Okay, Just a quick preface and forewarning. If you're prejudiced with this subject and/or bear negative views on it, then please do me a favour and click the little back button you see on the top-left of your screen. I would prefer it if I didn't get unjustly bashed because of what I'm about to say. kthxbai. Anyway. A couple of days ago, I revealed to my friend that I was Bi. I did this in a wierd way, we were playing a game that was sort've similar to truth or dare. I could have lied to her, but I felt that it was an okay time to say it(I knew that I was bisexual for about a year and a half and wasn't really in denial anymore), plus I've never really lied to her before and she hasn't lied to me either, so it wouldn't have necessarily been fair on her. Anyway, she took this fairly well. Apparently she was excited...or something like that, I didn't exactly know the reason. Naturally I felt extremely nervous after telling her, because I had came out to an IRL friend for the first time, and I took this into account. Plus being one of her Ex boyfriends, I felt a bit awkward about the situation. So anyway, a day or so after, I was sort've...You could say pressured into telling another one of my friends. Basically, the one I told, told the other that I had a secret. And so she got naturally curious and wouldn't leave me alone about it. She was fairly okay with it too, sort've disregarded it as one of those things, but felt fine with it nonetheless. Both of them swore they wouldn't tell anyone. But the problem I'm experiencing is how long this will last. I doubt that the two would be able to keep the secret forever, by either me falling out with them and them revealing it to everyone else out of spite, or by them slipping the tongue accidentally, as it were. I'm still wondering the right time to come out completely, school ends soon, and considering I wouldn't have to come across some of the arrogant asses I know at school anymore, it could be fairly okay to some of my friends. But my parents are another story. They're not necessarily the open minded type, And I doubt they would take my sexuality very well...At all. This is probably the only reason why I'm preventing coming out completely. It's pretty much out of the fear that my parents might disregard or perhaps disown me, probably because they've already painted out my future in a certain way, and I doubt me having boyfriends was included in that image of theirs. So. Basically what I'm asking here, is what's in the title. Where do I go from here, exactly?
I would say that it's better for you to tell it, and control the spin, so to speak, than for someone else, particularly someone who hates you, to find out and spread the story. I personally have no prejudices against bi people (after all, you are still mentally capable of carrying on the race - the real reason for sex), and my best friend is, or says he is, bi (he's been going through a lot of phases recently, including emo, Wiccan, etc). If you really think it will get out, you should come out in the best way you can, so that others can't twist and manipulate the story as much.
Firstly, are you absolutely completely sure you're bi? The majority of teenagers go through a stage where they have bisexual feelings and it can last for very long amounts of time. But if you're sure, you're sure i guess. Hmm... I'd say if you've come out to even just one person, you have to be ready to come out to the world. Tell your parents before they find out from someone else- theyll feel bad if they know you kept it a secret from them. <3 People arent so prejudice as they were in the past, you should be okay.
I've pretty much clarified with myself that I am not straight in the slightest. I'm sexually attracted to both Females and Males, and that's how it's been, for as long as I can remember. It sounds silly typing that, but it's true. I would have verified it for myself before coming out to anyone. :v And yeah, but that's the problem. My parents aren't exactly the most open-minded people, as I said. Just yesterday, my dad was cracking up remarks about Gay and Lesbian people at the dinner table, and that didn't exactly help me more with my confidence. Coming to think of it, I don't think it would necessarily be bad to tell my mother, but my Dad and my 2 older sisters are different.
Okay then, I suggest talking to your mum first alone then. Maybe when she finds out the truth she can slowly get your dad into not minding the idea. Go to your mum and pose her the question- "mum, what would you do if I came out gay or bi?" She'll be alarmed by the question probably but if she reacts terribly you could just say you were wondering, asking because of a friend in a similar situation or something. If she comes out with a reasonable answer, then you can confess <3
You're going to have to tell your parents sometime. That's the painful truth. Also, there are a lot of bi people. No one should make a big deal if you are bi because it's not like your a leper and it's not like being bi is contagious so they shouldn't care as much as your dad probably will. But he will eventually come around when you tell him.
Well, just try to keep your friends in touch and close. That way you won't feel any risk or danger. It's best to keep them close that way. Not like monitoring them, but it will ease your doubt. Eventually you must tell your parents. Wether you wait until you are stabilized on another place away from the authority of your parents, or just telling them now. Just be careful, and take things slowly.
Just try to get every aspect into perspective. Since you're sure you're bisexual, then that gets the main one out of the way. There's nothing wrong with that. You can't control how you feel. If you try, it just ends up biting you in the ass. I would tell your mother first. Just sit her down and tell her. No matter what, she's your mother. She loves you. When your dad finds out, if he doesn't approve, then f*ck him. Once you're 18, it's YOUR life. Just stand up to him. 'Man up' so to speak. Your friends shouldn't care whether you're gay, bi, or straight. They're friends with you because they like you. Not because of your sexual orientation. If someone didn't want to be friends with someone because they found out they were bisexual, maybe they have a slight homophobia? Your real friends will accept you for who you are and will feel a closer connection to you. Just try not to blow things out of proportion, because that's when it goes down hill.
Well, whatever happens from here, with your friends, will happen. About your parents, well, if it were me, I would just go and tell them. sure you may have some fights about it, but if you stand your ground and don't let them take control, then they will eventually come to accept it.
Go tell your dad, asap... It would probably be best to tell your mum first, as everyone is saying, just so that you have some support if things turn to **** with your dad when you tell him... But it's really not that big of a thing... I have a friend who felt the same about how her mother would react... I dont know how it all ended, but she is still alive so it couldn't have been that bad... Just work up the guts to do it and go... It's eaasier to tell someone quickly, then you won't feel as bad or scared... I dunno...
