A KHV short long story: A Christmas Murder (Part 4)

Wow well this took a while to wrote. Usually I finish 1 day before I actually finished it. I just finished it 30 minutes ago O_o (I started writting it wednesday >_>)
This one's longer than the others. Probably not as funny as part 3 though lol. READ IT ANYWAY AND COMMENT.


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As the Sistas were running in the hallways, they couldn’t find any trace of DubaiMario.

SA: This makes no sense! We were just on his tail!

Lithium: Where could he be?!

Kitty: Guys look! To find a noob we need to think like a noob…

Sammy:…And ask ourselves “Where would I hide if I was a noob?”!

Mish: Exactly! Nice thinking Big-Lipz. She said as she winked

Sammy: Aww, thanks Mishy.

Sammy leaned over to Mish and gave her a tight hug that could’ve lasted for hours if Kitty didn’t interrupt them.

Kitty: Wait! I got it! Follow me!

Everyone followed Kitty to the living room. Kitty looked around the room, then pointed at the curtains.

Kitty: Ssshh, he’s behind the curtains.

There was obviously someone hiding behind the curtains. There was a ruckus coming from there. And the person’s feet where showing.

Kitty: Aha!!

Kitty opened the curtains only to find crono naked.

Crono: Hey! You’re not Spitfire!

Sammy: Ah! MY EYES! THEY BURN!

Kitty: Le Gasp! GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAYGAYGAY! YOU’RE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!.............

Crono: Come back when you get a sex change! He said as he closed the curtain.

Sammy: Uhm..wrong curtains?

Kitty: No flippin’ way! It’s the curtains over there!

Kitty walked across the room and opened other curtains.

Lithium: Aha! We found you Dubai!

DubaiMario: 0 |\|0 ]-[0W DID U FI|\|D ]\/[3??!1!1?11!!!

DubaiMario with his amazing skills jumped over the Sistas and ran off.

Lithium: Holy black testicals! How did he do that?!

StupidAquarius: Must be those noob skills Repliku was talking about.

Mish: Quick! Offensive maneuver 6-a! Lithium you be or Ned!

Lithium: As always dearie.

All 5 followed Dubai in different paths.

Kitty had eventually caught up with Dubai. As she was about to lose him again, Mish and SA surprised him from the front. They were standing in a 3-way hallway.

Mish: It’s over Dubai!

Dubai: |\|3\/3R11!!1!!1 0]\/[g

He turned around only to see Kitty threatening him with a frying pan.

Kitty: Don’t make me use this!

He turned left in attempt to run away but Sammy surprised him.

Sammy: No way out!

Dubai: T/-\]-[T5 WUt u t]-[I|\|K!!11!

There were no empty paths left, but that didn’t stop Dubai. He jumped over Sammy and while he was in the air Kitty screamed

Kitty: Now Lithium!

Lithium suddenly jumped out of a coincidentally placed closet and collided into Dubai, causing them both to slam on the groud.

Lithium: Haha! We got you! He said as he grabbed Dubai.

StupidAquarius: Quick! Tie him up!

Mish: Bondage?

StupidAquarius: Well I did think that for a split-second but no…

Kitty then ran towards them while shouting her famous war cry.

Kitty: La-la-la-la-la-la!!!

And hit Dubai on the head with the frying pan.

SA: What the hell kitty! That wasn’t necessary!

Sammy: Uhm…Atleast we don’t have to hurry in tying him up now. Let’s go back to the library. By the way Kitty, how did you know Dubai was hiding behind the curtains?

Kitty: Elementary my dear Sammy, Only noobs hide behind curtains.

Mish: Hey, weren’t Spike and Tootsie supposed to follow us?
-----------------------------

Tootsie: Nobody calls me wench and gets away with it!

Tootsie was lifting Spike over her head.

Tootsie: To the bathroom! You’re getting a swirlie!

Spike: Arrrg! Tis mutiny!!

--------------------------------

Soush: Gah! We’ve been waiting for half an hour now! Why did you hit him with a frying pan!

Kitty: Oh shush-up shortie. He’ll wake up soon enough

DubaiMario, unconscious, was tied to a chair.

La Sofa: I don’t get it…What’s wrong with him?

Laurence_Fox: He’s unconscious you twit.

La Sofa: uncon-what? He’s dead?!....Can I poke him?

Darkandroid: Damn…I’m ****ing hungry.

Rosey: Cool it Attila The Hungry…We’ll find something soon…Wait, that might’ve been the most normal thing you’ve said all night DA.

Darkandroid: You know Lisbeth..You’re look mighty tasty today…Can I…take a lick?

