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  1. stripy4
    Important Message, please read!

    *Grins* Queen of random? Awesome!

    Thank you!

    Again, thank you!

    Uh...... After I guess. Yeah, Alexia's in it, so after.

    NO!! DON'T DIE!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER LAW-SUIT!!!!
    XD There's a good idea!

    Okay guys, listen. I love writing this story, and I love you guys (but not in a weird, creepy stalker way), but I think I'm going to have to take a break for a while. It's not that the story is ending, but I've started Year 10, and I'm going to be blunt: I have got a couple of tonnes of homework. Or Home Learning, as we are supposed to call it. (BULL ALERT!)
    I've also got coursework, and I need maths tuition. Over the half term, when I was going to try and write another chapter, I got THREE pieces of coursework! Right now, I'm trying to finish one that is due in for tommorrow. I promise, the second my teachers stop trying to kill us by breaking our backs, I'll be back! (Yes, I nicked that line from Terminator. Couldn't resist it!) Can't keep away, after all, you guys rock! And I really think emo-bunny might hunt me down and kill me.

    So this is stripy4, signing out with:


    ~KAAAAAAABBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~
    "VEXEN!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!?!?!!?"
    "IS BLOWING UP ROXAS SUCH A CRIME?!?!?!"
    "YOU BLEW UP ROXAS?!?!! YOU CAN CLEAN THAT UP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    "Dude, he just blew up Roxas!"
    ".........?"
    "Only hope of getting Kingdom Hearts?"
    "OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!! VEXEN!!!!!! STOP MOPPING THE FLOOR SO I CAN GO JEDI KNIGHT ON YOUR REAR END!!!!!!!!"
    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    IT BURNS PLACES THAT SHOULDN'T BE BURNING!!!!!!"
    Post by: stripy4, Feb 25, 2009 in forum: Archives
  2. stripy4
    This is an actual conversation between my mum and I yesterday.

    Mum: You've got your confirmation and your birthday in May.
    Me: I noticed.
    Mum: I think you're going to have to do something you don't like beginning with 'S'.
    Me: *Saying the first thing that came to mind* Sacrilege?
    Mum: :blink:

    The answer by the way, was 'shopping'.

    I think I have finally, totally and utterly, 100% lost the plot.
    Thread by: stripy4, Feb 24, 2009, 3 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  3. stripy4
    All the time.
    And I've tried folding. Does not work.
    Post by: stripy4, Feb 24, 2009 in forum: The Spam Zone
  4. stripy4
    Orginization Chaos Christmas Special Part One: Fairy lights, fairies, and donkeys

    Makes sense to me. Wait. Sense? OH MY GOD! EVIL! EVIL!! KILL IT! KIIIIIIIIILLLLLL IIITTT!!!
    'Course I'm going to include you! And thanks!

    Thank god you stopped! I'm happy my story causes such hyperness!

    Yes, I noticed that you do that... and thank you!

    Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

    New chapter? Not quite...

    NEW SUB STORY!!!

    Yes, I have decided, being in the festive mood and whatnot, to write a Christmas special. Boy, am I going to regret this...


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    ORGANIZATION CHAOS CHRISTMAS SPECIAL PART ONE!!!!

    The World that Never Was looked almost beautiful. Well, as beautiful as a world full of darkness and bathed in eerie moonlight can. It was covered in snow so white, it shimmered. He thought of all the other worlds he had visited, and did his best to imagine them covered in snow. Would it have the same effect or…

    “ROXAS! STOP STANDING THERE LOOKING GNORMLESS AND HELP ME!!†Roxas turned to face Axel. A massive grin burst over his face.
    “STOP LAUGHING!!†Bellowed Axel, looking like he was about to explode.
    “How can anyone NOT laugh?†Replied Roxas. Axel had been trying to put the multicoloured lights up on a Christmas tree, and had failed. Miserably. He was tangled up in the lights, which were on in such a way he was balancing on one foot.
    “Roxas, if you don’t help me, I will make sure you NEVER have kids!†Before Roxas could reply, (probably with something much ruder) a figure appeared in the doorway.
    “Well†Said Larxene, malevolence and pure psychosis dripping out of her voice “I wonder what would happen if I shocked you right now.â€
    “DON’T YOU DARE!! ROXAS!! HELP!â€
    “Come on Larxene! What has Axel ever done to you?â€
    “He read my diary!!â€
    “Larxene, EVERYONE reads your diary!â€
    “WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?†Screamed Larxene. Roxas glanced at the still tied up Axel.
    “I just said something REALLY stupid, didn’t I?â€
    “When DON’T you?†Axel replied, rolling his eyes. Larxene smiled, and started to charge up a ball of electricity.
    “This is going to hurt.†Axel and Roxas muttered at the same time.

    BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A duet of screams and “No! Larxene NO!!†Echoed around the Castle that never was.

    So… this is Christmas?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Meanwhile…
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Demyx glanced up at the screams echoing around the castle.
    “AH-HA! YES! I WIN AGAIN!!†Demyx glared at Luxord. “The munny please.†Asked Luxord, clicking his fingers.
    “Hey, did you hear that?â€
    “Hear what?â€
    “The screams of pain as 2 young men fight for survival against a bitter twisted temptress?†remarked Zexion from the corner of the library. Demyx and Luxord glanced at each other.
    “What he said.†Demyx said, with a heavy roll of his eyes.
    “Yes, I did, but I decided not to look up so I could win.â€
    “You sick, twisted old… Wanna see what happened?â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!â€
    “The screams are getting louder.†Stated Zexion, ambling along the corridors ahead Demyx and Luxord.
    “Yeah, well I could’ve told you that.†Muttered Demyx. Zexion paused, then stuck out his arm to stop them. Whacking Demyx in the face during the process.
    “WHAT THE HELL?! WHY MY FACE? IT’S THE CUTEST THING ABOUT ME!!†Screamed Demyx. Zexion merely held up a finger.
    “Through there.†Demyx and Luxord shrugged, and walked through the door.
    Luxord, Demyx and Zexion looked at each other. Than burst out laughing.
    “STOP LAUGHING AND HELP US!†Screamed Axel, who by now, was lying on the floor, slightly singed. Roxas was unconscious.
    “Just wait a second.â€
    “Demyx, why the HELL are you taking a picture?â€
    “This is soooo going on myspace.â€
    “You put this on myspace, and you get it up the Araaaaaaahh! STOP IT LARXENE!â€

    Larxene spun around to face the new arrivals. “Did you read my diary!?†She snarled, summoning her kunai.
    “No.â€
    “YOU LIE!!!â€
    “Shut up.†Luxord sighed. “And stop trying to kill Axel and Roxas.â€
    “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Larxene screamed, grabbed hold of Axel, and threw him at Luxord.
    “OOF!!!!â€
    “OW!!!!â€
    The duo yelled as they fell backwards out of the room, and rammed into Saïx.
    “… I don’t want to know what happened here, do I?†Saïx asked after a lengthy silence.
    “No. Not really.†There was a long silence as the nobodies noticed what Saïx was wearing.
    “You’re an elf?†Larxene said, breaking the silence. Saïx sighed impatiently, and tried to look as dignified as a nobody can when they’re wearing an elf costume. Complete with bells on the curly toed shoes.
    “Yes XII. I am wearing an elf costume.†Saïx sighed.
    “Why?†Axel managed to choke out.
    “Because the superior instructed me to. And don’t laugh, compared to you guys, I got off easy.†This caused everyone’s faces to pale. “Your costumes are in your rooms. Go and change into them.†And with that, Saïx left.
    “He’s bluffing.†Axel grinned.
    “You sure?†Zexion glanced at the pyro.
    “C’mon! What could be worse than an elf?â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Oh Axel. How wrong you were.

    “This,†Axel proclaimed, half an hour later. “Is illegal. It must be!â€
    “Shut up Axel.†Demyx sighed, attempting to cross his arms, which was hard.
    “You are not the nobody who is dressed up AS A MINCE PIE!!!!â€
    “You’re right. I’m a blimmin’ turkey instead!†Demyx yelled, spreading his arms which were painted brown. “You know this is all your fault! Ever heard of Karma? ‘Oh, what can be worse than an elf?’ THIS is!â€
    “Demyx, I’m a mince pie! A MINCE PIE!!!!â€
    “You. Guys. Are. Lucky.†Larxene hissed, stepping into the corridor. The two nobodies stared at you.
    “What are you supposed to be?â€
    “I,†Larxene hissed. “Am… Mrs Claus.†There was a long silence. “Laugh, and I’ll murder you in your sleep.â€
    “I still think I’m worse off.†Larxene stared at Axel.
    “What are you even supposed to be?â€
    “A mince pie.†There was another silence.
    “Oh, Axel, you’re right. That IS worse. What the hell are you Demyx?â€
    “A turkey.â€
    “Wow. Saïx might eat you.†Larxene snickered.
    “Oh, that’s it! DANCE WAT-“
    “DO YOU WANT ME TO ELECTROCUTE YOU?!!?!?!?!?â€
    “DON’T DANCE WATER DON’T!!!!â€

    “Good turkey thingy.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Roxas stared at himself in the mirror.

    He was a Christmas tree.

    He was a bloody Christmas tree.

    “This is monstrous.†Said the youngest nobody. “Monstrous. Where did he even find these hideous outfits?â€
    “Roxas?†An overgrown mince-pie shuffled into the room.
    “Overgrown mince-pie?â€
    “’S me.†The mince-pie replied. “Why are you a Christmas tree?â€
    “Why are you a mince-pie?â€
    “Touché.†Axel tried to shuffle forwards. He failed. “Roxas?â€
    “Yeah?â€
    “I’m stuck in the doorway.â€
    “I think these,†Roxas attempted to gesture to the costumes. “Thes- The costumes, are revenge for all the mansex comments.â€
    “Probably. Although… Saïx IS an elf.â€
    “Elf or Mince-pie?â€
    “Elf, but don’t tell anyone I said that.†Axel tried to walk forwards again. “I’m going to be proud of mince-pieness. Oh for PITY’S SAKE HELP ME!!â€
    “I can’t move.†Roxas realized. “My feet are in a pot.â€
    “What? Does Mansex think you’re going to take root?â€
    “Since when did you know anything about gardening?â€
    “…I’ve been hanging out with Flowa Powa too long.â€
    “It’s weird how easily you can be influenced.†Roxas muttered, before deciding to try and jump over to Axel.
    He ended face down on the floor of his room.
    “Ow…†He muttered, examining his floor. “I really need to Hoover this room.â€
    “That’s it Roxas!†Axel exclaimed happily. “We’ll roll you around! Hold still, I’m going to back up and get Demyx!â€
    “No, Axel! A soldier would never leave a comrade in the battlefield!†Roxas yelled after him.
    “……Excellent point Roxas! I’ll get through this door, even if I die in a massive ball of flames in the process!â€
    “Whatever, so long as you don’t set my room alight.â€
    “I’ll try not to!â€
    “Axel.â€
    “OK, I won’t set your room on fire, now stop being a big baby and try to roll towards the door!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Where Nothing Gathers was covered in tinsel in many colors: White (Duh), Black (God knows where they managed to find all that from), Red (Mm), and Gold (It matches Xemnas’ eyes). The worse thing however was the holly. Which had been put on the arms of the chair.

    “OW!!â€
    “OH GOD MY ARMS!! MY ARMS!!!â€
    “THIS JUST PROVES THAT EVERYTHING TO DO WITH MARLUXIA IS EVIL!!!â€


    Were some of the comments heard.
    The next person to appear in ‘Where Nothing Gathers’ was Marluxia. And he was…

    “Oh. My. God.†Larxene managed to squeak out after a minute. Everyone’s face was pale, until Demyx started s******ing.
    “You’re a fairy!†Demyx burst out laughing. Marluxia glared at him, which would have been scary if it weren’t for the fact he was wearing a pink dress, a tiara, and holding a wand with feathers stuck on it.
    “I prefer the term…†Marluxia was silent for a minute.
    “There is no other term. Face it Marly – You are a fairy.â€
    “… Ethereal being.â€
    “So, basically a fairy.â€
    “I hate you all very much.â€
    “No Marly – Fairies cannot hate! Only love one another!â€
    “SHUT UP!!â€
    “I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE-“
    “DEMYX DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!?!â€
    “WE’RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY!!!â€
    “SHUT UP BARNEY LOVER!!â€
    “HOW DARE YOU!! DANCE WATER-“
    “ELECTROCUTION!!!â€
    “NEVER MIND WATER!!!â€
    Another figure portalled into his chair.
    “Zexion, what the hell are you supposed to be.â€
    “A reindeer.†Zexion muttered. Wearing a furry brown coat and a blob of red paint on his noise, he looked the most ordinary.
    “Where are your horns?â€
    “I have them hidden in a pocket. I’m not planning to put them on until either Xemnas or Saïx appear.†Zexion then saw Marluxia. “Heaven above, what is it?â€
    “A fa-“
    “Ethereal being!†Marluxia interrupted.
    “A fairy?†Zexion stared, before bursting into hysterics.
    “Your costume made Zexion laugh. It’s the end of the world.†Larxene said, watching as the aforementioned Zexion laughed so hard he fell off his chair.

    THUD!

    “…Oh God, I am in pain!†He yelled from the floor. At which point, Vexen and Lexaeus appeared.
    “What the hell are you two supposed to be?†Larxene asked looking back and forth.
    “I am the Christmas Star.†Muttered Vexen, attempting to cross his arms. “Lexaeus is a sled, as far as I can tell.â€
    “I know Mansex is dumb,†Marluxia grumbled, leaning back in his chair. “But I think he has reached new levels of extreme stupidity.â€
    “How true.†Xaldin portalled into his chair, and everyone stared.
    “Wha…?†Larxene asked, as her wooly hat slipped down her head.
    “I am Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.†Xaldin muttered darkly, looking very uncomfortable in ruby red shoes and a blue checked dress. “The superior says it is the best Christmas movie out there.â€
    “………………………………………………………………………………†For the first time in the history of the Organization, everyone lost the ability to speak. This was not helped by the arrival of Xigbar, who was-
    “The Grinch?!â€
    “The second best Christmas film of all time.†Xigbar explained, leaning back in his chair as Xaldin s******ed. “Hey, at least I’m not cross-dressing!â€
    Next was Luxord, who was dressed as the ghost of –
    “Christmas past, present, AND future?â€
    “Eh. Better than a fairy.â€
    “I AM NOT A FAIRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Wings. Wand. Colors that sear the eyeballs. Fairy.â€
    “Hey.†Alexia portalled into the meeting room, carrying what appeared to be a dead animal.
    “What the hell are you carrying?â€
    “Costume.†Alexia held up.
    “Is that a head!?â€
    “It’s a donkey you dumbos.†Alexia sighed and shook her head. “And no, I didn’t kill one and skin it. I brought it. How heartless do you think I am?â€
    “So you are not heartless enough to kill a donkey, but you ARE heartless enough to shoot Flounder?â€
    “Who isn’t heartless enough to shoot that fish? Blimmin’ annoying.â€
    “Where are the others?â€
    “Who knows?â€

    SWISH!

    Two dark portals appeared in the meeting room.
    “Axel? Roxas?â€
    “Yea?†The duo replied in unison.
    “Roxas, what the hell are you supposed to be?â€
    “A Christmas tree.†Roxas muttered. “Where’s Xemnas? I want to find out how long we have to wear these for.â€
    “Alexia, you need to put your costume on before moon boy or mansex find you.â€
    “Sorted.†And with that, Alexia slammed the head of the donkey onto her head. “I am a beheaded donkey.â€
    “Yes, because donkeys are famous for having no bodies when they are beheaded.â€
    “Silence.†Saïx portalled into the room, looking as serious as a nobody can when they are dressed as an elf. “The superior is coming.†He glanced at Alexia. “Number XIV, you need to put your costume on.â€
    “So do you.â€
    “I am wearing my costume.â€
    “Seriously?†Alexia crossed her arms and stared. “An elf?â€
    “Seriously? A donkey?†Saïx asked, mimicking her actions.
    “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!! Alexia got boyed!â€
    “Yo mama.†Alexia muttered.
    “I have no mama.†Saix explained calmly.
    “Ooooooh…†Everyone sighed and tutted. “He was so close to being normal.â€

    At which point, Xemnas portalled into the room wearing –

    “HOLY CRAP!!â€
    “OH… MY… GOD!!â€

    “I don’t know whether to laugh, or to be scared.â€
    “……………………………………………?!?!?â€
    “What in the name of non-exsistance?â€
    “… You look very nice superior.â€
    “OH MY FREAKING EYES!!â€
    “NUUUUUUH!! AXEL, BURN MY EYES OUT!!â€

    “What the…â€
    “THAT IS WORSE THAN THIS!!â€
    “Not getting out of it that easy Marl.â€
    “I still say my costume is worse.â€
    “I can’t see, this donkey doesn’t have any eyeholes. Damn!â€

    Yes, Xemnas was dressed up as Father Christmas.

