...Help? D :

I have two options that my parents gave me.

1. Go to bed early.

2. Spend some quality time with them. Which they now define as watching Twilight with them.

OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED AT 7 BUT OH HOLY ****a

 

Oh wow ouch D: pretty tough choices dude.

Go to bed, go to bed and pray for morning to come fast.

 

But I don't wanna go to bed at 7. D:

But I don't wanna watch the movie either. Dx

 

Go to 'bed' but don't really go to 'bed'.

If you catch my drift. :P

 

They've been catching on that I do that. They will probably be checking.

 

oh lol, parents walking in :v

 

Watch twilight n' talk durin' the whole film makin' daft comments.

 

Tell them you have a fear of vampires.

 

That sh*t sucks D:

This is a good one, I'll go with this.

They know I don't.

 

Then... pretend to get aroused by them.

 

That's actually doable, but the main vampire is a guy, and I don't want my parents thinking I'm gay.

 

Then get aroused by something else in the movie.

 

Off yourself.

 

You've been caught? You sir are an amateur at the art of fapping.

 

Long time ago, man.

Now, I'm going to watch Twilight. I will bump this thread upon my return, so that you can flood it with incredibly happy and cute things to prevent me killing myself.

 

S U I C I D El.

 

watch the blond vamp
rowrish

 

Fake a heart attack on movie night.

 

KILL YOURSELF!:l

 

Alright this is what you do. Agree to watch Twilight with your parents and sit down for a while, maybe a good half-hour or so that their guard will go down. Then get up acting like you're getting yourself a drink, but instead take the tube out of the paper towels *you'll see what we do with this later*, then take a stick of celery and hide it in your pocket.

Return to the couch and dependent on whoever looks like the stronger parent *usually it's the father unless he's a total pussy then the mom*, and stab that person with the celery stick. Now while you are stabbing I recommend going for the throat since it's cooler. Now the other person should be shitting themselves screaming so you stuff the paper towel tube in their mouth to shut them up *if you rolled it into a ball they should lose oxygen and pass out, this will make a great hostage if the neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops*.

Now you have the house to yourself and you can do whatever you want. I'd recommend finishing the Twilight movie then going on the internet and bash the **** out of it for sucking *if you were pleasantly surprised and liked the movie then bash it anyway, this is called 'trolling' and you'll only be cool on the internet if you become a master of trolling*.

Now all that's left is cleaning up the bodies since they will start to smell since when a person dies they **** their pants *this is true, it happend on South Park*. There are many ways to dispose of the bodies. You could either flush small chunks down the toilet but this may be time consuming and might clog the pipes and now you'll have smelly bodies and piss everywhere. You could eat them *I recommend putting them in the oven on HIGH for around 30 minutes with a little seasoning on it, ****ing delicious* or yuo can do the last option which is my favorite. To do this one you'll have to wait for garbage day when the dumpster comes to pick up the trash, well before they arrive place the bodies in a neighbor's trash container so that way it'll be major lulz when the garbage men see this *I recommend not using a neighbor's garbage who is closer than a block from your house. You want it as far as possible, but not far enough that you can get back home from giggling at the garbage men's face and post pics on the internet*