POLL POSTED ❢ There sure are a lot of entries. Good luck, everyone!
james come have tea with me and we can watch shows together while drinking our tea Just about this, I usually have hot tea and a snack to boot because I always watch my shows late at night when no one else is around so I don't have to be bothered, and then I bring my phone with me so that I can conveniently look up information on said shows and/or bitch to everyone about something/anything that happened, even if they don't care.
I've told everyone who has ever asked me that no, I don't want kids, and then I kept quiet on my reasons why because I just get argued with sometimes and it's really taxing, but I think now and here is a good place to explain myself. I had a questionable upbringing that has made me come to dislike the world around me and just not really trust people at all, and the thought of having a kid and there even being the slightest chance of them having to suffer through anything I did, it scares me and also makes me feel guilty because they were birthed from me. My parenting skills would also be questionable, and I honestly think I might abuse any child I have in some way, even though everyone thinks I'm this saint when it comes to dealing with children – I'm really not. Agreeing with Yave, bearing the responsibility of taking care and raising another human being, their lives being in your hands for god knows how long, that's scary, and I'm just not sure if I'll ever be responsible enough to provide a stable life for any kids I might have, which has frightened me into never wanting them. Why anyone would impose such a large and scary thing on themselves by choice sometimes baffles me when I really think about it. This is something I think, too. I'll definitely be doing it wrong and any kid of mine would probably hate me for being such a ****-up, considering by unstable person and issues with being decisive. I'm also worried that, even though I have control over myself, I'd become one of my unstable parents and my kids would have to suffer through this awful childhood of having to maneuver through drunken weekends and manipulate their mother into talking about something she's interested in just so she won't scream her head off at them when she's driving. Even though I feel like it's scary, I do have to admit, there's something almost charming about the thought of being able to influence a young human so completely, and how they grow up is in your hands. A part of me thinks I'd be a fun parent to have, even though I probably wouldn't, but there's also the thing about me having no patience . . . at all. I used to entertain the thought that I would have one child, and then whichever sex that child was, I would adopt the opposite. Having both a boy and a girl sounds ideal to me, since I never had a brother and I think it might have been something I needed, growing up. Having a sibling around your age, who you can try to identify with, who you can depend on, it sounds really fantastic, though it doesn't seem like it turns out like that all of the time. Then I came to think, No, I don't want my own child. That's too selfish. and then wanted to adopt both a boy and a girl because why would I want to bring a child into a world that I don't trust, that I hate, that I'm scared of, when I can rescue two children and show them that there's still a spark of hope left, and that not everything is completely awful. I think, straight, my strongest reasoning for not wanting a child is them having to go through what I did, not tell anyone like I did, and then turn out like I did, and I could do nothing about it. I guess, basically, I'm just scared because having kids means having to grow up myself. I might change my mind one day, maybe. There was probably more that I wanted to say, but I can't remember. Spoiler: oh yeah I mean, to be honest, I like the thought of going outside and getting dirty while playing with my son, or even my daughter, and I like the thought that maybe my little girl will love her other parent/guardian and they'll dote on them and so will my parents and aunts and uncles and the rest of my ****ed up family. I want to believe that I would be able to raise a strong, open-minded child, adopted or birthed, to maybe even love the world I hate and the life that I provided for it. Having a child, in essence, is basically an adventure, and I'm honestly sure that there is so much life experience and wonder, joy, sadness, pain, happiness, shock and surprise to be had, and I love adventures. As I am now, even though all of that sounds completely wonderful, I don't think I'll ever be ready to have a child.