Rosey: There it is…

Sammy: Ssssssh, he’s waking up!

Dubai: z0]\/[G WTF ]\/[ I D0I|\|g ]-[3R3

Rosey: What’s even the point of asking him anything, we can’t even understand one syllable!

Repliku: Ah, that’s where you’re wrong. I found out that one of our friends here can translate what Dubai’s saying.

Mish: Who??

Cin: Lol hai Guyz!

SA: What the hell, Cin’s our translator?!

Repliku: Well it’s either him or Kairi Namine.

Kairi Namine: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!

Sammy: *shrugs* Let’s get this over with already. She turned her attention to Dubai. Dubai! Are you the one that killed Rufus and Orange?!

DubaiMario: I ]-[/-\3\/0RZ |\|0 I3D/-\ wUT Ur T0kI|\|G /-\b0UT!!1!! |_0|_

Cin: He says he has no idea what u guyz r talkin about…and lol.

Madi: Why’re you talking like that Cin..?

Cin: Talking lik wut?

Repliku: Ssh…He doesn’t know he talks like that. You see Cin went to Noob-opolis a few years ago to do some research. After he came back he started talking like that. Noob-ish is contagious you know…

Madi: I’m sure it is………

Mish: Kitty…Dubai couldn’t have killed them alone.

Kitty: What do you mean?

Mish: Well Dubai isn’t in many ways what you’d call…smart. He’d be more as a parter. Uhm, well not even that. He’d be more as extremely minor distraction. There’s probably somebody else behind all this.

Kitty: Dubai, who’re you working for?!

DubaiMario: i]\/[ |\|0t W0Rki|\|G F0R /-\|\|Y0|\|31!111!!1

Cin: He sayz he aint working 4 anyone…

Kitty: Spill it! We know someone else is behind the kills!

DubaiMario: |_000K I D0|\|T /-\\/3|\| K|\|0W W]-[0 ]-[/-\ I51!!1!!1 0]\/[G |_0|_

Cin: He sayz he isn’t working 4 anyone.

Kitty: So he won’t talk eh?

SA: Want me to blow him up?

Kitty: Nah, we need him alive. This calls for my super special secret cereal business skill.

Kitty started taking off her clothes. Eventually all she left on were her black leather underwear and bra. Every guy’s jaw (and HigherBeing) dropped in the room; they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Kitty leaned over to DubaiMario, unzipping her bra; Dubai couldn’t help but not drool. Kitty suddenly took out a whip that she hid in her bra.

Goimez: Oh my….

HigherBeing: Wonder if she ever uses those clothes…

Kitty: You will talk! She said as she whip-cracked.

Dubai: i D0|\|t K|\|0W /-\|\|YT]-[i|\|g11!11! WTF |\|00b

Cin: H-he says he doesn’t know anything.

Kitty: Nonsense! Stop making it hard on yourself Dubai! She whip-cracked again. Talk!

Dubai: Y D0|\|T U B|_3I\/3 ]\/[311!!!!!! 0]\/[g i D0|\|T w]-[00RZ I]\/[ w0RKI|\|G F0R1!!!1 0]\/[G Wtf

Cin: Plz don’t hurt meh!!

Kitty: He said that?

Cin: No I’m saying it! He’s asking why you don’t believe him, and that he doesn’t know who he’s working for.

Kitty: How could he not know who he’s working for?!

Dubai: C]-[3K ]\/[/-\]-[P0K3T5!!!1!!1!! 0]\/[G wtF |_0|_

Cin: He’s telling us to check his pockets.

Kitty: Hmmm?

Kitty searched Dubai’s pockets and found a cassette player with an audiotape inside it. She looked at her pals in confusion, rewinded the tape and played it.

A mysterious, deep, disguised voice was coming from the cassette.

Audiotape: Hello Dubai, I’d like to propose an offer you can’t refuse. All your life you’ve been a noob, always new at everything, not learning from your mistakes. Eventually you wandered off from your noob village, ignoring your leaders. You just didn’t want to migrate with colonies of noobs. But now you want to go back don’t you? Well I’d like to play a little game then. There are people heading to a nearby mansion soon who....need to be taught a lesson. You’ll be hearing from me soon, my underlings will contact you when they can.

The tape ended

Rat: What the **** was that?!

Split: Looks like somebody really is out to get us….

Jordie: Wow…

Kitty: So noobs have colonies now?

