Search Results

  1. Lauriam
    deadline is friday
    Thread by: Lauriam, Feb 1, 2023, 10 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  2. Lauriam
  3. Lauriam
  4. Lauriam
    View attachment 50761

    [​IMG]
    Thread by: Lauriam, Dec 12, 2021, 3 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  5. Lauriam
    View attachment 50748
    Spooky
    Thread by: Lauriam, Dec 7, 2021, 10 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  6. Lauriam
    真剣に受け止めてください
    Thread by: Lauriam, Sep 12, 2019, 1 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  7. Lauriam
    Thread

    Arch is Lame

    You heard it here first.
    View attachment 50402
    @Arch
    Thread by: Lauriam, Sep 8, 2019, 7 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  8. Lauriam
    I've got some free Staff Files here if you want 'em. Keep it quiet, hm? But yeah, I found these top secret files in an old folder lyin' around and you look like the type of person who'd be interested in seein' 'em, amiright? Yeah, thought so. Granted they're all over a year old, but you can't put an expiration date on humor.
    Don't tell the mods ;D
    Thread by: Lauriam, Sep 1, 2019, 9 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  9. Lauriam
    toast post
    Thread by: Lauriam, Aug 29, 2019, 3 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  10. Lauriam
    Post 1
    Post 2
    Post 3


    Their profile privacy is set so I can't view their details. Who is this mysterious stranger? What was the point in their creating a profile and making three posts just to delete them? Why are they so anxious to delete their account? And most importantly, why do I care?

    Strange.
    Thread by: Lauriam, Aug 21, 2019, 5 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  11. Lauriam
    I've officially been a member of KHV for over a decade now. I mean a lot of my friends here have been around way longer than that so it's not TOO impressive but yeah.

    Ten years of cringe and y'all still put up with me. ^.^ Love you guys!
    Thread by: Lauriam, Jun 7, 2019, 3 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  12. Lauriam
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    I made a joke that all three of those characters are Xigbar and then I realized

    What if they are? We already know that Xigbar is Luxu. But some people think he also might be Brain? And I think if he's Brain, then Brain is actually Luxu from the future, traveling back in time to change the past, meaning the 'Luxu' of that timeline doesn't know that Brain is actually himself. Some people also thought maybe Xigbar was the Master of Masters, before KH3 came out and they learned he was Luxu. But who's to say he didn't also go back in time and became the MoM, unbeknownst to both his Luxu-self and Brain-self?

    Which means that Xigbar is the MoM is Patrick
    and Xigbar is Luxu is Spongebob
    and Xigbar is Brain is Squidward's House

    This is my most groundbreaking theory since Plutonort.
    Thread by: Lauriam, Mar 12, 2019, 1 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  13. Lauriam
    Idk, I kinda just want to talk about how I've been feeling and when I tried to broach the subject with a friend the other day, they cut me off and told me they don't see how I could feel bad when my life is as good as it apparently is, so I'm just kind of feeling worse now and want to talk. Soooo you all get the info dump, sorry lol

    I've been feeling moderately depressed for just over two years now, starting literally on New Years Day 2017 when I got really sick and miscarried my first pregnancy. It was very early in the pregnancy, so my physical health wasn't too bad, and the doctors said it was a lot more common to lose the first pregnancy than people think and not to worry about the future, and to try again in a few months. Since it was so early and since I was physically fine and was told it wasn't going to be a big impact on my life, I tried to convince everyone, myself included, that I was okay mentally as well, but truthfully I was a mess. I isolated myself from nearly everyone I knew and only talked to a handful of people for the next several months, but as time passed I eventually managed to move on and started being more active in the lives of my friends again.

    About a month or two past that, I decided to apply for KHV staff, firstly because I love KHV and wanted to see it thrive, and secondly because I felt like I might feel better if I were involved in some kind of creative work and didn't spend as much time sitting around doing nothing. Plus, several key staffers had just resigned, and activity was growing at that point in time, so it seemed they could use an extra hand. I applied, and had the interview.

    After the interview but before I was officially promotedto staff, I found out I was pregnant again. I was really happy about it. Even though I'd always had trouble trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life professionally, I've always known that I wanted to be a mother as well, so I was really glad. But I was also really nervous because of what had happened the last time. I resolved to do everything right, I was super careful about what I ate, I made sure to leave ANY sort of moderately heavy lifting to other people at work, we had several doctor's appointments to make sure everything was going smoothly. I started my work as a KHV mod in the middle of this, and also resolved not to dive too deep too quickly (which is something I've always had the tendency to do) because I wanted to avoid as much stress as possible for the baby. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant though, aside from one or two people I KNEW I could trust, because I didn't want to tell people I was pregnant again just to take it back a month later like I had the first time.

    That was my situation when the big blow up and fights and drama happened, and although I consistently tried to distance myself from all of it and remain a third party, it just wasn't in the cards and I ended up getting more and more involved until it felt like I was the center of the problem. The others took as much off my plate as they could but at the end of the day there are just some things you can't push off onto other people and I just had to accept that and get through the situation as conflict-free as I could manage, because I was still trying to avoid as much stress as possible for the baby.

    It honestly went about as well as it could have, I think, and the pregnancy seemed to be going well. A few weeks after the drama died down, it had reached the point where I felt I could safely tell people, so I went through the same announcements process I had gone through before, and it was officially known then that I was pregnant. But then unexpectedly, right around October iirc, I had another miscarriage and this one was much worse because it was farther along than the last one. I spent most of the day in the hospital and then the next two days laid up in bed, but idk, I think I like, blocked most of the emotional side of things to the point where I could barely feel it. I convinced myself that I was just 'better prepared for it' that time or that it was 'just easier the second time it happened' and so I kept telling people that I was fine and that it wasn't as big a deal that time. I don't blame the stress from the fights for the miscarriage, I really don't, but it certaintly didn't help anything to have to deal with that AND the miscarriage at the same time. I briefly fell back into sitting around and doing nothing, but when I sat still I started realizing it hurt and I didn't want it to hurt so I stopped sitting still.