W E A R I N G ✖ W R I T I N G ✖ M U S I C MOOD ※ ANNOYED ✖ DAY 32 ※ 1/4 ✖ DATE ※ 10/22/2013 ✖ LOCATION ※ BERLIN, GERMANY [/url]❝Nothing gets past you, eh, love?❞ Hay Sun found she wasn't surprised at how fast Danel's demeanor had changed. She rolled her eyes again and returned to looking over the cityscape. ❝Today, Danel.❞ she said impatiently, feeling like jumping off the building and seeing if she could indeed fly if she put her mind to it. ❝I want the location to Leviathan. Keep in mind, Temeluchas already knows where Ariel is and is taking care of him.❞ Inwardly, Hay Sun was flaring with anger, wanting to claw out Danel's entire facial structure and then some. Leviathan? Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell made Danel think that she knew anything about where that monster was hiding? Honestly, if she had to peg a place, it'd be his ocean prison – didn't they know he had a giant cell at the bottom of the sea? If they didn't, she certainly wasn't spilling. Then again, Uriel didn't even know if he was still there. If things were ironic enough, Hay Sun might guess that he was at someplace like Sea World. Watch him having been reincarnated into fucking Shamu or something. While she was thinking, Danel was saying something about the Nazis. Weirdo. If Lucy didn't know where Leviathan was, that was a good thing, right? But here Danel was, threatening her with the fact – or lie – that Key Lime Pie already knew where Pretty Boy was. She coughed a laugh. ❝You're really trying to threaten me?❞ she asked him, ❝And – ❞ She sighed. ❝ – why would I even know where Leviathan was? Do I look like his keeper?❞ Why was it again that no one has offed Key Lime Pie? But if she was where Pretty Boy was, and they really knew . . . All she had to go on was a hunch, a distant connection that didn't make any sense and a set of dreams that were persistent. That was frustrating. She wasn't sure what to do now. She could fight Danel. She could kill Danel. She could get him to tell her where Pretty Boy was. DON'T BE FOOLISH. DANEL WOULD NEVER DISCLOSE ARIEL'S LOCATION. IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT TO FIND HIM ON OUR OWN, ESPECIALLY WITH RAZIEL'S HELP. Leo? Raziel, he had painstakingly explained to her, knew a lot of things about being an Angel Ranger, and doing all of this stuff; not to mention their history, powers, and other angels. If these assholes were gonna go to anyone, it should be her brother, not him – But there was a thing about that because she was kind of worried about him facing them. That dick could take care of himself, sure, but she was still worried and wouldn't put him in that position. DISMISS DANEL. WE HAVE NO BUSINESS WITH HIM. ❝I don't know where Leviathan is.❞ she answered eventually, more calmly and truthful. ❝Could you leave now? I really don't want to kill anyone today.❞ YOU'RE NOT AUTHORITATIVE ENOUGH. Well you try being authoritative after all the shit I've been through. I COULD CERTAINLY DO A BETTER JOB THAN YOU. Whatever. ❝IF YOU HAVE NO FURTHER BUSINESS AND DON'T INTEND TO TELL ME WHERE ARIEL IS, THEN YOU SHOULD MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE AROUND ME, DANEL.❞
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W E A R I N G ✖ W R I T I N G ✖ M U S I C MOOD ※ SIGH ✖ DAY 32 ※ 1/4 ✖ DATE ※ 10/22/2013 ✖ LOCATION ※ BERLIN, GERMANY [/url]Hay Sun felt the presence before she saw it. That anyone came to talk to her was annoying as hell, but the person wasn't anyone she recognized and so she was immediately on guard. ❝So this is where you're hiding.❞ The person, a man, was standing next to her now. STAY CALM. BREATHE. IT'S DANEL. Danel . . . Hay Sun recognized the name from passing, and then when Pretty Boy first talked to her. Danel was a Dark Angel. She mentally narrowed her eyes because what was he doing here? Now the asshole was sitting next to her. Okay, sure, go on ahead, make yourself at home. Yeah, that's fine. ❝I don't think we've actually met yet.❞ While he looked at her, she kept her electric eyes forward while repeating in her mind Don't lose your shit. Don't lose your shit. Don't lose your shit. ❝I like your scarf, Hay Sun.❞ ❝Cut to the chase, Danel.❞ Hay Sun said with an even tone. ❝I'm not here to hurt you or anything. I just came to talk.❞ At least he moved away from her. She rolled her eyes anyway, not feeling in the slightest bit of danger at all. In fact, she really just felt like she could level all of Berlin at the moment. ❝I know where Ariel is.❞ Hay Sun's head snapped in his direction, her eyes almost glowing white. Her face was placid with minuscule lines of stress, anxiety, and anger. Don't lose your shit. Don't lose your shit. STAY CALM. IT'S CLEAR HE WANTS TO MANIPULATE YOU. WE DO NOT NEED HIM TO FIND ARIEL. ❝If you care that is . . . If not, I can always leave, but I must say, you look awfully tired Hay Sun. Are you getting tired of this yet?❞ And then the prick made a show of opening his wings, and Hay Sun remembered the time Pretty Boy had wrapped his around her, protectively. That had been nice. She had felt warm. Sleepy, too, but mostly warm. ❝Of course I care, asshole. You shouldn't talk so freely. Korea is a good place to learn some manners.❞ she told him, nearly snapping. Not that she was really one to talk about manners. ❝What do you really want, Danel?❞ Hay Sun missed her wings.