Repliku: Well yes, noobs who convert religions, which their original religion is the 1337 religion, tend to migrate out of their hometown. They migrate in waves, usually on weekends. These colonies convert into spammer. Not commercial spammers, but pointless spammers. A noob can become one of these at any point, but the larger the amount of noobs, the more chance pointless spammers will appear. It’s pretty contagious in the noob race.

Mish: That’s pretty fascinating. Thank goodness I’m not a blonde anymore, or I wouldn’t have understood a word you said.

Sammy: I didn’t understand anything…

Mish: Well that’s obvious.

Cocohints: We’re so damn dead! We can’t fight this! No one can! We’re just helpless people stuck in a mansion with psychos!

Kitty: Ok focus guys!

DPWolf: Rawr! What about Dubai.

Kitty: Aye, him…Well we have to let him go. He was pretty much forced against his will.

Kitty apologized to Dubai and untied him.

Kitty: Go on now..You’re free! You just stay put and hide. We’ll find a way out of here sooner or later.

Dubai slowly walked away, fearing anyone that nears him.

Sammy: Hmm…

Kitty: What?

Sammy: Nothing..It’s just that..Whatever happened to RvR and Vivi?

Kitty:…uh-oh.

Vivi: LOOK! THERE’S DUBAI!

RvR: GET HIM!!!

Vivi jumped on Dubai and started beating him with his fists.

Vivi: TCO! Hand me that baseball bat!

Kitty: Wait Vivi stop!

Vivi: DIE YOU DOG! You’ll pay for what you did to Rufus and Orange!!

The baseball bat eventually broke.

Vivi: Goddamnit TCO!! You gave me a bad baseball!

Dubai: 0]\/[FG I]\/[ RU|\|I|\|g 0UT/-\ ]-[3R3

Vivi: Oh shi--…He’s running away!

RvR: Here! Take this Frisbee I found!

Vivi threw the Frisbee at Dubai. He missed Dubai, but he hit the ceiling fan. The fan fell off and coincidentally hit Dubai. Dubai swirled around the room, fell on one of the bookcases, and the bookcase fell on Dubai and gruesomely killed him.

Vivi: OWNED! ****ING OWNED! DID YOU SEE THAT?! DID YOU SEE IT?!

RvR: That was so awesome! Have no fear, Riot Police is here! He won’t be bothering anyone ever again.

Everyone:…..

Vivi: What?

Madi: Well, turns out Dubai wasn’t the one who killed Rufus and Orange…

Vivi: Oh….Well…He still won’t bother anyone ever again.

Split examined the way Dubai died, and started thinking.

Darky: What? You gonna CnC his death?

Split: No..This was a totally perfect death.

Darky:…Well that’s a change..

Jordie: You know I’ve heard of this kind of killer before. I’ve heard about this person on the news!

Laurence_Fox: You sure about that?

Jordie: Yeah yeah! Apparently he or she captures his victims, and makes them play twisted games, contacting them by audio tapes. I think he’s called the famous SeaSaw killer….or something like that. Like a few months ago he--…

-------A few months ago--------------

Hissora was trapped in a room all by herself, she had eventually found a recorder with a tape inside it. The same deep mysterious voice played.

Audiotape: Hello Hissora, all you’re life you’ve been blaming others guys you’ve dated to be homosexual just because they weren’t good enough for you. And you’ve left those guys scarred and made them lose hope. Now there’s one way that you can redeem yourself. In front of you is a box, in that box is a note that predicts the exact future. The game is to see if you can handle what the note says, when you open the box and read the note, I’ll open the door 5 minutes later. Do you have the will to survive knowing a horrible truth? Shall you have salvation? Let the games begin.

Hissora ran towards the box, opened it, grabbed the note, and read the note in horror.

Hissora: “Christmas is canceled this year”…What?! No….no! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hissora had eventually lost her breath and died.

------------Present----------------

Laurence_Fox: That’s indeed really barbaric and twisted!

Split: eeeh, Kitty...Do you think Forsaken did this?

Kitty: Forsaken? Why him?

Split: Uhm, well he was the one that invited us; he knows this mansion better than anyone….It’s a classic scenario.

Madi: Heey! He’s got a point!

Libregkd: I’d hate to agree, but Split’s actually right.

Kitty: You know I never thought of that…

Risk: Man…This guy’s like a frikin’ Nazi..

Laurence_Fox: What do you mean by that?! Schrauben Sie Sie! Lang lebe Deutschland! Lang lebe Hitler!!

Madi: Cool it Fox…

Laurence_Fox: Wow..Sorry about that. It’s just my German heritage.

Soku: So let’s get Forsaken!

Rosey: It’s not that simple…We don’t even know where his room is, let alone where he actually is.