    I dove headfirst into the whole "trying too hard too fast" thing to try and distract myself, and started pouring everything I had into KHV. When I wasn't at work or asleep, I was doing SOMETHING related to KHV. I was brainstorming dozens of projects and starting work on the best ones, I was planning ahead for the next five years, I was creating schedules and launch dates and working towards site clean-up and improved moderating, I was updating and rewriting procedures, I was trying to teach myself how to create graphics and new forum skins, I was researching social media practices and brand building, just, anything I could get my hands on, I tried to do, because I didn't want to sit still and let myself think about anything else. And honestly I was having a blast doing it all, and I don't regret any of the work I did, but I just did too much of it and the stress was starting to really get to me. But I was in deep denial at that point and refused to admit to myself that I was stressed out, just like I refused to admit I was depressed, and also I felt like everyone expected me to be the happy, dependable friendly one and I couldn't be depressed or stressed because I was Marushi and Marushi was happy and dependable and friendly. I kept taking on more and more projects, and I WANTED to and nobody forced me to, and I kept saying yes to everything every time someone asked me for help, whether it was a fellow staff member who wanted a hand with one of their own tasks or a member with a problem or just a friend who wanted advice on something, I couldn't say no or say that I was too busy, I had to take it on, even when I knew they would understand if I just told them I couldn't.

    I was starting to be miserable every second I wasn't online because it felt like if I logged off, the site wouldn't be here when I got back. I knew that wasn't the case and I did trust other people when they told me to take a break and they would handle things, but I couldn't separate myself from the site anymore. It was like my whole identity was wrapped up in KHV and if I wasn't Marushi I wasn't anybody at all. I grew to hate my job because I was always miserable because I couldn't stop worrying about what might be happening on KHV while I was gone. I was barely eating or sleeping because I had to look away from the screen to do that. I wasn't talking to my family because I had to look away from the screen so I could pretend to listen to what they were saying while I inwardly freaked out about the deadlines for all the projects I was doing for KHV and how much time was slipping away as they talked. I began to look for a different job than the one I had because that job was honestly getting worse by its own merit, and I couldn't handle all the stress I was under AND work a crappy dead-end job at the same time. I had a really bad day one day and quit my job even though I still didn't have a new one lined up, and then I spent the next six days feverishly glued to my laptop screen trying to launch my special pet project, the frankly HUGELY overambitious massive TWEWY anniversary event I had rushed into with as much gusto and as little foresight as I always do. For those six days, I slept around two hours each day, ate once a day except I think I skipped once or twice, drank endless caffeine, and broke into tears several times because of all the things that were going wrong. I didn't even know I wanted to quit until the day I actually did, and it all just sort of blew up the second I realized "I don't want to do this anymore."

    I almost just denied it and was so close to convincing myself I hadn't really felt that way and that I should just ignore it and get back to work, but fortunately I had already messaged "I want to quit xD" to someone who had already been worrying about my mental health before that, and she made me actually address what I was feeling and the more I told her, the more she realized what I literally couldn't see at that time; that I was working myself to death, and she helped me quit.

    So. I quit my job, and then six days later, I quit KHV work. I was at full stop for the first time since the second miscarriage, and although the first couple of days was spent just recovering from what I'd done to myself over the ten months I'd worked here, I was starting to keenly feel all the emotions I'd worked so hard to deny. But at that point, it had been eight or nine months since the actual event had occured, and I was so raw from the emotions of quitting something I had let take over me so wholly, that I couldn't piece together WHY I felt so awful, I just did. And I hate not knowing why something happened, I like knowing exactly what trigger led to every situation, so I was desperately searching for a reason why my life had fallen apart and I blamed someone who didn't deserve quite as much blame as they got, and I hated them quite a bit more than they'd earned, and I acted on my feelings regarding the matter much more than I should have. I didn't realize until a couple of months ago how wrong I was to place all the blame on another individual, no matter how much or how little of it was warranted. I dug my own grave, nobody else dug it for me.

    But, that's what happened. After the initial shock of the full stop wore off, I found myself completely lost. I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life, what I wanted, how to GET what I wanted, or even really who I was anymore. On a whim, I changed my username on KHV and Discord for the first time since joining in 2009, without fully realizing why other than it "felt better." I still felt wrong when I wasn't working on the computer, so even though I was taking the time to sleep and eat and go out and take breaks, I also spent a lot of time to lay the groundwork for my own personal brand, as I want to be a professional writer one day and my head was full of social media brand building research. I was low-key looking for normal work, since my paycheck hit a full stop too, but I focused nearly all my efforts on a freelance writing website where I could be matched with potential clients and write for money. It all seemed to be going well at first, and I basically had just traded one unhealthy distraction for a slightly less unhealthy one, but then I hit four successive blows in a row. After spending a full month ghost-writing a novella for a first-time writer who meant well but was very frustrating to work with, his deal fell through, which means so did my pay. He still sends me messages sometimes on his own initiative to check in and let me know where he is as far as trying to earn the money to pay me (which is why I know he at least never intended to cheat me even if that's ultimately what happened) but yeah, my first big 'paid' gig didn't earn me a cent. I pushed through though, and kept trying, and I was approached with a huge opportunity to get permanent work at a packaging firm. I had a glowing recommendation and a phone interview that went very well and ended with a 'you've got the job' speech, only to later have them contact me and tell me they didn't have work for me after all but they would put me on their contact list - which led to nothing. I got two more promised jobs like that, neither of them as big as the first two, but still steady, ongoing work, only to have the client cancel the job before any work could begin. By now, it had been a few months since I quit my job, and the small tasks I WAS getting weren't paying for anything at all, not to mention the medical bills from the two miscarriages. I was starting to get really stressed out again, this time from not having ENOUGH work, and I was also really discouraged from all the roadblocks I was hitting as far as writing goes. I still tried to land new clients sometimes, but more often than not I didn't even try because I would look at a job listing that I might have been able to get, would remember my earlier failures, and not even apply for it. I started instead applying for any minimum wage dead-end job in town, and also working on art commissions and selling most of my video games just to be able to keep food on the table while I looked for work. For awhile I was only eating once a day again mainly because I would have run out of food otherwise, but I honestly wasn't feeling all that hungry anyway because I just felt discouraged and depressed.

