Lock and Key

I've told my real life friends about your story, if that's any consolation. This reminds me somewhat of Fullmetal Alchemist(the anime) in some parts. And well, every shonen that has an organization of military, and/or a weapon that can be unleashed. Heck, I always put in a good word for you, even when you sometimes reply with such moody replies. Though, your making something very original, it's not always you see a story that can be imagined as an anime so easily.

You always put yourself and your work down, and that's not being realist, it's being a pessimist. You really need to re-define the line that divides professionalism and us normal folk, 'cause it seems to me you could publish a book, in your current state. I'd certainly buy it. Sure, there's always someone who's better, but time doesn't allow us to be perfect, so don't put the things you do so much on the ground, your works don't deserve such diminutive treatment.

 

@Chev: You're odd, did you know that?(spelling it without the 'r' now are you?)
@Everyone else: I don't know who you are but I know you're reading this. That's pretty much it. Bye.


Door 23: Kirche

Everything was business as usual on the streets of Nadipolis. The from the dilapidation and squalor of the plebeian’s quarter to the metropolitan bustle of the nobility’s everything was in order. The street vendors that crowded the poorer streets filled the roadways with noise and crowds of customers practically fighting at times over simple commodities and foodstuffs. Many of the people had never had a job or even first hand experience with money, everything was done on a barter system where everyone scrounged up whatever spilled in from the outside and gave it to the vendors who would sell them straight back out again to pay for their only marginally more opulent lives and the goods that they carried on their worn carts and stands that they lined the streets with.

Those avenues hadn’t seen a single motor vehicle for years and would not see another for many more to come. In spite of the poverty and incontrovertible squalor Church found he liked it far more than the towering skyscrapers of the nobles’ residence as he walked through a clear patch away from the vendors and the shouting, fighting, and misconduct that their existence entailed. It could have been familiarity, but with the number of fond memories Church had with those things that he found familiar that was a highly improbable possibility. Whatever it was it wasn’t why he was in the city and was as such an unnecessary thought so he quickly pushed it from his mind and kept himself walking.

Eventually he came upon the exact store from he was looking for. Just from looking at it there wasn’t much to it but a pink and green lettered signboard weathered to the point that it was barely readable over a fairly plain front with darkened windows was all Church needed to know that it was the right place. Upon entering Church saw that the façade of innocence held, anyone else walking in would see the place as a normal bar. Still it was enough to see the man behind the counter to know this was anything but a place to buy drinks.

“Why does it always have to be a bar?†Church strode up to the counter and took a seat on the nearest stool. The man standing before him could very nearly epitomize the description, ‘slimy, weasely, snitch.’ Willie was in fact a perfect match to his appearance, seemed to be the only one around like that. But for the time being the weasel stood in complete shock and only barely forced himself to reply.

“Kirk. What’re you doing here?†He said in an urgent whisper as he closed the distance between himself and Church.

“Just checking on some things.†Church chuckled as he drew his head back a little, Willie had rancid breath and a set of yellowing teeth that always made talking to him in person a chore. At least there was not another soul in the bar to interrupt and eavesdrop.

“Do you know how hot you are on their radar right now?†Willie finally composed himself enough to ask his question in an even voice, though it still remained hushed and rank with fear and worry.

“I’m here so you can tell me Willie.†Church replied calmly. “How about a drink, you look like you need a drink too.â€

“Don’t screw around! The Chevalier de Sade himself came here to work me over not two weeks ago!†Willie had already instinctively begun to fill a glass when he replied and by the time he realized what he was doing it was half full. So he finished filling it placed it before Church and scowled at him reproachfully.

“How much did you tell them?†Church asked as he examined the thick, chipped glass of his drink.

“How much did I tell them?!†Willie repeated back. “They know everything! Everything! You are in serious trouble if they catch you here.†Church merely scoffed at him and pretended very convincingly that he was in fact drinking the beverage in font of him.

“I only told you what they should know.†Church smiled with an unnervingly convincing look of happiness as he spoke.

“What?â€

“You’re a real pro. Everyone knows about you by now so it’s pointless to get the important stuff from you.†The allure of using information brokers like Willie was that they knew everyone in the business and on top of that had the gutlessness to spill all they knew on them. Keep them more afraid of you and they’re yours, lose that fear and they’re too weak to defend themselves from your liquidation. However, Willie still had some usefulness to be exploited before Church was ready to see him die yet. That’s why he’d taken such pains to lose his tail before even thinking about coming to the bar he now sat in.

“You mean everything--†Willie was in total shock and disbelief as he spoke but before he could begin hyperventilating Church cut in and took control of the conversation again.

“Was a ruse? Of course.†Church chuckled to himself, it was fun watching Willie squirm. “Of course I want you to tell them this when they come by again.â€

“So what did you really want to check up on?†Willie asked incredulously.

“Their movements. You said a few weeks ago?†Church said raising an eyebrow.

“Fifteen days. They showed up at night like usual and I didn’t get back ‘til three days later!†Willie practically shouted to the empty bar.

“He’s serious, that cheeky knight.†Church replied almost amusedly.

“He’s always serious.†Willie glowered.

