Role Play Idol [Season One] Challenge #4

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Updates!


Last week was interesting. You all took different approaches to the challenge, but ultimately, it was Dr_Wigglz and Ace Phoenix who were voted off. I'd like to restate as usual that if you are voted off, don't take it personally. This is all for fun. Along with that, I remind all of the contestants to read every post and respond/vote accordingly and fairly.

I know that a couple of you have let me know you might not be able to make the deadline. Try your best. Even if it's a crappy post, that's better than nothing, and I will extend the deadline for you two (Marushi and Theonly9One) for as long as the voting is going on. Because you told me ahead of time, as long as the voting is still going on/critiques being made, I won't disqualify you for that. I will include you two in the poll anyway, but please try to post on time.

As always, some things on judging are addressed in the spoiler below.

Your judges for Season One will now be the mysterious FuzzyBlueLights, the role play veteran Machina, and the tasty Ploo-Hems.

For any of you concerned with biased or unfair judging, SOME of my rules and regulations for them specifically can be found in the spoiler tag. Any unfair treatment will result in the forced resignation of said judge, no exceptions. They've all agreed to the below.

Spoiler: Judging guidelines

Being a judge in itself can sound pretty liberating. But it's really not all fun and games. I have quite a few things to let you guys know, but we'll keep it as simple as possible for now. Obviously, this group was made for a reason. To share information and discuss things together between ourselves. You four are the judges. Keep in mind this makes your opinions influence the other members, and also puts you in a position of responsibility.

You are to be f a i r. When you judge others posts, it has nothing to do with who they are, or if you like them, their literacy, if you've seen them before, how often they role play, blah. I mean, when you really judge them, it's unbiased.

You are to be h u m b l e. Being in any kind of position of power might boost your ego more so than it may already be boosted. Just make sure you realize we're all just members here. Respect each other. It is important not to discourage anyone, or make them feel like they're unimportant, unworthy, or anything negative. Please use caution and think before you hit 'submit'.

You are to be be l a w f u l. The next thing I'll cover are some basic guidelines. Rather, areas you'll actually be judging. [...CONT'D ELSEWHERE]

The Challenge


So, to switch it up a bit, this will be a non-magical/fantasy/action-y challenge. It's very simple. I've put you into pairs again (idk) that are completely randomized to act out this scene. In the end of this another two people will be eliminated because Season 2 needs to start this month sometime.

So the challenge is romance. Huzzah! Once again, there will be a receiver and an initiator, and that will all depend on who posts first. The genders are completely randomized as well. (it was just too tempting) So if you get an [f] next to your name, you role play with your female character, vice-versa.

I know a lot of you have already thought of bios and relationships for your character, but for the sake of this challenge, drop it if it interferes--or incorporate it into the scene, whatever you'd like. The scenario is once again a very simple and sweet one. What we'll be looking for is emotion. You make us feel something? Awesome. You don't? Eh.

In this scenario, as the initiator you will be confessing feelings for a childhood friend. Simple. I will leave the rest up to you. You can make it adorable, intense, passionate (no sex, plz). As the receiver you will be reacting to this love confession. You have the power to turn the scene from whatever it was into something sweet and aww-inspiring, or something absolutely heart-breaking that makes us all want to jump off of a cliff.

Romance is not all fluff and happiness. It can be kind of twisted.

One thing I see a lot in role plays is as soon as someone confesses feelings, the receiver is all like, OMG I LOVE YOU TOO. |: Like, every time. Or the role players actually plan to have their characters fall in love from the get-go. I say this to let you know that if you decide to be different and reject the person, or not feel the same, you will not be penalized. Romance is not limited to happy, positive feelings. It can be very confusing.

Furthermore, you're all to build on each other. If the initiator says that you met in your first day of elementary school, then I don't want to see the receiver go off about how you met in summer camp or something. The initiator also decides where this scene takes place, I really don't care. Just no powers, magic, or supernatural crap. The initiator is still the one who posts first.

Here are your partners; I purposely gender-switched who I could. /trollface


Bushy Brow [f] x Britishism [m]

Tummer [f] x theonly9one [m]

Marushi [m] x Master of keyblades [f]

If you need more clarification, please contact me.