    It was at that point that I finally started to piece together what had actually happened, starting because all the job applications I was filling out required me to list why I left my previous job and I found I had no answer. Little by little I worked through it all in my head, coming to the conclusion I laid out in this tl;dr post. Once I finally realized all this stuff, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I finally managed to land a new job, and it's actually MUCH better than my last one and pays substantially more, and now that I'm working and exercising more, I'm starting to eat better now as well. It also is a major help that my sister moved in with us and is helping to pay for rent and groceries and stuff, and also she's been helping me feel better just by being around and goofing off with me and making sure I actually eat and leave the house when I'm NOT working, so yeah. I'm doing much, much better than I was even just a month ago, let alone several months or a year or two.

    But better doesn't mean I'm all good yet. I still feel depressed if I'm not doing something or at least if I'm not watching something on YouTube or something. And sometimes even then I just feel kind of dead and heavy and listless. When I can distract myself, I'm mostly happy but it goes away when I sit still. I don't really know what I want to do now, either. I mean, I know where I want to be in five years and I know how to get there, but in the everyday moments when I should work towards that goal, I just... Don't. Because if I try to become a professional writer and I fail, it'll hurt worse than if I just didn't try, and I don't want to live like that so I keep saying I'll try as hard as I can, but then I don't anyway. XD

    On top of that, I also still feel strangely void of an identity. I didn't realize that until I was helping a member with something recently and they called me 'Law' short for Lauriam, and it made me feel incredibly happy and when I asked myself why, I realized it was because, to that member, I wasn't Marushi, I was Lauriam. That was also the moment I pieced together why I had changed my name in the first place. I actually think I might hate Marushi, and speaking honestly I feel almost insane to be putting this much stock in an online username, but I'm done denying how I feel so I might as well admit it. I feel like 'Marushi' became a persona, an ideal me that I wanted to be and TRIED to be, and everything about 'her' is no longer anything I can find within myself. I'm trying to deal with whatever that says about me carefully and with much thought so that it doesn't turn into a real problem, and, cute as it was to be called Law, I'm trying not to let myself grow to view Lauriam as anything other than a username to prevent this whole identity thing from becoming a cycle. I guess, I'm just trying to figure out who I am now because I've changed so much over the past two years I doubt I could ever go back to the way I used to be - lol if I even wanted to in the first place. XD

    I think I like who I'm turning into, though, so that's something. Not everything I do, I like, in fact there are some things I've already done that I feel very guilty about, but balanced out I like enough of me to be better off than I was, if that makes sense. I still feel lost right now but I think I'm gonna be okay in time.

    So I guess, I can see why someone who doesn't know about all that crap would be confused when I say I've been feeling depressed lately. I don't think it was right for them to invalidate my feelings the way they did, but they're as human as I am so I can forgive it. It helps that I know they care about me a lot and they might not understand me, but heck I barely understand me lol, so caring is enough.

    Sorry to dump all this on you guys. I've just been keeping this all to myself for so long and kinda just felt like I needed to say it all somewhere, soooo you guys get the rant. XD Not exactly looking for validation or advice, though of course any is welcome and appreciated. Just having a place to vent is enough.

    Thanks for being here for me, KHV. I love you guys.
    Thread by: Lauriam, Feb 2, 2019, 3 replies, in forum: Help with Life
  14. Lauriam
    [​IMG]
    Ahhh, love…

    It’s that time of the year again. Romance is in the air; you see hearts wherever you go, music is playing, and the scent of a dozen red roses mixes with the smell of chocolates and fine perfume. Those with special-someones are planning their sweet surprises and others are taking this opportunity as a chance to ask out their secret crushes. It’s a time of hope, joy, and sweet, shy love.

    Also, fierce and deadly competition.

    As such, you are cordially invited to join our
    Valentine’s Day Dance, an Elimination Competition to discover who would make the best couple on KHV. Now, before you ask out your dates, I’ll just throw a wrench right into your plans straight off here:

    All participants will be assigned a random partner.

    I know this might not seem like fun for all you people with significant others on the site, but this really is the best way to make the competition fair and fun for everybody, and hey, give it a shot! You might find new friends, and if you end up competing against your significant other, well, a little healthy competition might just bring a fun new spark to your relationship. ;D

    The competition will take place over
    three rounds, with a percentage of couples eliminated each round. The rounds will all consist of various challenges, testing your strength as a ‘couple.’

    The first two challenges will be simple. Challenge one will be to
    coordinate with your partner and create a cutesy, matching couples profile theme, while challenge two will be a short questionnaire that will test how well you’ve gotten to know your partner. Those who survive to round three will be in for a real treat, as the third challenge is going to be a collaboration project with your partner, and will be your choice between a work of art, or a short story featuring you and your partner at the Valentine’s Day Dance, or a love song duet you sing together, or basically any sort of artistic collab project.

    There will also be an
    After Party thread in the spamzone, for spectators and eliminated couples to comment on the action and talk about their favorite challenges. This thread will also serve as the base of the final popular vote. Once the third round is complete and the two survivors determined, a poll will go up in the After Party thread, and all spectators and eliminated couples may vote for which of the two couples they liked best, the winner of this vote named the KHV Power Couple of the year!

