Eet Moore Chikkin?

Hey, ya'll. =3

Remember this picture? =3 Well, guess what? This is the story that goes with it. =3

Actually, this part is more like the prologue. The next part is when it REALLY gets good. >3 Once again, this was not looked over by my proofreader... I've been going into OVERDRIVE lately, so it's not like I can blame her for being tired... XD; Just forgive me is something doesn't make since, cuz I accidentally deleted the last half of it and ended up having to do it all over again. XD;

Hope ya enjoy! ^-^

This fanfic was inspired by a true story... >.>;

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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"Eet Moore Chikkin?"​

Xaldin and Axel stared at each other, not blinking. They were standing inside of the kitchen. Neither of them blinked or said a word – they just stood there, their arms crossed, staring solemnly at the other. Xaldin had on one of those white poofy hats you usually see chefs wear in the commercials. It was eerily quiet.

Finally Axel spoke. “Today’s the big day, huh…?”
Xaldin nodded, still not taking his eyes off Axel. “Yes… Tonight will test all of your true skills… I’ve taught you everything you know; now it is time to see how much you have really learned.”
Axel quirked an eyebrow. “What’s in it for me?”
Xaldin smiled, faintly. “Oh, that’s an easy one… The winner will receive the title “Fire Chef” and with be rewarded with ZE POOFY HAT OF DEWM!” He grinned and pointed to his hat.
“Oooohhhh…” Axel gave a low whistle. “Well… What happens to the loser?”
Xaldin’s grin grew wider. “The loser will have the honor of WASHING ALL OF THE DISHES!”
Axel blinked, shocked into silence.
“… By himself,” Xaldin added, smirking.
Axel gave a slight gasp, this time. By HIMSELF?!
“Do you accept the challenge?”
“…Wow…” Axel murmured, thoughtfully. “There’s a lot riding on this one…” He closed his eyes, thinking for a moment. After a while, he grinned, and said, “I accept your challenge, Wind Master.”
Xaldin grinned again. “Very well, young grasshopper.”

************​

“DINNER TIIIIIIME!!!!” Xaldin shouted about an hour later. Axel grabbed a small mallet lying on the table, and whacked the huge gong that they had placed in the dining room just for that reason.

They were now in the dining room, waiting for everyone to come so they could eat. Xemnas had made it a rule that they were an ORGANIZATION, and would eat together like one. So, even if there was one member missing, none of them would be able to eat unless they were hunted down, strapped to a chair, and force-fed. Dusks flitted around, setting up the table for their masters.

Hardly 5 seconds after gong was rung, Demyx rushed into the room. “DidsomebodysayFOOD?!” he squealed, grinning. His hair was soaking wet – he’d probably been swimming when he heard the dinner call.
Axel rolled his eyes, chuckling. “How’d I know you’d be the first one here?” he asked, sarcastically.

Demyx grinned, and plopped down in his chair. He began drumming the table with his fingers, impatiently. “Mmmm! Something smells good! What are we having today, Xaldin?” he inquired. His mouth began watering.
Xaldin shook his head. “Wait until everyone’s here, Demyx. It won’t kill you.”
Demyx huffed angrily, and crossed his arms, waiting…

************​

Zexion walked down the halls, slowly making his way to the dining room. Huh… I wonder what kinda crap Xaldin’s gonna serve us today…? He thought. Out of the whole Organization, he, by far, was the pickiest eater.

As soon as he walked into the room, he nearly mobbed by 12 very hungry Nobodies.
“THERE he is!” Larxene screamed, enraged.
“What TOOK you so long, you stupid little sneak?!” Xigbar demanded.
“I’M STARVIN’!!!!!” Demyx whined.

“Alright, alright, everyone. Calm down.” Xemnas ordered.
They all fell silent, glaring at Zexion as he took his seat. “Now…” Xemnas started as he turned back to Xaldin and Axel. “Could you two PLEASE tell us what you are serving for dinner now? It is safe to say we are all very anxious to eat.”

Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Well, if you MUST know…” Xaldin started, slowly, “today, we’re doing something different. Axel and I are having a little competition to see how far he’s come…”
“Tch…” Zexion rolled his eyes. “Great. Axel’s cooking… It’s been a while since I’ve had charcoal…”
“HEY!” Axel protested.
He looked like he was about to say something else, but Xaldin shook his head slightly, and the redhead fell silent. “Now, now, Zexion… I think you’d find it surprising how far my pupil has come…”
“That STILL doesn’t answer the question!” Saix growled. “What do we have to eat?!”
“Oh yeah… That.” Xaldin held snapped his fingers. A few Dusks floated in, carrying 2 trays in their arms. “This is what I’m serving. 2 roasted French hens with honey BBQ sauce.”

Everyone stared at the two chickens, mouths watering like crazy. They were already planning what part they would steal, when Axel cleared his throat.

“A-hem… Now for what I’m serving…” He snapped his fingers, also. A few Dusks carrying 3 trays floated in. “What I’m serving is 13 steaks! Slow roasted, and covered with seasoning!”

Everyone stared. The trays were covered with THE thickest, juiciest, most tempting looking steaks they’d EVER seen in their lives.

“And, of course…” Xaldin snapped his fingers once more. A few dusks floated in, carrying bowls full of side foods. “The normal sides: sweet peas, mashed potatoes, rice, Fruit Punch, etcetera.”

“EAT UP!” the two shouted at the same time, and they sat down.

The dining room transformed into a madhouse as the Nobodies scrambled around, trying to get the best parts of the food before the others.
“OOH! OOH!!! Give me that steak!”
“THIS looks good!”
“HEY! I wanted the drumstick, Xigbar!”
“Oh, go get your own, Waterboy!”
“Yumnumnumnum…! These mashed potatoes look great!”

