as he drew his sitar. “I'll go crazy... I have to play something... Anything to fill the silence...!”

    With his fingers stiff and an uneven tempo, Demyx tried to begin playing one of his earlier compositions – he hadn't been able to compose something new in days. The light, plunky song was supposed to sound like soft raindrops plunking down to the earth below, but instead, it just sounded uneven and... false... Something was missing.

    No, no, no...!

    Demyx found himself playing the same part again and again and again and again... No, no, NO! That's not right! I didn't write it that way! Something's wrong!

    He forced himself to slow down, take a deep breath, and concentrate. Okay... Forget about that... Don't play what you know... Play... what you feel.

    For a second, he was silent, trying to channel those small, ghosts of emotions flowing through his mind. And then he began playing. Slowly, at first... His hands steady, all of the notes deep, gratey and inharmonious. He began playing faster... and faster... and faster still, sweat pouring from his brow as he pushed himself harder and faster than he ever had before. His fingers, slippery with sweat, began to cramp and ache, but he would not stop. If anything, he just went faster.

    He bared his teeth as chaotic notes flew about at astounding speeds. Anarchy! Pandemonium! Chaos! DISCHORD! Without thinking he began banging out the same, inharmonious chord again and again, each time harder, louder, FASTER--!

    TWANG!

    Demyx stopped suddenly. He stared at his sitar quietly, noting the single, rebellious string, that had been unable to withstand his frantic playing and snapped under the stress.

    And he felt part of his sanity snap with it.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHHH!!!”

    With a wild, furious scream, the boy jumped to his feet, and heaved the poor sitar across the room. As soon as it touched the wall, it dissolved into a few watery bubbles and disappeared. But he was hardly getting started. The boy continued, pushing over his dresser, kicking his TV off of the stand and successfully breaking it, picking up his mattress and tossing it across the room, pushing off all of the books on his shelf, ripping up compositions, tearing off his blue, cheery wallpaper – anything he could get his hands on, he destroyed until there was literally nothing left but a pile of mess lying in the middle of his room.

    Giving a few weak sobs, the boy finally collapsed, not feeling one tiny bit better – just even more empty. In his deliria, he curled up in a tiny ball inside of his closet – the only place safe from his destructive fit of anger. There was nothing but his soft, wheezy sobs, and tiny gasps of breath... Behind those few, superficial sounds... silence... The dreaded silence again.

    What am I doing here...? he finally asked himself. I'm claustrophobic... I hate anything that has to do with closets... Why am I in one...?
    He could almost feel his sanity chipping away, piece by piece. It wasn't long before his inner demons came surfacing up again. Damnit – look at you... You're a monster...You're turning into a monster...
    You worthless piece of ****... You don't deserve to live...
    He's waiting for you... All you have to do is go down to the kitchen and grab a few sleeping pills... It'll be so easy... So painless...
    No...
    He thought, tears streaming down his face as he covered his ears, trying to block out the horrible voices. I won't listen...! You can't make me! I'd rather go deaf than listen to you!
    It's the only way... Do it...
    No...
    DO IT!


    “Make it stop – PLEASE!”
    “Demyx?”
    The boy gasped as a voice called his name from outside.
    “Demyx, you in here? What was that? You alright?” They tried to open the door, only to find its path barred by a toppled dresser. “What the hell HAPPENED in here?! It looks like a ****ing tornado erupted in here! No – I take that back – it looks worse. I'd KNOW what an unleashed tornado would look like, and this is definitely worse.”

    The boy sighed bitterly. Great... Just what I needed... He thought as Xaldin continued to push his way in. A big bully to pick on me and make me cry even more... He was too exhausted to protest, though, and let the bigger man do what he wanted.

    After a while of struggling. Xaldin finally managed to slip inside of the doorway with a sigh. He looked around. “Demyx...? Where are you?”
    “Go away...” came a muffled response.
    Xaldin raised an eyebrow, and poked his head into the closet. “... Demyx...?”
    The boy avoided eye contact.
    Xaldin wrinkled his brow. “Demyx, what's going on? Why is your room such a mess? Why are you hiding in a closet? And what was that scream I heard before? At first, I thought a Heartless sneaked in here and had attacked you without us knowing! You're lucky I got today off.”
    “..................” Demyx continued to avoid his eyes, his lower lip trembling ever-so-slightly. Within seconds, he was sniffling, and his eyes were flowing with tears. Again.