    Christmas is doomed…

    “Now then,†Xemnas said in his. “As you are aware, today is the first day of December.â€
    “No way Sherlock!â€
    “As such, we are to celebrate the holiday known as………â€
    “Christmas?â€
    “I was coming to that VIII.â€
    “Only trying to help the meeting along.â€
    “Why are we celebrating it?†Xigbar frowned.
    “Because the author was bored and hyper.†Marluxia muttered darkly.
    “Fourth wall-“ Roxas began before being interrupted by Larxene.
    “Is long dead, let’s just let it rest in peace.â€
    “Amen.â€
    “Indeed.†Xemnas boomed. “Now then, I have task assigned to you that must be completed by the 24th of December. We shall then celebrate Christmas –“
    “On the 25th?â€
    “Yes.†Xemnas nodded. “Numbers VIII, IX, VI, XI, XIII and XIV are decorating the castle. Numbers II, III, IV, V, VII, and XII will be in charge of organizing the cookery and gathering the tree.†Xemnas nodded sagely.
    “And you Sarge?†Marluxia asked sarcastically.
    “I shall be in charge of the presents, of course.†Every nobody exchanged glances. “You are dismissed. Oh, and XIV, you must put your full costume on.â€
    “How the hell am I supposed to do that?!†Alexia yelled. “It’s for two people!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The Mince Pie costume: That was what I had to dress up as for Christmas when I was five years old. I remeber being chased around the stage with people singing 'Mince pie, mince pie, let's eat you...'

    Without that experience, I probably wouldn't be as insane as I am today. So that Mince Pie Costume has a LOT to answer for!

    Savvy me hearties?
    Insanly yours
    stripy4
    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Dec 1, 2008 in forum: Archives
  5. stripy4
    Chapter XIX: Vans, Floors, and bear traps

    Incorrect... God guess though.

    SENSE? SENSE?!!?!?! EVIL!! EVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!! *Wimpers*

    Almost correct....

    Tee-hee-hee! That's funny!
    "Sora, I love you, BUT MOVE!!!"


    Nope. However, Saix and Leon do meet up... But in a strange way...

    How true... He is a lap-dog...

    [OLIVERTWIST] SPAM! WONDERFUL SPAM!!! WE'RE READY TO POST IT!!! [OLIVERTWIST/]

    Thank you!

    ..................................... *Is throughly creeped out*

    *Grabs your arm* Take me with you.

    Right, you loyal readers (and spammers), here is the new chapter! More appearences from you lot, more randomness, and who is better: Sora or Kairi?
    Also, this is my longest chapter: 13 PAGES!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Riku remained pinned to the floor.
    “Bow pong gare uoo naying peher tro?†(How long are you staying here for?) The three fans remained silent.
    “Don’t know.â€
    “Gah.†(Ah.) At which point, Demyx walked into the room, and beamed at Riku and Alexia.
    “I’m hungry.†He announced.
    “Mime keying mophed.†(I’m being glomped.)
    “I’m probably being head-hunted by several Final Fantasy characters.†Alexia shrugged. “We’ve all got our aliments. Yours, Demyx, can be solved by looking around the kitchen for food. Riku, yours can be solved by getting some degree of confidence, and mine can be solved by blaming Marluxia for everything. Ever.â€
    “Even Global warming?â€
    “Totally his fault.†Alexia nodded. “All of it.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, in another part of the castle…

    “OW!â€
    “DAMMIT!! MY EYE!!!!â€
    “FOR ****’S SAKE SORA, YOU DON’T SHOVE THE KEY IN YOUR EYE!!!!â€
    “AERITH PUSHED ME!!!!â€
    “NO I DIDN’T!!â€
    “HOW DO YOU USE THIS VAN!??!?!!?â€
    “Ack…†Cloud slammed his head onto the dashboard. “It’s perfectly simple. You put the KEY into the SLOT.â€
    “What, my keyblade?â€
    “NO! The IGNITION key.†A long pause. “The little key on the ‘Wutai’ key ring.â€
    “Key ring?â€
    “The little thing that says ‘Wutai’! The key that’s on it! That’s the ignition key, now put it into the slot!â€
    “Which slot?â€
    “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DRIVING?! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A CAR IS!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, the breakaway group were making progress.

    Sort of.

    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€

    One thing you have to say about Kairi, is that she has extraordinary amounts of patience. She had not yet slapped, punched, kicked or threatened Yuffie. The same could not be said for Tifa.

    “Are we th- AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGH! TIFA, NO FAIR KICKING ME IN THE HEAD!!!â€
    “YUFFIE, NO FAIR SAYING ‘ARE WE THERE YET’ EVERY TEN BLOODY SECONDS WHEN IT IS OBVIOUS THAT WE ARE NOT THERE YET!!!!â€
    “… I forgot, where are we going?â€
    “MUST! KILL! YUFFIE!â€
    “Tifa, stop being dumb by talking like the Hulk. Next thing, you’ll be punching a wall screaming, ‘TIFA SMASH!’†Naminé sighed, holding onto a pair of binoculars, keeping watch as the group went along.
    “Can I punch Yuffie screaming ‘Tifa smash’?â€
    “No.†Kairi intercepted. “And Yuffie, we’re going to save Roxas, Axel and Xemnas from the fan-girls and fan-boys.â€
    “I need to go toilet.â€
    “You should have gone before we left.â€
    “Is there a bush I can pee behind?â€
    “No.â€
    “I’m suffering from travel sickness.â€
    “A fact we did not need or want to know.â€
    “Can I have a hug?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “What about now?â€
    “No.â€
    “Will we ever get there?â€
    “Not at this rate. Now grow up, shut up, and SUCK IT UP!!!â€

    Yup, Naminé had snapped.

    Bets on how long it takes for Kairi to snap?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Roxas had a problem.

    As in, Axel would not shut up, and Xemnas was trying to murder Axel.
    Oh, who said being a keyblade wielding nobody was easy?
    Well, no-one did, but that’s besides the point.

    “EVERYBODY IS KUNG FU FIGHTING! DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!â€
    “Oh my god…†Roxas covered his ears. “It never stops! It NEVER stops!â€
    “THOSE KIDS ARE FAST AS LIGHTING!!! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAAH - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Oh my god… XEMNAS PUT AWAY THE LIGHTSABERS!â€
    “THEY’RE AERIAL BLADES!!!â€
    “THEY’RE LIGHTSABERS, LIVE WITH IT!!!!†Roxas yelled, making Xemnas angry enough…
    To chase him around the room, screaming curses. And in the midst of all this, was Axel, singing his favourite song.
    “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€
    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€
    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€
    “That’s it, I’m leaving.†Leon walked out of the van, and headed into the castle.
    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€
    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€
    “GIVE ME THE KEYS!â€
    “NO!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Saïx was very close to berserking. Extremely close.

    “No Lexaeus, you don’t tie the rope to the door!â€
    “…?â€
    “Because you don’t! It’s just one of those things you don’t do! Like questioning me!â€
    “…!â€
    “I know Axel does, but if Axel jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?â€
    “…â€
    “Frankly, you’re dumb, and I don’t know why you’re here.â€
    “…â€
    “Screw you.â€
    “Are you guys done arguing yet?†Luxord asked. “If you could call this arguing.â€
    “Silence X.â€
    “…â€
    “Yes, I know that you have a higher rank than me, but Xemnas said never to do anything, again, ever, since the flying rock circus.â€
    “…!â€
    “You knocked,†Saïx paused to count on his fingers. “Axel, Roxas, Demyx, Vexen, me, The Superior, Marluxia, Larxene, Sephiroth, Cid, those annoying pixies, Elvis Presley, the entire cast of Holby City, and Hugh Grant unconscious with the flying rock circus.â€
    “…!â€
    “Yes, I know you loved the rocks, but you nearly killed someone.â€
    “…â€
    “You nearly killed me!â€
    “…â€
    “I don’t have a mother!â€
    “…!â€
    “YOU DON’T HAVE A MOTHER EITHER, YOU’RE A NOBODY!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE KEY, SO GOD HELP ME SORA, I’LL OMMISLASH YOUR A***!!!!â€
    “SO?! I’LL USE TRINITY!!â€
    “THE DUCK AND THE DOG/HORSE/DONKEY AREN’T HERE!!!â€
    “I CAN USE TRINITY WITHOUT THEM!!!!â€
    “… OH, I FORGOT THAT!â€
    “WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING!?!??!?!â€
    “BECAUSE AERITH IS SLIGHTLY DEAF!!!â€
    “TRUE THAT!!!â€

    “Oh my god…†Sephiroth sighed, and held his head in his hands, listening to the unfolding argument.
    “I CAN DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE!!!!â€
    “SO CAN I, YOU STUPID KID!!! AND MY MOTORCYCLE IS BETTER THAN YOURS!!!â€
    “IS NOT!â€
    “IS SO!â€
    “IS NOT!â€
    “IS SO!â€

    Be afraid.

    Why?
    *Insert appropriate dramatic music here*

    BECAUSE THIS IS THE PART WHERE SEPHIROTH COMPLETELY SNAPS!!!!!!!!!!

    “OH MY GOD!!!!†Sephiroth leapt off the roof of the van. “EVERYONE SHUT UP BEFORE I USE HEARTLESS ANGEL!!!!! I DON’T THINK I WON’T, BECAUSE I WILL YOU MORONS!!!!!!!!†Silence reined.

    For two seconds.

    “All you need to not get killed by that is an elixir.â€
    “How true.â€
    “FINE!!! THEN I WILL STAB YOU!!!!â€
    “What, like Xaldin?â€
    “I WILL!!!! KILL!!!!! YOU!!!! ALL!!!!!!â€
    “Awwwww… Is the one-winged angel having a temper tantrum?â€
    “… Sora, I’m killing you ten more times for that.â€
    “WHAT? I WASN’T EVEN THE ONE WHO SAID IT!!!!â€
    “… Yeah, but you’re easier to kill than Cloud.â€
    “It was Larxene who said that.†Cloud pointed out, jerking one thumb in the back of the van, where the Savage Nymph sat.
    “I just don’t care anymore, budge up, I’m driving.†And with that, Sephiroth grabbed Sora, shoved him on the roof, and climbed into the drivers seat.
    “Great,†Aerith muttered, as Sephiroth started up the engine. “Now we’re going to die.â€

    VROOM!!!

    “WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “LOOK OUT FOR THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!â€
    “WOOOOOO-HOOOO! I LOVE DRIVING!!!!!â€
    “OW!!â€
    “I THINK SORA’S UNCONCIOUS!!!!â€
    “I THINK I DON’T CARE!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Axel was having a blast.

    “RUBY RUBY RUBY!!!!â€
    “GET BACK HERE NUMBER XIII!!!!â€
    “DO YA DO YA DO YA DO YA!!!!?â€
    “I’M NOT GOING TO BE KILLED BY YOU!!!!â€
    “WATCHA DOIN’ DOIN’ TO ME!!!!!?â€
    “YES YOU WILL!!!!! I ORDER YOU TO!!!!â€
    “RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY!!!!!!!!!â€

    “AXEL!!!!†Roxas yelled. “HELP!!!!â€
    “DUE TO- Wha?†Axel pulled out one earphone, and glanced around the destroyed room. “What happened to this place?â€
    “……â€
    “……â€
    “What?â€
    “I am going to kill you, then I am going to throw your body out of the window.†Roxas said, after a long silence.
    “I’d fade away, so I wouldn’t have a body-“
    “I DON’T CARE!!!!â€
    “Yeah, well I do!â€
    “Well, I don’t!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Kairi was very close to snapping.

    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “No.â€
    “Are we there yet?â€
    “NOOOOOOO!!!†Kairi stopped. “Oh. Wait. We are.â€
    “Thank God!†Naminé yelled. A pause.
    “The door is locked.†Yuffie said.
    “We are aware of that!â€
    “So how are we going to open it?â€
    “We are not aware of that.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In the death trap- I mean, van.

    “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?!?!â€
    “… I don’t know.†Sephiroth admitted. “Oh bugger. I think we’re lost.â€
    “WHAT?! YOU STUPID ONE WINGED BLOODY ANGEL!!!! YOU CAN’T EVEN FLY PROPERLY YOU GIT!!!!!â€
    “HOW DARE YOU!!!!â€
    “I HAVE A MIGRANE!â€
    “DITTO!â€
    “EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!â€
    “ARE WE THERE YET?â€
    “SORA, MY GOD, IF YOU DON’T DIE WITHIN TEN SECONDS, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!!†Cloud screamed, a vein beginning to bulge on his forehead.
    “THAT’S NOT FAIR!!â€
    “ONE…â€
    “CLOUD, DON’T KILL HIM!â€
    “TWO…â€
    “DOES ANYONE HAVE A MAP!?â€
    “THREE…â€
    “SORA DOES!â€
    “FOUR…â€
    “I lost it to Goofy in a game of strip poker.â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “… What?!â€
    “How the hell did you defeat us?†Marluxia said, after an uncomfortable silence.
    “YOU PLAYED STRIP POKER WITH A DOG/HORSE/DONKEY HYBRID THING?†Aerith yelled, the thought of that being enough to shock ideas of killing Sora out of Cloud – And anyone else’s – head.
    “In my defence… I was bored.â€
    “Yeah, that’s why I try to kill Cloud, because I’m bored.â€
    “True story.†Cloud muttered. “Do you even have a driving licence?â€
    “No. Like I said, you can’t get the insurance.â€
    “Ah.â€
    “I think we turn left here…†Sephiroth frowned. “Or right… Or straight ahead.â€
    “Gee, you think Einstein?â€
    “SILENCE MORTAL!!!!â€
    “Larxene, you live here! What do we do?â€
    “Hmmmmmm… Let me think about it… Oh yeah! I. Don’t. Care.†Larxene said slowly from the back of the van.
    “You’re not a very nice person, are you?â€
    “I’m not even a person, you stupid boats-for-feet boy!â€
    “Shut up, miss ‘I electrocute myself when wet’!â€
    “THAT’S IT!!! AS SOON AS WE SAVED THOSE IDIOTS, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Saïx, Luxord and Lexaeus crouched behind a chair, waiting for one of the fan-girls/fan-boy to walk in.

    “Sorry I’m jus-AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!!!†Leon had walked in, and was hoisted up into the air by his ankle. “Oh my God! What idiot sets up a bear trap in a hallway!?!?!â€
    “We’re those idiots.†Luxord stood up from behind the chair. “You are not a fan-girl. Or a fan-boy.â€
    “I hadn’t noticed.†Leon stated sarcastically. “You see, Rinoa was a bit confused as well, but she now understands that I am in fact, a male!â€
    “…â€
    “You are right Lexaeus.†Saïx nodded. “It is his hair.â€
    “… This is coming from you, who looks like a girl from behind.†Leon said bluntly.
    “I do not look like a girl from behind!†Saïx yelled.
    “Yes you do.â€
    “…†Lexaeus nodded his head.
    “I DO NOT!!!†Saïx yelled. “DON’T MAKE ME BERSERK ON YOUR BUTTS!â€
    “Could someone cut me down?†Leon asked, swinging side-to-side slightly. “The blood’s rushing to my head. And I’m about to be hit by that van.â€

    THUNK!!!

    “Ow…â€
    “Guys, we hit Leon!â€
    “Oh, is he alive?†Aerith asked, as Sora swung his head down.
    “Leeeeeeeeeeoooooooooon! Are you alive?â€
    “… I don’t know. I am however, in a lot of pain.†Leon muttered darkly.
    “He’s a zombie!†Sora screamed. “Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! KILL I- OW!!!â€
    “Shut up or else you will die.†Sephiroth threatened from the front seat.
    “What the hell is going on?†Saïx asked, looking at the mismatched crew.
    “Mansex got captured by the fangirls and fanboys, ditto Axel and Roxas. We’re in a race with Tifa, Kairi, Naminé and Yuffie to save them? Get it?†Marluxia asked from the back.
    “Kind of.â€
    “I don’t mean to cause a fuss,†Leon said. “But could you please reverse? The wheel is digging into my ribcage.â€
    “Whoops.†Sephiroth frowned, and pushed a lever.
    “OH GOD MY FACE!!â€
    “YOU IDIOT!!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE IT GO FORWARDS?!?!?!?â€
    “I DON’T HAVE A LICENSE!!!! I TOLD YOU ALREADY!!!!â€
    “I’m definitely getting brain damage right now.â€
    “REVERSE YOU DUMBO WITH THE WINGS!!! REVERSE!!!!â€
    “HOW?â€
    “Well, you… Reverse.â€
    “How?â€
    “You put it into reverse gear, and press the accelerator.†Aerith piped up. There was a stunned silence. “Yeah! I know some stuff!â€
    “Okay then…â€
    “Reverse the car already!†Leon yelled. “I’m fairly certain I’m heading into a coma.â€
    “What’s a coma?â€
    “Shut up Sora!†Sephiroth snapped, reversing the car. “Right. I’ve reversed. The van is no longer on your head, so quiet b****ing about it already!â€
    “Okay. I’ll ignore the fact that my skull is crushed, and I can’t remember my name anymore.†Leon said sarcastically, staggering upright.
    “OH THAT IS IT!!!†Sephiroth screamed, snapping yet again. “EVERYONE GET IN THE ****ING VAN BEFORE I SLAUGHTER YOU ALL!!!!!!!!â€
    “But-“
    “THE! VAN! IN! SLAUGHTER!†Sephiroth screamed, several veins popping out, no longer capable of proper speech.
    “Fine!†Luxord sighed, grabbed Lexaeus and dragged him into the van. Saïx just looked at Leon.
    “I’m not helping you.â€
    “Wouldn’t want you to.†Leon stood up. “Yay. I can walk.†He clambered into the van. “Can we go now?â€
    “DRIVE!!!†Sephiroth slammed on the accelerator…

    And the van shot backwards into a wall.
    “YOU IDIOT!!! YOU STILL HAVE IT IN REVERSE GEAR!!!!!â€
    “Opps?â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Back in the tower.

