October 30th 2013, I was up in Bradford visiting a friend at uni and him and his friends decided to take me on a night out for student halloween (drinks were cheaper than on actual halloween). It was quite a lot of fun despite barely knowing anyone and this was where I met Ben. There he was, standing in his vampire cape, dancing and just enjoying himself while I happily pranced around next to him. Long story short, we talked a bit that night and then in the morning we sat and watched Thor and ate cornflakes but I was itching to get back to my friend's flat. It wasn't that I didn't like him, he was nice, I just wasn't interested in starting anything with him and when I told him this he cried. So I invited him to the party we were having in our flat the following day which he came along to but because of the distance I just wasn't interested in a relationship. We stayed in touch and texted every day and, over the months, I faced the decision about whether to go out with him and give the relationship a chance or not. To put it in perspective, we currently live about 3 hour drive apart and next year, when I go to uni, it'll be more like 4 hours if not more (google maps telling me it's a 5hr 20 train ride). Alas, we clicked so well, we were incredibly similar and he was just easy to talk to and I decided to give the relationship a shot when I went to see him at the beginning of February. We talked daily, played Portal 2 together online, skyped, planned visits but the distance was a thing that was really getting to me, but it was more than that- last august I was willing to get into a long distance relationship with a guy who I really liked but I just didn't feel the same about Ben. These feelings became even more apparent when he came down to visit me and I realised I didn't want to kiss him or hold his hand and I had no sexual thoughts about him. My God he was an amazing person to be with and he is so beautiful but that's it really. He was the embodiment of what my perfect guy would be like and yet I didn't have any sexual attraction to him and I still don't know why (my current guess is, psychologically, I am building up a defense against liking him because of the distance but I don't know how much truth there is to that). I debated with myself for a while, deciding whether or not to end it with him, I talked with people and thought that with uni coming up, my time was getting gradually more full with work and next year would be even worse with everything I plan on taking part in. There just wasn't time to sustain a long distance relationship, even now I have about 1 free day a week where I don't have to be anywhere but I might not even have that next year. So I told him we should have a 1 day meet up in Leeds and this was the time I planned on breaking up with him... this was yesterday. May 30th 2014, after a day of looking around the Royal armory and eating Nandos, we sat on a bench in the middle of Leeds, I was distance and he asked what was wrong. This was the time to do it. I decided to leave out the part about me having no sexual feelings for him and focused on the distance. He cried and said it really didn't matter, we would find time, I brought up the point I'd text him about once a day for a month or so and he said he didn't care if it was once a day or once a month, as long as we were together. It was heart wrenching and absolutely horrible, he shot down my every concern with his words of love and I felt like a monster. I didn't want him to be like this, I wanted him to fight for more, to not be satisfied with such a meager relationship but he said he was and yet, I couldn't agree. Sadly, his train was 15 minutes after my coach and so he would have to be by himself in an unstable condition and I was so scared that he would do something stupid (I nearly did when I was broken up with a few years back, it was my friends who set me right) so I suggested we go on a break for a month to cool off and, come July 1st we would talk about this again and settle it once and for all. Now here is my problem, when he left I missed him, when he asked if he could kiss me goodbye my heart melted a bit, the kiss was actually really good and all of this left me so unsure of my feelings for him. I honestly think the relationship will be ripped apart by time and distance eventually but I don't think I could ever find someone so devoted and loving as Ben and anyone would be an idiot to give up that devotion... wouldn't they? I just don't think I can reciprocate. So I don't really know what I want from you all, I doubt there is one right answer but just advice... I really don't know what to do in this situation and I am lost in all my ideas and negative thoughts.
Yeah, we've just had christmas haven't we? I'm still buzzing off the 50th anniversary... ... Hasn't the Twelfth doctor just been announced?...
I know ;-; I recon there is a truth behind it somewhere like maybe it'll be tomorrow or next saturday but I think that there will be one very soon...
... Wow, so you really can't eat normally in Bioshock? xD Also, I watched the tv at 8:30 and there was no trailer. I crai.
I am not a big anime person, I think watching the sub is good to get the feel of it and watch it the way it was intended but I just prefer the dub because I find it easier to watch and even if english VAs are bad at times I dont' really care, I'd rather watch that then spend my time staring at subtitles. I watched Ginga densetsu Weed as sub and had quite a few troubles with it because there were scenes in particular (in a snow storm) where it was hard to read so I had to constantly stop the episode to try and read it. It wasn't bad, I thoroughly enjoyed the anime but it felt like it would have been improved in my eyes as a dub.
Obviously the guy has to be wearing a horse mask xD The Skyrim one is brilliant because it is just so true 0.o it's how they can eat in the middle...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGrtDAx5ywg Oh so true :3
Boxes can be fun too : D this stock photo is evidence of that :3 Spoiler
Woo : D and now you should cover your psp in a bubble wrap casing so that it will always be okay :3 plus bubble wrap <3
It is drummed into our heads and yet people still take them. Most of the people at my work either smoke cigarettes (not an illegal drug but I am counting it here) or weed or both and one of the people I get on with best was trying to convince me to try Weed. He explained that it's not that bad, not addictive etc. but I refuse to be drawn into any drug use. Part of me is really curious but since I've never tried any of them then I don't know what I am missing and I would much rather stay that way lest I get addicted to another drug or somehow fall into the bad lifestyle. I am basically being better safe than sorry and the same with cigarettes but I know they are addictive and really don't want to get into that lifestyle. It's the same reason I don't drink tea or coffee, I really don't want to become dependent on any of them, they are not nearly as bad but I am fine the way I am currently. Chocolate, chocolate is my drug and that's all I really need : D Of course, this is just my philosophy and I have just scared myself shitless into ever trying one. Other people obviously find a lot of relief in them and it is sad that a lot of them don't find the right moderation and get strongly addicted. It mostly comes out in the way of alcohol addiction but can go onto more severe drug use. No amount of education will stop that, I see it more as a psychological issue (but I study psychology... so I suppose that's how I see the world xD)
How could I possibly forget? xD I'm sure @Cat~ would love to make you staff while we're at it >:3
If you do any of the advice above, I advise not doing it over text... at least a phone call because then they have to respond and texts won't get ignored and they can't meticulously think about what they are saying so hopefully the truth will come out because that is what you want.
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought of this. I didn't even know there was a film with the same name 0.o
Google is like a woman... it just remembers everything >:3
Oh of course >:3 We always do xD We shall soon burn the world like yours! And then we shall take over KHV and it shall become KatCat.net!
Oh yes >:3 trust me, I am a doctor, I know my stuff MWHAHAHA! I was... until med schools decided they didn't want me and then I couldn't be bothered to reapply on the slim chance of getting in.
Not only have women been seen as fragile beings but are currently fighting centuries of oppression and since society says "Men are the stronger sex" it assumes they can handle it when that shouldn't be the case. I see pictures of "It's never okay to hit a woman" but really it should never be okay to hit anyone- perhaps some circumstances call for it and, as PaW said, sex shouldn't matter but it does become a factor because of feminism.
I think this member suits me perfectly >:3
Is Nintendo the only company doing this though?
That's definitely the way to do it : D I am doing very well, I am filling my world with rainbows and sparkles.... for the moment >:3