A few minutes later, they’d all settled down a little, munching happily on their food, and chatting with one another.

Luxord looked over to Marluxia. Not only did he have steak on his plate, but a whole quarter of the chicken, too! He quickly swallowed what was in his mouth, and asked, “Hey, Marly… I always thought you were a vegetarian or somethin’… What’s with all the meat?”
Marluxia blinked. “Vegetarian…? Hell no! They’re evil.”
Luxord blinked, also, now completely confused. He looked down at Marluxia’s plate – for the first time noticing there were no veggies on it at all. “But… You—”
“Killing all those perfectly innocent plants and absolutely refusing to eat meat for no reason at all…! They make me sick…” Marluxia growled. “Murderers! Murderers, ALL OF THEM!” It was easy to tell now that the Assassin was in his own little world now…
“Uh… O…kay…?” Luxord inched away from the pink haired man, looking at him strangely.

“Mmmm!” Xemnas sighed. “Axel, this steak is amazing!” He was sitting across the table from the redhead.
“I agree!” Saix shouted, grinning. “How ever did you get it so tender?”
Axel shrugged, grinning. “I whacked them with a spiked mallet. Many times. And ya really gotta put your body into it, too!” He grinned, and said, jokingly, “Got it tenderized?”

They both cracked up. Axel grinned, then turned around, and started talking with Xaldin about some random thing he’d noticed about shampoo.

While Axel was doing that, Demyx, who was sitting right beside him was shoveling food in his mouth as fast as he could. Aw man… he thought, sighing. My chicken’s gone already… I haven’t even gotten started! He looked over at Larxene, who was right beside him. She still hadn’t eaten any of her steak. Hmmm… I wonder what that tastes like… he thought, staring at it, hungrily.

“Hey… Larxene…” He nudged her a little.
She turned around to him, an annoyed look on her face. “What?!” she snapped, her mouth full of mashed potatoes.
Demyx pointed to her steak, smiling innocently. “You gonna eat that…?”
Larxene blinked and swallowed, staring at him incredulously. “…What? Am I gonna eat it?! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I GOT IT, YOU DOPE?! OF COURSE I’M GONNA EAT IT!!!” she roared.
Demyx blinked, then looked at the ceiling, thoughtfully. Suddenly, he began licking his hand, rapidly.
Larxene stared at him, completely confused. “What are you—”

He spit into his hand until it was soaking wet with his saliva, and then slammed his hand down on her steak, grinning wickedly.
“HEY!” Larxene shouted, glaring at him.
“Ya still want it?” he asked, innocently.
Larxene growled. “Why you little…!”

Suddenly, she picked up the steak, and slung it at his head, with a furious scream.
“YAH!” Demyx ducked at the last minute, making the steak fly into the back of Axel’s head.

“And, I swear! It was like… Huh…?” Axel stopped in mid-sentence, feeling a slight nudge on his head. He turned around to Demyx. “What do you want?”

Xaldin stared at the back of Axel’s head. There, skewered on the sharp spikes of Axel’s red hair, was a big, juicy, perfectly seasoned steak.

“BWAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!” Xaldin slumped down on the table, pounding it with his fist, and roaring with laughter. Vexen heard him laughing and turned around to see what was going on. He took one glance at Axel head, and started cracking up just as loud.

Axel blinked, and turned around, puzzled. “Huh? What is it? What’s so funny?”

Demyx stared at the steak stuck on the back of Axel’s head, glanced at each other, and began laughing at him, too.
Axel turned back to them, smiling a little. “What is it?! WHAT IS IT?! WHAT’S SO FUNNY?!” he asked, not wanting to be left out of the joke.

Seeing the steak on the back of Axel’s head again just made Xaldin and Vexen laugh that much harder. Xigbar looked over in morbid curiosity, and started cracking up, also. He nudged Luxord, who was right in front of him. He looked over, too, and cracked up, also, making Marluxia crack up.

Axel looked back to them. “What??? WHAAAAT?????” Him turning around made Larxene and Demyx laugh harder, which made Roxas look over and… Well, in no time, the whole Organization was laughing at the poor pyromaniac.

Axel looked around, confused, still not getting what was so funny. That’s when he realized; they were all laughing at HIM!

“Oh crap…” he whispered. He looked around, blushing. “Wh-What is it…?” He ran his fingers over the top of his head, missing the steak by a mile. “Is there something in my hair…?”

This just made everyone laugh even MORE. Axel glanced around, confusion and panic in his eyes. “What? WHAT?!”

We’ll leave them for now, all laughing at the poor, unfortunate redhead who had no idea there was one of his masterpieces attached to the back of his head.

************​

Axel had his arms crossed and was grinning at Xaldin. They were back in the kitchen, a stack of dishes beside the sink, just screaming to be washed. Xaldin was looking down at the floor, pressing his two index fingers together, and not saying a word.

Axel smirked, drinking in his victory. “Well, Xaldin…? You know what you said before…” he said, slyly. “In the end, ALL of my steaks were gone… But look!” He motioned to one of the trays, “You still have, like HALF, of your last precious chicken left…”

Xaldin sighed a little. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He straightened up, took a deep breath, and said, “You are the true Fire Chef, and whatever...” He took off his precious hat, and plopped it on Axel’s head. “Here’s Ze Poofy Hat of DEWM, as promised.” He laid his hands on Axel’s shoulders. “I have taught you well, young grasshopper.”

Axel beamed. “I learned from the best.”
“Yeah, well…” Xaldin turned around, crossing his arms again. “Just go on before I change my mind about washing the dishes. Go on – go play video games with Roxas and Demyx, or something.”
Axel laughed, and took off.