“Don’t freak out so much. It’s unsightly.†Church reprimanded him with a wag of his finger.

“If he got his hands on you then you’d be just as nervous as I am.†Willie spat.

“He won’t. You told him about every mark I asked you about. Half of them have been hit and the other half haven’t, they’ll obviously be looking at your info and extrapolating my movements so I just have to rearrange my movements.†Church stated plainly despite the fact that it was a bold faced lie.

“Easier said than done! They’ve closed all the info channels that they can. You can’t find a decent information broker in Esher that hasn’t been silenced, or cut off or killed!†Willie was on the verge of losing it again, he always had short episodes when under stress and started making up whatever he could to make himself blameless.

“You’ve been cut off? I highly doubt that.†Church shook his head knowingly.

“Effectively, I go for my contacts and they’re under the crosshairs before me and I’m suddenly out of business!†Willie retaliated harshly. He’d begun to even gesticulate, it was about time for Church to think about leaving once the arms started flailing.

“I see. Well, have fun with that I need you to look up something for me.†Church said returning to his calm and businesslike tone to cut off Willie’s hysterics.

“A decoy?†Willie asked suspiciously. As easily as he’d gotten into his tizzy he was straight out of it again. It was enough to make Church laugh but he knew that would only lead things down a bad road so he contented himself with a sigh.

“Both a decoy and a real job.â€

“I’ll see what I can do.†Willie lied. He was a bad liar for an information broker but it was convenient at the very least.

“You should know this off the top of your head since you’re my point of contact.†Church said ignoring Willie’s grimace.

“What?†The grimace stayed.

“Was anyone else being searched for? Any other bounties put up?â€

“Four new bounties including the up on yours showed up related to a case they call Chainsaw Man. I have no clue what is going on other than that.†Willie wasn’t lying this time but something had made him nervous again.

“You should know priority at least.†Church picked at it, there was more to it than the bare facts.

“Top secret, the lot of it. I only found out because of some assistant with no experience that the Chevalier brought along.†Though Willie was quick to admit anything, it didn’t necessarily mean it was true.

“I see. So they‘re interested in him too…†Church closed his eyes and smiled in thought.

“Kirk, you know I hate that look.†Willie told him nervously.

“I know the other three bounties that have been put out. I just need to know who’s in charge of each case directly to act.†Church finally replied, opening his eyes and leaning back.

“You want me to dig?†Willie sighed exasperatedly.

“If at all possible. If they come for you again don’t tell them anything about this job that would connect it to me; say it was for a man named Artorius.†Church took a look back at the front window. Still no sign of the tail, though it couldn’t be too far behind him at this point.

“Who?†Willie asked dumbly.

“It’s a perfect fall don‘t worry about more than that.†Church smirked, he would get his revenge on that guy sooner than he’d hoped.

“I’m not worrying about you.â€

“Wouldn’t expect it. Well, I think my tail has caught up so just lay low for a while.â€
Church said casually as he pushed his stool from the counter and prepared to leave.
“What should I expect?†Willie asked, he looked quite flustered and worried but it was all that could be expected of him.

“Thumbscrews.†Church licked his lips as he spoke to accentuate his point. “Ciao.†Church half expected Willie to say something but alas, he wasn’t in such luck. So he lazily dropped a few bills for his untouched drink and walked out into the blinding sunlight. With a hand shielding his eyes he quickly scanned the area to his satisfaction and turned back in the direction he’d come from. The tail hadn’t really caught up but they’d notice it if he passed Willie’s place for sure. So he’d have to double back and make sure that he made another stop to let them collect another data point and anticipate his moves. Moves that he never would make all of his jobs were finished in spite of what he’d told Willie and all that was left was to deliver the last piece of the puzzle to his home base. After that he hadn’t planned much more than hiding underground for ten years. Suddenly Church came upon the place he was looking for, unlike Willie’s it was a permanent fixture of the city and also unlike Willie’s it was a burned out residence in considerably worse shape. Church entered through the remains of the doorway and found himself in a familiarly broken home. It was where he’d found Copper Scythe.

Children lined the cracked walls, the little things looked all like death, the areas where the roof had caved in and let in sunlight even more clearly depicted their emaciated sordid forms. Some sucked on the remains of their meals from last week from the garbage they’d found it in, others didn’t have that luxury. Each looked up at Church with hollow, dead eyes and most slumped back against the walls after a brief glimpse of him others tried to reach out and plead silently for sustenance. Church simply shook their raggedly clothed skeletal arms aside and continued on further into the house.

Eventually he found what he was looking for, a single door. It was set up in the middle of what was once probably a bedroom and was the one thing in the house that Church recognized as totally familiar. It hadn’t changed in the slightest since he left, it was the same peeling yellow door with the remains of what appeared to be a flower print around the center. Church scoffed at it, the first door he’d gone through when he left home brought him to that room, it was total chance and yet he still felt a vague connection with the place. Church quickly drew his map key when he heard heavy footsteps below, he had to let them know exactly where he was going this time. This time he wasn’t going to lose anything.

On the other side of the door was a simple room that looked to be the exact reverse of the one he’d just left. Everything about it was kept well in order and normal. That was because it was his own home in a another life when he had worked for the Escherian government he was a different person and this place reminded him so bitterly of that experience.