    “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!â€
    “NOT IF I KILL YOU FIRST!!!â€
    “DO NOT MAKE ME SING!!!! OR ELSE YOUR EARS WILL BLEED!!†Axel yelled, over the argument between Roxas and Xemnas.
    “ZEBRA COAT!!!â€
    “CLOWN FEET!!!â€
    “Hey guys!†Axel yelled. “The floor’s got cracks in it.†The duo stopped arguing, and glanced down.
    “Holy-“
    “s***.â€

    SMASH!!!!!!

    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    SMASH!!!!!!

    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    The group of females glanced at each other.

    “What was that?â€
    “It sounded a lot like a floor giving way, sending Axel, Roxas, and Xemnas plummeting down into the floors below.†Naminé said bluntly.
    “Oh. Is that all?†Yuffie asked, as the sound of an engine could be heard in the background.
    “Is that MY VAN?!!†Tifa yelled, as a conversation was heard in the background.

    “IS IT LEFT HERE?â€
    “OF COURSE NOT, THAT’S A WALL!!!!â€
    “TURN RIGHT!!â€
    “NOT THAT RIGHT, THE OTHER RIGHT!!!â€
    “WHAT OTHER RIGHT?! THERE’S ONLY ONE!!!!!!â€
    “NO, THERE’S THE RIGHT RIGHT, AND THE WRONG RIGHT!!!!!!â€
    “WHAT RIGHT?â€
    “WHICH RIGHT?â€
    “WHO RIGHT?â€
    “WHERE RIGHT?!â€
    “WHY RIGHT?!â€
    “WRITE?! THIS IS NO TIME TO WRITE!â€
    “WHAT THE HELL SORA!!?!â€
    “GO THE WRONG RIGHT!!!!â€
    “YOU MEAN LEFT?â€
    “THAT’S RIGHT!!â€


    “Oh God, here they come.†Tifa muttered, as the girls dodged out of the way of the van. “WHO SAID SEPHIROTH COULD DRIVE MY VAN!?!?! HE HAS NO INSURANCE, AND I’M NOT PAYING IF HE DRIVES INTO A WALL!!!!â€
    “He already has.â€
    “DRIVE!! INTO!!! DOOR!!!!â€
    “No! Don’t!†Naminé yelled, but it was too late.

    VROOOOOM!!!

    SMASH!!!!

    “Hey! There’s no floor here!â€
    “Oh.â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    Thunk!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Alexia, Demyx, Riku, and the fan-girls/fan-boys watched as Xemnas, Roxas and Axel came through the ceiling.

    Soon followed by a van with Sephiroth, Cloud, Sora, Aerith, Marluxia, Larxene, Leon, Saïx, Luxord and Lexaeus inside.

    “Well, that was different.†Alexia said, breaking the long silence.
    “You can say that again.â€
    “Well, that was different.â€
    “My bumholey!†Roxas grumbled, shoving his head up through the wreckage that had half buried him.
    “THERE’S AN AIRBAG IN MY FACE!†Sephiroth screamed through the airbag. Cloud pulled out his sword.
    “Are you guys okay?†Tifa yelled, shoving her head through the hole.
    “Yeah!â€
    “Dammit!†Tifa swore. “If most people were dropped several stories in a van, they wouldn’t be okay!â€
    “We use potions.â€
    “And elixirs.â€
    “Yup.â€
    “Right! Yuffie, get down their and steal all their potions and elixirs!â€
    “WHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Yuffie leapt down the hole, and landed on Demyx.
    “OW!!!!!â€
    “MOMMY!!!!†The group stared at Demyx. “I mean… Ow?â€
    “Nope, we heard you mama’s boy.â€
    “Damn.†Demyx muttered from underneath the ninja.
    “KILL SEPHIROTH!!!!!!†Cloud yelled, starting to beat Sephiroth over the head with his sword.
    “OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!†Sephiroth grabbed his sword after several attempts (being behind an air-bag made visibility a problem). “TAKE THAT!!!â€
    “OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!â€
    “Oh dear Lord.â€
    “Roxas?†Alexia yelled. “Who’s the silver haired freak that fell through the ceiling that wasn’t in the van?â€
    “You mean Xemnas?â€
    “I presume so.†Alexia shrugged. “How many silver haired freaks that fell through the ceiling that wasn’t in the van are there?â€
    “Probably a lot!â€
    “And who is it that just called me the silver haired freak?†Xemnas asked, glaring at Alexia.
    “She’s the fourteenth member.â€
    “What fourteenth member?â€
    “Oh.†Roxas scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I guess I missed that part out, huh?â€
    “What are we going to do about the fan-girls?†Saïx asked.
    “Leave us here?â€
    “Hell no!â€
    “I’ve got an idea!†Demyx said. “But I need Alexia and Roxas.
    “Why?â€
    “I need a keyblade and a hag.â€
    “Is that my new name?â€
    “Yes.†Xemnas no€œYour title is: The Dancing Hag.â€
    “Jeez. Thanks for that.†Alexia sighed. “Why should I help you guys?â€
    “You get to do evil stuff.â€
    “Hmm… Me good with that idea!â€
    “Okay! Can someone get this girl off me?â€
    “THIS GIRL?!?!?!?!†Yuffie stood upright, and put her hands on her hips. “I am NOT some girl! I am the champion of the earth and the sky. I am the conqueror of evil. The single white rose of Wutai...Yuffie Kisaragi!" A fanfare blasted behind her. Why?

    Because Yuffie ROCKS! That’s why.

    “Where’s Wutai?â€
    “Shut UP Sora.â€
    “Where’s Wutai?â€
    “It’s in a different game, get over it already!â€
    “Where have Roxas, Demyx and Alexia gone?â€
    “To do that plan to get rid of the fan-girls.â€
    “Oh right.â€
    “Quick!†Said Fearless. “Glomp Riku as hard as you can!â€
    “Okay!†Chimed Amethyst Grave and Psycopath.
    “Leave the boy alone and get out of my Castle That Never Was!†Xemnas said, in a commanding-ish voice.
    “LEON!†Divine_Lunatic ran into the room and glomped Leon. “And Saïx! I’m so sorry you got kicked… there.†She turned and glomped Saïx.
    “I got kicked where?â€
    “Short story.â€
    “I said to leave the boy alone-“
    “Yeah right Mansex!â€
    “What did you call me?â€
    “M-A-N-S-E-X!â€
    “Should have been more careful as what you chose as an alias.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Here’s the plan!†Demyx explained, crouching by the door. “It owns ALL of Axel’s plans! Now, Roxas, you open Vexen’s lab.â€
    “Why?â€
    “Because of the S.W.A.T. team of course!â€

    “Oh.â€
    “Alexia, you get them to attack the fan-girls, and then we’re away!â€
    “That might actually work.â€
    “Of course it will work!†Roxas explained. “This plan has nothing to do with Axel! It can’t fail!â€
    “That is very true.â€
    “Right, open the door!â€
    “Okay!†Roxas opened the door with his keyblade.
    “Wait! I haven’t-“
    “S.W.A.T. TEAM ATTACK!!!!â€
    “-Worked out how to get them to attack the fan-girls.â€
    “Oh.â€
    “Should we run now?â€
    “Yeeeeea.â€
    “Maybe just every plan in the Organization fails!â€
    “Yeah, it makes you wonder why we weren’t killed before!â€
    “YOU GUYS SUCK!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    It's... So... Long... *Faints*

    Enjoy it me hearties!

    Insanly yours,
    stripy4

    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Oct 25, 2008 in forum: Archives
  6. stripy4
    Chapter XVII: Mime, Lassos, and Random Plot devices!

    Yeppers, your the first one to read it!
    Yeppers? Eh.


    Merci. Mucho thank ye.

    Zank you!

    Yes, they have DA POWER!!!!!
    Ahem.


    Yes, fan-boys, as I said in the chapter, are scary. You never know they are a fan-boy until - BAM! But they're also vair funny, XD

    Nope. If I was head fan-girl, I would not have a megaphone, I would have a Karioke machine to give my orders! How much fun would that be?!

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Knew I forgotted somthing. Whoops. Next chappy, then we will find out! And you've changed your name! I didn't know that... *Bangs head on desk*

    You want more? [OLIVERTWIST]MORE? YOU WANT MORE?![/OLIVERTWIST] Okay, you got it!

    Back at school, ugh! But, I managed to get up another chapter! Enjoys!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Xemnas was pleased that he had finally gotten the attention of a Organization member.

    Even if it was Marluxia. Well, you can’t have it all.

    “WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE?!?!?!!?!?!?!†Marluxia screamed. Xemnas sighed, and wondered why he had let him into the organization.
    “Mmmpl mummmmmher.â€
    “WHAT??†Marluxia screamed again. “WHAT LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING?!?!?! ENGRISH?!?!?!?!â€
    “MMMMPHL MMMMMMMMUMMREAMMMMMM!!!!!â€
    “Oh!†Marluxia realised. “You’ve been gagged!†Xemnas nodded, and then did an elaborate mime.
    First, he lay on the floor, then ran around the small tower room he was locked up in, then went ran a little circle, before sitting on a chair. He then wriggled on the chair, stood up, picked up a stone with his free hand, and threw it at Marluxia.
    “OW! And, oh, that’s what happened.â€

    For those of you who are not fluent in mime, this is what happened: When Xemnas was on holiday, the fan-girls (and fan-boys) tracked him down. They chased him, caught him, and tied him up. When they invaded the castle, they took him with them and locked him up in the first tower they found, then tied him to a chair. He wriggled out of the rope, undid one of his hands, picked up stones, and threw them at Marluxia.

    Wasn’t it obvious?

    “Okay then!†Marluxia was panicking slightly. He was in charge of Xigbar, Xaldin had left the castle… Wait. That meant Vexen was in charge. Crap!

    He couldn’t go to Vexen, one because he was quite possibly the most mentally unstable member of the Organization apart from Xemnas, and two, he didn’t believe a word Marluxia said since the incident with the fruit bat, the vampire bat, and the switched labels… Lexaeus… Well, lets be blunt, he’d be useless, Zexion was being hunted by the fan-girls and fan-boys like coyotes after a rabbit. So then-

    “DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!!!!!†Demyx yelled from the doorway, as Marluxia got a few gallons of water over his head.

    Oh no.

    FZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The fan-girls and fan-boys slipped into another room, listening carefully for signs of the Organization. They heard some.

    “No, Axel shut up!â€
    “BUT I WANT TO SING, ROXIE!!!!â€
    “NEVER EVER EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN IF YOU WANT ALL OF YOUR ORGANS TO REMAIN IN PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “NO!! NO!! I LIKE MY LIVER WHERE IT IS!!!!!!â€
    “WELL THEN SHUT UP!!!!!!!â€
    “NEVER!!! I HAVE THE RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH, AND I WILL USE IT!!!!!â€
    “YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO SHUT UP BEFORE I SLAP YOU!â€
    “BANANAS!!!â€
    “THREE…â€
    “BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!â€
    “TWO..â€
    “ BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM! AGH! A SNAKE! OH, IT’S A SNAKE! IT’S A BADGERSâ€
    “ONE…â€
    “BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!â€

    SLAP!!!!

    “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… That hurted me!â€
    “That hurt you?! I just managed to elbow myself in the face while slapping you!†The head fan-girl pointed to the piano, where the noises were coming from. They tip-toed over, and pulled back the lid of the piano.

    “OW, MY EYES!â€
    “OW, MY EYES!†The two nobodies looked up, and saw the fan-girls and fan-boys grinning at them. There was a beat.
    “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AXEL!!! YOU AND YOUR STUPID BEER STASH FIVE!!!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Saïx, Luxord and Lexaeus had a plan. Not a good one. But nether the less, it was a plan. And the Organization could use a lot more of those.

    “Have you got the net?†Luxord asked. Saïx replied by throwing the net at him. “That’s a yes?â€
    “…?†Lexaeus frowned, back into silent mode.
    “Look, we’ve said this at LEAST forty-nine times, and we’re going to say it again.†Saïx sighed, and the end of his tether.
    “We are not making a lasso!†Luxord continued. “We are going to make a loop using the rope-“
    “…â€
    “No, NOT A LASSO! Then we lay it on the floor, and when someone walks through this door, we pull this bit of rope here, it will tighten around their leg, and hoist them into the air.â€
    “…!?â€
    “Yes, like that Tom and Jerry cartoon.†Saïx replied. “Do you understand now?â€
    “…!â€
    “Good.†Luxord grabbed the rope. “Now don’t pull until I say so.â€
    “…?â€
    “No, DON’T! PULL!â€
    “…?â€
    “Yes, I know I am holding the rope, but I am not pulling it.â€
    “…?â€
    “Of course I’m sure!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sora, Kairi and Naminé were hiding in the Almighty Janitor’s Closet that Never Was.
    “What do we do if the fan-girls-“
    “And Fan-boys.â€
    “And fan-boys find us?†Sora asked, sitting on an upturned bucket.
    “Well…†Kairi paused. “We could… Panic? Kill them?â€
    “Killing them works with me.†Naminé nodded. Kairi looked at her.
    “I still don’t understand how the hell we are somebody and nobody Naminé.â€
    “Are you saying I’m not as good as you?†Naminé scowled.
    “Of course I’m better than you!†Kairi replied. “I made you!â€
    “So? I doesn’t mean that you’re better automatically!â€
    “Yeah it does!â€
    “Doesn’t!â€
    “Does!â€
    “Doesn’t!â€
    “Does!â€
    “Doesn’t!†Naminé flicked Kairi’s hair.
    “Did you just FLICK me?â€
    “Yup!†Naminé crossed her arms and smiled. “Got a problem with that?â€
    “Yes!†Kairi shoved Naminé.
    “Alright, now I’m gonna kick some &$$!!†Naminé yelled, and kicked Kairi, who punched her. It soon descended into a fight scene that Nomura would be proud of. Sora watched, and after a moment, walked out of the closet.
    “FAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN-GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLSSSS!!!!!!!!!†A group of people ran into the hall.
    “And fan-boys!â€
    “Whatever.†Sora shrugged. “You have my permission to kidnap me.â€
    “Can we drag you away kicking and screaming?â€
    “If you must.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Alexia put down the phone.
    “Done. Finished. I called every Final Fantasy character in the phone book.â€
    “Phose hat ben?†Riku was still being glomped. (Translation: Whose that then?)
    “Cloud, Whatshisname, Yuffie, Tifa, Sephiroth-“
    “U invoited Sepfirtoh?†(You invited Sephiroth?)
    “Duh! He and Xemmy are bosom buddies.†The girl paused before giggling. “Xemmy. I’m going to call him that from now on. Also, Aerith. And that’s it.â€
    “Whuddabout Wukka, Bidus, Melphee, Kikku, Guna und Baine?†(What about Wakka, Tidus, Selphie, Rikku, Yuna and Paine?)
    “Don’t have their phone numbers.â€
    “Bime oudda beer.†(I’m out of here.) Riku made to get up, but was glomped again.
    “No Riku!†Thallassa_shells yelled. “Stay.â€
    “Yep.†Amethyst Grave nodded. “You don’t move.â€
    “Core?†(Or?)
    “We hurt you.†Psycopath said calmly. “We don’t want to, but we will.â€
    “… Bi kess I’ii cay.†(I guess I’ll stay.)
    “HI RIKU!!!†Sora yelled, as he was dragged into the kitchen by a hoard of fan-girl and fan-boys. “HI RANDOM ORGANIZATION MEMBER!â€
    “Hello.â€
    “Bhat bare u dobing beer?†(What are you doing here?)
    “Kairi and Naminé were having a fight, so I got the fan-girls and fan-boys to kidnap me.â€
    “Koh.†(Oh.)
    “Was that sensible?†Alexia asked, glancing up from the phone book.
    “Of course!†Sora explained. “I didn’t want to watch Naminé beat up Kairi!â€
    “Band u kay whe’s knot uyr hurlfdiernd.†(And you say she’s not your girlfriend)
    “SHE’S NOT!!!†Sora yelled. “I… I… She’s my girlfriend!†Sora yelled, pointing at theonly9one. She blinked.
    “Sorry. I’m more of a Saïx fan-girl than a Sora one…â€
    “Aw, crap!â€
    “Pot crown!†(Shot down!) Riku snickered. “Bat leset I kave ban-firls.†(At least I have fan-girls.)
    “Yeah.†Sora nodded. “You probably have fan-boys as well.â€

    I INTERRUPT THIS STORY TO BRING AN IMPORTANT ANNOUCMENT!! IT’S 100 PAGES ON WORD!!!!!!!! =D MILESTONE!!!!!!![/B]

    “Oooooooooooohhhh!†The room said at one. From above, there was the sound of a gong. A man with a deep voice yelled out:
    “DISS WAR!!â€
    “Is that God?†Sora asked, totally ruining the effect.
    “Yes, I’m God, Sora. God always announces Diss wars.†The man said sarcastically. “My name is Random Plot device! I represent the author.â€
    “Phell ker tooo up sersefl.†(Tell her to f*** herself.)
    “I shall pass the message on.†The Plot Device said. “I am the thing that translates Riku muffled mumblings, and earlier this chapter, I interpreted Xemnas’ mime.â€
    “What!?†Everyone yelled. Apart from Riku, who said “Whump?!â€
    “… Oh crap.†The Plot Device said. “I’m fired now, aren’t I?â€

    Too right mate. Get your things, and GET OUT OF MY LIVING ROOM!!!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Roxas and Axel were in the eeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiillllll grasp of the fan-girls and fan-boys. They were tied up and shoved into what the fans called ‘The holding pen’.