Mish: So we go on a search, but all go together! We know what happens when all of us are alone. She said as she glared at kitty

Kitty: Hey how was I supposed to know someone would eat orange!

Mish: Anyway, do we have any weapons available?

Cocohints: Uhm..What do we need?

Mish: Well for this kind of operation we’ll need a bunch of AK-47s , some M16s, Sniper rifles, handguns

SA: Oh! We’d need explosives too! I love bombs!

Mish: Yeah yeah! Some grenade lauchers, normal grenades, detonators, smoke grenades, SMGs, 12 Gauge automatic Shotguns, some MK12s and a bit of flas---

Cocohints: We have sharp-sticks and some forks.

Mish:….Yeah that’ll do fine too.

Laurence_Fox: Ok, it’s time to get dangerous!

Rat: Trying to make the environment more exiting?

Laurence_Fox: Hehe..yeah. Is it working?

Rat: Well yeah kinda.

Kitty: Let’s just head out already.

DPWolf: How about you put your clothes on first Kitty?

Kitty: Oh yeah that.

Every guy in the room (And Higherbeing) went “awwwwwwwwwwwwww”

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Everyone headed to find Forsaken’s room, or any trace of Forsaken himself., as they were all 1 group.

Laurence_Fox: Wait, where’s that music coming from?

Madi: It’s coming from that room!

Laurence_Fox opened the door, and saw La Sofa and GX singing

GX: Four, tres, two, uno!

La Sofa: Listen up ya'll, cause this is it
The beat that I'm banging is de-li-cious
Sofalicious definition make them girls go loco
They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo
You can see me, you can't squeeze me
I ain't easy, I ain't sleazy
I got reasons why I tease 'em
Girls just sit on me and go like seasons

GX: You’re Sofalicious!

La Sofa:But I ain't promiscuous
And if you were suspicious
All that **** is fictitious
I blow kisses.
That puts them girls on rock rock
And they be lining down the block just to watch what I got

GX: You’re Sofalicious!

La Sofa: I'm the S to the O, F to the A! I’m Sofali---

Laurence, disgusted at what she was seeing, slammed the door.

Laurence_Fox: That’s sick and wrong in so many ways!

Mish: By the way, what ever happened to Spike and Tootsie?

Jordie: Uh…well…
-------------------------

Tootsie and Spike were both in the bathroom. Tootsie was holding Spike upside down, while his head was over the toilet bowl.

Tootsie: Say you’re sorry!

Spike: Har! Never you sea wench!

Tootsie shoved his head deeper in the toilet and flushed it.

Spike: Aahh- *Glo-*. St-*glo*-op. *glo* Please!

Tootsie took out his head

Tootsie: Read to say sorry now?

Spike: I PROMISE YE! I’ll make you walk the plank when this is over!

Tootsie: I didn’t hear a sorry in that…Oh well!

She shoved his head in the toilet again and flushed.
----------------------------

Sammy: Let’s get moving again, we don’t want any distractions

5 minutes later.

Cocohints: Hey..do you hear that?

Mish: Uhm…No?

Cocohints: Exatly!

Mish: …okay?

Cocohints: Look I’m just pointing out that it’s quiet…….too quiet.

Raito: Wait, what’s that over there on the floor?

TCO: Looks like a basket…

Vivi: What’s a basket doing in the ****ing middle of a hallway.

Risk went over to check out the basket.

Risk: Hey! There’s a cookie in here!

JellyBeing: OMG FOOD! GIMME!

Risk: No it’s mine! I found it! Risk grabbed the cookie.

Rosey: Wait a second…a cookie and a basket? ****! Risk let go of that cookie!

But before Risk even heard Rosey, the cookie blew up in his face.

Vivi: Oh ****!

SA: Oooh…pretty bomb.

Sammy rushed over to Risks’ body and examined it

Sammy: He’s dead…

Jube: No **** Sherlock!

Kitty: Hey I’m the Sherlock here!

Jube: Then tell us what the hell happened!

Shadow: Wait what’s that noise…

A weird rumbling sound was echoing through the hallway.

Shadow: It’s coming from this wall… He put his ear against the wall trying to make out what the noise is.

Suddenly, the wall blew up.

Soku: **** not again!

Shadow fell on the floor screaming, Sammy rushed over to Shadow.

Sammy: It’ll be ok Shadow!

Shadow: Ugh..He grabbed Sammy’s shirt. I’ll live on through the force…He then let go of her and died.

Sammy: Wow….

SA: This is so damn sad!

