Okay, guys, I need a favor.

In twenty years, I hope to be at least twelve years married with a child about the turn five. On Rory (or Idaia)'s birthday, I will require at least three people to dress up as velociraptors and attack my wife and child in yet to be determined public place, probably a park. After a minute or so, I will come in like a big damn hero and "kill" you all with some fake guns. After this, you'll all take off your masks and shout, "Happy fifth birthday, Rory/Idaia!" Then we'll sit down at a table with some cake and hand out presents and such.

Who's in?

 

Hmmmm

*inserts coin*

I'm in.

 

Did someone say cake?

Count me in!

 

This plan is bad and you should feel bad.

 

Cake, Velociraptors costumes, fake guns... No matter if you do or do not not want me here, I'm here to stay. I'm in, now where is my costume.

 

that is really weird

 

Really? How could having dinosaurs attack my family possibly go wrong?

You'll have to acquire it on your own.

Which is why it'll be the perfect birthday party for my child.

 

Again, Will you ever cease to amaze me?
At to costume, I already have one (don't ask, just know it involved a plunger-shaped ladle and a fake Christal skull)

 

There are several reasons but the most prominent problem with all this is that you're planning out something 20 years in the future that depends on a bunch of factors that are out of your control presently. If you were planning this for next year for a kid and wife that already existed, I'd firstly be surprised that you went from awkwardly asking some girl out to having a kid in less than a week, but more importantly I'd think this whole scenario was a possibility.

Also, do you really expect to want to still do this as a 30-something adult?

 

Have you taken into consideration that this might scar the kid for life?



oooh look cake

 

A group of near 40-year olds attacking a small child and his mother. THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY GO WRONG.

(Question, are you going to let your wife in on the plan? I don't want to be smacked over the head with a purse or something.)

 

Yes, It was done to me at that age, and then I did it to my niece.
We ended with me screaming loud enough to attract the police, and her socking all of the dino's in the gut.
It was real that day.

 

:Stranger things have happened.

Probably not, but this how MOST of the things I plan excessively in advance turn out. I have an AWESOME idea, I get support, other people start liking it and wanting to help, then I get stuck on the finer points, decide it's too much work, and end up not doing it. A smaller scale example would be every single fanfic I've ever written about anything ever.

I KNOW, RIGHT? THIS'LL BE AWESOME!

(Probably, but I'm still going to let her be surprised by it. Just stay in the back and make dinosaur noises if you're scared of getting hurt.)

 

In the universe where romcoms are real perhaps.

 

What if your kid doesn't like dinosaurs?

 

As it says in your signature~

 

Think of a better prank first.

Though I wouldn't be opposed to scaring some kids.