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You. Probably! If you're reading this you're either a vet looking for a good laugh, a troll who's not actually reading it and just scrolled past this part to mindlessly type "tl;dr character limit" in the Quick Reply, or a fresh-faced youngblood who actually thought this guide would be useful for anything. Joke's on you! Or for you. I dunno. We'll just pretend you're new.

Now, maybe you think you're hot shit 'cause you've been posting around the KH sections for a spell, making a name for yourself as the #1 most devoted fan of the Struggle coordinator, and you think you're ready for the big leagues. But the Spamzone is a whole other ball game. Leave your Keyblades at the door and grab a straitjacket, grasshopper; your teaching is about to begin.​

A.K.A. Nouveau Nova, Sforzato, Flare Sword, Tyrant Novatorez

Self-proclaimed (and otherwise unrecognized) King of the Spamzone with a rapidly fluctuating ego and a posse the size of the sun, Nova is one of the newer entries to the 'Zone gang - though older than he looks, as he's been beyond the permaban horizon. Brash and impulsive, he picks a fight every chance he gets, yet somehow he's still friends with like everybody. It's weird. His hobbies include writing, gaming, eating, amateur video editing, and trying way too hard to make people laugh - or piss them off, one of the two. He is given to INTERNET WHITE KNIGHTism, always jumping at the chance to sock the jaws of any trolls, haters, or ne'er-do-wells he finds.

Nova is loud, rambunctious, and emotional; if you haven't heard from him on the forum for a while, rest assured he's either preparing to drop a bomb or stirring up trouble on Skype. And somewhere amidst his constant, obnoxious bids for attention and fame, he may have actually achieved a modicum of popularity? Not sure how that happened. Regardless, he tries to keep it real at all times, and genuinely enjoys the company of others.

Recently, Nova has taken to warring with the other two authors, SJ and Ghetto, going so far as to blast them with his almighty Nova Flare attack - though it remains in question if they actually acknowledge his "war."

Now you KNOW I wouldn't let those other two plebs write my article ~ Nova​

Aw, WHAT DID YOU DO? Did somebody actually hit the report button!? Shit, now a mod's looking at the thread and... Gooood damn it. Well, looks like the rabble got too rowdy, and the rainbow po-po showed up to make sho yo little side show is no mo. In other words, your thread got locked. Keep walkin', nothing to see here.

There are a lot of reasons for a thread to get locked. Sometimes the trolls start a gang war and somebody gets shot. Sometimes staff remembers the site actually has rules. Sometimes the OP throws a tantrum and kicks everybody out. No matter the reason, once lockdown is complete, you can kiss your pony!AkuRoku shrine goodbye.

Select individuals are able to breach the sanctity of The Lock and post afterward; those who achieve this insane feat are revered as lesser deities.

Authored by ARS NOVA​

Are you ready to be the HERO OF AN EPIC just by posting retarded three-word sentences on an internet forum!? Then saddle up, little buckaroo. Strictly a variety of Spamzone thread, one talented member tells a story through words or pictures while you, the everyman, move the story forward by posting suggestions on what should happen next, as if you were a master artisan crafting your own fantastic tale. It's like crowd funding, only with writing! What'll they think of next?

A wholesome and enjoyable pastime on any other forum, but good luck starting one here; most KH-Vidians are scared and confused by threads that ask for their input, especially in vague and obtuse ways, and often don't know how to react. Usually you have to have a neat gimmick to succeed - unless you're Jiku, then you do what you want.

Authored Inscribed on a bronzed statue of ARS NOVA​

Well kid, you did it. One way or another you angered the gods. Maybe you threatened to hack the boards a new asshole. Maybe you posted some LEWD KAIRIxNAMINÉ YURIs. Maybe you looked at one of the admins funny. But somehow, some way, you got noticed in a classroom full of hooligans, and the teacher sent your ass packing. You're out of the circle jerk. And there's no reversing your fate; all of your hard-earned Likes (pfft) have already been tossed out the airlock.

But worry not, little sinner. At the turn of the century, if you've prayed and repented and sacrificed virgins and gotten in good with the rainbow squad on Skype, you'll be allowed a chance to reincarnate as a pure, rosy-cheeked young lass once again. And in the meantime you'll be revered as a martyr, even if you went out on a bitch fit. It's true! Anyone who breaks the law is automatically a heroic vigilante, right? You're like Batman. But with a Keyblade. ...Sorry, board. Keyboard.

Authored Delivered from on high by ARS NOVA​