    It’s not just gonna be fame and glory, though, because as prizes, we have three pins you can potentially win!

    This pin will be awarded to everyone who signs up and participates in the competition.
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    This pin will be awarded to all four members who survive the third and final challenge with their partners.
    [​IMG]
    This pin will be awarded to both halves of the KHV Power Couple, the winners of the Popular Vote!
    [​IMG]

    Just a couple quick rules:

    1. No fighting, especially not with your partner. If you are assigned a partner that you just can’t work with, please calmly send me a private message explaining the problem within 24 hours of the assignment, so that I can try and find volunteers for a trade. If no trade can be arranged, just try to work together as best you can, and who knows? You might just end up friends by the end of it.
    2. All entries for the challenges must comply with KHV’s content rules, which means keep everything under PG-13.
    3. Really give it your all! If you sign up, your partner is relying on you, so don’t come at this half-heartedly. This is your chance to shine in the Elimination-Round-Spotlight, give us all a show we can enjoy!
    4. If you miss your deadline, you won’t get an extension, so don’t ask for one. You’ve got one shot at each round, and if you miss out, that’s it. Them’s the breaks.

    WHAT WE CHANGED

    Last year was our first ever run of this contest, so it was highly experimental. So, as with any new project, we ran into a few problems last year. Worry not, however! I've made quite a few
    changes to the format this year that should help straighten things out and make this even more fair and fun than it was last year!

    1.
    ALL commentary this year will be confined to the Spam-Zone "Afterparty" thread, even from participating couples. The Playground "in-game" thread will be reserved instead for Challenge One. Last year, we had a problem with how best to show off everyone's Cutesy Couples themes, as some couples used GIFs in their signatures, which can't be displayed well in screenshots, and we ended up having to send voters to everyone's individual pages to look at all the themes, which wasn't ideal. We also had couples with hidden details in their usertitles or profile statuses that were easily missed by voters. So THIS year, at the start of the game, I'll provide a numbered list of the contestants, and each contestant will make one post in the Playground game thread in the order I provide, all partners together. Once their themes are in place, they can edit their reserved posts and list all the things they did in their profile themes (i.e., edited usernames or titles, rotating signatures, profile messages, etc.) so that the users can easily scroll through the thread and see the themes without having to visit a dozen different pages.

    2. Depending on how many users sign up for this competition, we might be able to sort into
    Leagues, one for Contributors/Premium Members, and one for Normal Members. This is due to an issue raised last year; that it might not be fair to judge a Premium Couple's theme as better than a Normie Couple's theme, as Premiums and Contributors have the ability to change their usernames and usertitles, while Normal members can only edit their signatures and profile pictures. If we have enough contestants to split into two leagues, this should no longer be a problem.

    3. This year, we're going to have contestants fill out a short
    Entry Form rather than just post that they're in. The Entry Form will only consist of three questions:

    Usergroups:
    Preferred Artistic Medium:
    Would you be willing to be sorted into a Love Triangle should the need arise?


    The first question, which Usergroups you're a part of, could determine your
    league if we have enough members to split. The second question will come into play for the Third Challenge, where you and your partner will have to collaborate on an artistic project. Although there's no guarantee you'll be partnered with someone who wants to do the exact same kind of project you do, having this question on the form might help match singer with singer, writer with writer, artist with artist, so that the projects will be fun and easy to do for all. The third question is set up to provide for the possibility of an odd number of contestants. If the contestants can be easily separated into groups of two, it won't matter, but if we have an odd number of contestants, three lucky members will end up in a Love Triangle, and will have to coordinate between three people instead of two. XD

    Now that we've covered all the changes we've made this year, let's go ahead and get to signing up! If you want to sign up for this contest, please
    post in this thread that you're in, along with your filled out Entry Forms. Sign ups are gonna close on February First, when partners will be assigned and the first challenge starts.

    Now then, who’s in? We need at least
    ten sign-ups in order for this event to work, but the more people we have, the more fun it’ll be!

    Game roster:
    1. Shiki
    2. LadyAzura
    3. Aelin
    4. CrownMoksha
    5. Day~Dream
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    10.
    Thread by: Lauriam, Jan 23, 2019, 7 replies, in forum: Community News & Projects
  15. Lauriam
    I've got some theories regarding the whole "traitor, lost page, Strelitzia murder, heart box" thingie and I just want to like, lay them out so they make sense, and when I texted the whole thing to my sister at 4AM last night while I was thinking it up, she basically was like "yeah I guess that could happen" and didn't really care, so now YOU guys get to read the expanded, "I had a couple hours to research it" version. XD Obvi there will be spoilers ahead lol.

    First off, this entire theory came to me because I was thinking about something Cstar said, about how maybe Ven's the one who murdered Strelitzia, and Brain AND Lauriam are both just misdirects, and Ven is just automatically viewed as inno because everyone knows him as the pure-hearted cinnamon roll of light he was in BBS. XD I was like "woah you're totally right" and haven't really been able to stop thinking about it ever since, so then last night, everything started fitting together and making sense.

    1. I don't think any of the five Foretellers are the traitor discussed on Gula's lost page.

    People already think Luxu was the real traitor, and I agree, just... I don't think he was the traitor until after the world had already ended. Because I don't think the Lost Page was talking about the five Foretellers at all, I think it was talking about the NEW Union Leaders, and it was completely misread and everyone just THOUGHT it was talking about them.

    Firstly, because we already know there's a traitor among the new Union Leaders. We've known it from the very beginning of the new group, ever since Strelitzia was murdered. XD Since we know there is a traitor in their group, it's not that far off to assume that the Lost Page could have been talking about them instead of the Foretellers.