    How sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!! (No, the e button on my computer is not stuck. I just felt like typing sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!)

    “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT AXEL!!!!!!â€
    “’TISN’T!â€
    “’TIS!â€
    “TISN’T!â€
    “’TIS!â€
    “OH SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!!!!!!â€
    The duo turned to see…

    Dun! Dun! Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

    Xemnas!

    Well, you already knew that.

    “Xemnas? What are you doing here?†Roxas asked, his face all screwed up in that confused way he does.
    “I was kidnapped by the fan-girls and fan-boys.†Xemnas explained, pausing to glare at Axel, who was delighted to see the fan-girls had not stolen his i-pod.
    “Wow. Why?†Roxas said after a beat.
    “EXPRESS YOURSELF!!! EXPRESS YOURSELF!! EXPRESS YOURSELF!!! AAAAAH! EXPRESS YOURSELF! AH!†Axel sang, doing a little dance, while listening to his i-pod, causing Xemnas to twitch.

    INTERRUPTION!!!! END OF PAGE 100!!!!!!

    “Axel. Axel! AXEL!†Axel continued dancing, oblivious to his best friend. “AXEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Hmm?†Axel pulled out an ear-phone. “What?â€
    “Can you change the song?†Roxas asked, pointing at Xemnas, who was twitching a lot.
    “Oh, right!†Axel flicked through the i-pod contentedly.
    “Anyway, why?†Roxas repeated, now that Xemnas had stopped twitching.
    “Because, they decided to hold me hostage in exchange for you guys to do whatever they want.†Xemnas explained, with a shrug.
    “Oh.†Roxas grinned. “Well, that wouldn’t have worked!â€
    “WHAT did you say?â€
    “Um… Something something yay!†Roxas yelped. There was a silence between the two nobodies.
    “NOW I FEEL LIKE BREAKING LAWS!!!! GO ON START A CIVIL WAR!!!!†Axel sang/screamed. Roxas paused, before hitting Axel over the head with oathkeeper.
    “STOP BREAKING ALL THE DRAMATIC PARTS!!!!!!†Axel glared at Roxas, before calmly removing his earphones.
    “It’s called a treacle cutter. It’s when a sweet or dramatic moment must be broken by some random moment or joke.†Axel nodded. “Fact.†He then placed his earphones back in. “HERE’S MY FIST, WHERE’S THE FIGHT!!!?!?! YOUR WORLDS COLLAPSING TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!†The other two nobodies stared at him for a moment, before turning back to their discussion.
    “What’s happened since I left?†Xemnas asked. Roxas paused.
    “Well…†He took a deep breath. “LARXENEDIDN’TWANTAXELTOGOONANDONATHER-“

    We don’t need or want to hear this, do we?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Naminé and Kairi were still hitting each other.
    “WAIT!†Kairi yelled. “Where’s Sora?†The two girls were quiet.
    “Crap!†Naminé said. “What now!?â€
    “This is all your fault!â€
    “How is it my fault!â€
    “Because it is!â€
    “THAT’S NOT A GOOD REASON!!!!!!†Naminé screamed, grabbing a mop and waving it in her face.
    “ADICAL! ADICAL! ADICAL! ADICAL! ADICAL! ADICAL! ADICAL!†Kairi screamed, banging a bucket against the wall.
    “SHUT UP!!!â€
    “LET’S LOOK FOR HIM!†There was a pause.
    “Really?â€
    “Sure!†Kairi grabbed her nobodies wrist. “Come on! Let’s have our own adventures, we’re the best ones!†Naminé frowned and thought.
    “Okay, but try to get Yuffie too.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “ANDTHENTHEFAN-GIRLSANDFAN-BOYSAPPEAREDANDAXELANDIHIDINAPIANOANDHEGOTDRUNKANDWEARGUEDTHENWEGOTKIDNAPPEDANDTHROWNUPHEREANDTHAT’SWHENWESAWYOU!!!!!!!!â€
    “Um… Okay then.†Xemnas remained silent. “So… the whole place is in chaos?â€
    “Pretty much.†Roxas nodded, as Axel kept singing. Loudly.
    “I WANNA MAKE SOME NOISE!!! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!!!! I WANNA DROP SOME BOMBS!!!!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!!!!!!
    “Tell VIII if he wants to make it out of here alive he must shut up now.â€
    “Axel? Xemnas says to shut up now or die.â€
    “But I can’t die Roxie!â€
    “I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!!!!!!†Roxas grabbed Oblivion, and charged at Axel.
    “ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “OH GOD!!!!!! MY SPLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Marluxia screamed as Larxene and Demyx prepared for another wave of soaking and electrocuting.
    “Why?†Demyx asked, with a slight pout.
    “Because!â€
    “Why?â€
    “I said so!â€
    “Why?â€
    “Because it hurts!â€
    “Why?â€
    “BECAUSE XEMNAS IS STUCK UP IN THAT TOWER LIKE A ****ING DAMSEL IN DISTRESS!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “What?†Larxene looked up and saw Xemnas seemingly arguing with two other nobodies. “HOLY FLAMING ONIONS FLOWA POWA!!!! YOU’RE RIGHT!!!!!!!â€
    “Flaming onions…?†Demyx frowned. Then he brightened up. “I’m hungry!â€
    “HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE HUNGRY WHEN YOU’RE IN THIS SITUATION!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!??!†Marluxia yelled.
    “Like this- I’m hungry!†Demyx grinned. “I’m going to the kitchen!â€
    “You do that.†Larxene and Marluxia watched him walk off, before turning back to the problem that was Xemnas being a damsel in distress.
    “Is that Axel and Roxas up there?†Marluxia asked, pulling out a pair of binoculars.
    “Well, if it is: COOL!!! ROXAS JUST GUTTED AXEL LIKE A FISH!!!!!! GO ROXAS!!!! GO ROXAS!!!!!!!!!!†Very faintly, you could hear Roxas and Axel yell back a reply.
    “Go to hell Larxene!â€

    “IS XEMNAS UP IN THE TOWER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!†Sora asked, Ultima Weapon out, sprinting over to the two nobodies.
    “Yeeeeeeees… But why are you here?â€
    “Because I’m a hero!†The nobodies gave Sora a long, blank look. “As a hero, I must save everyone single handed, even if they’re my arch-nemesis, get the girl, and have a happy ending. BECAUSE THAT IS THE HERO CODE!!!!!!â€
    “What about Cloud Strife?â€
    “He refused to sign.â€
    “Ah.†Larxene nodded wisely. “By the way, where is ‘The Girl’?â€
    “Having a bish fight with Naminé.†There was a long silence.
    “Okay then.†Before Marluxia could say anything else, he was run over by a delivery van. “THE BLOODY HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?†A familiar head that made the Organization shiver poked her head out.
    “Hi!†Tifa grinned. “Now which one of you gits brought us here? We’ve been attacked by savage fan-girls and fan-boys many many times.â€
    “’We’?â€
    “Cloud and Leon are hiding in the back, along with Aerith, who has been glomped by fan-boys who scream: “YOU ARE ALIVE!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!â€â€
    “And I’m just back here ‘cause it’s fun!†Yuffie yelled from the back of the car. Sora looked upwards and frowned.
    “And Sephiroth is on the roof because…?â€
    “SEPHIROTH’S ON THE ROOF?!?!?!?!!?!?†Cloud yelled from the back of the van, as Sephiroth face-planted. Tifa merely shrugged.
    “I was picking him up. He was hitch-hiking.†Everyone looked at Sephiroth.
    “Don’t look at me like that! You don’t realise how hard it is to get insurance for cars! ‘What is your job sir?’ ‘Well, I destroy the worlds, get beat up by emos and a kid with a giant key and clown feet!’â€
    “Hey!†Sora frowned.
    “YOUR FEET ARE FREAKISH!!!!! GET OVER IT!!!!!!†Sephiroth yelled.
    “YOU HAVE A WING ON YOUR BACK!!!!!!!â€
    “DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSS WAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    OI! Mate, your still fired for giving away plotline! Now go!

    “WHAT ABOUT MY CHILDREN?!?!?!?!!?â€

    … You don’t have any.

    “YOU HAVE WINGS ON YOUR HIPS TOO!!!!!!â€
    “YOUR HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY!!!!!!!â€
    “SO DOES YOURS!!!!!!â€
    “YOU KILL PEOPLE WITH A GIANT KEY!!!!!!!!!â€
    “THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO BE IN KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!!! YOU SERVE NO PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “HOW DARE YOU!!!!?!??!?!?!?!?â€
    Sephiroth screamed, angry at this latest insult.
    “TIFA, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SEPHIROTH WAS ON THE ROOF?!?!?!?†Cloud yelled from the back of the van.
    “Because I was afraid you would freak out… Like you are doing now.†Tifa sighed. Suddenly Kairi raced over.
    “Where’s Yuffie?†Tifa jerked a thumb into the back of the van. “Thanks. YUUUUUUUUUUFFFFFIIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!?â€
    “Yes?â€
    ââ€
    “What for?â€
    “To find Sora!â€
    “Okay!â€
    “Um, Kairi…†Sora tapped his girl-friend on the shoulder. “I’m right here.†There was a long silence.
    “No, you are not.†Kairi shook her head. “You are far far away.â€
    “No I’m not.â€
    “Great!†Naminé yelled, heading into the Hall of Empty Melodies. “Now we’ve got nothing to do!â€
    “You do realise that YOUR boyfriend was taken hostage by the fan-girls and fan-boys?†Larxene said, causing Naminé to go pale, then go pink.
    “I know now.†She said eventually. “Okay, NOW we’ve got an adventure!â€
    “Awesome!†Kairi hi-fived her nobody. “Yuffie get out of the van! We’re leaving!â€
    “Aww… I just got comfy!â€
    “Leaving!â€
    “Okay, okay, I’M COMING!!!!!!!â€
    “OW! Yuffie, that was my foot!â€
    “Sorry Aeris- Aerith!†Yuffie corrected herself as she clambered out of the van, and joined the two girls. “Let’s rock’n’roll!â€
    “You do realise that we’re going to rescue Roxas as well?†Sora asked. The three girls looked at each other.
    “Yea? Well… We’re going to rescue him before you!†Kairi said confidently.
    “No you won’t!â€
    “Will!â€
    “Won’t! Because…†Sora gestured. “We have Sephiroth!â€
    “So? We have… Tifa!†Namine said, before shoving her head into the van. “Tifa! We have you, right?â€
    “… Don’t care.â€
    “You get to beat up people!â€
    “I’m in!†Tifa climbed out of the van. “Let’s go!†And with that, the four women ran off towards the tower.
    “And so it unfolds…†Sora said, in a deep mysterious voice. Cloud snorted.
    “You are such a Hero Club member.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Yep, it's a race to save Axel, Roxas and Xemmy! PLACE YOUR BETS!!! Who do you think will win? Kairi's team? Sora's team? Or someone else entirily?

    Peace out mon amies.

    Insanly yours,
    stripy4
    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Sep 7, 2008 in forum: Archives
  7. stripy4
    Chapter XVI: Fangirls and Fanboys, Secret Beer stash Five, and the unexpected...

    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

    I'm sorry I've been away so long! But I'm back baby! And I'm already talking werid! Not a very long chapter... But the ending is... Unexpected...


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    There was a stunned silence amongst both the fan-girls (and boys) and the Kingdom Hearts character. It was broken by a yell of:

    “RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!†As Thallassa_shells glomped Riku with all her might. This was quickly followed
    by similar cries and glomps from RikuRules13 and Psycopath.
    “YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!†Riku yelled as he fell over under the force of the three glomps. That is a very powerful force. If governments had the technology, the power of those glomps could provide power for the whole world.

    Anywhoo.

    Riku was lying on the floor, having the air slowly crushed out of his lungs. The girls laughed.
    “Now, THAT is entertainment.†Larxene cackled, as Naminé and Kairi grinned, and Alexia just looked confused.

    “What the-?â€
    “They’re called fan-girls.†Xaldin hissed.
    “AND FAN-BOYS!!!†Yelled a member of the mob.
    “And fan-boys.They think that certain members of the Kingdom Hearts universe are… Hot.â€
    “And that’s a problem because…?â€
    “WE’RE NOBODIES DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Vexen, causing everyone to jump. “WE DON’T HAVE HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE CANNOT LOVE!!!!!â€
    “… Y’know, you’re probably just jealous that you don’t have any fangirls.†Axel offered. “At all.â€
    “I DO SO HAVE FAN-GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.†Axel nodded. “Suuuuuuuuuuuuure you do.â€
    “THAT’S RIGHT!!!!!!!!â€
    “Name one.â€
    “Uh… Susan.â€
    “YOU DON’T HAVE FAN-GIRLS!!!â€
    “DO TOO!!â€
    “DO NOT!!â€
    “DO TOO!!â€
    “PEACE IS FLOWING LIKE A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!â€

    “Shut up hag.â€
    “I’M THE HAG!!!!?â€
    “ALRIGHT!!!â€
    The leader of the fan-girls faced the other ones. “Has everyone taken pictures?â€
    “Yes.†Chimed the fan-girls. (and boys)
    “Right. Now… GO GO GO!!!!†At that yell, the fan-girls charged. The Organizations’ (And Sora’s) eyes widened.
    “Uh…†Luxord stared. “Plan?â€
    “Run.â€
    “Yep, good plan.â€
    “I think we should run while drunk!â€
    “Axel?â€
    “Yes?â€
    “SHUT UP AND RUN ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†The Organization, Sora, Naminé and Kairi ran out of the kitchen, followed by the fangirls (and boys). Riku was still stuck on the floor being glomped, and Alexia watched with curiosity.
    “Riku?â€
    “Yemp?†(Translation: Yes?)
    “Is it just The Organization, Sora, Kairi, Naminé and you who have fangirls/fanboys?â€
    “Nemp.†(No.)
    “Who else?â€
    “Binal katstacy primel.†(Final Fantasy People.)
    “Oh!†A evil glint appeared in Alexia’s eyes. “So if I were to invite them around…â€
    “Dour buyeral.†(Your funeral)
    “Oh, hush up fan-girl cushion.†Alexia pushed herself off the kitchen table. “Now, where’s the phone book…? Oh, by the way Riku?â€
    “Yemp?â€
    “If anyone asks, Marluxia did it.â€
    “Bine.†(Fine)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “This hurts sooooooo much!â€
    “Look, did you want to be caught by fan-girls?†Axel stared at Roxas. “Well? Do you? Do you? Why would you want that Roxas? Why? Why?â€
    “Shut up!†Roxas hissed. “We could have hid anywhere, but noooooooo, we have to hide in a piano!â€
    “Shush!†Axel hissed. “If the fan-girls find us-“
    “They’ll take pictures!†Roxas scowled. “Ever heard of Yaoi?â€
    “Yes, and they’ll kidnap us!†Axel stated, as Roxas wriggled about.
    “Axel? What am I lying on?â€
    “I’m lying on you.â€
    “Yes, but what am I lying on?â€
    “Oh!†Axel grinned. “You found Secret Beer Stash Five!†Axel pulled out a can and opened it. Roxas face-palmed, managing to hit Axel as he did. “OW!â€
    “Things cannot get worse.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Demyx and Zexion were hiding in the library, sitting on the top of the bookshelves. Demyx was shaking.
    “What’s wrong Demyx?†Zexion sighed, beginning to get annoyed.
    “I don’t like heights.†Zexion held his head in his hands.
    “Your not going to fall off, dumbo.â€
    “I KNOW THAT!!!â€
    “SHUSH!!â€
    “Sorry. I know that.†Demyx whispered. “Doesn’t mean I’m not scared.â€
    “Are you scared of the height, or the fan-girls/fan-boys?â€
    “Who isn’t scared of the fan-girls/fan-boys?â€
    “… Good point.†Zexion frowned. “Which is scarier: Fan-girls or Fan-boys?â€
    “Definitely fan-boys, you don’t see them coming.â€
    “Fair enough.†There was silence between the two nobodies.

    STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP STAMP!!!!!!

    The two crouching nobodies looked at each other and mouthed the dreaded words: ‘Fan-girls!’ There was a pause before Demyx added: ‘And Fan-boys!’

    “WELL?!?! CAN YOU SEE ANYONE?!?!?!?!!?â€
    “How come you have the mega-phone?â€
    “MY AWSOMNESS LETS ME HAVE IT!?!?!?!?â€
    “What’s with the question marks?†Roxas-Chick asked, earning a glare from the leader.
    “SILENCE MORTAL!!!!!!!â€
    “You’re lead fan-girl. Not GOD!†Was emo_bunny’s blunt reply.
    “WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?!?!?!?!?â€
    “1. You didn’t create the universe. 2. CAN YOU PUT THE GODDAMM MEGAPHONE AWAY?!?!?!?!â€
    “NEVER!!!!†Demyx watched the whole exchange (Zexion’s head was still in his hands) before grinning manically.
    “WOW!!! THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    Silence.

    Up went the head of the mob of fan-girls and fan-boys.
    Down went Demyx’s grin.
    Up went Zexion head, as he narrowed his eyes at the watery nobody.

    “You. Idiot.â€
    “FAN-GIRLS!!!!!â€
    “And boys.â€
    “AND FAN-BOYS!!!!!!!!! ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†As the mob started shimming up the bookcase, Zexion turned and looked the sheepish nobody in the eye.
    “I will fade away happily, as long as I know I got revenge on you for this.â€
    “That’s fair.†Demyx looked at the steadily rising mob. “We’re going to die now, aren’t we?â€
    “Even if WE don’t die, I’ll kill YOU! Most likely in your sleep.â€
    “So…?â€
    “Every time you go to sleep, it may be your last time.â€
    “… Why don’t you do it professionally?â€
    “Do what professionally?â€
    “Threatening people. With a bit of practise, you’d be really good at it.â€
    “… Yeah. But flattery will get you nowhere.â€
    “Crapola.†Demyx glanced down. “Why don’t we dark portal?â€
    “… I was about to suggest that.â€
    “Really?â€
    “LOOK!! DO YOU WANT TO DARK PORTAL OUT OF HERE OR GET ATTACKED BY VICIOUS FAN-GIRLS?!?!?!!?!?!?!?â€
    “And boys.â€
    “I REALLY DON’T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU WANT TO DARK PORTAL OUT OR NOT!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??!â€
    “You’re spitting.â€
    “I’M MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “OK, I want to dark portal out of here.†Demyx sighed, mopping his face with a towel. “You spit so much!â€
    “Meh.†Zexion shrugged, summonded a dark portal, and shoved Demyx into it, and ran in, closing it behind him. There was a silence among the fans.
    “Why didn’t they do that in the first place?†~Amber~ eventually asked.
    “I think they may be a little bit stupid.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Well, how are Roxas and Axel in the piano?

    “THE DEVIL CAME DOWN TO GEORGIA, HE WAS LOOKIN’ FOR A SOUL TO STEAL!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “AXEL SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, Xaldin, Xigbar, Larxene, and Marluxia were in The Hall of Empty Melodies. Xaldin was attempting to gag Xigbar (he wasn’t doing very well), and Larxene was getting revenge on Marluxia.

    “YOU GIT!!!! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!! YOU PIGS SHOELACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HIPPY!!!! YOU!!! YOU!!!! YOU!!!! YOU GIRAFFE!!!!!! YOU PLANT-LOVING, DYED HAIRED, SNOOPY LOVING, HARRY POTTER READING, WIKIPEDIA ADDICT, ELTON JOHN ADMIRER, COMPLETE ARSE!!!!!!!!!!†Larxene screeched, electrocuting Marluxia on every other word.
    “ACK!!! XIGBAR BIT ME!!!!!!†Xaldin screamed.
    “WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?!†Larxene screeched again, still electrocuting Marluxia, who was now in a ball on the floor, whimpering. “STAY THERE!!!! I’M GOING TO GET DEMYX SO HE CAN SOAK YOU, AND THEN THE CURRENT WILL BE SO MUCH MORE PAINFUL!!!!!!†Larxene bellowed, before marching away. Marluxia whimpered again.
    “Xally, help me!â€
    “No way.†Xaldin scowled, while wondering whether he should get rabies shots after being bitten. “If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this sucky position, you deserve everything she gives you.†Xaldin examined his hand. “Screw this. I’m going to get rabies shots. Later. You’re in charge of Xigbar.â€
    “WHA?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?†Marluxia yelled, as Xaldin portalled away.
    “I’M GOING TO KICK YOU IN THE FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Xigbar sang merrily, as Marluxia’s hand acquainted itself with his face.
    “I am going to kill Xaldin for this.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Vexen was back in the lab, creating what he hoped would be a fan-girl and fan-boy deterrent.

    Swish!

    Demyx and Zexion fell head over heels, and landed on their heads.
    “Ow!†“Ow!â€
    “That hurt!†Demyx rubbed his head. “I’m in pain!â€
    “I don’t care!†Zexion stood up. Vexen paid no attention to the newcomers.
    “Why are we here anyway!? Vexen’s creepy!†Demyx whined, as Vexen continued to ignore them.
    “Vexen’s got no fan-girls or fan-boys, so this is the obvious place to hide.â€
    “I DO SO HAVE FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Vexen screamed, “THEY ARE JUST HIDDEN!!!!!!â€
    “Hiding Fan, Crouching Marly.†Demyx muttered sarcastically.
    “YES HIDDEN!!! SO THERE!!! I WON’T HELP YOU GET RID OF YOUR FAN-GIRLS AND FAN-BOYS!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!†Vexen laughed manically, as Zexion picked up the deterrent and sniffed it.
    “Okay, firstly this is just grey water-“
    “D’OH!!!!!†Vexen screamed, and started banging his head on the table.
    “And secondly… WILL YOU STOP THAT?!†Zexion yelled at the older scientist, at the end of his tether.
    “NEVER!! NEVER!!! NEVER!!!! NEVER!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!†For every never, Vexen hit his head on the table.
    “You know, I think I’d rather be with the fan-girls now.†Demyx squeaked. (Chocolate kicking in…)
    “Don’t make me slap you.†Zexion muttered darkly. “Vexen…â€
    “NEVER!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!†Demyx screamed, getting freaked out, and hyper. (Chocolate kicked in) Zexion held his head in one hand, the ‘deterrent’ in another.
    “DEMYX!! VEXEN!!! CALM DOWN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “NEVER!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!â€

    “EVERYONE SHUT UP!!!!!!!†Larxene yelled from the doorway. “I NEED TO BORROW DEMYX TO HELP ME ELECTROCUTE MARLY!!!!!!â€â€œTake him.†Zexion muttered, as Vexen continued to slam his head on the desk.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “OW!†Marluxia grabbed the back of his head where a pebble had made contact with his head. “OKAY!! WHO THREW IT!??!!? OWN UP!!!â€
    “BYE BYE MISS AMERICAN PIE!†Xigbar sung merrily, as Marluxia spun around.
    “Well, who threw it?!†Marluxia’s eyes widened as he looked up, and saw the person who was responsible for the stone throwing, trapped in one of the towers.
    “DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVVY BUT THE LEVVY WAS DRY!!!!†Xigbar continued singing, oblivious to Marluxia’s shocking discovery.
    “X- Xe- Xemnas?!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Who saw that coming?

    If you were not mentioned in this chapter, you will be mentioned in the next one.

    YOU ALL ROCK!!!!

    Insanly yours

    stripy4
    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Aug 17, 2008 in forum: Archives
  8. stripy4
    Chapter XV: Recovery, Soul Devouring, and Happy feet!

    Randomness is very healthy. In my opinion.

    Wow. Thanks for the compliment!
    I also laugh a lot during exams. And creating mental images is what I do! XD


    Nah, he's just a tough man... Uh, nobody.

    All will be revealed. And emo-bunny- I read your post, but the computer's being funny. And trust me, Xemmy will be stressed A LOT faster than two days... More like two seconds!

    Enjoy your healthy dose of randomness!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Speaking of Xemnas, where is he?

    …

    Uh, Xemnas?

    …

    Yuh-oh.

    This can’t be good.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The underpaid Pizza hut employee stood outside the Castle That Never Was.
    “My god…†Glancing up and down, the employee pushed the buzzer.

    “What is it?â€
    “I’ve got a pizza delivery for a Mr Organization XIII?â€
    “Dammit Demyx! How many times have we told you not to use that name when ordering pizzas!?â€
    “Sorry Luxord!â€
    “So, I’ll go get the bloody pizza then, is that it?â€
    “Yep!â€
    “I loathe you with every fibre of my being.â€


    Before the employee could run away as fast as possible, the door opened.
    “Um… 20 munny please.â€
    “Yes, we have ordered pizza here before, thanks to the twat.†Luxord grabbed some munny. “We have told him time and time again, does he listen? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo…†Luxord shoved 20 munny into the employee’s hand. “Go away.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sora was hiding under a desk in Xemnas’ office, shivering slightly as Larxene hunted him down.
    “Oh Soooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… Where are you?â€
    “Not under the desk, that’s for sure.â€

    Bugger.
    Sora, you messed up big time.
    What the?! Get out of my head!
    HA!! NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!
    You have issues.
    Yes, yes I do. My issue is you.

    With a loud BANG Larxene kicked the desk over.

    “So, I look like an ant, do I?â€
    “Meep.â€
    “Well, I’M A RED ANT!!!!!!!!†Larxene summoned her kunai. “AND I BITE- OW!!!!!!!!!!!†Larxene fell to the floor. Standing behind her was our favourite red-head armed with a shovel. No, it’s not a drunk Axel.
    “Kairi, what did you do to her?â€
    “Something unholy. Now, let’s go kill Roxas!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Luxord threw the pizza box at Demyx.

    “Here’s your pizza idiot.â€
    “I am not an idiot. Oh, no. Definitely not!†Demyx shook his head furiously.
    “Yes you are!â€
    “I am not!â€
    “Prove it!â€
    “E=Mc2.â€
    “Every living creature knows that.â€
    “PIZZA!!!!†Axel screeched, before picking a piece up and jamming it into his hair. “A brilliant hair decoration if I ever saw one!â€
    “Axel, it has pepperoni on it.†Riku frowned.
    “Yes, and that adds to the marvellous glamour of it all.â€
    “… Okay?†Riku turned to Luxord. “Why-?â€
    “I don’t know.â€
    “He has amnesia.†Demyx called from the pizza box, where he was struggling to cut off a slice.
    “Can’t you cut some, whatever your name is?†Asked Axel wandering out of the room. “Don’t worry, I’ll sort it.â€
    “CAN SOMEONE UNTIE ME!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?†Bellowed Vexen from the floor, where Roxas had left him after tying him up.
    “In a bit.†Demyx explained, as Zexion regained conciseness.
    “My head hurts. But not the part that I was hitting on the table.â€
    “Larxene hit you with a rounder’s bat.â€
    “That would explain it.†Zexion mused.

    “I’M GOING TO CUT THE PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Axel, running in with…

    Remember when Demyx got stuck in the gates, and Axel cut him out?

    Remember the circular saw?

    Good.

    “NO AXEL!!!!!! DON’T CUT THE PIZZA WITH THAT--!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Xaldin lay sprawled out on the floor of the basement, with several cans of beer surrounding his head like a drunken halo.

    There, wasn’t that a poetic description? GCSE poetry, kiss my butt!

    Ahem. Anywoo, Xaldin was hammered, which was why he was blissfully unaware of the pizza chaos, or the fact that their leader had gone missing. And the fact Marluxia and Lexaeus was filming him with a camera.

    Good times.

    “So…†Marluxia paused and glanced at the silent hero. “Read any good books lately?â€
    Shake of the head.
    “Not a book kind, huh?â€
    Shrug.
    “’Kay then. What about films? Ever seen The Craft?â€
    Shake of the head.
    “Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children?â€
    Shake of the head.
    “The Pink Panther?â€
    Shake of the head.
    “Happy feet?â€
    A pause, before a nod.

    It should be know, Happy Feet was the Organizations’ favourite film.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Back in the kitchen…

    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “... Well this is an awkward silence!â€
    “Shut up Axel.â€
    “Is that what my name is?â€
    “Must not kill. Must not kill.†Luxord shook his head. “Oh buggeration. KILL!! KILL! KILL!!†Luxord lunged at Axel, who screamed like a girl, and jumped out the window, landing on one of Marluxia’s surviving rose bushes.
    “AH! My… Everything.†Axel moaned from outside the window, as everyone glanced at the pizza covered walls.
    “Maybe I could wash it off…â€
    “No, Demyx, no.â€
    “But-“
    “Hey guys,†Axel shoved his head through the open window. “Why am I in a rose bush? And how the hell did I get here?â€
    “Do you know who you are?†Axel gave Vexen a withering look.
    “No s*** Sherlock. It’s Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorised?â€
    “YOU’RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!†Demyx squealed, as he hugged Axel.

    Now, let’s have a proper look at this. Axel is half in, half out of the window, and he just got a massive hug.

    Did you guess correctly?

    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU DEMYX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    SMASH!!!!!


    “Ouch…†The group left in the kitchen winced.
    “YOU THINK YOU’RE SO BIG JUST BECAUSE… BECAUSE… YOU’RE TALL!!!!†Demyx yelled from outside.
    “I KNOW I’M TALL!!!!!â€
    “YEAH, WELL YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOW OFF ABOUT IT!!!!!! DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “NO DEMYX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sora and Kairi walked into the kitchen and stared at the total chaos. Kairi raised her eyebrows.

    “Riku, what happened?â€
    “Something to do with Axel being tall.†Riku muttered darkly from under the table.
    “What?â€
    “I don’t know!†Riku yelped. “Can someone help me out from underneath this table!?â€
    “How much will you pay me?â€
    “Shut up Luxord.†Sora stated, before walking over and pulling Riku out from underneath the table.
    “Thank y-“
    “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU DEMYX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Axel screamed, as Demyx raced into the kitchen, with the pyro in hot pursuit. “I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “That’s no empty threat.†Roxas piped up. “I saw him devour someone’s soul once, that was a very weird day.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Flashback within a flashback!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In a mission in the underworld…

    “I’m hungry.†Axel complained for the fifth time that minute. Roxas made a noise similar to an angry dog.
    “We’re in the bloody underworld! You’re not going to find a sea-salt ice cream shop down here, okay?â€
    “But Roooooooxxxxxaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssss!!!!!!!!!!!†Axel whined. “I’m soooooooooooo huuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnggggggrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Then go eat someone’s soul or something. I don’t care.†Roxas shrugged before marching off.
    “Okee-dokee.â€

    “HEY! MISTER!! GIMME BACK THAT SOUL!!!!!!!!!!!†Roxas stopped dead as he heard a shriek echo through the underworld.
    “Please oh, please! If there is a God of nobodies, please may Axel not have actually done what I said…†Roxas begged, as Axel ran around the corner.
    “Souls taste like candyfloss!†He proclaimed, crushing all of Roxas’ beliefs in religion.
    “AXEL!!! I DIDN’T MEAN FOR YOU TO EAT SOMEONE’S SOUL!!! AND… They taste like candyfloss?†Roxas stopped mid-rant as this bizarre fact set in.
    “I know! It’s so weird!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    End of the flashback within a flashback! (Remember: A soul a day keeps your friends and relatives away!)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “I am very very glad I am not a nobody.†Sora stated, glancing around the kitchen. Larxene walked in, pointed at Kairi, and slid a finger across her throat. Kairi gave her a different, ruder sign.
    “LOOK WHAT I STOLE FROM XIGGY’S ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Alexia announced, wandering into the room.
    “You stole his guns?â€
    “Well, he wasn’t using them.†She reasoned, as Axel set the room on fire to attack Demyx. “What does this button do?â€
    “DON’T PRESS THAT!!!! THAT’S AUTOMATIC FIRE!!!!!â€

    RATTA-TAT!!! RATTA-TAT!!!!!! RATTA-TATAT!!!!! RATTA-TATAT!!!!!! BOOM!

    “Oops…†She muttered, as she glanced around the remains of the kitchen. “If anyone asks, Marluxia did it.†At this, Axel gave her a pat on the back.
    “Welcome to the Organization kid.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Back in the basement, no amount of alcohol could drown out the noise of Xigbar’s guns going off at high speed. Lexaeus and Marluxia glanced at the sideburny nobody.

