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Hella. :'D Let's hope this is the start of a big new wave. I know I'll be surfin' high and joyous on it if it is.

I didn't know Jube paid attention to KH at all

Guess ya learn somethin' new every day

I just read the best word corruption of my life: fuqboi

Hello I am here to fulfill your wish

OK WHEW THEY DIDN'T FUCK THESE UP you have no idea how worried I was

Ooh, nifty. I may do a bit of songwriting with this. Added, thanks for the link!

Don't you mean prepotterous?

You guys are way too nice (and also majorly enabling my ego) but ilu anyway

EYO SORRY I'M LATE BUT I GOT A FRESH, PIPIN'-HOT BATCH OF CRITIQUES FOR Y'ALL

...ok so maybe not critiques as such. More like comments. In fact I called them that in the first thread, shoulda just stuck to it. But read through to the bottom if you want more.

Town
Considering all the turbulence we went through getting this game off the ground, I can't hold it against anyone for making sub-optimal choices. That said, I believe Town can take a few important lessons away from this game: [1] In most cases it is acceptable and even preferable to lynch lurkers first, because they're either the kind of Mafiosi you want to weed out early or the kind of Town you don't want deciding your fate in the lategame; and [2] follow your hunches with confidence. Everyone who was waiting for a solid lead before pursuing their suspects was sitting at a run-down bus stop: You'll be waiting forever. If nobody moves, nothing happens, so make any excuse you can and just run headlong into somebody else until they either convince you they're clean or give you something you can actually work with.

Bite the Dust
A rather quiet slot altogether. Without a power role to give him sway, BtD spent most of his time cracking jokes, making references, and indulging in some... rather unusual innuendo. All things which certainly have their place, but is it a game of Mafia? Perhaps not as such. Next time try not to let everybody do the work for ya, kiddo.

Calxiyn
In many ways, the ideal newbie: Talks a lot, isn't afraid to use her vote, answers questions and even asks a few of her own. All that's lacking is time and experience. With time, she'll learn what's suspicious and what's not (and for whom in particular); with experience, she'll come out of her shell and play less follow-the-leader. This is all my sincere hope, at least.

Cat~
Aside from somewhat sporadic activity, she played a fair game that happened to end in some game-ending waffling. I know the advice comes from a canine, but you may still want to take it to heart: Don't give up, trust your instincts.

Ɍeno cstar
Poor, sweet cstar :'c I don't know where she learned to play Mafia but apparently they use some very different rules from the ones I learned, considering she gets tripped up on at least one per game so far. Aside from that, her inactivity was discussed in private so there's really no need to air it out here. Hope the next game treats you better, sweetheart.

The Fuk?
Though not an aggressive poster, he was an aggressive player... It just happened that most of his aggression was towards a Town power role. :L Ah well, even the smartest players miss their guess sometimes. All I know is, I hope to see him bring his mettle back to the ring again very soon.

Hayabusa
Similar to Cat, played a fair game and pulled his weight but allowed doubt to guide his decisions. He was also rather quiet as the Vigilante, but that's understandable since the risk of hurting your own side is more pronounced in newbie games. At least he knew when to pull the trigger, and being the only one with a Maf kill definitely counts for something.

Princess ♥ Judge Sunrose
Judge really drew the short straw replacing into such a tumultuous slot, especially since none of Lux's tracking attempts had borne fruit. On top of that, he fell for the ruse that sealed the game, giving him little chance to show his skills. Your rhetoric is on point, buddy; the rest will come with time.

Krowley
For the record, yes, both of his characters were last-named Mathers, and yes they're both drunkards. As much as I feel awful for subjecting him to this, I kinda hope he keeps signing up so we can make this a running gag. The Mathers family line will extend through eons, weathering all storms like the mighty cockroach. Seriously though, thanks for once again being such a great sport.

Makaze
Ahh, Mak. Mak, Mak, Mak. Perhaps the most controversial slot in the game. Critique has been steep and plentiful for him already, so to avoid making a dissertation out of this let's just summarize: Good ideas, bad execution. Simultaneously respected and disrespected his fellow players by thinking them above basic slip-ups while trying to railroad them towards a certain style of play. All in all he wasn't a wholly (or, I'd say, even mostly) negative force, but he has as much to learn as anyone else. Can't rush the process, ol' pal.

Marushi ☆ MVP ☆
Surprised? For me there was no contest. Marushi showed ENORMOUS growth from her first game, where she was for the most part mousy and disinclined to sling accusations. Contrast Miami Haze, where she broke such a sweat and drew so much heat that she became a priority target within three game days. Pat yourself on the back, Marmar; you played like a champ.

Beau Midnight Star
Oddly enough, Midny showed as much prowess outside the game as inside; without her, half my votals would've been wrong and I might've even missed a few deadlines. Might be a bit suicidal to admit that but hey, I'm honest to a fault :'D As far as the game proper, she could've easily used her position to slack off and watch events unfold, but she put in work and threw her weight around 'til her very last post, and that deserves ample praise.