Xaldin turned back a little, and smiled, rolling his eyes up to the ceiling. “Okay, let’s see here…” He looked at the pile of dishes. Suddenly, the pile grew into a mountain of dishes, all dripping with BBQ sauce and smeared with dried up mashed potatoes.

He groaned. WHY did I have to say that the loser would wash dishes by himself?! he screamed in his head. He glanced around. There’s gotta be SOME way I can sneak out of doing all of these! He glanced around, then caught sight of the tray with the chicken in it. That was always the dish he hated washing the MOST.

Glancing around suspiciously, he grabbed it, and rushed over to the refrigerator. Uh-oh… No room in here… He thought, looking around. He glanced around a little more, biting his lip, when he caught sight of the oven.

He stared at it a while, then crept over to it. Not to worry, Xaldin… he though to himself. It’ll only be for a few hours… It’ll be okay. It’s simple – I’ll come back for it around midnight, and wash it then! Not to worry… No big deal, you’ll remember…

He opened the oven door, quietly, slipped the chicken in, and closed the oven door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dum, dum, duuuuuuuuum... <insert impending doom here>

>.> Trouble... Yes, I know.

I just noticed this, but YES, when Axel recieved Ze Poofy Hat of DEWM, he had already gotten the steak out of his hair. XD

Just incase you were wondering. XDDD

STEAAAAAAK!!!! Got it tenderized? >3

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.

--EDIT--
The next part is FINALLY up! XD;

 

*mouth is watering,listens to stomach growling louder than Saix in beserk mode(lol)*man,all that food talk got me hugry!and I just had steak for dinner too.

 

THAT WAS HYSTERICAL!!!! I loved the 'Got it tenderized?' thing!

*dies laughing*

 

LOL LOL that is halarious!!!hahahahaha!!!i almost died when he said,got it tenderised??LOL LOL LOL LOL just thinking about the organisation literally LOVING food like they were in poverty!!!HA!!!!!XD wait till my brother hears this ne!!!llol

 

Thanks for liking it, guys! =D

It was fun to make! ^-^

Now for the REALLY fun part.... >3

 

lol xDD rlly funny gonna read it again

 

:D

Awww... It looks like some people didn't like Axel's new dew... =\

Oh well. XD Can't please E'ERYBODY. XD

Dunno when part 2 will be up - give it some time...

After all...

School starts back on Monday... TT^TT

.................

*sob*

 

*stomach growls*um,you would happen to have any meat,right?
Sora:Carnivore.
Its not my fault!I'm %10 Golden retriever.Dogs love meat!

 

And so does Marly! =D

Can't forget about Flower Power. =3

 

XD, This really is too funny.

Which is TOMMOROW. *Whines*

 

Yes, I know! DX

*whines with you*

Thanks for the complement, by the way... XD;

 

Gawd! Dont remind meh!!

But i get ANOTHER week off cause i get no Feb Vacation!!

*ebil laugh*

 

Oh, you lucky bish! XDDDD

 

I can't wait until Summer Vacation.

 

*was thinking the same thing* -_-;

Wow, we get off one break, and, immediantly, we start waiting for the next one... XD;

Sorta makes you wonder why we're wasting our lives waiting, don't it? ._.;

*has no idea where that came from*

 

Yay for waiting!!!!! *goes and waits for something....* :P

 

LOL!!! I LOVE IT!!! Got It Tenderized? Heh,I liked that line! Good job!!

 

Thank ya, thank ya kindly. ^-^

 

Lol My School Starts On Tuesday!!!great Thing Btw Lol
*dies Laughing*

 

Ohmygawd - FINALLY!!!! XD;

Phew! It's been a WHILE, hasn't it, folks? XD; It took a while, buuuuuuut, I finally got this stupid story updated... XD;

Writer's block is the worst, ya know...? -_-;

NOW! I've sent this first part through many people for proof-reading, but I just got the last part finished tonight. (HA! I KICKED YOUR BUTT, FANFICTION!!! >=D BWAH HAHAHAHAHA--)

Moving on.

This first part has got to be the randomest part of a fanfiction that I've ever made... Ever.

I hope your brain is gonna make it! XD;

2Foxxie4U's Irrelevant \ Sleep Deprived Productions~

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Three days later…

I had no idea where I was. It was strange… Like a sea… Like a sea… Of…

Cheese.

And I was swimming though it like a person normally would be swimming through water. In the background, I could hear the Blue Danube Waltz playing.

Ha… Background music…

My mouth was open as I swam. I think I was eating… Uh… DRINKING the cheese as I swam. That’s when I noticed a nacho chip swimming past me.

Yes. Swimming.

I grinned, rushed up to it, and snatched it up in my mouth. But, by then, a whole SCHOOL of nachos were swimming around me! I grinned, looking around, and began swimming around, frantically catching the nachos in my mouth as I went. The music was speeding up as I dashed around, frenzily trying to catch the nachos. The music reached a crescendo…

And…

Suddenly, I was on land. A grassy meadow to be exact. I blinked, broke off a blade of grass in my fingers, and stuck it in between my teeth, smiling. I sighed, and fell back on the grass, with my hands folded behind my head. I closed my eyes, and I guess I was gonna go to sleep, when I heard someone call my name…

“Luxooooord…!”
“Luxoooooooooord!”
“Wake up, Luxooooooooord…!”
“Yeah, wake up…!”

I sighed, annoyed, and cracked open one of my eyes. I saw Axel and Demyx standing above me, with idiotic grins plastered on their faces. There was something different about them, though… Demyx’s Organization cloak was a light purple, while Axel’s was a hot pink – and their hair was the same color of their cloaks, too. Their eyes were really wide and sparkly. And there were these… THINGS on their foreheads – they sorta looked like really skinny cones or something.