“I’ve come here to reminisce.†He said to the voice activated computer he’d installed.

“Recognized.†Replied the computer in a low rumbling timbre.

“Walsh is good as dead guys, so why not ease up on the search?â€

“Sharpe.†A voice from behind him filtered through the metallic interference that plagued the disused line.

“So you guys do keep tabs on this line. Good to know.†Church laughed, it was one of his former colleagues that he'd stolen a particular tome from. There couldn't have been a more perfect person to use for this particular conversation.

“What do you think you’re doing?†The man asked sharply. He was , understandably, keeping his guard up.

“Telling you where I am of course.†Church replied plainly.

“Are you joking?†The man's voice shook with what could have easily passed as anger.

“In a way, I am.†Church smirked, no one could see it but he had a feeling the man on the other end would know it.

“Cut to the chase.†He finally answered.

“Oh how very ten years ago of you. I was getting to it when I was rudely interrupted and now I don’t feel like talking anymore, maybe I should cut off the line. Does that sound good?†Church threatened goodnaturedly. “Thought not. Now take a close listen to this Nils. I am unaware of your plans but I somehow get the feeling that what I posses is what you desire and I also get another feeling… do you want to here that one too?†Church asked with an exaggerated earnestness. “Of course you information staved bastards do. I’ll tell you then. You want the Murderer. That’s all for now kiddies, come and get me if you can find the right door.

"I doubt your tail can get in without a map key however so I’ll tell you how to get to this place so you can send one over to him. In the lower east end of the Nadipolis ghetto you’ll find a debunk orphanage full of skeletons. On the top floor a single door will be the way in.†With that Church made haste to unlock his door with his scythe’s key and check the world behind it. It was suitable given his knowledge of it and it wouldn’t be easy to find him after a random jump so he left the door open to that world and listened to the men physically on the other side of it.

“You’re surrounded.†A voice from a bullhorn declared authoritatively.

âLike I care.†Church walked through the door and left Nils and the special forces units around his home and on the other side of the true door many worlds behind.

Church found himself in Celien a world of antiquity and an easy place to lose yourself in the crowds of lock users on the run. It was a good hiding place while he waited for the next stage of his plan to enact itself and to begin contemplating the plans for after success or failure. The sea winds reached his nostrils and he instinctively buried his face in his sleeve. For the second time in a day he was in a place he’d once thought of as home.

So, thought Church, “It’s a bad day.â€





Quick Note: For those who don't get it, kirche is German for church.

 

Last update before I have to hang it up for the summer. It is also my last KHV release unless someone convinces me that it should be otherwise. I'll be setting up shop on fictionpress and editing past chapters for release into a hopefully larger audience. I do this because I haven't received critique on this or even many comments for some time now and I don't believe this is conducive to the betterment of the story. I may be wrong in doing this but nothign ventured, nothing gained. So I leave you with that my dear hypothetical reader.

Take note that I was lazy as **** when I wrote this so if there are flaws just tell me about them so I can go fix them up.


Door 24: Seek and Ye Shall Find

“Why do I always go for the one‘s I can‘t have?†Callum asked himself as he walked the streets of the Strip after sleeping on the wound from Bishops for nearly two days after Kanna left. He’d been given a spare shirt to replace the one that had been torn up in the fight but it was old enough to have been around when he was still spurting blood and it even looked like it had been in his unconscious possession as a sponge when his wounds weren’t closed in several places. Still, he was glad that he had something to wear even if it did make him look like a something of a serial killer.

The going was hard considering he could still feel the barely closed gashes on his chest throb with each heartbeat and he was beginning to feel ill with two day’s hunger gnawing at his stomach. He’d also picked up some money back when he was still in Central Enigma, but when he awoke in the Strip it had mysteriously disappeared and somehow he’d found himself without any means of telling where he was or where he was going. All he could think about was what he’d decided he’d have to do with Church and Kanna when the time came.

“When the time comes, huh?†No one was around during the day in the Strip, it was more than somewhat unnerving but as a night world everyone simply slept during the day and woke during the night. The only up to the eerie situation was that he could talk to himself and think aloud for once. When he’d been traveling with Church and Daniels he had to do everything in utter silence and secrecy. So he sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked on. Suddenly his fingers closed on a slip of paper.

“Annalisa.†Callum said as the memory of the assassin was called back from the depths of his mind. She didn’t seem like too bad a girl except for when she was killing people. That was a rather large qualification. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like there was something he had to do with her. It was then he decided to take a look at his hands. The hands that had changed his fate; from what? He wondered with an inward scoff as he continued scanning over the valleys and ridges etched into the skin of his hands.

They were rough and callused unlike they’d ever been before he entered Escher. A lot of it was probably from his training from Daniels in Central Enigma he thought. He hadn’t fought much other than that so it may have been fortunate in a way that he had fought Bishops. In doing so he had been able to see how much different a fight was when he knew what he was doing and how far along he‘d come. Then he scoffed at himself again, it wasn’t far enough apparently.

