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I too find it's illogical but it's the way things are, most governments or ''official'' groups are illogical and they are still able to rule.

Also no it's nothing family related, my family is good to me. Well i'm no hero(irony within my name) so dying in vain isn't really a problem to me and also why would I waste people's time telling them my problems especially if they can't help -_-

Well i'm not mad at that, it's been a year since my last attempt so i mean i alreayd know things aren't getting any better and i can't stand waiting another year or forever for things to get better. Everytime something is going good, something else seems to counteract it and i'm sick and tired of it, not to mention my life is screwed anyways, so this is the only solution, clearly.

and last but certainly not least, if it means that much to you i will move(create a new???) in that section don't see what difference that will make but i will do it.

Secondly, i'm not looking for members sympathy or empathy, just an answer to the question I presented. I'm not asking for a lot, nor would I.

As for your last sentence, i have been and now the tables have been turned it's no longer time for action but more of a matter of re action. It's time to settle this once and for all and this is the only option, or else I wouldn't have taken it - _ -

I do not need to vent i just need an answer, i've thought of mutiple ways but they are very painful and/or don't work.

Also sorry to dissapoint you but this would be my second attempt so no i'm not hesitating, it's just my first attempt failed and i thought perhaps there was a reason it failed, maybe i'm should turn my life around blah blah blah bullshit.

So honestly i'm just asking an answer to a simple question if you decline to answer it then, i honorably ask that you do not reply, same goes for anyone else.