I sighed again. “What do you dimwits want?” I asked in a gruff voice.
Demyx clapped his hands together. “Candy Mountain, Luxord!” he exclaimed, grinning.
“Yeah! We’re going to Caaaandy Moooountain!” Axel echoed, grinning in the exact same way. Their voices sounded different, too. They were abnormally high and kinda… Airy. Like they had been sniffing one of Marluxia’s weird-*** plants. Hmmm… Where had I heard them before…?

I blinked, and rubbed my eye. “Whu’…?”
“Let’s go to the Candy Mountain, Luxord!” Axel exclaimed. “It’s filled with loooove, and sweeeets, and chocolaty gooodneeeeess, and, and… Stuff!”

Wow. Stuff.

“Yeeeeah!” Demyx chimed in. “It’ll be an adventure…! And… All… Adventure-y!”
I blinked. “Uh, yeah. Have fun with that. I’m just gonna go back to sleep—”
“NUUUUUU!” Demyx began jumping on my stomach like a monkey on crack. “You have to come with us, Luxoooord!”
“Yeah! Caaaandy Mountain…!”
“Candy Mountain, Luxord!”
“ALRIGHT, I’LL COME!” I screamed, tired of Demyx jumping on me.
“YAAAAAY!” Axel and Demyx cried, hugging each other.

I got up, and we began walking in some random direction. While we walked, Axel and Demyx started singing “Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight”.
“I’m soooo haaappy…! Ah-ha! Happy-go-lucky meeeee!” Demyx sang, grinning. He summoned his sitar, and began plucking the strings. “I just go my waaaay! Living everydaaaay!”
Axel joined in. “I don’t woooorry! Worryin’ don’t agreeeeee! Things that bother yooooou… Never bother me!”

Suddenly, the two began dancing to the music that seemed to be coming from nowhere. Then, they started singing as loudly as humanly possible together, “Things that bo-ther you nev-er bo-ther me, I feel happy and FIIIINE! Ha-ha! Liv-ing in the sun-light! Lov-ing in the moon-light! Having a won-der-ful tiiime! Haven’t got a lot! I don’t need a lot! Coffee’s on-ly a DIIIIME! Liv-ing in the sun-light! Lov-ing in the moon-light! Having a won-der-ful tiiime!”

They stopped singing for a few seconds as the piano started playing a few keys and the music went to the bridge. They never stopped dancing, though. Axel began singing first. “Juuuust take it from meeeee, I’m just as freeee as any daughter!”
Demyx joined in with a, “I do what I like, just when I like, and how I looooove it!”

They started dancing once more as the music went back to the chorus. “I’m right here to say, when I’m old an’ gray, I’ll be right in my PRIIIIME! Liv-ing in the sun-light! Lov-ing in the moon-light! Having a won-der-ful—”

I couldn’t take it anymore. “Would you PLEASE stop singing?!” I snapped.
“SHHHHH!” Axel hissed.
“Yeah, Luxoooord! Quiet! Now, we approach the first sign of Candy Mountain!” Demyx exclaimed.

He pushed back a branch blocking our path, and I got my first good look of the “first sign” of Candy Mountain. It looked like a huge cheeseburger with little eyes drawn on by ketchup on its top bun. The “eyes” appeared to be closed.

I walked up to it, blinking. “Uh… What the hell IS it?” I asked.
“It is the Great Beef-O-Saurous!” Axel cried, running up to where I was.
“The Great, MAGICAL Beef-O-Saurous!” Demyx added, grinning.
“It will tell us the waaaay…”
Demyx walked up to it, his hands held high. “Oh, Great, Magical Beef-O-Saurous! Tell us! What is the way to Candy Mountain?”

We looked up at the “Great, MAGICAL Beef-O-Saurous” for a couple of seconds, expectantly. Nothing happened. I scoffed. “Welp… I’m pretty sure that it’s not gonna—”

And, wouldn’t you know it, at that moment the huge burger’s bun flew up, and the thing ROARED at me! I shrieked, and ran behind Axel for protection. The two idiots were just standing their with those weird-*** grins STILL plastered on their faces. After a while, the roaring stopped, and the bun went back down.

Demyx whipped around, waving his hands in the air. “THE GREAT, MAGICALL BEEF-O-SAUROUS HAS SPOKEN!!!”
“THE GREAT, MAGICALL BEEF-O-SAUROUS HAS SPOKEN!!!” Axel echoed. With that, they started marching off in some random direction.
I blinked, and ran after them. “Uh… Guys…! I don’t think it said anything—!”

Suddenly, we appeared at a rickety bridge towering over a huge cliff. “C’mon, Luxoooord!” Axel sang. “Candy Mountain isn’t too far now…!”
“Is anyone else getting splinters in their feet?” I whined.
Demyx looked back at me with those huge eyes. “Luxoooord…!” he whispered loudly. “Luxoooord…! Luxoooord…! Luuuuuuuxoooord—”
“I’M RIGHT HERE!!! WHAT DO YOU WANT, YA NUMBNUT?!?!?!” I exploded.
“Candy Mountain, Luxooooord!” he exclaimed, starting off across the bridge again.
I sighed. “You guys DO realize that there isn’t really a Candy Mountain, right?”

The two Nobodies stopped abruptly and turned back to stare at me in unison. The air was smothered with the first silence I had heard ever since I had come across Demyx and Luxord.

I blinked, sensing tension. “What?” I asked.
Demyx and Axel looked at each other silently. Then, they turned back to me. “Shuuuun the non-believeeeeer…” Demyx breathed.
“Shuuuuuuun…” Axel echoed. They started shuffling toward me with now expressionless faces.
“Shhhhhhhhhun-nnnnnnnnuh…”
I stepped back a little, arms raised in a non-threatening way. “Hey, what’re you—”

They seized my coat, still hissing, “Shuuuuuuuuunnnnn……”
I was seriously starting to get scared. “Look, sorry, I—”
That’s when the two grabbed my coat collar, and pushed me off the edge of the bridge!!!