Rules or restrictions for this Challenge.


♣ You may interact with your partner only. Only one post per person, as always.

♣ Post when you can, not when you want.

♣ No powers or anything like that.

♣ Respond accordingly, read all of the posts posted.

♣ Remember that this is a competition. Try your best to impress me, and the judges. If you're not trying, it will be evident.

♣ Posts count, so be relevant. Please don't spam questions in this thread about this challenge, contact me personally.

♣ You have until SEPTEMBER 13th, 2011 to post. Preferably before then, because we want as much time as possible for the judging process. <: If you do not make that deadline, you are disqualified.

♣ Be creative and have fun! It is a competition, but it's also about being creative, original and letting loose.

♣ Graphics are okay to use if you want them. But I'm not making them for anyone in this competition. And if you use them, you're not scoring any extra points with the judges. I've made it clear that graphics does not equal superior.

♣ Post your posts in this thread, below my post.

♣ Once you submit, that's your post. You can edit spelling errors and such, but please don't add more on. Only because it would be unfair to post, compare to everyone elses post and edit more in based off of what other people post.

♣ Only use ONE of your characters. If you have an [f] next to your username, then use your female character. If you have an [m] next to your username, use your male character.


Members who have yet to post...

Bushy Brow - Izzy Kumo [m] + Ilia Kumo [f]

Marushi - Lance [m] + Kara [f]

master of keyblades - Allen [m] + Mina [f]

Britishism - Rory [m] + Keira [f]

theonly9one - Heather [f] + Brad [m]

Tummer - Hannah [f] + Luis [m]

Happy role playing. :]

 

I love you, just three little words. But the moment I say them, the whole world changes, like magic...Okay, get a grip of yourself, Hannah. This isn't an anime for God's sake!

Hannah very well knew that reality was far more different than the universes of romantic-comedies. Never once has she ever been told by a boy that they were in love with her, not even as a joke or being mistaken for somebody else. As the years passed, Hannah saw all of her friends pair off, one by one, and break off into their own relationships. Sure, Hannah had been on blind dates in the past (which were set up by her friends) but none of them seemed to click with her. They were nice enough boys, but they didn't make her feel special. A man has to make a woman feel special.

She did have some feelings towards one of her friends though. They met when they were only kids on the playground. She remembered spending every recess with him, sitting on the swings while singing any random song that they would make up. Brad was her best friend growing up, and she didn't want to risk losing that. Hannah knew that she could always confide in him, and throughout their years in middle and high school, her tiny crush on him sprang into fully realized love. Brad was the only one who knew the secret side of Hannah, the darkness within her own self that would eat at her. She felt as if he had never judged her -- always seeing her for who she was when she wasn't alone. This was where Hannah wished that she lived the realm of some cheesy romantic comedy. There have been countless days where she wished that she would find a letter in her shoe locker from Brad, confessing how he really felt about her. Or maybe, he would spontaneously kiss her on the cheek when there were alone.

Unfortunately for Hannah, that was never the case. Besides her school books and backpack, nothing was ever dropped into her locker and whenever she was alone with him, they'd just talk about homework or newest released video games.

"It's not fair," Hannah said under her breath as she walked through the halls.

She was tired of feeling alone. Maybe it was the idea of being alone for the rest of her life that drove her to her current actions, but Hannah felt like there was no other option. It is the twenty-first century after all -- where does it say that a girl can't do this? It was her lunch period, but she wasn't searching for the cafeteria. As Hannah was passing by crowds of people; she imagined all of them turning to look at her. All the voices in the crowd seemed to be mocking and tormenting her.

"Why are you doing this?"​

"He's not going to feel the same way about you."​

"He'll never want to see your ugly face again once you tell him."​

"Just turn away, little girl."​

SHUT UP!​

Before Hannah knew it, she was only a few feet away from Brad. To her relief, he was alone. Once she made eye contact with him, the voices felt as if they disappeared. Her nerves, however, increased. In a sudden movement, Hannah grabbed Brad and pinned him against the nearest wall. This was her point of no return. She either had to say something to him or risk public ridicule until she graduated. She broke away eye contact and stared at the floor.I'm a girl, a cute girl, right? So, why wouldn't he like me?