    Secondly, for a long time, Ava was the only one who even knew about the Dandelions, which can be evidenced by her conflict with Invi in Backcover, when Invi accuses Ava of secretly gathering gifted Keyblade weilders and training them in another location, and is surprised when Ava admits it as her role. If the others (especially Gula) didn't know about the Dandelions when talk of a traitor first began, they definitely wouldn't consider the possibility of the traitor being from the new generation of Union Leaders rising after they're gone. When Ira declares there is a traitor, Gula already believes it and accepts it because of the Lost Page he thinks can only apply to them. And since that's how everyone takes it, that's how it's framed in the story, and since that's how it's framed in the story, that's how the audience is expected to take it. But we all know that in KH, what is framed as "definitely true" might actually be a complete misdirect. XD

    Thirdly, we know very little about what was on the Lost Page or what was in the Book of Prophecy. Both are described as being vague and difficult to understand - like the franchise itself lol - and largely up for individual interpretation. Plus, since we know that the Dandelions were completely left out and Ava was tasked with gathering them in secret, it seems totally plausible for other things to be left out as well - such as the murder of a future Union Leader. And you might defend that such a thing wouldn't be in the Book of Prophecies because it ends with the destruction of their world and the death of the Foretellers, but I say that's just another misdirect and was applied to the wrong situation. XD We know the book continues on after the Keyblade War, because A. it's used as an in-story explanation for the worlds, outfits, and medals from the future, claiming they were "created from the Book of Prophecies." B. If the prophecies ended at the Keyblade War, why give the last copy to one of the new Union Masters in the first place? And C. Because again, if the prophecies ended at the Keyblade War, why tell Luxu to pass on the Gazing Eye for generations of wielders, when there would be no more use of it before the end of his and his colleagues' lifetimes? So yeah the book DEFINITELY goes on long past the Keyblade War with the Foretellers, so the Lost Page could TOTALLY have been taken from a completely different part of the book, and everything's just so vague and confusing that nobody realized they were applying it to the wrong generation. XD

    2. If the traitor from the Lost Page was talking about one of the new Union Leaders, how can it still be Luxu?

    Alright, so, here's why I think it's Luxu: When I was scrolling through pics of the new Union Leaders searching for any sign of the Sigil (since Gula specifically states that the Lost Page describes the traitor as the one with the Sigil) I happened upon this picture of Luxu:
    [​IMG]
    Granted, the zippers on Org. XIII can be difficult to see, but it doesn't seem like any of the other zippers look like that, it's just Luxu and the Master of Masters who seem to have the Sigil attached. And at any rate, they definitely are the only ones in UX who seem to have the sigil anywhere near them. So, although it's possible for MoM to be the traitor, I'm going to assume for this theory that the traitor is Luxu.

    But since I think the traitor is also one of the new Five Union Leaders, I believe that Luxu is the one who murdered Strelitzia and infiltrated the Union Leaders under a new name. Gula's Lost Page states:
    "Unable to permit disharmony, you will be disappointed by fate, and lose sight of true strength...
    Misreading the truth, you will venture forth in secrecy...
    And then with that one strike, a bell will toll for the final battle, and the battle will begin at last, and the time shall be chosen..."

    The story frames it so that it seems like Ava is the true but unwitting traitor, 'misreading the truth' and thinking Luxu is the traitor, 'venturing forth in secrecy' to find him, 'Unable to permit disharmony,' 'disappointed by fate,' and 'losing sight of true strength' along the way and then delivering the 'one strike' that marks the battle. But... Like, if the battle started after the bell was struck, at night, and Ava is already there leading her troops into battle, how did she have time to get there if the strike that rang the bell was her clashing keys with Luxu in daylight? Instead, I think that she clashed keys with Luxu, maybe she won, and left, idk, we don't really see the conclusion of their fight. And then she thinks the crisis is maybe averted, but unbeknownst to her, Luxu survived - maybe with the assistance of what's in the box, maybe Ava spared his life because she couldn't kill him and she believed it was enough, maybe she DID strike him down and he became a Nobody and a Heartless, which, might be possible for him because of what's inside the box. XD Or, maybe because he has No Name, and he uses it to free his own heart from his body and Ava just thinks it's a suicide or something? Idk.

    Either way, Luxu survived the clash with Ava in some way, shape or form, and then he was disappointed by fate, and maybe he (since he didn't have a Book of Prophecies) decided the Foretellers were screwing up the world (one literally tracked him down against the Master's orders, accused him of being a traitor, and attacked him before running off to join a war against the other Foretellers) and he was unable to permit disharmony, and he lost sight of true strength. Misreading the truth, he ventured forth in secrecy, and started searching for the one thing he wasn't permitted to have, that the others all got while he was cast aside (making use of his Deadly Sin being 'Lust') the Book of Prophecies. He learned about the Dandelions and, somehow, learned that Strelitzia was meant to be a Union Leader in the new world (oh yeah a second thing he wasn't allowed to have, a Union) and so he killed her and stole her book, and with that one strike, which we know happened before the final battle since Strelitzia was searching for Player to warn him of the final battle, the keyblade war began.