I screamed, as I freefell down the cliff. I thought for sure that I was done for! Suddenly, I saw something beside me falling, too. I looked, and it was…

AXEL AND DEMYX?!

I did my classical blonde “WTF?!” face. “WHAT ARE YOU TWO—?!”
Axel grinned as if he nothing had ever happened. “We saw you falling…”
“So we jumped off, too, to save you!” Demyx finished, grinning the exact same way.

But – wait… WEREN’T THEY THE ONES WHO PUSHED ME OFF THE FRICKIN’ CLIFF IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

And… Even MORE importantly…

“HOW IS YOU TWO FALLING OFF THE CLIFF, TOO, SUPPOSED TO HELP ME ANY?!?!?!”

Axel and Demyx looked at each other. “Uuuuuhhhhhh…”

Before they had time to answer, we all crashed into the ground, headfirst. I fell on my back, and rolled up into an Indian-style sitting position. I rubbed my head tenderly. “Ow…” I grumbled, not even wondering how I’d managed to fall from that great height and STILL be alive.

But, by that time, Axel and Demyx were already on their feet. Now they were even MORE hyperactive than before!

I didn’t think it was possible…

“HURRY, Luxord!” Axel squealed.
“YEAH! Candy Mountain is just up ahead!” Demyx cried, pointing in some random direction.

Before I had time to look up, they had already taken off through the forest! I sighed, and climbed to my feet. Wearily, I started trudging after the two dopes.

I could hear the music blasting from a few yards away. It sounded kinda… Familiar…

“Four! Tres! Two! UNO!”

I pushed back a little branch from a nearby tree, and came out at a clearing of some sort. There were colorful disco-ball-like lights dancing around, making the scene look more like a rave than anything else. Axel and Demyx were off to the side, cheering and dancing. In the middle of the clearing, there was a large, reddish mountain. It actually looked like someone had just dumped a pile of bricks and ran. On the top, there were bold, purple letters that read “Candy”.

I blinked. “Well what do ya know… There actually IS a Candy Mountain…!”

There was a person on the top of the mountain, wearing an outfit much like Willy Wonka’s and twirling a life-sized candy-cane around on one hand. I noticed that, even though he had on the pants and the coat, he didn’t have a shirt on. He had his back turned, so I couldn’t see who it was.

“Listen up, ya’ll… Cuz this is it! Da beat that I’m bangin’ is DE-LI-CIOUS!” sang Axel and Demyx.

The guy on top of the mountain began singing with his back still turned. “Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco… They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo…”

Huh… His voice seemed kinda familiar, even when he was singing in an imitation of Fergie’s voice… I know I’ve heard it before…
I turned to Axel and Demyx. “Who is that guy?” I whispered.
“The Candy Man…” Axel whispered back. He didn’t take his eyes off the mountain.
I blinked. “Who…?”
“You should know…”

The man suddenly whipped around, showing one perfect, golden eye, and immediately I knew who it was. A huge grin cracked my face in two. “H’oh my gawd, IT’S XIGGY!!!!!” Immediately, I began cheering twice as loud as Axel and Demyx put together.
He grinned, winked at me, and continued singing, “… But, I ain’t promiscuous. And if ya was suspicious… All that **** is fictitious…”

I looked back at Axel and Demyx, grinning like crazy. “Iunno about YOU guys, but I’m going up closer!” Without waiting a second longer, I started dashing towards the Freeshooter. I didn’t have to turn around to know that Axel and Demyx were following me.

As soon as we were right at the foot of Candy Mountain, Xigbar began singing the chorus of the song. “So delicious…” Suddenly, the top of the mountain exploded and started raining candy. Axel whopped and grabbed a candy bar as tall as he was, and started munching on it. “You’re hot, HOT!”

“So delicious…”

“YEAH!” Demyx jumped up, grabbed a lollypop as big as a basketball, and began licking it happily. “You put us boys on rock, ROCK!”

“So delicious…”

I caught two Reese’s that were as big as dinner plates in my hands, and joyfully stuffed them in my mouth. “We wanna taste of what you got!”

“So delicious – t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty…!”

As he started on the second verse, I could see him stretching out his hand towards me. I blinked dumbly, and pointed at myself, confuzzled. He grinned, and nodded. I squealed and took his hand, giggling.

He pulled me up, as he started singing, “Fergalicious, definition: make them boys go crazy! They always claim they know me, comin' to me – call me Xemmy! I'm the ‘X’, ‘I’, ‘G’, the ‘G’, the ‘I’, the ‘E’, and can't no other ‘Member put it down. Like. Me! I’m Fergalicious…”

I’m still not sure how he pulled me up dozens of feet like that without even coming down, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t care, either.

I grinned for the umpteenth time, and looked back down at Axel and Demyx. They were laughing and spinning around happily, dancing in the colorful rain of thousands of Skittles. Axel had his mouth wide open, trying to catch them in his mouth.

I looked back to Xigbar, but his back was now turned. I be UP in the GYM, just working on my fitness! He's my witness!”
“Ooooooh, WEE!” I whooped happily.
“I put yo' boy on ROCK, ROCK! And he be lining down the block just to watch what I got!”

That’s when I noticed something… Different about the back of Xigbar’s pants. At first glance, they didn’t look anything special, but when he looked carefully, he could see that they had the design of an all black button with a bright green triangle on it. And, the weirdest thing was, was that there were floating, green lines fading in and out along with the words “Smack That! ;D”. I noticed that the lines formed a triangle around Xigbar’s butt.

A sly grin split my face as I slowly licked my palm.

I mean… who was I to disobey the magical floating words?

IT WAS BUTTON MASHING TIME!!!!!!