Suddenly Callum noticed there was someone else walking the streets as well. They were hiding themselves and their presence but Callum could still feel a small anima. It was something else actually. It most closely resembled what Daniel’s had told him superego felt. It was a useful side effect of the chainsaw, this ability. Cyril said most people had to practice a lot with a lock to synchronize with it enough to sense other presences that entered your field but he had also said that it was as if the saw was made for Callum.

Either way his tail wasn’t anyone he could recognize and he wasn’t in the mood for another fight. Callum took off at a jog just to see if he really was being followed. The presence held strong just at the edge of his range, so he took a turn down an alley and set his key in the closest lock he could find and opened the door.

Behind the dingy back door there was a very, very green looking forested world. Callum thought it looked unthreatening enough and dove through it locking it behind him as he emerged from a wall in the middle of the green woods he‘d been looking into. Callum noticed that he couldn’t have been too deep in the woods when he saw signs of smoke and a usable path. So Callum decided to take a leaf out of Daniel’s book and simply run in and try to make everything work out.

--

“Target’s been lost.†Cuan said into his headset that connected him directly to his sister a few blocks away. “Random jump has been made, returning to base to await further information.â€

“Clear. Contacting the transport crew.†She replied in her customary deadpan tone. Cuan sighed exasperatedly before replying.

“Clear.â€

--

“What are you doing here?†Was the first thing Callum was asked when he went into the town at the end of the path. Unlike the strip this rather green and mossy looking world he ended up in was very low to the ground and very busy during the daylight hours. The man speaking to him was an old man with white wispy hair in thick tufts around his eyebrows and a thinner upon his head. He must have been at least in his sixties, maybe older. Still he stood looking suspiciously up at Callum from his sage green vestments and slightly bent posture.

“Um…†The black haired boy was finally realizing why he’d never tried to emulate Daniels before: he was absolutely horrible with people. The two of them stood not five feet distant from each other surrounded by cobbled roads, small stone and dirt huts and edifices, and the sage green moss that seemed to grow on anything still for more than a few minutes and yet Callum felt that he was worlds away from the old man already. It was an unpleasant feeling to say the least.

“Out with it.†The man said insistently glaring at him and stepping closer to get a better view of him through his tiny spectacles. His beady eyes peered carefully at the boy, scrutinizing his appearance as if it would allow him to see into the depths of his soul.

“Nothing really, I just kinda ended up here.†Callum tried to explain without giving himself away. It was hard to think when someone was so focused on him like that and it only made talking to him even more painful.

“Don’t be tryin’ to feed my that.†The man said angrily as he closed the gap slightly by taking a few small arthritic steps on Callum who dodged back instinctively.
“I was running from someone?†Callum tried again.

“Who then?†The old man pressed both his inquiry and his advance.
“I don’t rightly know. I think they may have been from the casino.†Callum gave up and started spouting a slightly distorted truth while thinking of a way out of the mess he’d made for himself.

“Didja steal money then?†The man inquired almost instantly after Callum finished piecing together his sentence.

“Not that I know of, I had money stolen from me though.†Callum replied sheepishly, he stopped backing up when he realized that he had practically run into the wall of what was presumably the town public house.

“You’re a real useful one aren’tcha?†The man grinned and rolled his eyes sarcastically as he stepped within two feet of Callum, well inside his personal space and well outside his comfort zone.

“I’m sorry.†Callum apologized with a slight inclination of his head. The old man hit him over the top of his head sharply as he spoke.

“Don’t be goin’ an’ apologizin’ for every blessed thing.†The old man huffed with exaggerated irritation. Callum didn’t like him already, if he were a less patient person, which he suddenly wished he was, he would have walked away then and there. But he was patient and he did not walk. He simply stepped out from between the wall and the old man and tried to keep a presentable face on in spite of himself.

“I only did it once.†Callum corrected him as he rubbed his wound. For an old man, he hit hard.

“I know your type.†The man said knowingly. He also added in a slow continuous nod that just made him seem like a self righteous old fart.

“What type?†Callum asked with a hand ready to guard this time.

“Yours of course, of course!†The old man flew into wild gesticulations and shouting. It was unfortunate that there seemed to be no one else even slightly interested in removing the old man or even interrupting him.

“Can’t you just tell me where I am?†Callum sighed heavily with fatigue.

“You’re in Durandal, township of Sidhe.†The man answered plainly.

“Like the sword?†Callum cocked his head to the side in curiosity, it was one impulse he had trouble controlling.

The old man lightened his expression slightly at first, then totally went off on the second thread in an almost abrupt and tangential manner. “It’s the world where mystical weapons are forged. So in a way I guess you could say that.â€

“Uh, well I’m in a bit of a rough spot here--†Callum said rubbing his neck and trying his hardest not to screw up his second chance.

“Say no more, wayward travelers abound here, each lookin’ for something or other. The inn is over there, I run it so I’ll let you stay for a fair price.â€

“You remember how I said I had money stolen from me?†Callum said slowly and carefully, hoping against hope that this wouldn’t screw him over in a big way.

“But of course.â€

“I meant all of it.†The old man looked at him speechlessly. “Today.â€

“Can’t help, off you go, I‘ve got payin‘ customers to tend to.†Callum felt frail hands shoving him and shooing him away as the man shook his head disappointedly and muttering curses to himself. After Callum was a sufficient distance from his inn the old man ignored Callum and walked off in a slight huff.