"Brad, I," Hannah choked as she tightened the grip on his shirt. Her face became warm as tears were streaming down her face. "I love you," She whispered, hoping that it was only his ears that heard it.

 

OOC: Alright, so this challenge really doesn’t work with Lance’s "foster kid, always moving" background, so I’m gonna completely re-write his history for this challenge.

IC: “Mina, I love you.†Lance said into the bathroom mirror.After looking at his reflection for a few minutes, he sighed. Come on, man! This shouldn’t be so hard! Just look into her stunning eyes and tell her that you’ve loved her for the past three years! Lance took a deep breath and tried again. "Mina, I know we’ve been friends for as long as we’ve known each other, but I can’t do this anymore. I…†Lance looked at his reflection again. He was sweating and breathing heavily, obviously nervous, and he wasn’t even talking to Mina yet! “I can’t do this!†He said out loud. He pushed the bathroom door open and slammed it behind him, then grabbed his jacket and left the house.

In the car on the way to the school, Lance thought about Mina and their history together. Mina was the daughter of one of his mother’s friends, and they had met when they were kids during one of his mothers’ lunch parties. He had been nine at the time, and she was six. They had been friends ever since. But they were just friends. At least, until three years ago, when she began to turn from a fun kid sister into a beautiful teenage girl. He had tried not to notice, he had tried not to care. Especially last year, senior year. He had tests to pass, games to play, scholarships to win. He was too busy to let a distraction like a girlfriend get between him and his life. Then after he graduated, he realized that he cared for her too much. He was going to go off to college, he was going to leave. She was just entering her sophomore year; she had a life to live, she couldn’t give everything up just for him. So he decided that he could wait. He would go off to college and then he could tell her when he got back. But then after he had been away for awhile, he knew that he couldn’t wait. He couldn’t stand four more years of not seeing her. So he ditched classes and drove back home. He spent the night at his parents house and then he got ready. It was two o-clock, school let out in about an hour, but he couldn’t wait any more. He parked the car in the lot and waited.

“Mina!†He called as soon as he saw her. He got out of the car and ran up to her. Groups of kids were talking and laughing, leaving school for the day, but they didn't exist to Lance. He only had eyes for Mina. “Mina, hey! I’m back!†He laughed at himself, at what she must be thinking, but it didn’t matter. Now was the moment of truth. “Mina,†he said. Wow, she had amazing eyes. He was getting distracted, just seeing her again. “Mina, I know, that we have our own lives to live, we have our own dreams, but… I can’t live without you.†He paused, looking deep into her shining eyes. What if this was a mistake? What if he should have kept his feelings to himself, what if she didn't love him back? But none of that mattered. What mattered was Mina, and Mina deserved to know the truth. “I love you, Mina,†he said. "I... love you so much, I can't stand it. You..." He looked away, suddenly shy. He took a deep breath and looked back at Mina. "You are so important to me, you are beautiful. I love you."

 

OOC: Well... I guess I'll kick things off somehow.. :/
Also I'm not too sure whether I should change up the colours for Ilya after some advice from the last round I played her in.
In the first round that I played her, one judge said the colours were fine while another said it was eye straining.. lol
(for now I'll use the same as before... but if it is requested I should change them, then I won't mind doing that.)
Also, I know I used a few '...'s at the end. I would just like to say that the ones where she talks are meant to show she is stuttering and having trouble getting the words out lol.
Anywhere else... I have no excuse if I've overused them again. lol

~

Ilya took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself. It didn't work. Her heart was racing at such speed and the nervous feeling in her gut was spreading around her whole body in an overwhelming fashion that threatened to overtake her and made her feel like curling up into a ball and just dying where she stood. She suddenly stopped walking and pressed her back against the cold brick wall she was next to. Looking up to the sky, she tried to recall the encouragement her brother had given her. Them being twins, and as he liked to joke that they had some sort of 'twin telepathy'. He had known about her crush on Rory for quite some time now. He had chosen to support her and had in fact arranged the meeting for today. Stupid Izzy... Ilya sighed. The three of them were meant to meet up to hang out together, but then Izzy had cancelled last minute on both of them but insisted that the two of them still hang out, and then he told her that she should make the most of the opportunity. Why is it brothers have to interfere so much? she wondered as her mind turned to thoughts about Rory.

