To find Kurt Zisa, I think you have to hit somewhere in Agrabah. As for preparing for him, I just used my strongest keyblade at the time(I beat him with the Chocobo blade.)with the best accessories at the time(which were a protera chain and a fire ring), along with dodge roll, block, scan, Ars Arcanum, and MAYBE I decided to use the Simba summon because I was a noob. That's just what I did.
Okay, I've got one! GETTING OWNED BY A HEARTLESS THAT ISN'T A BOSS.
Parora? PARORA?!! OMG BOMB WHY?!!! NO WAI!!!!!!!!!
Geez, I thought you'd never get this done... I don't recall ever deciding to use a FAL. I'm more of an M14 guy myself.
Wait, wait, wait... *Reads again* Ha! You, Jason, Leif and I would get along VERY well! We're those kind of people as well, but we're out of school by this point...
Well, somebody did their homework! Where'd you get all this information, Military Weapons at Wikipedia.com? There's no way you already knew this. And about that battle strategy they used in this chapter, it's actually something my squad used when I was in the Army. You know, before I transfered to the Marines.
Looks good so far, man. Keep this up, I'm interested as to what kind of material Morgan can create in his head... And whether or not I'll enjoy editing it...
I think what Jason meant to word it as was, "Parora's taking things a bit over the top with the 'I have a bad life' thing. He has a supportive family of military folks, and sure he gets annoyed with them once in a while, but that's not necessarily bad."
Hey, man. How's that vacation in London going?
Hey, nobody holds anything against ya, Jack. Have fun, and take care of your dad. It's probably best right now.
Gotta' give him points for trying, though (Ninja poof!) Username: R3c0Nzi13 Name: Samuel Mayday Age: 19(wasn't that his age in the story, Jase?) Gender: Male Class: Mercenary Appearance: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3144/2770085581_5a5bf2b2d1.jpg Bio: Hired by Rogues to take out anybody they want him to, Samuel is a bit of a nutjob when it comes to business. Weapon of Choice: Knives(not shown), daggers(not shown), short swords(not shown)
...Wait, why'd you call us Watermelons? Do we LOOK like a green fruit with a chewy red center that everybody seems to love?! DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME WITH THAT KNIFE, SALEM!!!
'Sup, Salem? I saw your icon in my friends request box, so I had to check to see if you came here at all. Because everybody who knows you knows you love making a big deal out of introductions, XD Seriously, though, hi.
Wait, what the hell happened? Did you throw chapter five into that reply, or were you trying to reply, but your computer glitched and put chapter five in with that response?
While I would normally begin with praise of how well the story has been written, I must instead move on to the errors made. The paragraphs are oddly made, and it is confusing to try and read this story, as I have several times accidentally skipped lines and had to go back and re-read it so I don't get confused. This certain subject has been used many times before, as have many other subjects, and thus, the way you have described it seems repetitive and unpleasant to read, since it seems as if the reader has a general idea of what to expect. I'm not saying it's a bad subject of literature to use, I'm just saying you should try and change it up a bit so your readers don't become quickly bored and stop reading. I noted several spots where I wonder if the dialog is meant to be that way, or if you forgot to add words. For example: "I laughed so much when I seen her start crying", I'm wondering if it was meant to be written in such a way as to imply modern day speech, or if you missed a word or two. Because if you missed a word, you might want to put in "Had" after "I", or even change "I" to "I'd". Overall, though, I did thoroughly enjoy reading this, and though I wish I could give it a five, I must rate as my criticism allows and give this a 3. Sorry.
I'm liking how things are developing so far in this story. And I noticed how much you were trying to avoid spelling errors, obviously knowing that me, being an Editor, would complain about them, right?
Well, this is certainly Jason Haley style literature. You seem to enjoy referring to any characters without names by their gender/occupation/race/appearance, don't you? (BTW, how's that autobiography going?)
I don't put links to real posts written by people I know, so I just pull random numbers out of my head and put those in. That was what came to my...
Yeah, you wrote most of them, save for the first book and this one, and I think I might have written Orion... I don't remember.
Naw, if I made "The Night" in reference to the many songs called "The Night", I might get sued by every song writer still alive.