“Sales pitch.†Callum whispered angrily as he watched the man uncaringly walk away from him along the cobbles to who knew where. Callum sighed and decided to go off on his own to find another place to stay and hopefully recuperate to a certain extent. Then he suddenly felt an arm on his shoulder, which he promptly ducked out from under to get a better look at the arms owner. The culprit was a short blonde haired man with a short beard not much older than Callum by his own reckoning.

“Sorry about him.†The man said with a genial smile. He had a friendly air about him but didn’t exactly seem too inviting in his too-much-like-the-old-man’s clothes.

“Huh?†Callum blurted out.

“Finn McCullough.†The man explained with a shrug of his narrow shoulders that were still not quite so narrow as Callum’s own.

“The inn owner.†Callum filled in the gap.

“My boss.†The blonde man completed.

“Does that mean you can help me or that you simply offer condolences?â€

“I can get you food and a place to stay.â€

“More than anyone’s been willing to give me for a while it feels.â€

“Well, come along then…“ He paused. “…name?â€

“Byron.†Callum quickly answered. Maybe a little too quickly.

“Alright then Byron.†The man replied without dropping the genial smile. With a wave of his hand they were off down the main street’s bumpy stone surface towards the inn. Callum wasn’t sure how to take it but followed anyways.

“So who are you then?†Callum asked curiously.

“Just a worker at Finn’s Inn. Egomaniac ain’t he?†The man laughed. Everything he did was happy or genial or gregarious in nature. It was more unnerving than the old man’s behavior for sure.

“I guess.†Callum said as he eyed the mossy stones beneath his feet more than he paid attention to his conversation partner.

“The name’s Francis McGee by the way.â€

“So what exactly is this town doing here?†Callum jerked his head back up to see the back of Francis’, it was fine he hadn’t seen the inattentiveness of his listener hopefully.

“It’s a spawn point for heroes. They oftentimes pop up here and stay for a bit on their way to a mystical locale. Right now we’re in the north Astheria region. Lots of questing warriors, knights errant, and general people who think they’ve got something to prove with a magical sword or something of that nature.†Francis explained with a hint of aggravation and bitterness in his voice that made Callum glad that he at least had the capacity to express things other than happiness.

“You sound totally thrilled with the setup.â€

“Don’t get me wrong, people can go and do whatever they want but they keep acting like they are all the gift of every god from here to Damascus. It gets a bit tiring you know?†He was happy again.

“I can see that.†Callum rolled his eyes slightly. It was a lot easier following Daniels who always dealt with all of the arrangements and knew exactly where he was going. It was easy to ignore it until it was gone. Still, Callum managed to muddle through on his own he thought as he entered the back employees quarters of the inn. I dark room with two squashy looking beds made of cushions clumped together unevenly. Everything looked shabby and well kept at once, it must have been rather old. Then the thin man spoke again as he designated and straightened out Callum‘s sleeping space.

“So you can stay here. It’ll be out of the way and Finn wouldn’t come ‘round here for any conceivable reasoning.â€

“Thanks. I’m kinda lost so it’s nice that there are people around who will actually give it a shot helping out a stranger.â€

“I was actually curious about that thing on your back, hoping for a trade of information for my generosity.†The man replied with the air of the guy that has to tell someone that they have a curable disease but too small a bank account to pay for it slightly apologetic but with more of a subtle anxiousness belying the entire thing.

“Everyone’s out for something. Well, I don’t see the harm.†Callum said dishonestly as he slowly drew the saw from it’s case and waved it around in front of McGee, who carefully examined and appraised the piece as if it were an antique or piece of artwork. He half looked like he would pull out a loupe and start rattling off dates and statistics about things made in the style, but he thankfully didn’t. “It’s a kind of weapon.â€

“Never did see one like this.†He said looking at it in awe. “And I do see quite a few edges pass through this town.â€

“I heard it’s one of a kind, practically made for me.†Callum explained, carefully evading the use of the words lock and key.

“Interesting, destined weaponry.†The man said stroking his beard thoughtfully as he went over to sit on his bed, it was a plain thing not unlike the one he‘d just finished setting up for Callum but there were a few personal effects about it that distinguished it from the blank canvas that stood opposite it. On a bedside table there was a picture frame with a family in it, presumably McGee’s, a leather bound book yellowing with age with the words ‘In All Holiness†stamped across the cover and finally a journal with a gold chain serving as a bookmark. It was impossible to tell what the chain was for, but it was thin and long enough to be a neck piece of some sort. Callum tore his eyes from the objects and sat down himself. The saw hung lazily from his grip across his legs just barely touching the wooden planks beneath his feet.

“Well, I did sorta make it after all.†Callum slipped up and instantly regretted it. Every time he got used to the flow of the conversation he would drop his guard a little too much it seemed.

“How’s that?†McGee asked with unrelenting curiosity bubbling up in his eyes.

“Don’t really know how to describe it, it was…odd.†Callum dodged. If anyone heard his real story it would probably get the garbage men back on him faster than he could do anything about it. In fact, even with warning he couldn’t do anything about it.