She had known Rory ever since they were children having first met in the drama group their parents had put them in. He was into acting of course and she was into dancing, but classes back then often crossed over into the other and Ilya had found herself often working with Rory.
Rory was a valuable and irreplaceable friend to her, but over the years he had started to become... more. He had grown into a very handsome and nice person to the extent that her view on him had started to change. Rory was the only other person she spent a lot of time with aside from her brother. They were very close, but now she had started to entertain other thoughts; What if we could be more than friends?

Eventually the truth had dawned on her. She wasn't sure how it had happened... but she had fallen in love with her childhood friend. This worried her however. She was now absolutely terrified. What if he didn't feel the same? What if this ruined their friendship entirely? She just couldn't bear to lose him, but at the same time, she couldn't bear to keep her feelings hidden any more either. She felt like a cup of water about to overflow. It was just impossible for her to contain her feelings any more. She wanted to tell him the truth about how she felt despite the fear. Her brother had assured her that Rory was a decent enough guy to not let anything ruin their friendship, and she knew it would be true... after all, she knew Rory. Well... she hoped she did.

Right now, she felt like she wanted to cry but she had to be strong. She clenched her fists tight and started walking again. Wild thoughts started drifting into her mind that she would never usually entertain.
Do I look okay?
Will he think I'm cute?
Maybe I should have worn the other skirt.
How should I greet him, should I hug him? Just wave?
Oh no... What if he thinks my breasts are too small?
Does he like girls with bigger breasts?
She stopped again and shook her head to try and clear her mind of such thoughts. Panicking about stupid things wouldn't help right now. He would either feel the same as she did or he wouldn't.
It was then that she noticed him. Without realising it, she had finally made it to the park and there he was, sitting right on a bench in front of her not having noticed her yet.
A warm feeling came over Ilya. Just seeing him there made her feel better suddenly. It made her fear go away. She felt safe. Well...
She still felt timid, but she always felt timid. Her mouth felt dry, so she swallowed hard. Then she took a step forward... and another step. Then another.
She caught his eye. Her heart started beating fast again. She could feel the blood rising to her face resulting in a warm but hopefully cute blush.
She stopped once he noticed her. She held herself timidly, her arms awkwardly in front of her and her head lowered. She could tell that he knew something was going on, that she wanted to say something. She couldn't keep him waiting, but time suddenly seemed to go weird for her, it was like everything was slow and fast at the same time.
...I love you. She thought inwardly.
No! I've got to actually say it! she tried to psyche herself up but then before she had even realised it. Her body had moved.
She ran to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I love you."
...She felt so silly now. It was too late however, she had done it. The three words she had just uttered to him had changed the entire world for her.
"Rory... I love you. I'm...in love with you." she stuttered as her emotions made her eyes fill up with tears as she just continued to stand there with her arms around him. All that could be heard now were her gentle sobs into his shoulder.
Everything felt unreal right now. Would this be it? How would he respond to her sudden confession? Could she have done it better?
...She felt powerless now as all she could do was wait there, still holding onto him. Still clinging to him like if she let go, she would lose him forever.
Her fingers clutched onto his shirt. All she could do was wait for him to answer.

 

Mina was confused and a little bit confused by what Lance had said. She had hoped to find any sign of him joking but, by the look on his face he was serious. As a blush appeared or her cheeks, she looked down at her feet. It was true that she secretly felt the same way for him but never had the courage to admit it. Lifting her head up to face him, she atempted to say something but nothing came out of her mouth causing the blush on her face to redden. "You do?" She managed to say. "Well...I feel the same way about you." Once she had said that, it felt like an entire weight was lifted from her shoulders. Mina was glad she had said it, and the smile on her face said the same.