    “Go check?†Lexaeus asked.
    “Yeah, you guys go ahead. I’ll be there in a minute.†Xaldin ordered, as he leant forward to grab some more beer.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Marluxia and Lexaeus ran into the room and stared.
    And stared.
    And stared just a little bit more.

    “What... What happened? And where is the kitchen?†Marluxia asked.
    “It was your fault.†Axel explained, as Sora, Kairi and Riku started to plummet Roxas into oblivion.
    “OW! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!â€
    “What?!â€
    “You were very drunk at the time.†Explained Alexia. “So drunk you couldn’t remember.â€
    “I was not!â€
    “NO KAIRI, NOT THE SHOVEL, NOT THE SHOVEL!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Are you sure?â€
    “WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME WITH A LIGHT BULB!!!!??? STOP IT ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “YES!!!â€
    “Damm!†Alexia cursed. “Who’s got a crap memory?â€
    “Dunno really.â€
    “SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!! DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    End of the massive flashback! Phew!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “… And that’s when you came in.†Axel finished off, with a firm nod of the head. “Do you understand now?â€
    “Um…â€
    “Why do you blame me for everything?â€
    “Because…†There was a pause. “It’s payback.â€
    “For what?â€
    “… Everything.â€
    “Gee. Thanks.†Marluxia scowled. Oh, Marluxia. If you knew the horrors that lay ahead…

    “I’m going to crack.†Murmured Xaldin. “Like an egg. I am going to crack.â€
    “Then I’m out of here.†Demyx shrugged cheerfully, before legging it to the door, followed by Axel, Roxas and Alexia.
    “Cracking up, cracking up, cracking up…†Xaldin held his head, as if letting it go would mean it fell off.

    “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    “What the-“
    “SHUT THE HELL UP AND RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†The screams from outside the room made everyone freeze.
    “What’s happened now?†Wept Xaldin, as a terrified Demyx, Axel, Roxas, and a confused Alexia ran into the kitchen.
    “What’s going on?â€
    “…â€
    “…â€
    “I don’t actually know.â€
    “You wouldn’t.†Axel turned around to face Marluxia. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Oh, not that again.†Marluxia sulked.
    “No, actually, this was your fault. Remember this:â€

    “So?†Marluxia frowned. “It was an accurate statement.â€
    “Yes, but Marluxia. Throughout this fan-fic, the fourth wall has been in a perilous state, barely there in fact.†Roxas explained, being very knowledgeable on fan-fiction, as he is in a lot of it. “When you said that, it collapsed. And that allowed… them through.†There was a terrified silence in the ruins of the kitchen.
    “No… Not them…†As this statement was whispered, the horror of all Kingdom Hearts characters ran through the door.

    “… The fan girls.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Oh noes! I'm so evil, mwa ha ha!

    If you want to be in the next chapter, tell me who you are a fangirl/fanboy of. Except Thalassa_Shells, I know she's a Riku fan.

    By the way, you HAVE to listen to 'A flower blossoming in the slums' from the Final Fantasy VII - Crisis Core soundtrack. It's soooooooooooooo good!

    That's all.

    Peace out dudes!

    Insanly yours

    stripy4
    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Jun 24, 2008 in forum: Archives
  9. stripy4
    Hiya! :action-smiley-030:

    I liked it. It was very descriptive, and Saix and Axel behaved a lot like... Saix and Axel. Which is good! This looks very interesting, I hope your computer gets fixed soon!
    Post by: stripy4, Jun 2, 2008 in forum: Archives
  10. stripy4
    Chapter XIV: Pizza, Pom-Poms, and Mould Collections

    Thank ye. Thank ye kindly.

    I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves, yes on everybodys nerves...
    SPREAD THE SONG!!!!! SPREAD IT!!!!! SPREAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Agh. Sorry it's taken so long to write a new chapter, but life has been insane. Scratch that. Life has been more insane than usual.

    Are ye ready, me hearties? (God, I need to stop reading about pirates)


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sometime Later…

    Xaldin walked into the kitchen, and froze. He looked around, dazed.
    “Okay, how did this happen?†Xaldin asked the Organization.

    “Well…â€
    “Ya see…â€
    “IT’S ALL AXEL’S FAULT!!!â€
    “’TISN’T!!!!â€
    “EVERYONE HAVE A POT NOODLE AND GO TO SLEEP!!!†(That was Xigbar)
    “Shut up Xiggy.â€
    “No, you should shut up.â€
    “Me? I didn’t do anything?â€
    “You stood there and laughed.â€
    “So?â€
    “I’m bored.â€
    “My head hurts.â€
    “Because a light fell on it.â€
    “Oh yeah.â€
    “You FORGOT about that?â€
    “Well…â€

    “Okay, everyone shut up now!†Xaldin yelled, causing everyone to fall into silence. “Can someone please explain why the kitchen has been set on fire, flooded, shot, and now covered in… Whatever this is…â€
    “Dough.†Demyx piped up.
    “Yes, dough. Well? Can anyone explain?†There was a long silence.

    “It had to do with Vexen.â€
    “And pizza.â€
    “And walls.â€
    “And sugar.â€
    “SUUUUUGGGG—“
    “Shut up Demyx.â€
    “No. SUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!â€
    “Tell me Demyx, did you also lose your BRAIN when you lost your heart?â€
    “Hmm…â€
    “Don’t tell me you have to think about it?â€
    “I don’t think I did.â€
    “OKAY!!!!†Xaldin yelled. “What happened?†There was a long silence. “If no-one tells me soon, I will-“ (The following threat has been cut out for the sanity and innocence of the readers. However, it did involve curtains, a piano, several lightbulbs, and Paris Hilton music.)
    “Okay, Xaldin, you can stop threatening us now. We get the picture.†Roxas yelled, covering Demyx’s ears.
    “Roxas, can you let go of my ears now?â€
    “Maybe…â€
    “No. Nada on maybe. Now.â€
    “Nope.â€
    “DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!â€
    “NO DEMYX NO!!!!!†But, of course, Demyx didn’t listen. And the kitchen was flooded again.
    “Mein Gott.†Was all anyone could say.
    “Explain. Now.†Xaldin said, summoning his lances.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The next two chapters will be nothing but flashbacks! Mwa ha!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Roxas had shoved the chair onto Vexen’s head, and was now running around the lab like a headless chicken. (No, do not cut off a chicken’s head to see how it runs, just use your imagination.)

    “ROXAS!!!! I ONLY NEED A LITTLE BLOOD!!!!!!â€
    “USE SOMONE ELSES!!!!!â€
    “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I NEE- OW!!!â€
    Vexen rubbed his head, where Demyx had hit him with his sitar.
    “Leave Roxas alone!†Demyx yelped, before hitting Vexen repeatedly with the sitar.
    “’Kay Demyx, that’s enough.†Zexion called from the doorway.
    “Itsy witsy spider went up the water spout…†Axel sang to himself happily, rocking back and forwards. Roxas stared at him.
    “Who are you? And what have you done with Axel?â€
    “He’s got amnesia.†Zexion explained. “So he… OW!! GET THOSE RIBBONS OUT OF MY FACE!!!!â€
    “Sorry.†Alexia pulled the ribbons out of Zexion’s face, and started poking them in Axel’s face.
    “Purty ribbons!â€
    “Yes Axel! Follow the purty ribbons! Follow them! Foooooooooollllllooooww!!â€
    “Are you annoying him or trying to hypnotise him?â€
    “… Why can’t it be both?†Then the wall collapsed, and the SWAT team arrived.
    “ROLL OUT!!!!!â€
    “HOLY- RUN!!!!!â€
    “Holy rum?â€
    “No, just run!â€
    “Just rum?â€
    “JESUS!!!!â€
    “Jebus?†Alexia frowned.
    “Are you being intentionally dense?â€
    “Huh?†Zexion nearly wept.
    “Please!†He begged. “For the love of Kingdom Hearts, stop being thick!â€
    “For your King of Darts?â€
    “No. Kingdom Hearts.â€
    “King of fa-?“
    “SHUT UP AND RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!†Roxas screamed, grabbing hold of Axel, who was distracted by ‘The funny men in the uniforms and with the spray that makes my eyes feel like they’re on fire!’ (Also known as the S.W.A.T team, armed with pepper spray)
    “What about Vexen?â€
    “Fine, he can come.†So, Roxas grabbed Axel and dragged him out by the sleeve, while Zexion, Demyx and Alexia grabbed Vexen and dragged him out. He was a lot heavier than he looks. Roxas then locked the door with his keyblades, as the S.W.A.T. team banged hard on the door.
    “That was close.†Roxas sighed. “Now what?†There was a very long pause.
    “Let’s get some pizza hut!†Demyx yelled, running towards the kitchen. There was a slight pause.
    “Anyone got a better idea?â€
    “No. But I wish I did.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Last time we saw Xaldin, he had a bus full of moogles on his head. Has there been a change? Well…

    “IT’S CRUSHING MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    …No.

    The nobody with the incredible sideburns scowled as Lexaeus and Luxord tried to remove the bus of moogles from Xaldins’ head. However, they were failing, miserably, while Larxene was filming it.

    YouTube is a wonderful thing. And that is le fact.

    The moogles however, had woken up (They had been zoned out on Hi-Potions) and were not pleased about being in a bus on a large nobodies head. What do moogles do when they aren’t pleased? Well…

    “AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER KNEW HOW PAINFUL HAVING POM-POMS SHOVED UP YOUR A** IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    O.o

    I think we’ll leave that.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Water and electricity do not mix. So what happens when Demyx tries to use a telephone?

    “Hello? Hello? Hello? HELLO!!!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!?â€
    “Dial the number idiot.â€
    “Ah.†Demyx nodded. “What is the number?â€
    “I don’t know, look it up in the phone book.â€
    “Where is the phone book?â€
    “I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Roxas, grabbing string from the cupboard which he planned to tie Vexen up with. Zexion was banging his head on the table, wondering if it was possible to knock himself into a state of blissful unconsciousness. Alexia was pulling all of the drawers open.
    “EW!!!†Alexia screamed, slamming the most recently opened drawer. “What is… That?â€
    “Oh, you found Lexaeus’ mould collection!†Demyx yelped, pausing from his kitchen-wide search for the phonebook. (No doubt it would soon turn up behind a kitchen cabinet.)
    “I found his… What?â€
    “Mould collection.†Demyx smiled, as Alexia looked disgusted and disturbed. “He needs something to nurture. It’s a way of insuring he doesn’t start the flying Rock Circus again.â€
    “… I think it’s spawning intelligent life.â€
    “No doubt more intelligent than most of the organization…†Muttered Zexion darkly from the table. He had not yet succeeded in knocking himself into unconsciousness.
    “It appears to have a book club.†Alexia commented, before pausing. “It appears to be cannibalistic.†She pushed the drawer back in. “Let us never speak of it again.â€
    “Agreed.†Zexion muttered.
    “Oh, I’m bored of looking for the phone book!†Demyx had a look of concentration on his face.
    “Well, you could train the mould to look for it for you.â€
    “A-ha! I’ll just guess the number!†Demyx grabbed the phone and slammed the number in. This caused several looks of anxiousness around the kitchen. “Hello? Crimewatch? Hey, you don’t happen to have the number of the nearest Pizza Hut, do you? Nope? Okay, thanks anyway.†Demyx hung up. “I think I got somewhere!†Zexion banged his head VERY hard on the table.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Meanwhile, the moogles had been bribed to leave Xaldin alone, with ethers. When they were last sighted, they were attempting to push them up their noses.

    Xaldin had the feeling you get when you have lost every scrap of dignity you have left.

    Trust me, I know how that feels, XD

    But nevertheless. Or something like that.

    Xaldin was wondering if it was too early to drown his sorrows yet. As he was pondering this, three figures landed on his head.
    “OW! OW! OW!!!!!!†He yelped, as each one landed on his head.
    “Oh, hey Xaldin!†Sora grinned, and fell off the nobodys head. “Ouch!!â€
    “We’re very sorry about this!†Kairi apologized, who was holding a shovel.
    “It’s just we threatened Roxas and we want to keep it.†Riku nodded sagely. Xaldin sighed.
    “Fine. Whatever. I don’t care. Marry him if you want.†This caused the teenagers eyebrows to shoot far far beyond their hairlines. Kairi hit Xaldin in the face with the shovel, and walked off. Sora and Riku glanced at Xaldin.
    “One, she’s PMSing. And two, how does it feel to be beat up by a girl?â€
    “I hate you all.†Xaldin muttered. “Now, if you excuse me, I have an appointment with several cans of beer and the basement.†And with that, Xaldin left. Sora and Riku glanced at each.
    “Times like this make me worry for this Organization.†At this Riku’s eyebrows rose to a height not yet recorded by man.
    “They try to kill you, destroy your life, they kidnap your girlfriend, and you worry about them?â€
    “I am a chronic worrier. You know that.â€
    “Sora, you are a chronic IDIOT!â€
    “HURRY UP YOU TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON’T, YOU’LL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS XALDIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “… She’s your girlfriend.â€
    “SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!â€
    “HURRY UP!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Zexion had still not managed to fall into a state of unconsciousness. But he sure as hell made himself VERY VERY VERY dizzy. And confused.

    “This is better than when he’s drunk!†Larxene, who had joined the group in the kitchen, grinned. “Classic.â€
    “It is good, isn’t it?â€
    “Heeeeeeellllllloooooooooo? Yes, I am the person in charge of the phone bill-“
    “No you’re not.â€
    “Shut up Roxas. Well, I am somewhat happy with my service.†Demyx’s eyes lit up. “12 munny for that many minutes? Plus free minutes per month? I’ll sign up if you tell me the number for Pizza Hut, because I’ve just been dialling random numbers for hours now. You will? Oh, thanks! My e-mail?Um… ‘Iamdasuperior@hotmail.co.uk’ Thank you.†Demyx then hung up.
    “Demyx, you can’t use the superiors e-mail address!â€
    “Says who?â€
    “EVIL CHICKEN GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Yelled Zexion.
    “Oh by the gods, not this again.†Larxene sighed.
    “Wha-?â€
    “Last summer, before you joined, Axel founded a group of Evil Chicken Gods worshippers. Zexion joined when he was drunk, Xigbar joined because he thought it was hysterical, Demyx joined because he was bored, and Marluxia hates chickens, so that’s why he joined.â€
    “But-“
    “The daily sacrifice was a chicken.â€
    “Ah.†Roxas wondered if the mould collection was more intelligent than most of the organization.
    “WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! HEY, FAN HAIR LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M IN A FRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!â€

    Most definitely.

    “AH! NOW MY HAND IS STUCK!!!†Axel whimpered from inside the fridge. “WOW! The little light DOES turn off when the door is closed!â€
    “WE DON’T CARE!!!!!†Roxas screamed, as Alexia shoved her head out into the doorway.
    “Hey Roxas. There’s a girl with a shovel out here.â€
    “HI ROXAS!!!!!!†Screamed Kairi. “Well, we threatened you, and here we are!†Roxas turned pale.
    “What have I done to deserve this?â€
    “We have a list!†Sora beamed. “Okay, ‘What Roxas has done to deserve this, Part One’. He has strange hair-“
    “This is coming from you.â€
    “He is emo-“
    “NO I AM NOT!!!!!â€
    “He tried to kill me-“
    “I was testing you!â€
    “He won’t shut up!â€
    “… I hate you.â€
    “Yeah, that’s here somewhere.â€
    “It’s in Volume three.â€
    “You have a volume three?â€
    “We haven’t got much to do, what with you all being unable to do anything because Mansex is having a nervous breakdown.â€
    “… God you must be bored.â€
    “Uh, guys? The fridge is on fire.â€
    “… SOMEONE GET AXEL OUT OF THERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Roxas, realising that the pyro had decided to burn his way out of the fridge.

    BANG!!!

    “Oh, look, Zexion succeeded in knocking himself out!â€
    “Larxene, you just hit him over the head with a rounder’s bat.â€
    “Baseball bats are so overused.â€
    “Who cares?â€
    “I do! I have an image!â€
    “Of looking like an ant.†There was silence after Sora’s statement.
    “…â€
    “As soon as I said that, I realised it was a mistake.â€
    “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Larxene screamed, summoning her knai, a scowl on her face.
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!†Sora leapt out of the window, followed by Larxene. So, the situation in the kitchen was:

    Sora: Missing in Action
    Riku: Totally confused.
    Kairi: PMSing, and armed with a shovel.
    Zexion: Unconscious.
    Demyx: On the phone to Pizza Hut.
    Axel: Being dragged out of the fridge, which is on fire.
    Roxas: Wondering how to escape from the shovels wrath.
    Larxene: Also missing in action.
    Vexen: Waking up, wondering about the wonders of Sudafed.
    Alexia: Dragging Axel out of the fridge.
    Mould Collection: Worshiping Scooby Doo, while eating each other.

    Wow. I can see why Xemnas needed a break.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    I'm so sleepy... And I've got an irate mother on my tracks. Yay!