“Nothing in this world isn’t Byron.†The man chuckled knowingly. Everyone had that knowing thing going on in this world it seemed. Callum felt slightly stupid and very annoyed.

“Still getting used to it, I’m from the outside.†Callum chuckled with false amicability.
“That’s not terribly uncommon, especially nowadays.†The blond man replied slightly dismissively as he put his feet up and checked his leather boots’ condition.

“Nowadays?†Callum cocked his head to the side in spite of himself.

“You wouldn’t know this if you’re new, but most of Escher is controlled by a government that proclaims itself protector and sovereign of everything. Obviously, it’s a lot of bullocks and they know it but those bastards from The Empire don‘t give half a care.†McGee stood up and started pacing around halfway through his explanation. It obviously made him restless talking about it.

“The Empire, what’s that?â€

“One of Escher’s largest worlds. It embodies the worst thing in every society: imperialism.†McGee practically spat the words like venom. His previously calm and complacent demeanor had totally evaporated.

“I’m sure there are worse things--â€Callum began without thinking.

“You only say that because your family wasn’t killed in front of you because they worked in the wrong section of town.†The man said darkly. He dropped his head to the side and clenched his fists in frustration.

“I’m sorry.†Callum apologized softly as if being too loud would disturb McGee and only bring make things worse.

“Don’t take it too personal. I should be over it by now really.†The blonde haired man held his hand to his face momentarily before putting back on his mask of jolliness.
“No. I know what it’s like to lose family. It may not have been the same way but the fact remains that they’re never going to finish the life they started.†Callum tried to be compassionate, but the best he could come up with sounded just as depressing as leaving it alone if not more so to him.

“As fun as it is talking about the dead I have work to get to.†McGee replied with a slightly grateful smile.

“Alright then.†Callum answered as he watched Francis leave the room. He took that first opportunity to put his weapon away and take another look around at his surroundings. The room was partitioned as if someone had recently been living in it along with Francis. Callum wasn’t sure what to make of it but if it was Daniels there he’d probably go snooping to see if that assumption was right. However, Callum wouldn’t be staying long enough for it to matter later that night he had already planned on leaving. If he really was being followed it would be better to start over and try his hand at being inconspicuous again. Just as Callum was thinking about it he heard steps above him. Then voices. Someone in the inn was being rather conspicuous about something.

“You’re insane!†One shouted. It wasn’t possible to distinguish much more than that given the thick floorboards that separated the two rooms.

“Quiet down! Someone might hear you.†There was a scuffling about. Presumably one forcing the other back.

“Then start talking sense!†the sounds other than their words died down. Things had gotten more civil maybe.

“You need to calm down and look at this intelligently.â€

“You’re telling me to die essentially!â€

“No, I’m telling you to do what you’re paid to!â€

“That--that thing is a monster!â€

“The risk is high but you agreed to it before you heard about that so you’d better follow through on that if you want to live.â€

“Fine.†Then the voices died down and Callum stopped straining to hear the rough and unintelligible voices. For a time there was almost total silence. The inn was made of thick timbers all around and most of the walls were soundproofed to a certain extent so even the sounds of guests in the main lobby and other rooms were hard to hear as anything but an indistinct, distant rumble. With nothing to distract him the dull ache of his empty stomach and wounds began to overpower him again. In response Callum rifled through his pockets for the second time that day in hopes that it would keep him occupied until McGee came back, preferably with food.

His search yielded a key and few slips of paper. For all he’d done and seen, he had so little to show for it: his key that had dragged him into the world of Escher, Annalisa’s business card, Daniels’s training tips and tricks, and a photograph, the one that Daniels had insisted on taking when they had finished fixing the wall. Suddenly, Callum heard familiar voices on the other side of the door. They were indistinct at first but grew clearer and clearer as two pairs of loudly clopping footsteps brought them closer and closer. They stopped briefly before the door was thrown open and Francis McGee could be seen pleading with his boss about something only to be shoved aside by the crotchety old man.

“What are you doing here?†McCullough walked through the open door and was soon followed by a slightly rankled looking McGee.

“McGee invited me.†Callum answered wearily.

“I told you I could handle it Finn!†The younger man insisted futilely as he was thoroughly ignored by McCullough who kept his gaze fixed on Callum as he shouted.
“Get this useless lump out of my sight!â€

“I’m not useless.†Callum protested calmly. It was odd, whenever something like this had happened in the past he was really quick to overreact but this particular time he simply felt too tired to care about it much more than it took to force out an answer.
“Then what are you?†McCullough snorted.

“I’m a lock user. I’ll show you if you want.†Callum paused. Not because he wanted to think about what to say so much as to revel in the stupidity of what he’d already said. Maybe not caring wasn’t a good thing for him after all. Still he was going to stick with it, his mouth was dry, his head was sore, his wounds still pulsed painfully with each heartbeat, and the pain in his stomach was almost unbearable as it was. Holding himself back at that point just became an unthinkable solution for him.

“Like that makes a difference. I’ll beat you black and blue there you green little maggot.†McCullough taunted with an air of superiority and condescension.

“Sure you wanna mess with me old man?†Callum shouted back hoarsely. He stood up and reached for his chainsaw.

