Sex before marriage?

I'm not sure if this is an appropriate topic for this site, but I'm going ahead with it anyways. Mods, just erase the topic if it isn't.

Anyways, I've always believed in sex before marriage. why? well, to begin, i'm not religious so that is not "holding me back." but secondly, and most importantly, i believe that in order to romantically "love" someone, you should establish a physical relationship, one that includes sex. a big part of the success of a relationship, in my opinion, is that aspect of a relationship, and thus it should be founded before marriage to ensure that you really do love this person on all levels. sexual frustration can lead to many stress problems, ruining a relationship, and so it is important to know how you and your significant other perform in this area.

anyways, for that sake of being appropriate, im going to stop.

so, what are your opinions?

 

being christian i would have to say no.
but i also say no because i respect my body and my body deserves to be respected.
i have strong morals. sooo no sex before marriage for me!! woot.

 

Well, i'm "religious" as you say, so i do shun sex before marriage. Sex is an act that siginifies the unity of two people. Without marriage, there is no commitment (ok, no real commitment) because there is nothing keeping your partner from being with someone else. I dont know too many people that say they love each other, have sex outside of wedlock, and stay together. If youre willing to give yourself to someone, truly, 100% then why wouldnt you be willing to marry them? People confuse me too much. I believe that saving your virginity for your husband (or wife) makes loving that much more special for the both of you.

 

My morals say no. And I have to say that if sex is the most important part of your relationship, they are going to be very difficult. There has to be more than that. Sex, is essentially a form of reproduction. The form for most mammals.

For a relationship to last takes more than understanding and "love"... a lot more. There is the maturity factor, many people are much to immature to take in the gravity of the act of sexual intercourse. It saddens me to see such a sacred act to me being minimized into something "to do" with your romantic partner.

To me having sex with a boyfriend or girlfriend... I can't understand it.

Yes, I am quite religious and to me sex is a very sacred. It is, as I said before a form of reproduction, but also the gift God gives us to share with our husband/wife only. I don't believe that not having sex before marriage ruins it. Actually, in my observations, most marriages that I have seen break up were ones in which the couples were sexually active before marriage. Sexual frustrations can be caused because the couple has had experience with other people and they end up comparing eachother to past partners.

 

good job, Claryssa. you were able to put into words what i couldnt.

 

I'm a christian, so I agree with you.
I also think that if you want to show someone you love them, you don't need to have sex. There are lots of other ways to show your affection.

 

me = christian
and i agree w/ rena and claryssa

 

I hate organized religions and think that sex before marriage is fine. I don't want to wait another 10 years to have sex. Sounds like a boring way to live.

Also, this topic is fine, just don't get into weird sex moves and stuff like that.

 

seriosly, i wouldn't be able to wait for another few years... im in 9th grade and i have "the Urge" every day. I respect that people are just going by their religion or something but i think that they really want to do it but they would just get whiped by their father or something if they do it.

 

Omg me too it's so annoying. But I agree with you here.

That also might happen.


O_o

 

no i don't believe it's ok cuz i think it's an act of stupidity and ignorance. sex before marriage can lead to many difficulties. personally, i think more of my body and i don't think i would ever do anything as stupid as that

 

It's not stupid to have sex. It's someone's decision, and if they wanna do it then they can. You say it like it is some sort of horrible thing that is causing all the world's problems. If you want my opinion, religion is causing world problems, and religion shouldn't stop people from having sex, especially if that's not what they truly believe.

 

a little off topic, religion is not causing world problems, its what people have twisted it into. using it to satisfy their own wants. saying their doing something for God, just because they think its a reason no one will argue against or question. back on topic, sex is stupid if not performed in the appropriate manner (wedlock). thats my belief.

 

Religion is a huge part in sex before marriage, actually, and not off-topic when related. Some religions believe that you can have many wives, some thinkt hat you shouldn't have sex before marriage, and some even believe you should never have sex. I think that it should be up to each individual on what they want to do. Some religions are forced upon people just because of their heritage, and they can;t have sex until they're married. Unless it's what you truly believe you should not let your religion stand in the way of that.

Sex before marriage is fine. Everyone knows that condoms only work 98% of the time, and birth control pills only 99% of the time, but if people want to take that risk then they should. Most marriages end in divorce anyway, so waiting till then is just as effective as never having sex, as more than 50% of marriages never make it through to death.

I'm not a person who doesn't believe in love, but I don't think love should be the only factor in deciding when to have sex or not.

Also, people should say how old they are in this thread. That way we'll know if we're talking to a little 12 year old who has no clue what they're talking about.

I'm 14.

 

if i do sound childish, im sorry. but im 18 and very rooted into christianity (not because of my parents or anyone else but of my own accord).

i hate the word religion. it makes people's beliefs seem like nothing more than another watercooler topic. and what you were saying about how different religions support different opinions about sex/marriage only supports my belief of manipulation. i am a christian (i dont like just saying christian cuz its more than a title, but that would be completely off topic). i dont believe that any other religion is the absolute truth, if any truth at all (not to put anyone down). so when people say its okay to have multiple wives or its wrong to have sex period, i disagree. i dont choose to stay abstinent until marriage just because the Bible says its wrong, i choose it because i believe it is right and the Bible makes that belief even stronger for me. sex isnt evil or wrong. but it can be when its abused.