Spoiler: this too
Spoiler: i found this
W E A R I N G ✖ W R I T I N G ✖ M U S I C MOOD ※ SIGH ✖ DAY 32 ※ 1/4 ✖ DATE ※ 10/22/2013 ✖ LOCATION ※ BERLIN, GERMANY [/url]Hay Sun rubbed at her face, almost violently. She was tired today, and that was more so than the last two weeks . . . She had been almost hysterical yesterday, save for the fact that she didn't talk to anyone and stayed in a completely different area of the jet they had come to Berlin in. Somehow, she landed her own room at the hotel Jun Tae hooked the group up at, but she thought he did that on purpose. At least he had so she could lament in silence. The loss of Cass was . . . hard, she thought to say, but it really wasn't. It was more like it was stressful because there was something special about the position of Metatron. As long as Metatron was around, there was a chance that maybe they could come in contact with Father, though despite everything, Hay Sun wasn't sure she wanted to talk to that asswipe right now. Uriel didn't try to reason with her, as the neither of them felt on good terms with the man upstairs – and she didn't want to talk to fucking Red about it because Hay Sun had to face it – she didn't feel like putting up with that bullshit about having faith in Father. Honestly, Hay Sun thought that the old man was probably vacationing somewhere because this little uprising the favorite son was staging was not his problem. What a joke. It was probably better not to be sitting with her legs dangling over the edge of a ten-story hotel's roof, but she felt a bit at piece here. Her shoes beat rhythmically against the wall. It was weird to think about how home was just over a thousand kilometers from where she was sitting. If she started walking now, maybe she would get there in two days. If she stole a car, maybe she would get there in just half a day. At first, it was about being different from the world around her, but now it was . . . trying to become this savior of a world she really didn't care about. Maybe all Hay Sun wanted was to go home. To wear that stupid uniform again and have picnics during lunch with her intrusive, loud, comforting friends. This weird, fucked up world-tour where she ended up in Mexico, fought thugs in the US, got into plane crashes in the middle of the Atlantic, got drugged and kidnapped and then ended up in a fucking whorehouse in Rome, started liking an ex-convict in a dumb, more-than-partners-in-crime way, met her estranged brother after five or six years . . . When Pretty Boy whisked her away to join Red's God Squad, she didn't know what to expect, but even this, maybe, went beyond anything she could have thought of. . . . On the bright side, she thought, least she was wearing fresh clothing. Honestly, Hay Sun kind of wanted to go home.
You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away; Cobra Starship
Username: Saxima Doll's Name: Bea Doll: Spoiler Spoiler: closeup because i can
I can agree that RWBY is definitely over-hyped. I caught up with it a few days ago. The fight scenes are neat though. It's enjoyable.
I'm sitting here, reading this thread, and wondering if I should update or not.
Original: Saxima Default: . . . It's still Saxima.