Tale
Where were ya, buckaroo? :c A little slack on the activity, but the real downer was that when he did post, much of it was speculation; not evil by design, but you really have to practice moderation with it, especially as a Townie. Not only does it begin to stall the game past a certain point but it is often (and not at all wrongly) used as a mark of Mafia suspicion.

Trigger
...I am so very sorry

TwilightBlader
Not to be cruel, but to put things in perspective: Some people were alive for half the game, yet their posts fill three or four pages of the search engine. Twi's posts don't break one. Can't give you a proper critique if you don't talk, man!

What?
And then there's Ashwin, who either talks a little and says a lot or vice-versa depending on your perspective. Expecting him not to be verbose is like expecting Niagara Falls not to get you wet if you stand too close, but for his part he certainly didn't sit idly on the bench. Your enthusiasm is applaudable and appreciated... but let's just say conciseness is a virtue.

Mafia
In all honesty, I may have made the Mafia a little too strong; being one man down made me want to give them a little more firepower, but perhaps the BPV and Redirector together was a bit much. That said, it never really became a factor because they played their asses off. Whether I made mistakes in the setup or not, this team worked for their win and they fully deserve it.

Hyuge ★ MVP ★
Part one of the deadly duo that ultimately led the charge to victory, surely no one can deny that Hyuge's play was superb. She showed no fear and waded right into discussion, staying active and influential up until the final seconds. That said, some downright comical confusion over the mechanics of her role stalled her in the early game, and she threw up a number of hail marys that I'm surprised no one intercepted—personally confirming a fellow Mafiosi as Town for essentially no reason and making pointed comments about certain roles being just a few. Then again, big risks allow for big rewards, and in the end her style certainly spoke for itself this game.

Jiku Neon Mish
A difficult slot to critique, since she was put in a uniquely tricky position early on—one which, let's face it, condemned her to die but also left her ample rights and privileges to take the piss in the meantime. Hyuge's power-play delayed her sentence just long enough for her to drop a hammer and leave the Town that much further in the hole, so the time she was given certainly didn't go to waste.

TheWorldThatNeverWas Moksha
Full disclosure, Moksha was actually advised by his teammates to stay quiet for the last few days. While I'm not sure I agree with the play (and I definitely don't condone the level to which he did so), it did seem to pay off in that no one really seized on him when everything came down to the wire. I'm just hoping it doesn't become a habit.

Vivi's Dark Side
HEY HYUGE I SEARCHED EVERYBODY'S POSTS AND Y'ALL WERE DEFINITELY BUDDYING NEVER QUESTION THE MOD HARUMPH. Though to her credit Vivs started most of it. Aside from that, a solid Clyde to Hyuge's Bonnie, and a big player in the Mafia's eventual win. Though quieter than his counterpart, he still threw himself into the fray just enough to endear himself to most of the Town and give him sway over the vote.

Third-Party
Well, considering there was only one of you, and you got offed early on...

Ben
Unfortunately 3P is a hard life: Most of the time you either get weeded out early or come so tantalizingly close to your goal only to have it slip through your fingers in the last act. I had hoped he'd last a little longer and turn into a wild card, or failing that win posthumously so I could surprise him with the news, but alas. Spent most of his time in the game arguing with Makaze, and do I blame him? Not necessarily. But my therapist always says, there are only two things you control: your perception, and your reaction. If you get hung up playing defense against somebody's accusations, you're fighting an uphill battle... Hell, you're climbing a mountain. You can't always ignore it, but often it's better to just take the fight to someone else.


Not in-depth enough for you? Feel free to ask for more pointers in a PM/IM.

And that's all for this game. Once again, thank you all for pitching in and making it an experience to remember, and I hope to see you back for another round very soon!

I'm actually not hatin' that, least it's well-done

...what is this witchcraft

WEEK LATE BUT I GOT IT DONE #STORYOFMYLIFE

Spoiler: Prompt #2 ~ Corriente Vida

VERY slapdash, basically a fresh first draft, but I figure that's all right since it gives people lots to critique. Mood music hyar.

It was a surreal feeling, being on the run and looking for a place to hide something at the same time. It took a careful balance of haste and attentiveness, and left Hiba feeling both hot and cold, tense and lax—but most of all, drained. She had no idea how long she'd been running, though her shadow faced east instead of west now... or had she simply been turned around? And she couldn't know how far behind was her pursuer, though she tried not to dwell on it.

Above all else, she worried for the thing cradled gently in her hands, even now radiating warmth and light, sometimes flapping its tiny wings and chirping sweetly. It looked and sounded like a baby bird, but felt like glass; she didn't know which it would act like if she dropped it, nor did she care to. And so she moved not only with quickness but with grace, and her eyes darted back and forth between a jagged, icy landscape and a little bird of amber.

