My Love

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Very Berry, May 23, 2008.

  1. Very Berry Gummi Ship Junkie

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Location:
    In a house i hope
    6
    312
    I love you like I’ve never loved before.
    Being alone and upset my heart it tore.
    Now you’re by my side, someone who is mine.
    Your sweet words make everything seem fine.
    When I’m sad you’re there to give me a hug, maybe even a kiss.
    At night your presence I dearly miss.
    I don’t want this moment to ever end.
    Together, you and me, because my heart you did mend.
    I want our few minutes together to turn into hours or days.
    When I’m alone my heart for you it prays.
    With you next to me I see the world with different eyes.
    Between us there is no madness, or sorrow not even lies.
    You are the sun that shines my life.
    Without you in my life in my heart there is a knife.
    I’m glad you came into my life because you’ve turned it upside down.
    When I’m with you I feel like I’m wearing a crown.
    I am the princess and you are my charming prince.
    Please stay with me because life has been a blast ever since.​


    i wrote this part of yesterday and today once again it is cheezy but cute so CnC please
     
  2. Ratchet Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong!

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2006
    Location:
    Cybertron
    53
    Nicely rhymed and well balanced, but I'm not sure about each line being a separate sentence though. The content is good and overall it is excellent.
     
  3. Luisdabeaner Moogle Assistant

    Joined:
    May 21, 2008
    1
    7
    No Matter

    NO MATTTER HOW MANY TIMES I HEAR IT OR READ IT I STILL GET DA WARM FEELING OF DA FIRST TIME I HEARD IT :luv:
     
  4. Very Berry Gummi Ship Junkie

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Location:
    In a house i hope
    6
    312
    thanks i'll look over the line structure

    awwww ur too sweet for your own good sometimes but i love you and i'm glad yo liked the poem
     
  5. Sabby Sleepy Panda Assassin

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2006
    Location:
    in your hearts
    446
    AWwwww Very Berry this is sooooooo cute ^^ I loved it
     
  6. krayzie Ruthless Villain

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2008
    Location:
    gozando en la habana
    42
    it was really good
    ur good at rhymming
     
  7. Aura Goddess

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2008
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Safest Haven
    193
    Wow.That was impressive.I loved it.You're really good at rhyming.Good job.
     
  8. Tora-chan Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    May 6, 2008
    16
    164
    That was great. Warm emotional and sweet. ^.^
     
  9. Luisdabeaner Moogle Assistant

    Joined:
    May 21, 2008
    1
    7
    y wouldnt i like it was made for me right