 

*checks in on thread*
Well, well, well. Go Rena, I find it great you can defend your case well.
Before I begin, I am 18 as well.
Roxas, as a 14 year old, I must say that I ordinarily would completely discount your opinion on this matter almost immediatly, but I will take it into account for the sake of argument. I am christian, I do not classify myself as anything but. If anything I am non-denominational. I do not believe that any one religion is the ultimate truth. I believe that all religions that believe in a monotheistic being are just different ways to the same God. That is just me however. For me, I will give my opinion based on actual experience. I have seen lives destroyed, and people torn apart and completely changed because of choosing sex before marriage. It destroys a relationship to have such a powerful bondng experience without any form of real commitment and tears that relationship apart. It ruins any form of love that could have been had by those two, because they begin to mistrust one another.
Second, to say something so stupid as love should not be a factor in choosing when to have sex shows me how ignorant you are Roxas. Sex is ABOUT love, so how could love not be a factor? people have twisted the very definition of sex to satisfy their own sick ends, and our world grows ever more perverted because of it.
You want to know the clincher on all of this? I am not a virgin. I have had sex, but it was starting to ruin mine and my girlfriends relationship, and we have chosen to stop. I have been with her for nearly 2 years now, and I do not regret my actions. I do however know how badly things could have turned out, as they were drifitng there. To be so ignorant of something so sacred makes me very angry, and I am right now controlling myself. I don't know if I should write more, because I am filling a very strong urge to be mean, and that is not what this thread is about. I have labeled my opinions, laid out a secret of mine, and given my point. It is now your choice whether to listen to it or not.

 

i agree with u!!

 

You say it as if being under the legal age should discount people's opinions on sex. People all around me are having sex (at least where I live), and you think that my opinion on sex doesn't matter? Sounds a little biased to me.

That's a good opinion to have. I'm glad that you are open to the views of other religions.

I completely agree with you here. The average length of a relationship after having sex is 3 weeks, and that is a proven statistic. Sex destroys many people's lives.

But this is also a stretched statistic. Most sex-related relationship destroyers (or w/e) are done under the influence of alcohol. Many couple swear off sex, but a little bit of alcohol awakens them into a new person. Alcohol is a huge factor in sex and in having sex. Sex doesn't necessarily ruin people's lives - the choices that people make ruin people's lives.

Oh, yeah, right, like love isn't a factor. LOVE IS A FACTOR. But these days sex is treated as something used for lust and adventure. I never said love wasn't a statistic, but a lot of sex these days isn't about love. It's just the society that we live in.

That's not to say there aren't people that have sex for love. Most highschoolers have sex because they think it's cool. That's there choice to 'be cool', but sex doesn't make you cool.

...That happens to most people... At least who manage to keep the relationship going.

Then you made the right decision for your relationship.

I have never had sex, and probably never will till I'm married. I do want to have sex and I do want to get married. I don't want to get STIs or have an unplanned pregnancy.

I said that I also feel 'the urge' to have sex. That's something that many people go through (especially boys). I'm sure you can relate to when you were in your preteen years.

If I had the choice to have sex before marriage... it would completely depend on the situation. If I had a clear head at the time then I'd probably say "no." Outside influence including alcohol would most likely make anyone say "yes."

I'm not saying I want to go out and be all like "Love is stupid, everyone have sex because it's awesome!" But I also think that sex before marriage is fine.

It's that person's decision. Maybe not mine, or yours, or hers, or his, but I think that if a person wants to put everything on the line like that then they should be allowed to.

 

I think sex before marrige is fine. Where I live, there are no christians so no one is religious. If you were to say 'don't have sex before marrige' here you would get called a weirdo :] I want to wait until I have the right girl, since too many people around here have sex for the sake of it because they think it makes them a man. I don't want to use a girl, I want one I love, then when I'm ready I will :o

 

*Calms down*
Firstly, I must congragulate you, you are smarter than I initially gave you credit for, as what you said lead me to believe differntly, so le me now address some of the things you said.

No not under the legal age, but as someone to young to fully comprehend the extensiveness of sex. You are mature for your age, and thusly I apologize for mocking you. Most kids your age have an ideollagy of sex that is completely false. I will try not to hold a biase anymore, but the strong majority of kids your age truly do not understand what they are getting themselves into.

This is the comment that initially set me off, and the reason I brought love into the issue. Love should be the only factor. If you do not love someone, you should not have sex with them. this thread wasn't asking the question are people free to do it, it is asking should they. I do not believe they should. It is their right if they choose to do it, but I do not believe it is ever a smart choice to have sex without love as the sole factor motivating it.

So don't ****ing drink. If you know it will lead to a bad choice, then why do it? Again, this is about what should happen, not what does, so don't say I'm being stupid for saying this. I am 18, and I have NEVER drank, I have NEVER done drugs, and I do this because I don't want to do something that will affect the rest of my life while under the influence of something. If anything happens, it willbe my choice and my choice alone.

My arguement was never based around telling people that they can't, but that they shouldn't. I can't stop you from going out and having sex with someone you don't love (and I'm not talking about you particularily, I'm using it as a broad term), but I can say why you shouldn't.
That is all the argument I have for you Roxas. Again, sorry for discounting your opinion, and please understand where I am coming from as well.

While I agree with you that sexual frustrations are something that can hinder a marriage, a marriage should not be based off of sex. Love goes beyond sex. PLus there are ways to discover whether or not you are compatible with a person in a sexual way without having sex. Talk to them about what they envsion sex to be like, and what they think you will be like.