“Just bring it out there lad.†McCullough motioned to the case Callum’s hand was mere inches from opening.

“Though I hate beating an old man I still can’t feel much sympathy for you.†Callum smirked and drew as quickly as he could.

“What was that about beating me?†Before Callum could even see the move, or draw his weapon fully, Finn McCullough had drawn an impossibly long and thin sword from his vest pocket and placed its edge with delicate precision just lightly enough against Callum’s neck that it pierced only the very first layer of skin without releasing a single drop of blood.

“What--what is this?†Callum looked cautiously down at the blade and tried his best to edge away.

“My sword, Vorpal.†McCullough answered simply.

“You win I guess.†Callum admitted with a growl of his stomach.

“Can’t even lose gracefully can you lad?†Suddenly, McCullough was a normal old man again laughing with an avuncular manner as if the black haired boy had dome something incredibly amusing.

“I guess not.†Callum sighed in resignation, he suddenly felt like he was worse off with fighting than how he‘d started.

“Well you’ve got guts fighting in your condition at least.†The old man patronized. It would have hurt if Callum had enough of his facilities left to feel offended. At that point the just felt drained.

“My what?†Callum replied disbelievingly.

“I may be an old fogy now but in my day I was quite a fighter. Don’t think I can’t tell you haven’t had time to recover from that injury on your chest.†McCullough answered with a quick jab f his finger directly at each of the three gashes.

“You got me. I haven’t eaten or drunk anything for three days either.†Callum chuckled.

“Now you just sound like you’re begging.†The old man frowned and began pacing the dim room, inspecting everything with only cursory attention.

“Is that so wrong?†Callum shrugged without taking his eye off the old man. He was acting somewhat peaceable but a change wouldn’t have been terribly unexpected.

“Of course ‘tis. Nothing here is free, starting tomorrow you’ll be working off your expenses.†McCullough explained before turning his back to the two younger men and walking out.

“I get to eat now though right?†Callum confirmed hopefully. The sexagenarian stopped and replied in a stately tone without turning to look.

“Once you tell me how you managed to get your hands on such a strange weapon.â€

“Nothing but questions and inquiries with you guys.†Callum fumed with mild irritation. If it wasn’t one thing stalling him it was invariably another.
“Indulge an old man‘s curiosity.†McCullough said in a softer tone.

“If he indulges my hunger.†Callum shot back almost bitterly.

Callum sighed as he made peace with the decision to tell the other two men everything. “I made this lock by accident. Except strictly speaking it never becomes a lock it merely locks itself when it goes inactive.â€

“How did this accident happen?â€

“I found a key and stuck it in an ordinary chainsaw not knowing it would have this effect. That’s pretty much how it went.â€

“It’s less than sufficient but I won’t make you wait any longer.†McCullough waved his juniors on to follow.

“Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.â€

“I’d say you were just groveling if I didn’t know you really meant it.â€

“Oh, but I would grovel if it would get me food.†Callum replied with a hint of whine in his tone. McCullough shot him a dirty look as if he still disliked giving Callum anything without payment first. Still he led him brusquely on to the staff dining room, which consisted of a thick wooden table lit by lanterns like the rest of the inn and a door to the kitchen and a door to the back hallway, where Callum voraciously stuffed himself with all the food and drink that his thin body could handle without regard for the other people watching him as they attempted to have their own meals.

McCullough and McGee were the only one’s who worked the inn apparently and each had very peculiar ways of consuming their generic mess of foodstuffs. The older washed down every bite with twice the amount in some odd smelling liquor that Callum couldn’t recognize and the younger just picked at his food silently when no one was looking giving the illusion of it disappearing from his plate. Callum hardly paid attention to any of this until his own gluttonous activities were interrupted.

“Slow down, you’re still paying for every particle that passes those lips.†Callum suddenly regretted eating so much and fell silent. “Either way, I’m sure that you know that you’re still too weak to fight me even if you do recover fully.â€

“Yeah.†Callum admitted with a hint of sourness remaining in his mind.

“Ah the youth of today, what will we do with it?†The old man finally declared as if he’d had some manner of epiphany. It was clear that he was drunk to some extent from the way he moved and the slight slurring in his speech.

“Huh?†Callum was at a loss for words.

Finn McCullough simply looked at him turned to McGee and sighed heavily then screwed up his face and began shouting. “You were supposed to say, “Like hell I’d lose!†or something like that.â€

“I don’t like that kind of attitude. Either you can do it or you can’t, you judge it as best you can, do your best, and then it‘s over. Win or lose that’s how it goes so it’s better to at least be realistic about chances.†Callum replied with a quick shuffle away from the loud old man.

“No! That’ entirely wrong laddie! You should burst through reality and make your own!†He roared. If Callum hadn’t known about the thickness of the walls and ceilings he would’ve sworn people were woken up by the ruckus.

“Why the sudden interest in me anyways? You thought I was a useless lump not an hour ago.â€

“That was before I realized that I was right and you need to be reformed!†McCullough bellowed back as he stood up and flung his arm around Callum’s neck and brought him into a headlock. In major part due to McGee’s quick move to remove his employer Callum was freed without incident. Even so he took a seat farther away from where Finn was finally placed with his drink.