 

~the electric twist~​

What just happened?
Ilya... did Izzy set this up?
Does it even matter?
So many thoughts are flashing through my head. She's been one of my best friends for so long. Should I risk the friendship for something I've never even thought about? She's crying. I never knew how to handle it when she was crying. I guess now I do. "Ilya. Don't worry."
And then our lips touch.
Suddenly, in a moment we're one. We're together. I don't know if it's love, but it's something. It's passion. I wrap my arms around her and smile. How long has she thought about this? We kiss again, and I feel another rush. But once more, I think it can't be love. "Ilya, I don't know if I love you. I need time to think," I whisper into her ear. It's true, what I said. But I pull closer to her now, just in this second. Just right now, before I consider anything. It's brash and foolish, and I'll regret it. But now, it's just for the rush. It's just for our lips to touch. It's for now.

 

OOC: I hope it's not too late for this...

"Hey Hannah, what's- Whoa!"

Brad was only half-surprised when Hannah pinned him to the wall, after all they had a friendship that surpassed normal human behavior. What did surprise him was the fact that Hannah was in tears.

And then he heard those words.

"I love you."

And then his thoughts went into overdrive. At first, he was so confused his mind couldn't even conjure up a full sentence, in stead opting for words like Huh? What? Since when? How?

Then he tried to rationalize things. They had known from a very young age, they were practically inseparable, they already pretty much acted like a couple, minus the PDA...

Wait, is she still waiting for an answer?

"Hannah, I-" Brad started, before realizing that he had no idea how to answer.

How pathetic, I plan on making a living off of faking emotions, and I can't even figure out mine... Oh Goddammit Brad, stop thinking already, and feel!

Avoiding Hannah's eyes, he turned his mind off, and said the first thing to come into his mind:

"Hannah, I think I love you too. Please stop crying?"

Almost instinctively, he leaned down, and let his lips softly brush her cheek.

 

Jayn ; Critiques

Spoiler: Tummer

I think this was a step up from last time. I knew you had it in you. This whole thing was really adorable. You played a girl rather well. I really liked this post.

At first I felt like the end, love proclamation was a bit forced, but after re-reading it and seeing the emotion, I think you did pretty well. She became desperate towards the end, which was interesting. ​

Spoiler: Marushi

I was a little confused, and you're allowed to clarify this for me. But did he ditch classes to visit her and proclaim his love? Or did he quit school all together? Either way. You too played on the desperation. It was really sweet. Especially because he found resolve in needing to tell her. And though he hesitated, he went through with it. Overall, good job.
​

Spoiler: Bushy

Congratulations, you. <:

Your formatting has improved, though towards the end it started to look like a poem again. imo. xD It's obvious you're paying attention to the critiques. I tried to explain what I meant by spacing things out a bit in the quote above.

You were cute. I mean...She was cute. It was a very innocent confession. Anyway, good job. ​

Spoiler: Master of Keyblades

Sweet and simple.
Although, maybe a bit too simple? I didn't really feel much from this. There weren't very many feelings described. But technically speaking, you addressed the theme and there are very little mistakes.​

Spoiler: Britishism

At first I was like, mehhh. But then it got better as it went on. There was lots of emotion in this for me. Well, rather...Lots of passion. It was...A little less cutesy and a little more sexy--*Shot*

In all honesty though. I like it all-in-all. The only thing that got me was the fact that he was passionately rejecting her. xD It was conflicting in that I couldn't tell if he loved her, didn't love her, or if he just wanted in her panties. It would be something that would be difficult to respond to. As in...If I were Bushy responding to this, I would have a hard time figuring out if she should be happy or not. Like, what does that mean? There wasn't really resolve.

Either wayyy. I thought you did awesomely. Good job. ​

Spoiler: Chersterfield

Everyone is so adorable. ;n;

Alright. Um. I feel like this was just a bit rushed. I did like the part about how he was planning on making a living off of faking emotions. That was clever. He seemed unsure about if he really loved her or not in the end, so I felt like it wasn't really resolved. It was more of an excuse to get her to stop crying. Either way, very tender. I enjoyed it overall. No mistakes or anything. ​

 

For tummer;

Spoiler

The doubt effect was strong in this one. So strong her mind began to play mentally scary tricks on her. A lot of people could relate to this simply because your character went through that emotional trick of a crowd seeming to stare or whisper only about you. When you yourself know full well that they don't give a damn about you. Paranoia! That realistic emotion, her paranoia made me like this post more then I've liked your other pieces. The only problem I had with it was that it felt to animey. However keep it up because you're only getting better and better.