    3. I think that Luxu is Ventus, and that he killed Strelitzia.

    Again, Cstar is the one who posed the "Ven is the murderer" theory to me, but I agree with it wholeheartedly, and I think it does fit with my theory that the traitor is also Luxu. We know that the traitor is unable to permit disharmony: In the game, Ventus is vehemently against having the wielders fight with each other, the story even going as far as to have Brain point out that it's the first time he's stated an opinion of his own rather than just going with what the others want. We know that the traitor "lost sight of true strength," and I mean, Ventus is constantly mentioning that he doesn't believe he's strong enough to be a Union Leader. We know that Ventus claims to be envious of Skuld and Ephemer's friendship because he has "always been alone," much as Luxu was sent to wander forever, alone. Also, I believe he freely admits he's not in a party or group and doesn't know any of the other Dandelions - which sounds kind of like he's offering an explanation as to why no one will recognize or know him before one is even asked, another sign of a guilty conscience. XD

    Not to mention, when Brain questions the absolute authority of the rules and Skuld declares that yes, they are absolute, Brain and Ventus both agree it makes her a lot like Ava, even though earlier Ventus claims not to have spent much time with Ava (iirc, correct me on that if I'm wrong, I just sort of remember that being a thing I originally dismissed as a continuity or translation error) which is a pretty big tell that he's lying. XD

    Another reason why I believe Ventus is actually the murderer is the existence of Vanitas, and the appearance of Vanitas' keyblade. Because while yes, BBS Ven is a precious gem baby who deserves nothing but love and ice cream, Vanitas is way stronger and way darker than one would expect the 'dark part' of UX Ventus's heart as-framed to be. His presence, power, and personality imply that Ven's heart was much darker to begin with than it first appears. Like a deep secret he carries with him, like an unsolved murder. Meanwhile, Vanitas keyblade is especially interesting:
    [​IMG]
    First off, note all the gears, which are just clearly a reference to the huge room Ventus spent time in as a Union Leader. It's possible that the gears are only indicating that Ven just inhabited the room, but I also think the dark, red-lined broken look of the gears making up the head and key of the blade could indicate a more sinister connection with the room, like he literally killed to get there again. The chains on the keyblade also fascinate me, as chains signify imprisonment, which is also sometimes heavily associated with guilt. I also want to note that this is the only keyblade that has two Gazing Eyes actually set in the blade itself. Every other keyblade save two only has one Gazing Eye if any, and the other two keyblades with two eyes only have one in the blade, the other being a tiny one set in the keychain. Vanitas having the singular honor of two Gazing Eyes in his keyblade could be a clue that he is actually a part of Luxu, the first to inherit the eye to begin with. Honestly, Vanitas' keyblade is exactly the kind of Keyblade I would expect from Strelitzia's killer, especially if her killer was also Luxu.

    4. Ventus's connection to Lauriam and Elrena fits with Roxas's later connections to Marluxia and Larxene.

    Now, with this one, I don't have as much to say, because I haven't played/watched CoM or even Days in a long time, and although my sis and I are watching through all the scenes in preparation for 3, it's slow going and we're only partway through those two games. From what we've seen, however, it makes sense. I think that eventually, Lauriam does realize that Ventus is the killer, and since he claims to be Strelitzia's brother (and there's no logical reason for him to be lying) and since it's heavily implied that Elrena was one of Strelitzia's few friends, they would have ample reason to hate Ventus. Enter Roxas, who looks practically identical to him. Larxene verbally abuses Roxas every chance she gets, and although that is within her character, it just seems... way more spiteful with him than it does when she does it to Sora or to the other members of the Organization. She seems to almost go out of her way to punish Roxas, when with everyone else, it just sort of seems like she's doing it for lols. Larxene acts really bitter, too, not just heartless, and she openly admits she doesn't want to regain her heart because hearts hurt - a feeling you can imagine would be all-too present in someone who's friend was murdered in cold blood for no reason.

    Marluxia, on the other hand, doesn't seem happy about Roxas, but treats him civilly - but after seeing the way he acts among the other Union Leaders (guarded, but pleasant and even friendly) when he must at least suspect them of his sister's disappearance, him being able to act genial to Roxas makes sense. Moreover, Marluxia and Larxene are the two traitors in Castle Oblivion, who aim to use Sora to overthrow the Organization. But I don't remember it being specified how they intend to use him. In CoM, it's played off (iirc) as "dur we need a keyblade to win" but they have a Keyblade with Roxas, and know that Vexen's puppet is primed to become a second one. Instead, they say that Sora is "the key." Not just the keyblade wielder, "the key." What if they know that Sora is somehow the key to finding Ventus, and their main goal is to find him and exact revenge for Strelitzia, and betraying the Organization is just a side effect of their true plan, as the Superior is searching for Ven as well and killing him before the Superior finds him is betrayal in and of itself? Put another way, they're not using Sora in order to betray the Organization, but rather, they're betraying the Organization by using Sora.

    I especially believe this since Marluxia is the one who lured Sora to CO in the first place, while Zexion and the other non-traitors were like "Someone's in the castle... Woah, it's Sora. Omg someone else is here too. Huh, it's Riku! Vexen, you want to help me run experiments on these two jokers to test out our puppets? Cool? Cool." XD

    The fact that Marluxia and Larxene were the last to join the Organization before Roxas anyway, especially one right after the other, gives me reason to believe they let themselves be found and recruited as part of a grander scheme to infiltrate the Organization due to Xemnas's control over Castle Oblivion, and his connection to the Ventus from BBS.

    Speaking of Xemnas's connection to Ven in BBS...

    5. I believe that Xehanort is, if not the Master of Masters, directly tied to him somehow.

    I mean, I don't need to talk much about this. There's already been ample discussion of Xehanort being the Master of Masters. tbh I hadn't really put that much weight into it, idk, I know there's lots of evidence, but he just... never seemed to act like him to me. Speaking honestly, I always thought Braig seemed WAY more like the MoM as far as personality goes. idk, maybe he is the MoM and Xehanort is and always was just his patsy, but that's not likely either. (I'll probs have more thoughts on that once I actually get to the rewatch of 3D lol) Either way, in my theory, Ventus believed Xehanort was the Master of Masters before his memories were taken before the start of BBS. I don't know how or why he might've been fooled if Xehanort isn't MoM, but he clearly is Xehanort's apprentice in BBS, calling him 'Master' and begging him to call off the heartless he's meant to fight. Which, in light of the rest of my theory, would end up being less about the strength of his opponents, and more about his faltered strength of heart. If Ven's conscience about Strelitzia's death is matched by his guilt about the Keyblade War, and if he realized that his actions are what led to the darkness in the world, and if he knows that the Heartless are creatures born from hearts that were swallowed by that darkness (many of those hearts being swallowed during the Keyblade War he caused) then perhaps it's guilt that caused him to be unable to face the Heartless, not weakness in battle.