“He gets like this when he’s drunk.†McGee explained apologetically as he took his own seat again and resumed his close watch of the more than slightly red faced old man a few seats down from them.

“Oh.†Callum rolled his eyes with exasperation but left it at that.

“He used to be a great swordsman with a title, something like Summer King. He likes to act like he knows so much better than us because of that.â€

“I can hear you and I do know better!†Finn shouted as he made to stand again but failed due to his inebriated unbalance.

Callum stared at him blankly for a moment then tried to diffuse the situation and prevent more yelling and headlocks by changing the subject. “Fine, so you said I have to work until I pay you back. I really shouldn’t stay here too--â€

“You’ll stay here and work, if you go out into the world like that you’ll die!†The old man objected furiously. He looked like a knight who’d had his honor recently sullied and wanted some sort of reparations for it.

The black haired boy turned to McGee. “I don’t follow this man’s reasoning.â€

“This man was the August Emperor of Swords I’ll have you know!â€

“What?†Callum’s eyes were wide with surprise and the post dinner sleepiness that had begun to sink into him had vanished. There was something very strange in front of him in the form of a drunk old man.

“I said--â€

“No! I heard you! But that’s impossible.†Callum had begun shouting too by this point.

“It damn well ain’t!†McCullough objected indignantly.

“I met the last one. He was almost your age and I heard he’d had the title for over forty years. Unless you had the title as a child I can‘t see you being it.â€

“I had the title for under forty days.†He replied soberly with his head lowered and suddenly silent. Callum looked from him to McGee for some kind of explanation but received nothing but an equally confused shrug.

“What do you mean?â€

“He’s drunk, you can’t--†The blonde man jumped in suddenly.

“I’m not drunk, tipsy is all.†The man hiccuped.

“That’s drunk enough.†McGee reprimanded.

“’Tain’t funny McGee, now shush.†He said dangerously. “Now where was I oh yes the August Emperor of Swords title. I indeed defeated the previous Emperor and got the title with my own hands in my youth. I was but a mere boy of twenty four at the time. Anyways the tale goes like this you see. The old master was a one armed swordsman who used a huge sword that looked more like a gallery oar than a weapon he called it God’s Tooth in reality it was a mystical sword--â€

“Get to the actual story already I don’t need to hear about your glory days.†Callum said impatiently. If there was something to be heard it wasn’t anything about a sword.

“This is the most interesting part.†Whined McCullough who had finally gotten over his drunken rage.

“Indulge him if you’re curious I usually just walk away when he starts reminiscing.†The blonde man explained to Callum in a low whisper.

“Fine. Go ahead.†The black haired boy conceded.

“A mystical sword named for its two creators, Caliburn Hiyoshi.†He paused for another sip of what Callum had to assume was some kind of stronger liquor that he had poured into his glass after ut of the old. “Anyways, I fought him with the very Vorpal you saw earlier after collecting it from a world called Mire. I was victorious and I took the title without further event. However, at that time I had a junior who was trained under the same master. Can you guess who it was?â€

“Strato.â€

“That’s right. Even then he was considered a prodigy. Though, he had a major weakness; one that he was famous for. He refused to fight seriously without being forced into it step by painstaking step even if it put him at a disadvantage. Back in those days he was called Slow Start Strato. I as you saw am best at starting and ending quickly so I had the opposite problem the longer I fought the worse I got at it. We were matched perfectly for me to win so he never challenged me before.

"Until one day after a whole army practically came to us to recruit our ailing master and the two of us, his students into the army as trainers for their troops. We defeated them but it was a tiring effort for me to take out so many. Right afterwards Strato challenged me to an official duel for the title. I accepted rashly and lost my sword hand in the first ten seconds of the fight. My life as a swordsman ended that day.†Finn McCullough was indeed a defeated man. Callum could see the way the very memory of his loss brought a sag to his shoulders and a slow labor to his breath.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that story?†McGee asked.

“You’re a lazy bugger who don’t do nothin’ to pull his own weight! You also ran away whenever I got drunk and started throwing things at you.â€

“Either way. I have another selfish request if what you said is true.†Callum cut in before the blonde man had a chance to make a proper reply.

“What is it?â€

“Teach me how to fight.â€

 

This is a very long sentence. I would advise you to place a comma after the phrase 'Callum asked himself' to help ease the flow of reading, otherwise it seems rather rushed and long.

Again with the lack of comma use; this whole sentence takes a few times for you to read it to actually let it sink in. I would advise, again, more comma use.


I used the first paragraph of this chapter as an example for the point I am trying to make. You need to make the flow of reading easier if you expect readers to maintain the amount of interest all the way through your chapter/story. I read this chapter, and your first, and felt like all the words in sentences were jammed without a moment to let what was said to actually sink in. People don't want to have to read certain sentences repeatedly to grasp what is happening.

This is just my opinion; I do not wish to offend you in any way through this piece of critique.

 

Yeah, pretty much everything I write is full of run-on sentences and missing commas. I'm not exactly great at noticing where these things are since it's gotten to the level of habit but I'll go back and try to take another look and work on it to the best of my ability.