I pulled back my arm as far as it could go… And was about to let it fly…

When…

“ALERT, ALERT! SOMEONE’S RAIDING THE STASH!!!”

What the…?!

“ALERT, ALERT!”

Who WAS that?!

“SOMEONE’S RAIDING THE STASH!”

********************​

Luxord’s eyes snapped open, the last few lines of Xigbar’s song still echoing in his head. He was in his bed, wrapped up in his pitch-black blankets. His arms wrapped around one of his pillows, and he was in the middle of gnawing on the edge of it like it was a gigantic marshmallow. His laptop was lying a few inches away from his body. It was still open, too.

He gasped, scanning the room quickly for a second. Then he sighed, rubbing his eyes, obviously irritated.

“ALERT, ALERT! SOMEONE’S RAIDING THE—”
“Shut UP, ya stupid…!” The blonde began smacking his alarm clock repeatedly with his fist until it fell off the nightstand and the horrid shrieking cut off.

He collapsed back down, letting his arm dangle off the edge of the bed for a while. “Uhn…” he moaned. “Durn clock… Love the phrase, though…”

“…Honey, get some patience… Maybe then you'll get a taste! I'll be tasty, tasty! I'll be laced with lacey! …”

That’s when he realized that the music had never left. He blinked, and instinctly smacked his ear. Something popped out, and Fergie’s voice instantly got quieter. He stared at it, and realized that it was an ear-piece for his iPod.

He sighed. Well, that explains all of the random songs that popped out of nowhere…

He blinked, and looked over at his computer. The screen was black, but the monitor button was blinking – meaning it wasn’t completely off, just in standby mode. Huh… Must’ve fallen asleep on the computer again… He yawned, and started it up.

The first thing he saw was a window for Solitaire. He’d won… Again. No surprise there… But when he scanned the bottom, he found that there was another window up behind it. He opened it, and found an e-mail from Axel and Demyx.

It read: “OMG, this is SO frickin’ HILARIOUS! XD You HAVE to watch it, OK, Luxord?
P.S., Don’t tell Xemnas. We’re gonna be in deep **** if he finds out we’ve been goofing off on our computers AGAIN when we’re supposed to be “working” on them and stuff. >/

Un-Love,
~Axel and Demyx.”

Below the message there was a link for “Charlie The Unicorn.” Luxord shook his head. And THAT explains how weird Demyx and Axel were acting…

He pushed his computer off to the side, and jumped up from the bed. He had on black pajamas with shining silver dice and gleaming gold cars scattered over it. The word “Lucky” was set in fancy yellow letters right smack-dab on his butt.

The blonde stroked his chin a little, thinking. But… What about the Sea of Cheese and the swimming nachos, and the Great, Magical Beef-O-Saurous and Candy Mountain…?

His stomach answered that one for him. A low rumble erupted from his stomach, as if saying, “Feeeeeeeed meh, Luxord…!”

He rubbed his stomach a little, wincing. “Okay, okay, don’t worry, stomach… I’ll get some food in you quick, fast, and in a hurry…” he whispered, smiling faintly.

********************​

“IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”
“WHAT?!”
“PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”
“WHAT?!”
“PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”
“YEEEA-YUH!!!!!!”

Axel and Roxas danced out of the kitchen singing the Peanut Butter Jelly Song remix by the Ying Yang Twins. Roxas was the main on singing, and Axel was the backup singer. They were munching on PB & J sandwiches as they sang, making little bits of food fly out their mouths a little, but they ignored that little detail.

Axel was dressed in red matching pajamas with flames wrapping around the sides and black smoke occupying the whole top half of his top. Roxas had on a loose undershirt and bright blue shorts with clouds scattered all over them.

“Where he at? Where he at? (“I UNNO!” Axel screamed.) Where he at? Where he at? (“I UNNO!”) Oh, there he go! There he go (“WHO DAT IS?!”) There he go! There he go! (WHO DAT IS?!”) Peanut butt—”

“AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

A shrill cry echoed out from behind the two. They blinked, and turned around to see Marluxia storming out after them. A vicious snarl was plastered on his face and his fists were balled up. It was safe to say that he looked down-right TERRIFYING, even though he was garbed in hot pink pajamas with flowers all over it. And fluffy, pink, bunny slippers.

“Do you KNOW what that is that you’re eating…?!” came his ferocious whisper.
Roxas looked down at his sandwich, swallowed what was in his mouth, and innocently answered, “Um… A sandwich…?”
Marluxia snatched up the guy’s sandwich, squishing it in one hand.
“HEY!” Roxas protested. Axel swallowed what was in his mouth, too, and raised an eyebrow, confused.

Marluxia pointed at the jiggly purple substance oozing out. “Jelly…” he hissed.
Axel and Roxas both looked at each other. “… So…?”
“FOOLS!!!!!!” Marluxia thundered, whipping the mutated sandwich on the ground. “DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF TORTUOUS PROCESSES GRAPES HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO BECOME JELLY?!?!?!?!”
Axel and Roxas shot each other “WTF?!” looks again.
Axel shook his head, barely restraining a smile, and jeered, “Don’t be such a gay-tard, Princess Pinky!!!”

The two scrambled off, laughing, before they had the chance to be mauled by the Graceful Assassin. Marluxia pouted, glaring at the two as they ran off.

A few minutes later, Demyx drifted out of the kitchen, accompanied by Xigbar. The boy was happily jabbering on and on about random stuff that no one really cared about – stuff that you just PRETEND that you’re listening to. And that’s exactly what Xigbar was doing. He had a P.O.ed expression on his face that clearly read “I really wish I weren’t here right now…” Every few seconds, he’d nod a little to let Demyx know he was still alive, but his expression remained impassive.