For Marushi;

Spoiler

You went through the effort of tweaking your character. Some people wouldn't do that, but you did. And that got you some cool points in my book. And I'm very glad you did. The story for this was very very good to me. Kinda like what Scrooge would be if he was in our generation and not bitter about his life. But still surrounded himself with being busy and his old lover hadn't gotten away. Anyway, what I really mean(Elton John reference), I was going to root for you simply because your post was so well put together and your story so great. And I aww'd at the fact that she was a High School Sophomore and he was a College Freshman. Over all you exceeded expectations.

For Bushy;

Spoiler

Your almost unatural point of girly view is what won me over. You were crisp. You were clear. You were just damn solid on all fronts. Congrats on being the unanimous winner. You were already good and now you're getting bettttttter.

For Master of Keyblades;

Spoiler

The blandest of all posted. It could have been better. Short and sweet. I do admit you stayed on topic/theme and you complete your task.

For Britishism;

Spoiler

I think you accurately protrayed the mixed and confused hormones and thoughts of a teen. Is this a kiss full of love. A kiss full of lust? Or a kiss full of what if's and what isn't? Either way to chock this all up. It's a small one. But a good one. I liked it, personally.

For Chesterfield;

Spoiler

Your character was confused and that made this post wonderfully. And you were also time crunched so I did see how this was a more less thought out post. However I can relate to this and you stuck with the theme and topic. Romance. Love, it's all sooooo confusing at times. And I could relate to what your character was going through. Nice work Chesty.

 

He ditched classes to confess his love, and now that she said she loved him too, he's going to quit his current school and start again at a much closer place next semester or something so they can be together.

 

To Hannah, the situations is very emotional for her. There's a point where you know when you're in love with your best friend, and yet, you're afraid that if the relationship doesn't turn out okay, you're going to lose that friendship.

 

Just want to point out that I gave Marushi permission to respond to her critique to clarify that college part since it was a technical detail. Otherwise, as stated before, please avoid replying to critiques here in the thread. There IS a valid reason for that. I'll let it go this time and not delete your posts, but please don't reply to the critiques here. Take it to PM or VM. It results in spam otherwise, and looks messy. Especially because posts count here and Plums hasnt yet posted his critiques. Thanks.

 

Plums: Desc- er, Critique

SORRY FOR BEING SO LATE.
I have been working on the Common App and school and home have been kakefvfjhfvh
let's just say I'm dealing with a lot of things atm

and steins;gate names for everyone

Spoiler: Okabe Rintumma

Overall I thought this was really good. I thought you captured being a girl pretty well, and I liked the despair she felt towards the end in regards to her feelings. I was confused as to why she broke down crying, but then when you realize she's suffering from paranoia of the situation at that degree, it's pretty understandable. Great job. c:

Spoiler: Mayushii, I mean Marushi

Overall, I thought this was, as usual, another great post by you, but the ending felt a little...rushed, to me? I mean, the buildup in the beggining was excellent. You could tell exactly how Lance felt about the situation, and it made you feel it. But I think he came off too strong about it when he told Mina. Something felt missing there, but I can't really put a finger on it at the moment.

Spoiler: Mr Bushy Brawn

Congratulations! [noparse]:D[/noparse]
I thought this post was brilliant, and you characterized Ilya extremely well. Overall, I saw no problems with this post, other than one run on sentence here:

I think this post could have used more, to be honest. Mina just admitting feeling the same was just...stale, to me? I think you could have used some buildup to her confession at least; how did she come to feel that way, what were her thoughts while he was gone, etc.

It was a good post, but it just needs more detail.

Spoiler: BritSERNism

This was short, but hnnng. I thought this was an excellent follow-up to Bushy's. Your approach to the response was different, and that's what really stood out to me. Even though Rory is unsure of how he feels, he still gets himself caught up in the moment, which would lead to a great exploration into his and Ilya's relationship further if this was an RP. Great job. c:

Spoiler: Machester Kurisu

I agree with Jayn. I thought it was a bit rushed too, but like she said, Brad's reaction to this was great, and it would be interesting to see where this leads him.