    I'm going to Ireland again on Saturday, and I won't be back for a week. But I'll try and write some stuff up when I'm over there. And I haven't packed.

    And spread the word of the Evil Chicken Gods! XD

    Chin up me hearties!

    Insanly yours
    stripy4
    :ninjacat:

    TO ALL SECTION MODS AND MODS!! PLEASE DO NOT CLOSE THIS THREAD!! I AM GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK ON SATURDAY, SO I WILL NOT BE POSTING FOR A WHILE!! BUT I SHALL RETURN AND POST!! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MESSAGE!!
    Post by: stripy4, May 21, 2008 in forum: Archives
  11. stripy4
    Who can hate a middle aged, pirate sufer nobody?

    Not me, that's for sure.
    Post by: stripy4, May 12, 2008 in forum: Kingdom Hearts HD II.5 ReMIX
  12. stripy4
    WOO-HOO!!! Chapter XIII: Amnesia, Moogles, and BADGERS!?!?!?!

    *Hides with you* They have pepper spray. *Shivers*

    I'm glad you think so!

    I NOW HAVE XIII CHAPTERS!!! *Gets very excited about this rather small number* :woohoo: I now have as many chapters as Orginization members! Not including the fourteenth member.

    Now let us get on with the show! Or Story! Or Chapter! Or... I'm rambeling now. How do you spell rambeling? Shut up brain!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Back at the Castle That Never Was, sometime later…

    “Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.” Axel squeezed his soaking wet cloak dry. “Water is disgusting.”
    “Actually-“
    “Demyx, open your mouth one more time, I shall burn you alive, okay?”
    “But-“
    “BURN YOU ALIVE, Demyx.” Axel threw his cloak at him. “Got it memorised?”
    “No. I never have.”
    “Go and shove your head down a toilet, then flush it.”
    “Okay.” Demyx walked out of the room. Seconds later, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard throughout the Castle.
    “We have dodgy piping.” Axel muttered. “We need to blackmail the plumber again.”
    “What’s Demyx doing?” Roxas asked, walking into the room.
    “Shoving his head down the toilet, then flushing it.”
    “… Why?”
    “I told him to.”
    “Okay.” Roxas raised an eyebrow. “You’re in a bad mood.”
    “So would you if you had just been SOAKED!!! Got it memorised?”
    “I was soaked you idiot!”
    “Oh yeah.”
    “Axel.” Zexion walked into the room. “Is the fact there’s a S.W.A.T. team in the castle got anything to do with you?”
    “Uh… No.”
    “You are a rubbish liar.”
    “Technically it’s Demyx’s fault.”
    “NO!” Demyx ran in from the bathroom, his hair soaking wet and smelling… Like a toilet. “It was Marluxia who ran across the cars!”
    “Yeah, but if you hadn’t become hyper…”
    “If you hadn’t decided to set everything on fire!”
    “Yeah but…”
    “HAH! CAN’T THINK OF A COMEBACK FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!” Demyx started doing a victory dance.

    SMASH!!!!!!
    BANG!!!!!
    CRUMBLE!!!!!


    “…The hell?” Axel, Demyx, Zexion and Roxas shoved their heads out of the door, to see a berserk Saïx, and normal Larxene and Marluxia destroying several walls.
    “YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” Larxene screamed. Yes, she is quite sadistic.
    “Ah.” Zexion frowned. “I forgot I asked Marluxia and Larxene to destroy the walls.”
    “You did what now?” Alexia appeared out of nowhere.
    “Shut up hag.” Axel snapped.
    “What did I do?”
    “Leave Roxas, Saïx and me with a hyper Demyx in Legoland.”
    “Oh yeah.” Alexia grinned. “That was funny.”
    “No it wasn’t!”
    “If it wasn’t funny, why would I have video taped it and put it on YouTube?”
    “No. You didn’t.”
    “It’s already got a hundred hits!”
    “AHHHHH!!!!!” Axel proceeded to bang his head on the wall. He then accidentally smashed the wall in.
    “Does that hurt?”
    “Are you a hag?”
    “Just asking.” Alexia shrugged.
    “Roxas?”
    “Yeah Axel?”
    “Go get Vexen. My head’s bleeding. Got it memori-?” Then Axel passed out.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Remember the louder than usual explosion from Vexen’s lab last chapter?
    You do?
    Good.

    “GODDAMMIT!!!” Vexen yelled, his face covered in dust and debris. “THE BLOODY THING WASN’T SUPPOSED TO EXPLODE!!!!!” He then kicked the table. “AND THAT JUST ADDED TO THE PAIN!!!!!”
    “Uh, Vexen-“ Roxas’ eyes widened as he walked in. “What… What happened?”
    “THE BLOODY THING BLEW UP!!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BLUE!!!!” Vexen banged his head on the desk.
    “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.” Roxas paused. “You know what? I think I’ll let Zexion deal with this.” And he began to walk out of the room.
    “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Vexen ran over and grabbed Roxas. “I need some help!” he paused for a second. “And your blood.”
    “Yes Vexen.” Roxas wriggled around in the older nobodies death grip. “Sadly, I am not a trained phyciatrist. I think Xaldin has room in Xigbar’s cage if that helps.” Vexen laughed his creepy laugh.
    “No, I’m not going insane!” He gave an insane laugh. “I need your help with an experiment. For which I also need your blood.” And he laughed the insane laugh again.
    “Okay. Vexen, you are saying you’re not insane.”
    “Right.”
    “But you’re laughing an insane laugh.”
    “With you so far.”
    “See the contradiction?” A pause.
    “No.” Vexen dragged Roxas over to the table. “Blood. Now.”
    “Oh dear Gott in Himmel.”
    “You speak German?”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Somewhere else in the castle, Xaldin was reaching breaking point.

    “My God, why have you forsaken me?” Xaldin threw his hands up in the air. He was then run over by Cloud on a motorcycle.
    “Sorry.” Cloud started up the motorcycle, and rode off. As Xaldin stood up, he was then run over by Tifa, who was in a delivery van.
    “Not sorry. Where did Cloud go?” Xaldin wearily pointed her in the right direction. “And he was on his motorcycle, right?” A nod. “Okay. Thanks. NOT!” And then she drove off.
    “Excuse me.” Xaldin went over to the nearest phone, and dialled a certain number. “Yes, hello? Okay, look here, this isn’t even making sense anymore. I DON’T CARE!!! I’VE JUST BEEN RUN OVER BY A MOTORCYCLE AND A BLIMMIN’ VAN!!!!!” A pause. “Look, the fourth wall… It’s already dead. Well… Oh fine!” Xaldin slammed the phone down, and then stabbed it with a lance. “Stupid writer.”

    The stupid writer then decided to drop a bus full of moogles on his head.

    “Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Shouldn’t he be back by now?”
    “Mmm…” Demyx carried on playing his sitar. Axel was still unconscious on the floor, and Zexion was reading a book.
    “Demyx.”
    “Mmm…”
    “Shouldn’t. Roxas. Be. Back. By. Now?” Alexia said, very slowly.
    “Mmm…”
    “You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
    “Mmm…”
    “You are ******ed, aren’t you?”
    “Mmm…”
    “You’re a bad musician, aren’t you?”
    “Mmm… Wait, what?” Demyx snapped out of his musical induced trance.
    “Finally. Shouldn’t Roxas be back by now?”
    “It depends how much of a failure Vexen’s last experiment was.” Demyx explained. “If it was a total disaster, Vexen probably won’t be able to speak or listen for about half an hour. If it wasn’t so bad, it may still take a while.” Demyx shrugged. Then the phone rang, Zexion sighed, and answered it.
    “Hello, The Castle That Never Was, bored out of our brains, how can we help you?”
    “OHMYGODHELPMEVEXENWANTSTOUSEMYBLOOD!!!!!!”
    “Roxas is that you?”
    “VEXENWANTSTOUSEMYBLOOD!!!!!!”
    “Um… Okay.” Zexion sighed. “Tell Vexen not to use your blood.”
    “ITRIED!!! HECAN’THEARME!!!! HE’SDANCINGAROUNDSINGING ‘DOWN DOWN VIDA I’M DOWN’!!!!”
    “Oh s***.” Zexion swore. He remembered this. “Hang on Roxas, we’re coming.”
    “What’s wrong?” Demyx asked.
    “Vexen’s having ANOTHER ‘moment’. He wants to use Roxas’ blood.”
    “Aye.” Demyx shivered. He remembered Vexen’s last ‘Moment’ very well…

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Flashback time!!!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Demyx walked down the steps in Twilight’s View slowly. He had only been in the Organization 2 weeks.
    “NEW NOBODY!!!!”
    “Huh?” Next thing Demyx knew, Vexen had leapt out of nowhere, and slammed his hand over Demyx’s mouth.
    “Shush.” Vexen hissed. “The evil pink and blue ponies are after us!”
    “The… What?” Demyx raised an eyebrow. He may be naïve, but he wasn’t STUPID.
    “Evil pink ponies. They want to lock us inside Candy Mountain, and steal our kidneys to use in black market surgery.” Vexen looked around. “Only you can help me Lemyx.”
    “Demyx.”
    “Whatever.” Vexen shrugged. “Now let’s run for it!” Vexen fell down the stairs. “ARGH! MY SPLEEN!!! Oooooh. So that’s what it looks like…” Demyx just stared at him.
    “Dear God help me.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    End of Flashback @.@
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “It must be stress that causes these ‘Moments’.” Zexion mused out loud. “Or early senility.”
    “Oooooooh… My head.” Axel wearily raised his head.
    “Axel! Are you okay?” Demyx asked.
    “… Who the hell are you?” The other three nobodies exchanged looks.
    “Uh-oh.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In Vexen’s lab, Roxas was hiding underneath the table.

    “ROXAS!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!?!?!” Vexen yelled. “I DON’T NEED MUCH BLOOD!!! ONLY A FEW CUPS!!!!!”

    Jeez, that makes me feel so much better!
    It does?
    Oh Kingdom Hearts in a hot dog bun, NOT NOW SORA!! I thought you went to kidnap Santa Claus.
    Yeah, we did. We’ve got a ransom as well!
    Please, just leave me alone.
    Okay.
    That was too easy.
    HI!
    SORA!!!
    Nope. Not here.
    Sora, I do not want your idiot friends here either!
    Okay, now you’re getting hurt.
    Dammit.
    This will be good. I’m getting popcorn.
    Double damm it with knobs on.


    “AHA!!!!” Vexen’s head appeared under the table.
    “Dear God.”
    “COME ON NOW!!!” Vexen yanked Roxas from under the table. “I ONLY NEED A LITTLE BIT!!!!!”
    “How about… No?”
    “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!” Vexen did his creepy laugh. “YOU’RE FUNNY!!!”
    “Now I am scared.”
    “BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Marluxia and Larxene had taken a break from destroying the walls.

    “You know, destroying walls is actually very tiring.” Larxene commented, as she drank some water.
    “Mmm… Just a little bit tiring on the wrists.”
    “I totally agree. Although…” Larxene pointed to the still berserk Saïx “That doesn’t stop him.”
    “Nothing would.”
    “That is true.” Larxene sighed. “I hate Mondays.”
    “It’s Thursday.”
    “Your point?” Larxene fizzled slightly.
    “Nothing.”
    “Good. Because if you did have a point, I would electrocute all of your plants. WITHOUT MERCY!!!!!”
    “You never electrocute anything with mercy.”
    “That is true.” Larxene finished her water. “Let’s get going!”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Okaaaaaaaaaay.” Demyx frowned. “You know who I am! I’m Demyx.”
    “What’s a Demyx?”
    “Dear sweet Kingdom Hearts.” Zexion held his head in his hands.
    “Do you know who you are?” Asked Alexia.
    “Nope.”
    “Bugger.” Zexion swore for the second time that day. “He must have given himself amnesia.”
    “Am- whaty?”
    “Nothing, it’s not like you remember it.”
    “Okay dokey!” Axel managed to set Demyx on fire.
    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
    “USE YOUR WATER DEMYX!!!!” Zexion and Alexia yelled at the same time. “USE YOUR WATER!!!!!!!”
    “USE MY WHAT-ER?”
    “WATER!!!!!!”
    “OH, THAT!!!!”
    Demyx caused a massive tidal wave in the corridor.
    “Oh God.” Zexion shook his head, and Axel started screaming. “SOMBODY SHUT HIM UP!!!!”
    “Okay!”

    BANG!!!!

    “What was that?”
    “I just knocked him out.” Alexia grinned, holding two ribbons in her hands. (YAY! THE RIBBONS REIGN OF TERROR BEGIN!!!!)
    “Right.” Zexion raised an eyebrow. “Well… Demyx, what are you doing?”
    “I found a big brick!”
    “That’s nice.” Zexion sighed. “Now…Alexia, stop poking Axel.”
    “It’s not like he can feel it!”
    “That’s not the point.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “Yes.”
    “Very sure?”
    “Yes. Now we have to stop Vexen from bleeding Roxas dry. How many times in your life do you get to say that, and mean it?”
    “Um, one, two…”
    “I didn’t mean you should count it Demyx.”
    “Are you-“
    “Don’t you start.” Zexion sighed. “Okay, let’s go.”
    “Shouldn’t we bring Axel?”
    “Well…” Larxene and Marluxia picked that moment to smash their way through the nearest wall.

    “MWA HAHAHAHA!!! NO WALL CAN STAND IN THE WAY OF THE SAVAGE NYMPH!!!”

    “Yes.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Luxord walked past, and then came to a sudden stop.

    “Is there supposed to be a bus full of moogles on your head?”
    “No.” Xaldin snarled. “Otherwise I would have been BORN with a bus of moogles on my head.”
    “No need to snap.” Luxord sighed. “Shall I get Lexaeus?”
    “Yes please.” Xaldin sighed. “I think I’m being cruched.”
    “At least you don’t have a brain to damage.”
    “HEY!!!!” Xaldin caused a mini hurricane in the corridor, causing Luxord to fall over. “GET LEXAEUS ALREADY!!!!”
    “OKAY, OKAY!!!” Luxord rolled his eyes. “What’s the panic?”
    “I have a bus on my head, that is the panic.”
    “Fair enough.”
    “GET LEXAEUS YOU STUPID NOBODY WHOSE ONLY POWER IS GAMBLING!!!!!”
    “Okay, that’s it!” Luxord turned Xaldin into a card. “Have fun, Mr Windpasser.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Let’s see what going on in the lab.

    “GET OVER HERE NOW!!!!”
    “I HAVE A CHAIR!!!! AND KEYBLADES!!!!”
    “I WARNING YOU!!!”
    “AND I’M WARNING YOU!!!!”
    “RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!!!!”
    “NOT WHEN THEY’RE SENILE!!!!!”
    “IT’S NOT THAT MUCH BLOOD!!!!”
    “I’VE GOT THAT… THING!!!!”
    “GET OVER HERE NOW!!!”
    “NO!!!!”
    “I MEAN IT THIRTEEN!!!”
    “SHOP DA WOOP!!!”


    O.o
    Okay then.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Zexion had a headache.

    “Are we there yet?”
    “No.”
    “Are we there yet?”
    “No.”
    “Are we there yet?”
    “NO!!” Zexion held his head in his hands for the umpteenth time that day. “We. Are. Not. There. Yet. If any of you three,” He pointed to Demyx, Axel and Alexia “Ask that one more time, I shall take great pleasure in KILLING YOU!!!!” There was silence for a minute.
    “BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM! AGH! A SNAKE! OH, IT’S A SNAKE! IT’S A BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!” Sang the other three nobodies as obnoxiously as possible.
    “He loses his memory, and yet he can remember the WHOLE GODDAMM BADGER SONG!!!!” Zexion yelled.
    “BADGER BADGER BADGER-!!!”
    “SHUT UP!!! NOT ONE MORE BADGER!!!!” Silence.
    “IT’S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!! IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS!! AND THEY ARE STILL SINGING IT ‘CAUSE!!!! IT’S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!!!” The trio started singing again.
    “SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!” Another silence.
    “DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM!!!!!” The trio started again.
    “HOW THE HELL IS IT THAT AXEL LOSES ALL HIS MEMORIES, EXCEPT HIS KNOWLEDGE OF ANNOYING SONGS!!?!?!?!?” Zexion screamed. There was a pause.
    “Who knows?” There was a general murmur of agreement. Zexion sighed.
    “Will you please stop singing annoying songs at the top of your voices?”
    “No. I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! EVERYBODYS NERVES, YES ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!”
    “SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Zexion bellowed, causing the three nobodies to flinch heavily.
    “Who the hell is this guy?” Axel frowned.
    “You don’t want to know.”
    “Jeez, thanks. Let’s head to the lab.”
    “FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE ENGLAND! ENGLAND! FOO-“
    “SHUT UP!!!!”
    “S.W.A.T. TEAM, ROLL OUT!!!”