Demyx was dressed in pajamas that started out a dark blue at the bottom, and faded to a light one at the top. In it, you could faintly see the traces of sea creatures and birds flying about. He was holding a glass of orange juice in one hand, and his “gangsta” bunny (he named it Mr. Fluffle Bubbles) in the other. The glass had little musical notes wrapping around it. He, also had fluffy bunny slippers, but his were a light blue.

Xigbar had on a long robe since he was too lazy to put on pajamas. The robe came down to the middle of his calves and was tied around his waist by a belt. It was simply solid violet colored and had no decorations whatsoever. He had a huge mug of coffee in one hand that read “I ♥ HB (crossed out) MAH GUNZ!!! (written neatly in purple Sharpie)” The other hand was nonchalantly jammed inside of his pocket. He had slippers to go along with his robe, but he couldn’t find them so he just wore socks.

“And then!” Demyx continued. “One time in band camp…! I—”
“I don’t get it…!” The two blinked, and turned their attention to Marluxia who was off to the side, whining to Vexen.

The Chilly Academic wore light blue pajamas with pictures of penguins, snowflakes, and igloos scattered all over them. On his back were the words, “Let it snow!” in fluffy white letters. His hands were clasped behind his back in a formal way as he stared at Marluxia.

“People ALWAYS seem to think, JUST because I wear pink pajamas, have a pink scythe, dye my hair pink, and elemental control of flowers and stuff, I’m automatically GAY!!!”

Vexen was the absolute WORST person to come to as consoler about something such as that. Especially with Marluxia being one of his most disliked neophytes. Without missing a beat, he answered, “You’re about as straight as your hair, Marluxia,” and strode off.

Marluxia blinked, thrown off by the speed of his come back. He stuttered, dumbly for a second, then shot back, “YEAH?! Well, at least my hair doesn’t look like a CHICK’S!!!”
Demyx popped out of nowhere. “YES IT DOES!” he squealed, before scurrying off.
“PWN’T!” Xigbar laughed, before running off, also.

Marluxia blinked again. His eyes narrowed into slits, his right one twitching slightly. He bared his teeth, growling, then screamed up at the ceiling, “DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!!!”

Furious, he stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him. He didn’t even bother to turn on the lights as he flew through the darkness. He collapsed on his bed, glaring into the darkness.

Damn them all… They make fun of me all because I’m different… Oh yes… Everyone laugh at the guy who loves flowers and wears pink… At least I’m not the same decaying organic matter as all the rest of them…

He rolled into a sitting position, and slowly wrapped his arms around his knees. They’re just jealous… Every last one of them… I’M the only one who can pull off wearing pink and STILL look awesome… His eyes flashed. What if… what if I ruled the Organization…?

He rolled the thought around in his head for a bit. Slowly, a sinister grin crept across his face. “Oh yes… I like the sound of that…” he whispered into the darkness. He summoned his scythe, and gently began stroking it, the grin becoming more and more twisted. “Yes… It’s perfect…” his whispers transformed into an icy hiss. “No one will be able to make fun of me or call me degrading names like ‘Princess Pinky’ anymore…! I’ll show them… I’ll show them all!”

With a hollow chuckle, he began forming his plans in his mind—

But that’s a different story. Now, where was I…?

Oh yes – the kitchen.

A few seconds after Marluxia had his little episode, a corridor of darkness appeared in the center of the kitchen. Xaldin walked out, wearing a black, loose, muscle shirt, and baggy green camo pants.

“Bweh hehhehhehhehhehheh… Lookit him squirm…”
“Hehheh… He’s never gonna get out of there…”

Xaldin raised an eyebrow and was met with the sight of Larxene and Saix bent over something on the kitchen counter and cackling evilly to themselves.

Larxene had on black pajamas that had lightning streaks in all colors of the rainbow scattered all over it; a shockingly bright yellow robe was loosely tied around the pajamas. Her hair was tied up in an off-white towel, but a few strands of her blonde hair managed to slip through the folds.

Saix was wearing navy-colored pajamas that had various decorations of the moon on it. It was very plain and straight-forward; it practically screamed, “I am Saix’s pajamas! PH34R M3H!!!!111”

Xaldin sighed, rubbing his temples. “Let me guess… You two have found yet ANOTHER unfortunate cockroach that has wandered into our castle and now are suffocating it with dish-soap, correct?”
Larxene glared at him, “What’s it to you?!” she snarled.
“Nothing… Nothing at all…” Xaldin sighed.
“Oh… And by the way, Xaldin…” Saix added as Larxene turned her attention back to the suffering insect. “Xemnas says it’s time to clean the kitchen again…”
“Aw, MAN! And, let me guess, I’m the one who has to take care of it, am I right?” Xaldin sneered.
“Yep. Better get on it,” Saix said indifferently as he turned back to his prey.

Xaldin sighed, and began straightening up the place, throwing away stray candy wrappers and carefully hiding any coffee containers out of Xemnas-reaching length.

After a while, the roach died, so Saix wandered off to take care of some “business”. Larxene stayed long enough to catch a fly, stick it in the microwave a few minutes (“BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! It’s hot, ain’t it?! AIN’T IT?!”), and then went off to see if she could coerce Vexen into “experimenting” on some poor Heartless.

And then, there was one. Xaldin sighed, examining his work of art. The whole place sparkled like new – there wasn’t a speck of dirt anywhere. The man nodded, turning a circle carefully as he examined every angle of his masterpiece. “Right – if anyone of those idiots come clomping in here with their muddy boots and dirty hands, I’ll knock ‘em straight off the face of The World That Never… Huh…?”

There was ONE part of the kitchen that wasn’t completely spotless. The outside was covered in a layer of some thick, greasy substance that Xaldin didn’t even want to THINK about. And that was just the OUTSIDE.

