Disagreements

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Amaury, Jul 15, 2013.

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  1. Amaury Legendary Hero

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    So shortly before my return from my one-week break here, I was emotionally hurt by a friend in real life. Now that I'm not really hurt anymore, I thought I'd sort of vent, if that's the appropriate term, and see what people think. (I'm not really upset or hurt anymore, so it's not really anger, but it's the only term I could think of.)

    My friend came over to hang out on Wednesday around 2:45 PM. At around 8:20 PM, my mom had asked me to let Maggie, our dog, out again (she previously asked me a while before that). My friend said it sounded desperate, to which I replied with, "Too bad!" with a sort of attitude. Maggie had previously gone out and went to the bathroom, and she always plays these games with us -- my mom and I -- where she wants outside just about every 5-10 minutes. She gets treats for coming in, so I think that's the reason; sometimes, until she can't hold it in anymore, she'll keep wanting outside until finally going to the bathroom. Anyway, my friend got up all of a sudden at that moment and said he had to go.

    On the way back to his place he was very quiet. I finally gathered the courage to ask if he was okay when we were like a few minutes away from his place; here's how it went:

    • Me: Are you okay?
    • Friend: I'm fine.
    • Me: You don't sound fine.
    • Friend: I'm just a little upset at the fact that you care more about a show (we were watching Figure It Out) than taking care of your dog's needs.
    • Me: It's not that I think the show's more important than her, it's that she wants outside every five minutes!
    • Friend: Dogs need to go the bathroom. And maybe she just wants to get exercise.
    • Me: I just don't understand why it's your problem. It's not your dog.
    • Friend: Because I like dogs.
    • Me: Well, so do I, but... I get where you're coming here, really, but...
    • Friend: Mm-hmm.

    That last part of it was in a sarcastic manner -- he was basically calling me a liar. Also, these aren't exact quotes, and I may be missing things, but that gives you the gist of it.

    Anyway, I talked to my mom about it afterward, and she found his behavior quite rude. I should be able to say what I want in my own home within reason when a friend's over. Plus, we've been friends since elementary, so if he doesn't know what I'm like by now, then he doesn't know me. Even my mom said that she knew I didn't mean "too bad" the way I made it imply. I could understand if I had been denying her food or water, but I simply said "Too bad" in regards to her wanting outside.

    Even though he pretty much brushed it off, I both explained where I was coming from with the comment and saw where he was coming from with his comment. However, it was obvious that he would not see where I was coming from. When we got to his apartment, we told each other to have a good night and he walked away annoyed. I don't care about his reasons for leaving, I care about his attitude and the way he treated me.

    I know he'll get over it, as we've had two somewhat major disputes before, the last one being when we were about 15, but this one just hurt me. My mom had never seen me so upset over something -- I was still upset until I went to my GED class the next morning.

    I'm kind of waiting until the end of the month to even contact him again.
     
  2. 61 No. B

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    I wouldn't do that.

    From what I read it sounds like he just didn't understand, not that he was being rude at all. I would just call this water under the bridge and move on before it becomes something it doesn't need to. I've known one of my friends for as long as I can remember and he seems to be similar to your friend in that he sometimes can't tell when I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not going to say it's his fault or that he doesn't know me, I just explain and move on.

    At the risk of sounding a little crass, both of you need to just get over it and move on - it's not a big deal. This whole situation isn't something worth damaging the friendship over.
     
  3. Amaury Legendary Hero

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    I'm pretty much over it myself. It's him I'm worried about.

    I don't want to say too much because he is indeed a good friend, and I know this will pass. However, he seems to be one of those heavily opinionated and superior people in the sense that he's always "right." For example, and we've gotten into this before in The Spam Zone, I like a lot of shows he doesn't like, such as Good Luck Charlie (Disney Channel) and Supah Ninjas (Nickelodeon), and he will just sit there and heavily critique them.

    Quite a while ago on one of his visits, we were watching House of Anubis (Teen Nick), and he was criticizing it because they were doing a lot of saying and not doing -- like instead of just taking something from someone evil, they say something like, "Okay, we need to take that."
     
  4. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    I find opinionated people hard to get on with some of the time but it's just how they are. I suggest clearing this out with him if he didn't understand but don't leave it unless he is one of those people who forgets you had a fight after a good night sleep. Of course, it's always good to sort such situations out as they will bubble and sit uncomfortably in the relationship until sorted.
     
  5. Amaury Legendary Hero

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    So he hung out yesterday after I contacted him Sunday afternoon to see if he was available any days this week, and it's like it never happened, which is good.

    I guess this can be locked now. Also, Below, Ienzo, thank you... :)
     
  6. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    Alright, glad to see you two made up!

    ~Locked on request. Any questions, feel free to message me.
     
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