    Damnit... You're pathetic – just like they all say... Pathetic, sniveling loser... Stop crying, you moron... you're just giving him something new to pick on you about...

    But he couldn't stop. The tears kept flowing despite his best efforts to stifle them. All he could do was wait bitterly until Xaldin laughed at him or called him a pathetic wimp, or...

    Hug... him...?

    Demyx blinked, staring at the man as he kneeled down to Demyx's height, wrapped his strong arms arms around him, and gave a tight, yet gentle squeeze. Demyx stared at the side of his head. …Who are you, and what have you done with Xaldin?
    “You were... thinking about him, weren't you...?” Xaldin asked softly.
    Demyx blinked again. “... Who...?” he asked, though he was sure he already knew.
    “Him. Lexaeus. I know you two were pretty close friends... And it's not like anyone else who's gone would make you cry like that... Though I'm sure you miss them all...”
    “..............” Demyx felt himself choking up again. “It's so hard... to think that he's gone... Dead... He was always there for me... My very first friend... My guardian angel... Angels aren't supposed to die, Xaldin...”

    Xaldin sighed. “I'm going to level with you, kid – I haven't believed in angels for a looong, long time now. But even I know that angels have to go back to heaven...”
    “But... But it hurts...” the boy sobbed. “It hurts... I feel like I've lost my heart all over again... Why, if I'm not able to feel... Why does it hurt so much...? Why am I like this...?”
    Xaldin sighed again. “Well, even if we don't have hearts anymore, we still have minds... Minds are capable of feeling loss when something they've grown accustomed to is gone. Minds can self-destruct. Minds can be illogical... Almost as illogical as hearts are.”

    There was silence for a while.

    “He was a great guy, you know...” Xaldin sighed. “I'd know... I've been working with him long enough... I wish that we could've said more in his honor – in all of their honor – but there just wasn't any time... Not with the Keyblade master going AWOL and all of our plans topsy-turvy because of that damned Marluxia... And I'm pretty damned sure Axel had some role in it, too. If we don't kick it into high gear now, we might never get our hearts back. We've GOT to do it... For everyone who died trying to see our dream come true...”

    Demyx nodded silently, tears still brimming in his eyes. Xaldin wanted to stab himself in eye if it meant never having to look at such a gosh-darned pitiful sight again. “C'mon, Demyx – you're making this hard for me... C'mon – just smile, okay?”
    Demyx gave a pathetic excuse for a smile.
    “Demyx, you of all people should know how to smile right. Now c'mon. Don't make me have to bribe you with cake.”
    The little smile grew a bit more sincere. “... Cake...?”
    “Knew I'd get you with that one. Yeah. Cake.”
    Demyx laughed a bit, and wiped his eyes. “Well... I guess a little treat couldn't hurt...”
    “There we go...”

    Xaldin helped him up, smiling a bit. “After we're done eating, I'll even help you clean your room up. I've got nothing better to do – I was just going to spend the day in the library, anyway. C'mon...”

    As Demyx was led through the corridor of darkness, he couldn't help but think about how curiously the events had turned. I might've lost a dear, dear friend... But at least I know I won't ever be alone again...


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Eeee-yup. I dunno. Can I have a hug yet?

    BTW, if someone comes up quoting something that happens in 358\2 Days that basically makes this whole fanfic impossible, I will not hesitate to him or her a big, virtual boot in the face. And then I will binge on sleeping pills and kill myself like Demyx was going to do. And it'll be all your fault. =\ So, yeah. First of all, don't be a jerk and let me vent the way I wanna vent. Second of all, no spoilers. Please. I actually want to be SURPRISED by what happens when I get the game. Didn't happen for KH I and II... The spoilers were too tempting...