“Bleck…” he retched, shuddering. “Well, I might as well clean it – it’s fuglyin’ up my kitchen.” He grabbed the “Fantastik!” lemon-scented spray, and started polishing away the grime on the outside of the oven. About 15 minutes later, it was sparkling as much as the rest of the kitchen.

He wiped his brow, then shrugged. “Might as well do the inside of the oven, too. Then I’ll be finished for good!”

The Whirlwind Lancer opened the oven… and blinked. “Huh…?” He slowly pulled out a pan with a half-eaten barbeque chicken in it.

He examined it for a few seconds, his eyebrow quirked. Suddenly, it hit him. “OH! This it from that cooking competition me and Axel had a few days back!”

He shoved it on the counter, sticking out his tongue. “No doubt it’s gone bad by now… I’ll ask Xemnas what to do with it.”

With that, he left.

12 seconds later…

Luxord dashed into the room, his head whipping around. I coulda SWORN my “Xigbar-Is-In-A-Robe!” senses were tingling! he thought, pouting. Oh well… They can’t ALWAYS be… He blinked. “Huh…”

He walked up slowly to the counter. “Isn’t that the chicken Xaldin made a couple of days ago…?” He examined it closely, stroking his chin, pursing his lips. “Has he been storing it in the fridge all this time…?”

A long silence. “It was pretty good, wasn’t it…?” His stomach roared in agreement.

“… Hee…”

********************​

Xaldin strode down the hallway, making his way to the kitchen a few moments later. “Man… I can’t believe this…” he grumbled to himself. “All I gotta do is THROW IT AWAY?! I was thinking maybe I could have launched it off the roof or something… Maybe even get Axel, and we could—OH MY GAWD!!!”

He turned around the corner to find Luxord gnawing on one of the leg bones of the tainted chicken. The rest of the bones were on a huge pile on his plate, picked completely clean.

He gnawed on the bone for a couple more seconds, then suddenly noticed he wasn’t alone anymore. He looked up to Xaldin, and blinked. He grinned, and waved the chicken bone around a little. “Well, HAY, Xaldin!” he shouted, mouth full.

A long, awkward silence.

Xaldin stared at him, eyes practically bugging out of his head, and jaw looking like it was almost hitting the floor. Then he looked down slowly at the bone yard on his plate.

Luxord followed his gaze down, then his head snapped up again. “OH! I’m sorry – were YOU about to eat this? I’m sorry – I didn’t know – ya know… Can’t be leavin’ food out like that, ma—”

“LUXORD…!” Xaldin hissed anxiously, clomping over to the blonde. He shoved his face into Luxord’s, teeth gritted. “TELL me you did not eat that chicken…!”
Luxord blinked, and smiled nervously. “Uh… Okay! ‘You did not eat that chicken’.”

The blood drained out of Xaldin’s face. He took a couple steps back, shivering a little as he stared at Luxord with a face that literally read, “Oh… My… God… What have I DONE?!”

Luxord chuckled a little, nervously. Heh… What’s the look for…? he wondered.

“Okay… Okay…” Xaldin gasped, running his fingers through his hair. “Don’t panic, Xaldin… Don’t panic… If you just make him lay down, and… AAAAGGHHHH! Xemnas is gonna KILL me, and—”

“Uh… Xaldin? What’s wrong?” Luxord asked, blinking.
Xaldin quickly snapped back to reality. “YOU! Go to your room NOW! Lay down, and have a trash can in grabbing distance! And, here!” He ran to the fridge, and handed Luxord a huge jug of apple juice and a couple of disposable cups. “Drink PLENTY of this!”

Luxord blinked. “Wait, wait, wait; hold on! What did I DO?!”
“I’LL TELL YA WHAT YOU DID!!!” Xaldin shrieked. “YOU JUST ATE CHICKEN THAT’S BEEN IN THE FRICKIN’ OVEN NOW FOR THREE DAYS!!!”
“… Tasted fine to me…” Luxord mumbled.
“Yeah, well, let’s just see how good it’s gonna taste goin’ back UP!” Xaldin snapped, pushing him out of the kitchen.

Luxord stuttered, clutching the cups and jug, to his chest. “Wh-WHU’?!” He tried to resist Xaldin, protesting. “I feel FINE! SERIOUSLY, Xaldin!”
“Yeah, let’s just see for how long…” Xaldin grumbled back. “Go into your room and STAY THERE until I figure out what to do!”
“But—!”
“THAT’S AN ORDER!!!!!”
“Alright, alright! I will!” Luxord assured. “Sheesh…”

With that, he portalled off to his room. Xaldin sighed, running though his hair once more as he fell against the wall. “Idiot… He has no idea what’s comin’ for him…” he muttered. “He…” A sigh. “We are in deep. Crap. Now…”

To be continued…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've always wanted to be an Organization pajama designer... :D

XDDDDDD

Okay, moving on. If you don't get the Candy Mountian reference, here's the link. Be cautioned - it's almost as random as I made it in Luxord's dream and might make your brain implode. XD;

It's a shame about Luxord, isn't it...? That's what was goin' on in the picture. Sorry, I dunno why the link isn't working anymore...

Meh... I'm tired, and my brain is shot from straining to break through this writer's block, so I'm just gonna shut up, now... X.x;

*collaspes on the ground*

Lord of the Wings,
~Leah.

P.S., GaNACO is up next! ;D *still needs to finish that*
P.S.S., Kudos to my friend Syd (Twilit_Shadow) for the idea to make Xigbar "The Candy Man"! XDDDD JOO ROCK!
P.S.S.S.,Yes. Xigbar is Fergalicious. Again. I SO totally had to go there. XDDDDD
P.S.S.S.S., I know this isn't the most popular of my stories, but here's part 3, anyways. XD