CAT I REALLY LIKE YOUR SIGNATURE
* excuses self from life *
Endless roll; NICO Touches the Walls
W E A R I N G ✖ W R I T I N G ✖ M U S I C MOOD ※ SIGH ✖ DAY 31 ※ 1/4 ✖ DATE ※ 10/22/2013 ✖ LOCATION ※ CARLISLE, ENGLAND [/url]Hay Sun snorted at the look Red gave Jun Tae, and he shrugged in return. ❝. . . What I do know, is that threatening him is going to do little good.❞ ❝I'unno Red. Fear can breed loyalty, too.❞ Hay Sun joked. Red got to her feet and Hay Sun took a step back. The cat threw a bit of a fit, but was quickly shushed. ❝Regardless of what Semyaza decides to do, we should really get out of England today. We've been here for too long.❞ Hay Sun's face visibly lit up and Jun Tae looked at her with a quirked eyebrow. Behind her back, she laced her fingers, fidgeting and trying to find the courage to suggest Russia as their next target location. Normally, there'd be no hesitation, but honestly, she'd be damned if she threw the group into a wild goose chase where they could end up in another whorehouse. She bit the inside of her cheek, hating that stupid feeling of being unsure. She opened her mouth and closed it several times, and then with a huff of annoyance, turned away. ❝Well, spit it out.❞ Jun Tae offered, sounding amused. ❝Shut up.❞ she retorted, and then crossed her arms. ❝Ru - . . . Russia . . .❞ ❝What was that?❞ Hay Sun shrugged and shook her head, ❝We should go south.❞ she eventually said, deciding not to press Asia for now. If they went South, maybe she could see her friends again . . . And her dad. Jun Tae wouldn't care to come, but she didn't give a shit about him. It had been almost two months since she'd left France and that was the place where she first met Pretty Boy. That idiot. YOU SHOULD TRUST YOUR GUT FEELING. She ignored the voice. Adam was up and suddenly Hay Sun wanted to go to Germany instead. If that twat was working cross side with the Dark Angels ( and she'd be fucking damned if he wasn't ), the last thing she wanted was to lead them to her family and friends. And Germany was right there, so . . . ❝Let's go to Germany.❞ she said. ❝I've always wanted to buy some chocolate from there.❞ She looked pointedly at Jun Tae and he sighed, taking out his phone and working away at it.
W E A R I N G ✖ W R I T I N G ✖ M U S I C MOOD ※ SIGH ✖ DAY 31 ※ 1/4 ✖ DATE ※ 10/22/2013 ✖ LOCATION ※ CARLISLE, ENGLAND [/url]There it was again; that place was on the tip of her tongue as her foggy, tired mind cleared up. Where was it . . . ? All Hay Sun absolutely know was Russia. The place she wanted to go was Russia, but that was a hella big country – where would she even start looking. The next thing she had to go on was it was East of Moscow, and the Tunguska Event kept coming to mind. She knew it would be a shit idea to have everyone go to Russia on a gut feeling, and then them not turn up with anything, but she also knew it wouldn't stop bothering her until she actually went there. She lifted herself from the chair she'd collapsed in last night and gave a wide stretch. She looked around the living room and then her eyes fell on the blond brat named Adam. She didn't like Adam, mostly because she thought he was a mindless pawn being manipulated so easily by the Dark Angels. She didn't trust him at all, and she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted him joining their group. Her glance switched to Red, who was awake and looking to be in deep thought. Hay Sun hadn't had much time to think on it, but she seriously needed to sort through her self-imposed issues with Red and Sam. Because it was a problem. Ah. Whatever. ❝So what do you think of the punk?❞ she quietly asked Red, nodding at Adam. ❝I don't like him, or trust him.❞ ❝So we finally agree on something, hmm?❞ Hay Sun flinched when Jun Tae's quiet voice appeared next to her. ❝If he willingly joins us after all of what he said last night, then there is something out of place. I wouldn't take this voice lightly, Hana. Semyaza is not idiotic.❞ . . . It was kind of weird to be able to agree on something with Jun Tae.
SUPER HERO; VIXX Spoiler oh god i hate this so much
Spoiler: getchur dogs hur