    I still honestly don't buy that Xehanort is the MoM. I'll probably be proven wrong, lol, and he might be revealed to be so later, but I seriously doubt it. The only thing that makes me believe it's even possible is the fact that Ven seems to think so, and I think Ven is Luxu, who would know. XD If Xehanort is the MoM, then I think he definitely knew Ventus's true name and his history, and he might have actually been punishing him with his own guilt, for betraying him and disobeying his orders. He took his own keyblade back from Ventus, and... No, it just - urgh, it just doesn't make sense for Xehanort to be MoM. XD It really truly doesn't. The time gap between Ventus in UX and Ventus in BBS without him aging can be explained by the presence of time travel and data worlds and etc. and what have you, all that junk that let the real Maleficent get into UX with the unknown figure (who might also be Ventus/Luxu) because we don't have any history of Ventus existing between those two points. He could have just jumped. But not Xehanort! We have a lot of linear backstory for Xehanort. His homeworld being Destiny Islands, his leaving the islands to train alongside Eraquas, his history running around the worlds as he grew older from there, him showing up on Yen Sid's radar from time to time, enough that Yen Sid was aware of his continued existence in that timeframe, it just doesn't make sense for him to also be the MoM! Ugh. I have no freaking clue. But somehow, he's connected enough to MoM for Ventus to believe he is.

    Wait wait wait... Okay so let's assume that by the end of the UX updates, Ventus will jump through time to the future somehow. If he is Luxu, he leaves behind his keyblade, which is then passed down through generations as we know happened. Xehanort is not the MoM in this assumption, but his backstory is as it's been presented. Wants to leave the Islands, trains up with Eraquas, takes the No Name keyblade. When Ven arrives in the timeline again, he sees that Xehanort has the keyblade, and that's why he believes Xehanort is the MoM. He knows the MoM "faded" and disappeared, and now he's been sent forward in time where an old man carries the Master's keyblade. He believes this is where his Master disappeared to, and assumes Xehanort is his Master. There. XD That probably won't be what happens, but loose end in my crackpot theory solved. XD

    And, if Ventus jumped through time from UX to BBS through methods only a Union Leader would know, it follows that Lauriam would probably be able to do the same, and take Elrena with him. In fact, perhaps the reason Ventus jumps through such a drastic length of time - without his keyblade, even - is to get away from Lauriam and Elrena, after they discover what he's done. And perhaps maybe the reason Lauriam and Elrena become Marluxia and Larxene is because something went wrong and they lost their hearts during the jump. XD (Maybe the reason they show up way too late is because they overshot the distance or because the data/world-jumping/time-scanning Book of Prophecies dropped them at the wrong Sigil, giving them Roxas's timeline instead of BBS Ven's.) XD

    So... wow that took forever to write up. XD I've been thinking this over for like two and a half weeks and I just... wanted to talk to anyone about it since my sis loves KH but is not nearly as deep into the lore as I am. XD And quite a few of you guys are even deeper in than I am, so yeah if you tear it to shreds I won't mind. XD
    Thread by: Lauriam, Dec 12, 2018, 0 replies, in forum: Kingdom Hearts Unchained χ
  16. Lauriam
    So I really want that Neverland pin but even if I log in every day I'll still be short like thirty munny so I have to write a fairly long post and also upload images, in order to afford it before it's gone for (maybe) forever. XD

    I don't remember exactly how long the post has to be to get maximum points so I'm just gonna keep talking until I get too bored. Which is already happening but idek so yeah. XD

    What should I do for the image? A gif probably just because.
    View attachment 50023

    Neverland pin, here I come XD
    Thread by: Lauriam, Nov 25, 2018, 3 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  17. Lauriam
    One or two people have asked if I have an art thread and I didn't, but I figure I finally have enough actual art with which to fill said thread, so... Here I go. XD I might make the thread prettier later on but idk I might not so yeah. XD

    Commissions

    View attachment 50313
    So Heart's planning on making this their next tattoo, and I really like how it turned out. Also I've been calling it the "Dayfinder" since it's a Wayfinder... about Days. XD

    Link to tumblr page with info about my commissions
    Thread by: Lauriam, Nov 1, 2018, 7 replies, in forum: Arts & Graphics
  18. Lauriam
    Who's all here? XD
    [​IMG]
    --- Post updated ---
    AELIN WHY DID YOU LOG ON JUST WHEN I POSTED THIS XD
    Thread by: Lauriam, Oct 18, 2018, 15 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  19. Lauriam
    It's been too long since we had one of these, lol.

    KHVR 6:
    Rules and junk basically copy/pasted from Makaze's stuff

    Sign-ups:

    1. Aelin
    2. LadyAzura
    3. Mish
    4. Chris

    KHV Royale Mafia is not your typical Mafia. It is a free-for-all Battle Royale where the object is to be one of the last three players alive. It is fast paced, requires less effort, and allows every person a choice in how they play.

    KHV Royale Mafia uses several new game types.

    Check out the first game, second game, third game, fourth game, and fifth game to talk to the people who played it for more info.

    Everyone Is Mafia

    Everyone Is Mafia means Everyone Is Mafia. There is no Day phase in this game mode. Every night is immediately followed by another Night.

    Each player gets a factional kill each Night and two Bulletproof Vests (BPVs) at the start of the game. You can shoot anyone or be shot by anyone. You win if you are one of the last three players alive.

    Because there is no Day phase and no lynch vote, there is no need for tedious case building and convincing arguments. Do as much or as little as you fancy, so long as you don't die.