    “I forgot about them…”
    “YOU FORGOT THERE WAS A BLOODY S.W.A.T. TEAM IN THE CASTLE?!?!?!!?!?!?!?”
    “What’s a S.W.A.T. team?”
    “Well…”
    “ATTACK!!!!”
    “Never mind, just run!”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Oh, I love those songs that drive you insane! The badger song is my favirote, you can watch it here Here is the Doom song, The song that never ends, I don't think I got the lyrics right for that, *Gulps* The song that gets on everybodys nerves, and The Badger: Footie special

    Anyway, gotta go. See ya me hearties! (Must stop talking like a pirate)

    Insanly yours,
    stripy4

    EDIT: Guys, there's been a turn of events, and, basically, I'm leaving for Ireland for a week tomorrow. I'll try and write a bit when I'm over there, but I can't make any promises.
    Sooooooo sorry!
    :ninjacat:

    TO ALL SECTION MODS AND MODS!! PLEASE DO NOT CLOSE THIS THREAD!! I AM GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK ON SATURDAY, SO I WILL NOT BE POSTING FOR A WHILE!! BUT I SHALL RETURN AND POST!! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MESSAGE!!
    Post by: stripy4, Apr 18, 2008 in forum: Archives
  13. stripy4
    Chapter XII: Legoland, cardbord, and elves.

    Thank you all for the patience!!!

    I HAVE FOUND THE CURE FOR WRITERS BLOCK!!!!

    School holidays! :)

    And it is here! I reserched Lego Land for this... And then ignored all of the said reserch. I am a bad person.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Saïx, Roxas and Alexia turned to see Axel running towards them.
    “It’s a disaster! An unmitigated disaster! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!â€
    “What the hell do you mean Number VIII?â€
    “Well, you see… Look I tried to stop him, really, I did…â€
    “Axel, what the hell are you going on about?†Roxas asked, getting straight to the point.
    “Well… Demyx kinda… Ate a large bunch of candyfloss.â€

    Silence.

    “Is that bad?†Alexia inquired.
    “IS THAT BAD!?!?!? IS THAT BLOODY BAD!?!?!?!? IT’S LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD!?!?!?!?!?†Saïx, Roxas and Axel all screamed, causing some odd looks from passer bys.
    “Just asking…†She shrugged. “Demyx was the other one who came here, right?â€
    “Yes.â€
    “The one who’s riding around in a push-chair that’s on fire?â€
    “Huh?†The three older nobodies turned to see that Demyx was, indeed, riding around in a pushchair that was on fire.
    “Oh sweet Kingdom Hearts…†Saïx face-palmed. “What else could go wrong?â€
    “I’m a fairy!!†Demyx lunged at Saïx, and glomped him.
    “Get. Off. Now.†Saïx hissed. “Stop laughing, VIII, XIII and XIV.â€
    “No way!†Axel shook his head, still laughing.
    “I hate you all.†Saïx hissed. He wasn’t allowed to berserk in public areas, such as LegoLand. “Someone get him off me.â€
    “Uh, Demyx…†Roxas tried to think of something to say.
    “CANDYFLOSS!!†Alexia yelled, pointing to a stall selling candyfloss.
    “WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!†Demyx let go of Saïx, and charged towards the stall.
    “Why did you send him there?†Axel asked. “He’ll only get more hyper.â€
    “I know. I just feel like seeing you suffer.†She shrugged, and then ran before anyone could attack her.
    “What a prize hag.†Saïx snarled, as Demyx shoved more candyfloss down his throat.
    “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “HE’S COMING!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Xigbar was yelling.
    “EVERYTHING IS MADE OUT OF CARDBORD!!!! AND I HAVE DEATH RAYS IN MY EYES!!!! YOU BETTER BELIVE IT!!!!â€
    “Shut up, before I… do something you won’t like.†Luxord finished lamely.
    “EEK! SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE!!!†Xigbar was actually scared of this rather rubbish threat, and curled up into a ball. “Me frightened.â€
    “I’m concerned.†Xaldin sighed.
    “Why?â€
    “Because, Zexion threatened pay-back, and you know what happens when he threatens pay-back. Remember Marluxia and the Greenhouses?â€
    “Oh, yeah.†Everyone (except Cloud) shuddered. “That was a weird day…â€
    “When isn’t it a weird day?†Luxord shrugged.
    “… That is so true.â€
    “CLOUD STRIFE!!!!â€
    “Oh s***!†Cloud leapt out from under the table, and sprinted for the other door, closely followed by Tifa.
    “I WILL PAINT YOU PINK IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!!!!â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    Cloud jumped out of a window.
    “GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE!!†Tifa leapt out of the window too.
    “I’ll sort her one of these days.†Scowled Xaldin, glaring at the window like it offended him.
    “I am so glad I don’t have a girlfriend/stalker.â€
    “Same here.†Lexaeus nodded.
    “I thought you fancied Larxene?â€
    “WHAT?!!?!??†Larxene’s voice crackled over the loudspeaker, as Lexaeus’ face went bright red.

    CRACKLE!!!!
    FFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Lexaeus decided just not to speak for a few days. At least.

    “LEXAEUS AND LARXENE SITTING IN A TREE!!!!â€
    “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!â€

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    It was going to be one of those days.

    Again.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    “Okay!†Saïx barked. “Why the hell are we here?â€
    “Well,†Axel explained, sitting on Demyx’s face. “I felt like setting stuff on fire, so Demyx said we should go to Legoland.â€
    “And then Demyx started getting extremely hyper.â€
    “SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “Shut up Demyx.â€
    “And then you turned up and told us that putting a house on sale on Ebay when you are drunk isn’t valid.â€
    “And things kind of went insane from there.â€
    “Right.†Saïx nodded.
    “Look mummy, an elf!â€
    “Huh?â€
    “BWA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!â€
    “Grrrrrr…†Saïx scowled at the young kid. “Stupid kids…â€
    “You do look like an elf though.â€
    “Number VIII, we have been through this, I am not an elf. My parents were not elves. I have no elf blood in my veins. Okay?â€
    “Are you sur-“
    “YES!!!!!†Saïx screamed. “IS! THAT! O-BLOODY-KAY!!!!?â€
    “Nope.†Axel shook his head. “I want a DNA test, and your family tree.â€
    “You killed it Axel.†Roxas shook his head. “Shame on you.â€
    “No I didn’t.â€
    “You did.â€
    “I didn’t.â€
    “Did.â€
    “Didn’t.â€
    “DID!â€
    “DIDN’T!â€
    “DID DID DID!!â€
    “DIDN’T DIDN’T DIDN’T!!!â€
    “YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD!!!!!!â€
    “I DIDNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN’TTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!â€
    “SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU BEFORE I GO BERSERKER ON YOUR BEHINDS!!!!â€
    There was silence for a moment.
    “Uh… Where’s Demyx?â€
    “… Oh crap.â€
    “SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “SCRAMBLE!!!!â€

    “Let’s spilt up! Roxas, you head for the helicopters! Saïx, you head for the Labyrinth! I’ll head for the cars!â€
    “My rank says I’m in charge.â€
    “My Chakram says I’m in charge.â€
    “…â€
    “He’s got you there Saïx.†Saïx just glared at Roxas.
    “Oh, fine!†The three of them ran away from the hyper, flooding Legoland, nobody. Also know as Demyx.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Xaldin shoved his head around the corner.
    “Is it clear?â€
    “I’m not even looking out of the door, how am I supposed to know?†Luxord sighed.
    “Uh… Good point.†Xaldin tip-toed forward.
    “WHERETHEHELLISCLOUD!?!?!?!?!?â€
    “YAAAAAAHHH!!!†Xaldin swung his lances wildly, and hit Tifa in the face with them.
    “Yuh-oh…â€

    SMASH!!!
    CRASH!!!
    OOF!!!
    CLANG!!!!


    “You sorted her, did you Xaldin?â€
    “Shut. Up.†Xaldin scowled, rubbing his foot. “I am not leaving this basement.â€

    BOOM!!!

    Everyone paused at the louder than usual explosion from Vexens’ lab.
    “On second thoughts.†Everyone ran out of the basement.
    “HEY!! WHAT ABOUT ME???†Yelled Xigbar after them.
    “Oh, right.†Marluxia ran in, knocked him out, and then ran out again.
    “I feel that was the right move.â€
    “Very caring of you Marly.â€
    “I know.â€
    “You do know I’m being sarcastic?â€
    “Uh…â€
    “Of course he doesn’t! He spends too much time with his non-sarcastic flowers!†Larxene’s voice crackled over the loudspeakers, making everyone wince at the static.
    “YOU TAKE THAT BACK LARXENE!!!â€
    “Make me.â€
    “Okay.†Marluxia sprinted towards Larxene’s room, pulling out his scythe as he did. This caused the destruction of several walls in the building.
    “Oh great. They’re going to destroy most of the building, aren’t they?â€
    “Well…â€

    “YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!â€
    “DIE FLOWA POWA!!!â€
    “STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!â€


    “Yes.†Lexeaus nodded.
    “And there’s nothing we can do to stop them.â€
    “Nothing short of elephant tranquilisers.â€
    “Do we have any?â€
    “No.â€
    “Oh, right.†Xaldin sighed. “Bang goes that idea.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Larxene and Marluxia were not actually fighting. They were just yelling at each other.

    “Your mom!â€
    “Your mom’s mom!â€
    “Your mom’s mom’s granddad!â€
    “Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster!â€
    “Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster’s SISTER!â€
    “Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster’s sister’s AUNTIE!!!â€
    “As intellectually challenging as this conversation is…†Larxene and Marluxia turned to see Zexion in the door. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to interrupt.â€
    “What for?â€
    “A proposition.â€
    “What kind of proposition?â€
    “Mess up the castle big time. And you get paid.â€
    “How much?â€
    “2000 munny each.â€
    “Hmm…†Larxene and Marluxia pondered this over. “Deal.â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Saïx walked into the hedge again.
    “Damm this place. Why did I have to hide here?â€
    Because Axel hates me.
    “Damm Axel.†Saïx walked into the hedge again. “Ow. Why the hell does legoland have a fricken maze anyway?†Just then, a random employee popped up.
    “Well, we feel that having a maze increases childrens minds, and-“
    “Shut up or I will kill you.†He waved a claymore in the persons face to underline that point. “Is there a way out?â€
    “We feel that you should find that out for yourself.â€
    “I feel if you don’t tell me I will decapitate you.â€
    “We feel-“
    “Shut up.â€
    “But-“
    “Shut up.â€
    “I-“
    “Shut up.â€
    “SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! RANDOM EMPLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Roxas could hear the screams of Saïx, Demyx and the random employee in the car section of the park.
    “This is like a freaky game of hide and seek.†Roxas shuddered. “And the loser gets soaked. Lovely.â€

    Talking to yourself, first sign of madness.
    Sora. Shut. Up. Now.
    Or…?
    I kill all of your friends.
    Phwp! Like you could do that! How many friends have I got? Kairi, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Leon, Yuffie-
    Seriously, I’ll find a way.
    Like what?
    Um… Ur… I’ll tell Saïx that you stole his socks!
    He doesn’t have any stolen socks.
    Do you three stalk us, or something?
    We sure do!
    … That’s disturbing. As hell.
    We’re bored! What do you expect us to do?
    Yeah, find a non-creepy hobby?
    Yes, we do actually!
    Boring!
    Go kidnap Santa Claus or something!
    That’s a stupid idea!
    Let’s do it!
    Hell yeah!
    Oh, thank god they’re gone.


    “ROXAS!!!†Roxas spun around, keyblades out, expecting to have to hold back a hyper Demyx. Instead…
    “Larxene?!?! What the hell are you doing here?â€
    “We need you to help us annoy Saïx so much he goes berserker, and then portal him into the castle that never was.â€
    “So that he can destroy it.†Marluxia finished.
    “Um…†Roxas looked at them. “Why?â€
    “Well, Zexion said if we messed up the castle enough, he’d pay us, but because we are dead lazy, and enjoy getting Saïx in trouble, we thought we’d get him to do it, and then collect the munny.â€
    “Riiiight.†Roxas nodded. “Not crazy or anything like that.â€
    “Shut up. Are you helping or not?â€
    “I’ll help, if you help me.â€
    “With what?â€
    “If you see Demyx, could you give him a little electric shock.â€
    “Sure I can!†Larxene gave a sadistic smile.
    “A LITTLE ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!!â€
    “I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!!!!†Screamed Larxene.
    “Ah! My ears! Let’s go annoy Saïx goddamit!†Marluxia grabbed both Larxene and Roxas by the ears, and dragged them across the cars.

    Yes. ACROSS the CARS.

    “OW!â€
    “HEY! WATCH IT!!â€
    “Yo, my kid is driving here!â€
    “Yeah? Well I’m walking here!â€
    “Marluxia! You’re going to get us arrested!â€
    “No I’m not!â€
    “SECURITY!!!â€

    MWA WA WA WA!!

    “ROLL OUT!!!â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT’S A S.W.A.T. TEAM!!!â€
    “Not again!†Sighed Roxas.
    “Let’s go find Axel!â€
    “How?â€
    “We’ll use one of these cars!â€
    up! Let’s go!â€
    “Dear sweet Kingdom Hearts…â€

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Axel was merrily setting fire to the helicopters. Well, not the ones that had people in them, he had had enough problems with the police and various governments for doing that.

    And being sued was boring.

    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!â€
    “LOOOOOOOOOK OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT AXXXEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
    Axel spun around to see a car made of lego coming straight for him.
    “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!†Axel screamed, and then saw a S.W.A.T. team following them. “You got chased by a S.W.A.T. team without me?â€
    “If you want in, jump in!†Larxene yelled, and Axel promptly leapt into the Lego car.
    “Doesn’t this break several laws of physics?â€
    “Very probably!â€
    “Okay, just clearing that up!â€
    “TREE!!!!â€
    “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!â€

    “We nearly killed a tree!â€
    “Marly, SHUT UP!!â€
    “Make me!â€
    “Not this again!â€
    “LOOK OUT FOR THE SITAR!!!â€
    “The sit-“ There was a silence, as the watery nobody called Demyx picked up his sitar.
    “Oh crap.â€
    “DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!!â€
    “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!â€


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Ouch. Sorry guys, but everyone being soaked had to be done. Axel will never forgive me. And fear not, Alexia will be more involved in the next chapter.

    Good night me hearties!

    Insanly yours,
    stripy4
    :ninjacat:
    Post by: stripy4, Apr 10, 2008 in forum: Archives
  14. stripy4
    I was just at a party, and we made one of those juices where you put everything in it. And we put everything in it. There was orange juice, Coca cola, Fanta, water, serveral love hearts, drumsticks, and fizzers. There was also lettace, cucumber, chicken, rice cakes, pepper and a sandwhich in it.

    Some people drank it. (Not me!)

    Then it got thrown out! Our masterpiece! *Sobs*
    Thread by: stripy4, Apr 7, 2008, 2 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  15. stripy4
    Sanctuary and Passion. I just freakin love those two songs. I also like First Love.
    Post by: stripy4, Apr 1, 2008 in forum: Music
  16. stripy4
    I have four (Because I am a total movie freak):

    "Spider pig! Spider pig! Does whatever a Spider Pig does! Can he swing from a web? No he can't. He's a pig. Look ooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttt! He is a spider pig!"

    "You can take Spider Pig with you."
    "He's not Spider Pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper."

    "Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power."
    "Of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power, it's boring, no-one listens to you!"

    "You just brought another load of crap from the worlds fattest fertisiser salesman!"

    All are from the Simpsons Movie.
    Post by: stripy4, Apr 1, 2008 in forum: Movies & Media
  17. stripy4
    Nice idea!

    Nice ideas!

    Nice idea!

    Nice idea!

    Nice idea!

    Ooooooh! They're all really good ideas... I think I shall put them in a hat, and pick one at random, because I love them all!

    (Puts them in a hat)

    Drumroll, please! (Drumroll) And the winner is...

    ~Amber~ with ribbons! (Idea copyright to her) I love that idea! (And yes, I was once hit on the nose with a flag, so I feel your pain) But LOVE all the other ideas too... That gives me an idea... ('Tis a secret)

    No new chapter. Got writer's block. (Again) But, my R.E. project is done, and it's nearly the Easter holidays, so I shall be able to write more. I hope. As long as I can get rid of the writers block. But I will... eventually
    .
    Post by: stripy4, Mar 31, 2008 in forum: Archives
  18. stripy4
    O.o

    I think that the course of human evolution has been set back a few years.
    Post by: stripy4, Mar 25, 2008 in forum: The Spam Zone
  19. stripy4
    I get it, but I don't find it that funny.
    Post by: stripy4, Mar 25, 2008 in forum: The Spam Zone
  20. stripy4
    It's kind of... um...

    We use it to express anger, frustration, that kind of thing. It is often used with 'hell'. For example:
    "Did you do the homework?"
    "BLOODY HELL!! IT WAS DUE IN FOR TODAY!?!?!?"

    *Based on an actual conversation I had today*
    Post by: stripy4, Mar 25, 2008 in forum: The Spam Zone