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I used to have a major obsession with Skillet... listening to them now is like wooooooooaaaaaah... whut?

I loved putting it and majorly talking it up on my CV >:3 Surprisingly, that CV never got me a job.

Wow, not many returning members get 5 pages of posts xD Welcome back Makaze! I wish you all the best in your changed attitudes :3

I remember the day you decided to like all the posts in that thread and bring it all up into our notifications... KS did the same for me today >:3 WE CAN NEVER ESCAPE THAT THREAD!

I bake just to get that chocolate fix. In fact, today I am making rocky road as our house lacks chocolate... I even brought double chocolate digestives to put in them >:3 because rocky road needs MOAR CHOCOLATE!

I can't agree with this more, it's why I feel so bad, he is such a lovely man and he should be treated like one, he's not an object for me to hold onto to cure my loneliness which is another reason to end it with him. Thank you for the advice Chev, it's good to see you again as well : D

Thanks Lux, I think it's what I have been doing for the last few months, asking whether I actually like him and then questioning it and then telling myself I don't, I "fancy" him but not it a lustful way (I try to explain this to some people and they think it's the same thing but you can fancy someone without wanting to have sex with them ;-;). I think part of me is also wanting to be single at this time in my life so I can have a bit of fun (not one night stands but just some freedom) to enjoy myself before settling down... but this is a short lived idea that may become irrelevant later on in life.

Ben is incredibly sensitive, I have seen him cry a lot and my guess was he was just very emotional, I have been through what I am putting him through and I want to end it on a positive note if I do because I have such fear of mentally scaring him... although, I don't think I could avoid this fully. I just wish I knew what was best for me.

Oh yes, I hadn't known him 12 hours before I had seen him cry. I mentioned this to me friends who thought it was really weird but I prefer emotional guys to the tough exterior... but I have been with guys who are emotional and then there is Ben. I don't understand his emotional instability really. I wouldn't say he was clingy, just very devoted. During the times I barely text him he didn't bombard me with texts asking me to reply, he just waited patiently for the next one. Although this is a very nice thing of him to do, I kind of wanted him to fight more, to not be satisfied with just one text a day... but he didn't. I could see him being easily walked over and I was scared of treading on him in any way.

Oh yes! I have felt that heart melting sexual attraction before, when you can't think of anything else and you are just so happy because of that person. I know what that feels like and this isn't it. I always saw that he was someone who would be a great dad and an incredibly caring husband so he would be a safe bet to choose as a life partner... but I don't feel that way about him and I want that, to fall in love and to just enjoy sitting in each others company like that. Perhaps if we did live closer and my mind stopped and gave it a chance but my mind is so fixated on being single at the moment that I am having trouble considering staying with him.

Thank you all for the advice, my mind is saying to end it but I need to think through that decision properly before I do anything.

Thank you very much : D I like that idea, I do love seeing pictures with interesting splashes of colour in it, it was kind of like what I was experimenting with in the background but it would be nicer to do in the piece as a whole.

That is what I am trying to do, I don't really know whether I like cartoony or realism, I can do both and I like both, cartoony is less time consuming though but I prefer the realism pieces. I will probably just continue experimenting and see xD Probably more with realism though as I feel quite comfortable in that. As for what I am trying to say, well, this is mostly just an expression of my fandoms and the deep importance fantasy has on us as a species- fundamentally, I just draw what I feel like drawing because it makes me happy, I don't put any meaning behind it, if someone sees one then that is on them but I consider myself more an illustrator because of that fact.

I shall do that :3 I do kind of want to buy a scrap book and just take it out and sit on a bench and draw just to help me but it's just something I need to get off my butt and do. I've been doodling a lot of hands because I suck at them xD

But thank you very much for the feedback, I shall take it with me as I hope to get better.

The 1 key is right next to the ! key on my phone ;-; crai

Damn, you really went against the grain on that one.

I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday, I must have been super hyper on tiredness or something... but it made me laugh so shh >:3

It's cool >:3 I'll just post start posting rice in your letterbox >:3 100 bags of it.