    Lord or the Wings,
    ~Leah.
     
  2. Amber PLUR

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    I understand about the spoilers... I accidently spoiled myself big-time. >_<

    *hugs tightly* I understand how you feel. I was actually working on my own vent writing, although I wasn't planning on showing it to anyone.

    I totally identify with Dem here. I mean, no, I didn't have a friend die, but it almost feels like it.
     
  3. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

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    Yeah - I can't say that my life is as hard as Demyx's was in this fanfiction - not by a long shot - but I do feel like... everything I've ever loved it spinning out of control. My father figure has died in my eyes, and all that's left over is maddening silence that I try to fill with music, but there isn't a song in the universe that can accurately describe what I'm feeling right now.
     
  4. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    Well....this is a very strange Fan-fic. The characters don't seem like their normal selves, and yet it fits them, in a way.

    In fact I could almost imagine Demyx bing friends with lexaeus...This fan fiction is very good, and for some reason I'm always enjoying reading from you, it feels so fluid to read and comprehend.

    Now I just feel bad for the organization members, and the fact that they never cared to expand on if sora was right in erasing them.
     
  5. Clawtooth Keelah se'lai!

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    Really, really, REALLY, good. I love it, even thought there's a hint of / (I can deal with it). It is so emotive and plausible in the canon too. It just seems to fit.

    And you'll be thankful that nothing in 358/2 days disproves or aproves it.

    I am hooked and even though you'll probably never write more, I'd read it ^_^.
     
  6. Firekeyblade Hollow Bastion Committee

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    I almost cried. You're very talented. Even if you're venting......>_>....somehow. I would never be able to pull that off. Venting while creating something wonderful. *hugs* I hope you feel better. Even thought cyberhugs don't add to much.
     
  7. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

    Joined:
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    The internet! Duh!
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    Thanks for the compliment... In this, everyone's a bit out of their element, so things are a bit skewered... Much like how I was feeling when I wrot it... But I'm a bit better now... Still confused, but better.

    Yeeeah - there's a HINT of slash in there, but in my (official - RPs don't count, and neither does my Xilord story. XD) fandom, there are no real pairings in the Organization. So don't worry too much. XD (But, yeah - XalDem is one of my huge guilty pleasures\weaknesses, though it's never really been articulated before... At least not on KHV.)

    Thanks for the compliment, though! ^^

    Ehhhhhh.... I kinda cheated... This was something I was going to write for a friend a while ago, but I just kept putting it off... Just couldn't get in the mood, ya know? And then, life threw a huge freaking curve-ball at me, and... I just KNEW I had to do it. But I'm kinda mad at myself... It was so much better in my head, but I just needed to freaking get it OUT there - I couldn't do anything much with the quality... *sigh*

    Whatever... Life moves on... I'd be thrilled to do another, but, like I said, I've been kinda hesistent to do anything now that 358\2 Days is out now... I think I'd lose it if some random person went up to me and said, "HAY! THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE <BLAHBLAHBLAH> AND <YADAYADAYADAXIONYADAYADAYADA>--"

    Ooh... OOH. I'd lose it. I would. I don't want ot have to go through that. Not now. >.>;;;
     
  8. ♦Demon♥Angel♦ Gummi Ship Junkie

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    D: Where's the humor? Where's the puns?

    I'm half joking, bnut it was still good. Even thought Lex's face kinda creeps me out, he's a good guy....I think.
     
  9. 2Foxxie4U ~The Forgotten Crusader...~

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    Well, in my fandom, the excuse for him being all stoic-faced in CoM because he was worried about what would happen to Demyx when he found out that he wouldn't come back (he kinda has an insight about people dying, and he knew someway that going to Castle Oblivion would doom him, too.) That's my story for it.

    But, look at it this way - if he were a psycho killer, they'd never call him "The Silent Hero", now would they? =\

    And, if you couldn't tell, I was in no mood for joking when I wrote this.
     
  10. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    Don't worry. He/she better be joking.

    Your stories are amongst the best,even the serious ones. It's not like everything has to be humor.