After a near-stumble, she came to rest at the foot of a steep, frosty hill. And there, between glances at her precious cargo, she spied something just on the edge of spying, so subtle she may never have seen it while in motion. She heard it too, as her breathing settled and the pulse of her own heart in her head subsided. A small stream several yards out, trickling not away from the hill but towards it. And where water met ice, the faintest outline of a wide, squat cave mouth. From the wrong angle it would look like a contour in the hill. In other words, perfect.

She jogged the distance to the cave and peered inside. Right away it expanded, so that the stream fell over several short ledges and the ice ceiling rose until one could stand upright within. She took several trying steps into the water, careful not to put her weight on it in case she slipped.

The water swam around her feet. Not in the way water does in pools, nor the way a natural stream flows around obstacles; it swirled deliberately around her, at points turning on a hairpin to lap at her ankles. She stiffened for a moment, her panic-addled mind imagining some terrible elemental rising up from the water.

Then she recalled a story her father once told her, of places where flowing water seemed to reach out to living things that came near it. Corriente vida—a living stream, he'd called it. She'd since learned from stodgier minds that this was caused by trace amounts of a substance that magnetized to anything with enough spiritual presence, but as she knelt down and played in the stream, raising and lowering her hand just above the surface and watching the water rise up briefly to chase it, she smiled and thought she liked her dad's idea better.

A chirp from Hiba's companion snapped her out of her reverie. She stood and followed the stream as far down into the cave as it would go, eventually trudging through it up to the knees, her shoes and trousers soaked, legs chilled to the bone. After several moments she stopped at a point where the ground dropped off sharply and the stream became a river. She turned to see how far she'd gone and only then realized that the sun was no longer visible; the only light came from the ceiling, refracting sun rays, glowing faintly like crystals in the dark.

She stood statuesque for a moment, suddenly at a loss for her next move. She'd put so much stock into finding a place to hide the glass chick, but really, what would she do with it? Just drop it in the water? Would the right people be able to find it there? Would the wrong ones be deterred?

On top of this, the day's events were only just beginning to sink in, trickling down like the stream beneath her feet. The creature in her hands: so strange, yet so familiar and friendly. The ugly gray thing now chasing her: its flesh torn and sinews exposed, its jaw unhinged and closing around the little chick. That numb, choking feeling of loss, as if she were watching the death of a loved one in slow motion...

The next moments were a blur. The screech she heard was hard to describe, almost like the sound of scraping metal mixed with the shrill cry of a fox. Her arms swept up the chick and her legs carried her fast away, both of their own accord. The awful wailing of the thing seemed to come in waves, as though it were staggering after her.

Time and space left her as she ran, and they still had not returned. No one knew where she was, least of all her. Though she'd been aware of sunlight at the mouth of the cave, she didn't know where the sun sat on the horizon, or if it had gone down since she entered. She knew next-to-nothing about the thing she now held, not even if it was safe here.

Sensing her anxiety—or so it seemed—the chick fluttered and cooed softly, closer to a purr than a chirp. The small, yellow gems of its eyes closed, fading into the deep amber of its body. And all at once Hiba flooded with warmth: first hands; then arms; then chest and stomach; head; legs; and finally, heart. The answer came to her then, delivered from the bird itself.

She cupped her hands beneath it, leaned forward just a bit, and lowered it into the water. For an instant doubt seized her again as it sank, and she wondered if it was meant to do so; then, the faint glow it gave off bloomed into many dots of light, spiraling outwards. The lights remained long after it descended from view, coloring the cave with autumn golds and oranges.

Hiba watched it disappear, but this time there was no numbness. She, too, closed her eyes, the glass bird's warmth still with her. Her worries all seemed so distant—where she was, whether her little friend was all right, whether she could get out of here safely, whence came that faint roar that echoed from farther up or why the water around her suddenly surged away from the mouth of the cave—and she knew, above all else, whatever she had done was meant to be, and was done well.

I usually write my stories characters-first, and seeing as art inspires me greatly, I often hunt around for a character portrait or other illustration I like and try to fill in their background, skills, hobbies, etc. I use a similar process in creating setting and the various cultures of my fictional world, only in those cases I draw inspiration from real, existing peoples, past or present. Writing a plot is much more slap-dash for me, I usually just jot down notes when I feel the itch.

Y'all niggas need to relax

Precautionary measure. Anyone with access to both Quicktopics could potentially carry information from one to the other. Not that I didn't trust you, 's just that I was having enough trouble keeping the game together as it was :v

And for those wondering, yes I am working on those critiques, but I've been quite busy lately. We'll see if I get to them this weekend; if not, early next week.

A time-honored tradition of RPG players everywhere

Both wrong

He's asking which of them is the conservative