Her eyes were vacant. Hollow. She was looking, gazing towards the ocean like a zombie, mystified as the waves roared below the cliff ledge she stood on. It spat at her, taunting her, letting her know that it was far more powerful than her frail body. Far more powerful. She shuffled forward an inch or so, her breath raw and gasping as she took in another lungful of air. It was icy today. The clouds were sneering at her, the cliffs were laughing at her; the sea taunted her, humiliated her, and gloated of its superiority with loud, crashing tones. Wounds on her arms stung as the saltwater spat up again, making the long, thin scabs seem like scorching wax glued to her limbs. Her world span. The wind was blowing today. It was rushing past her, astounding her so quickly. Her ears rang and popped, freezing like the rest of her rigid body as she hit it. Hit it like a bomb. A small, human bomb. Waters were cold today. Very cold.
Good Lord this story makes me feel miserable. Nice personification of the ocean. For future reference though, it's never icy right by the sea ;3 the ocean winds prevent it. (Just thought I'd be technical here) xD For a person commiting suicide, your narrative seemed very calm and just willing to state facts, which I found amusing. Intresting, though. Nice work.
Upon use of the word "icy" I just meant the atmosphere and general feel of the area around her. I was on thee cliffs i had in mind whilst writing this a few days back, and trust me, it was bloody freezing ;D Anyways, thankyou :3
I like it well enough, the precise diction isn't exactly my favorite thing in the world here but other than the slight thing about gasping being a verb not an adjective I don't see any mistakes. Everything is very deliberate and well put together. Nice job.