Sammy: No that’s not it…I’ve just never seen such a cheesy way of dying.

While the smoke was still covering the room and people were still panicking, somebody walked through the hole in the wall.

Sammy: Who…who are you?!

CatchTheRain: Ooooh Snookums!! COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!

Vivi: ****! ****! HOLY ****! I’M OUTTA HERE!

Jordie: Oh my god! You did this CtR?!

CatchTheRain: Hhhmmmm?! Get away from me! She pushed Jordie aside into a table, knocking her out unconscious.

Sammy: You! You killed Rufus and the others! You’ll pay for this! Sammy went closer to CtR and punched her as hard as she could on the chest. But CtR didn’t feel a thing.

Sammy: What the hell?! Usually my punches send my enemies flying!

CtR: Fool! You can’t hurt me! I have protective cookies under my shirt! You can’t break their sweet crunchiness!!

CtR punched Sammy back, and sent her flying. Mish and SA caught Sammy before she hit the wall.

CtR: Now, where is he!? Where’s Snookums?!

Sora 13: Who the hell is snookums?!

CtR: Don’t play dumb with me! Now, are you gonna tell me, or should I use my explosive cookies on you?! She took out cookies from her pockets. You’ve got 5 seconds to comply!

Mish: Quick, Sistas! Evasive maneuver 3-c!…RUN AND SCREAM LIKE LITTLE GIRLS!

Lithium: EEEEEEEEEK!

Sora 13 and a couple of other people grabbed Jordie and ran away. Everyone had separated into groups.

CtR: Running away is futile!!

The Sistas had eventually reached a dead end.

Vivi suddenly came out of a door that matched the colour of the wall, making it quite hard to even notice it.

Vivi: Quick in here!

After the Sistas entered the room Vivi locked the door behind him.

Vivi: That ***** is crazy!!

Kitty: Wait CtR couldn’t have been the one that killed Rufus and Orange. She went crazy when Vivi didn’t hug her…

Sammy: What the hell Vivi! Why didn’t you hug her when you did!

Vivi: I never hug people so sue me!

Kitty: Well she wants you! I say we throw you out!

SA: Uhm…Guys….

Vivi: Hell no! I aint going out there!

SA: GUYS!

Mish: What?!

SA: Look!

There was someone sitting on a chair, while his head was resting on the desk.

Kitty: Wait…It’s Forsaken! Poo poo head!

Mish: Heh, sleeping as always.

Sammy: Wait something’s wrong…

She ran towards Forsaken and checked his pulse.

Sammy:…He’s dead…

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OMG no flippin' way I'm dead 8D

 

OMG FORSAKEN.

YOU WIN.


lololol teh sistahs stuff.

OMG and Forsaken you killed yourself.

Kitty is hilarious, I love the stuff you make her do.
​

 

Holy **** you're a fast reader XD

 

lol cereal busyness(sp?)
meh didn't laugh as much as in part 3 :3
but very nice forsaken dear ^^

 

CtR's scary when armed with cookies.. o:

Very nice part, that's 5 deaths in one update! Dubai, Hissora (though not in the present), Risk, Shadow, you..

WE'LL GET FAR WITH FORKS! STABBY!! >:3

 

I do randomly start spouting German. xD

>>; Though I have yet to say 'Long love Hitler'.

Long live Germany I have said.

 

yeah LONG LIVE GERMANY!!

 

Well yeah like I said this part isn't as good as part 4 xD

Well there's like 50 people in this story xD I had to cut down the list somehow.

It's all part of your german genes ;D

 

I have a feeling kairinamine will be one of the survivors near the end..

:x

 

4 minutes...It's not THAT long.
​

 

OOC: the black testicles part seemed unnecessary...but other then that nice job,how long did it take for you to make it?

 

Aww crap, now I have that demonic woman chasing me.

OoC there was once a basket in the middle of my hall, I said what i said in the story exactly xD.

 

OOC can i join ? *cough* j/k

 

...(and HigherBeing).. XD

I love this story.. o: What a mystery.

Also.. SAMMY CAUGHT SAMMY?

 

I lol'd too.

 

'CtR punched Sammy back, and sent her flying. Sammy and SA caught Sammy before she hit the wall.'

~~~
Sammy obvisiously has awesome super powers that allow her to be in two places at one time.
XD

 

-__-;;

I'll have to tear my clothes off for you if i ever meet you.



Nice chapter. We, the Sistah's rock the house and so much more. ;D

 

....Kinky.

 

Is this an rpg or something? Cause it sure sounds like one.

 

it's a story he's writing about the members <.<;