    Outside Contact

    Users may talk to each other outside of the game thread. You can use PMs, Skype, or any medium you like. Outside Contact is encouraged in Everyone Is Mafia due to the free-for-all nature of the game.

    Anonymafia
    Players are anonymous at the start of the game via Aliases.

    All players send in an Alias when they sign up. Your Alias is your name in the game. All actions targeted at a player must target an Alias.

    The list of Aliases is posted below the Playerlist at the start of the game with no indicator of who is who. You may tell others your Alias. Aliases are revealed upon death.

    Choose Your Own Role

    You must send in a character of your choice when signing up to the game. The mod will give you a role that corresponds to the character in your role PM. Characters are not the same as Aliases.

    An Alias is a an in-game name that takes the place of your Username when people target you. Your Role is your set of abilities. They may be completely unrelated. Your full player info might look something like this:

    Username: Marushi
    Alias: Rachel
    Character: Ghost of Christmas Past
    ↳ Role: Sees all actions taken by targeted alias the previous night

    It is possible for multiple people to have the same Role &/ Character, but Aliases must be unique to the player.

    Important Terms

    BPV = Bulletproof Vest

    Factional Kill = A Shot That You Submit in PM Every Night

    Who wants to play?

    If you want to play, post here saying you are /in, and send me a PM with your Alias and Character (with the series name so that I can do research if necessary).

    Alias: (The name people will shoot/protect/etc)
    Character: (An existing fictional character (i.e. from a series) or idea (i.e. mythical figure) that will influence your abilities)



    I would like to start probably on August 20th, to get as much of the game underway as possible before anyone starts school stuff. Let me know if this is too soon or not convenient. Changing the date is no problem.

    [​IMG]
    Thread by: Lauriam, Aug 8, 2018, 8 replies, in forum: The Spam Zone
  20. Lauriam
    Thread

    I love you

    It hasn’t even been a full year…

    I know this must come as a shock to you guys. Only yesterday I was still acting like everything was fine. But I’m sorry to say, it’s not. It hasn’t been for awhile now, and I was trying to keep going, trying to stick it out, for my fellow staff members and for all of you guys. But I honestly can’t do this anymore.

    I have no “medium” switch. Everything I do, I give it my all, 100% of the time. Since I joined the staff, 100% of me has belonged to this site. And I don’t regret a day of it. But I’ve been running on empty for a long time, and this particular TWEWY event has been killing me. Since I have no “medium” setting, I dove into this project headfirst. I was trying to do too much, I made it too big. By the time I realized just how much work it needed, by the time I realized I’d made a terrible mistake, it was too late to turn back. I tried to just muscle through it, I convinced myself I could get it done if I just worked hard enough and had enough Red Bull.

    But I’m sorry. It just can’t happen. It’s too big, and I should never have undertaken such a huge project in the first place.

    I’m devastated that all the work I and others have done for it was for nothing… But I’ve barely slept or eaten in the past two weeks trying to make it happen, and even then I’m not able to do nearly as much for the event as I wanted to. I’ve been killing myself trying to make it happen, and Heart’s been killing herself trying to help me.

    In addition to Heart, I want to specifically thank Explode, Arch, Aelin, and Libre. They tried to help us wherever they could, they tried to take on other work so we could focus on this, they helped with graphics and pins and technical work on the event, but with so much work to be done and so little time in which to do it, the project simply fell through and there’s nothing I can do to save it at this point.

    I feel horrible to have got your hopes up for nothing, so I’m gonna leave links at the end of this post and in the initial announcement thread, containing all the Wallpapers I’d made that I intended to give away as “Entry Fee” prizes. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more…

    But you might be wondering why this event is accompanied by my early retirement. Well… Remember that “All-in, 100%” stuff? I’ve been giving my everything to this site since I joined, doing every little thing that was asked of me in an attempt to bring life back to this site. I love this site, I truly do, it’s been a home for me since I joined in 2009, and I’ve made many friends here who I love dearly. When I joined staff last September, it was right around the same time as the, uh, we’ll say “Discord fights,” and also the same time Cat and Plums retired. I joined in an attempt to help the site and do my part to give it the love and attention I felt it deserved. Many of the members, both on and off the staff, were greatly affected by the fights, and I wanted to help them, protect them, and serve them. And I believed that if I worked hard enough, if I believed enough, I could do it. But some things never change, and no matter what I did or what I tried to do, it was never good enough to bring about the good I was trying so hard to create. And only about half of the current staff team was willing to try with me. And I don’t blame any of them - I truly don’t. After everything that happened last year, after everything that’s been going on since even before it all went down, I don’t blame anyone for giving up. I really don’t.

    But since so many have given up, it left the rest of us trying to pick up the pieces. And again, I thought if I worked hard enough, it would inspire others to rise up with me and help. But it’s been ten months now since I became staff, and the harder I try, the more work I try to do for this site… The harder it is on the half of us who are already working. It’s got to the point where whenever I try to do something new for the site, it drives us all into a deeper chasm, and it’s killing us little by little. In other words, the more I do, the worse it gets, and I simply can’t take it anymore.

    Like I said, I truly don’t blame anyone on the staff for this. It’s the situation that’s the enemy, not them. Due to horrible circumstances and a series of terrible events, the staff team has been suffering, and I tried to help them. I really did. But I’m not cut out for this, and the TWEWY event made that all too clear.

    Again, I just want to say I’m sorry. I tried so hard, I wanted to bring about the “Golden Age” of KHV, I wanted us to be big. But I’m just not good enough to make that happen, and I’m sorry.

    I’ll probably be back to hang around after awhile, but I need some time to recuperate from all this. If anyone wants to stay in touch, you can DM me on Discord. I love all of you, I love you all so much and I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more.



    TWEWY Wallpapers
    Thread by: Lauriam, Jul 27, 2018, 2 replies, in forum: Departure Hall