I have a best friend from high school. We can just call her "Dani California" for the purpose of this thread. Over our time in school together, we ended up pretty close; we had went to prom together, we Skyped near constantly over the summer, and even throughout last school year we still kept pretty regular contact. Over the past few months or so, we haven't really been talking all that much since we're both busy. The times we have been able to talk though, I've been really bad at it? She'll say something and then I end up pausing because I'm not quite sure what to say. At first I thought it was just that I hadn't really been talking to her all that much, but lately it just seems to be a repeating pattern where both of us pause for a while, or just don't catch on to the other joking. I feel like I'm annoying to her and have been trying to keep away, but I also miss her a lot and want to have a normal conversation for once again. Am I just over-thinking things? Am I just too nervous? Should I just tell her how I feel about this and apologize? Is there something else that could be in the way?* Any and all advice would be mucho appreciated, everyone! I just want things to go back to normal between us and have both of us avoid feeling like there's an elephant trying to tight rope over a bunch of glass. * OKAY SO LMAO I've had pretty serious feelings for her the past...five? Five years. We've never dated and prom was the only thing remotely close to a "date" we've ever been on. She's shown some interest in the last year, but after I talked to her about it in August she pretty much said "idk how I feel about it right now," which is completely understandable. It's a dropped topic and not something I'm trying to dig into much now either (I also dunno how I'd feel about a relationship where I'm currently at in life), but she's also one of my best friends, and I miss being able to just talk and do stuff together.
It definitely couldn't hurt to tell her how you feel and see how that goes. Since you guys are best friends, she'll more than likely understand. As for apologizing, have you really done anything wrong? If you haven't, then I wouldn't apologize.
If you guys have been out of touch for a while it's natural for there to be some awkwardness in picking back up; you can't expect your conversations to flow and proceed like they did when they you were talking on a more regular basis (and it's entirely possible that your feelings for her, and strong desire to get the friendship going again, are making you anxious). Right now, also, is a really turbulent time in a person's life: you're at an age/phase where you do a lot of changing as a person in a very short period of time -- it's possible the two of you have changed quite a bit and need some time get to know, and acclimate to, who you are now versus how you remember one another. It does sound like a fair bit of it is just anxiety, which is natural and okay. I do think honesty is usually the best route, so bringing up how you feel to her (getting nervous when you're talking) could lead to a very freeing conversation. I'm sure she's felt some of the awkwardness and it could be good to bring it into the open. If you do feel it is right you could re-address your past feelings for her, explaining where you're at (that they're still there but you respect what she said/felt, that you're not really sure if you're looking to be in a relationship anyway, and that you just want to grow close as friends again and see what happens). I feel like my advice for these sorts of threads usually just end up being that if you can come here and talk it out with us, you probably should just do it with her. Hell, you could almost copy and paste what you've posted here. It doesn't have to be a big deal really, and if she's been as close a friend as you make it seem (and has surely noticed/felt some of this herself), being open and honest can only help.
Like Misty said, the pressure of wanting the friendship back is probably messing with it but I recon she is in the exact same position and is feeling the same way as you so talking about it would be the best bet. It will allow you both to open up and unleash the feelings! xD No but really, it could take a lot of the pressure off and reduce anxiety to know where you are both at. Also, perhaps talking about good memories and past times you spent together might help. But I don't really know :3 Best of luck Plooohems :3
Everyone else has pretty much said what I was going to say As someone who has been in the girl's position, I would definitely tell her how you feel about it. I don't think you need to apologise but if it will make you feel better then go for it. As for the whole "not being able to talk the same way" thing, it is definitely because you guys haven't spoken in a while. It's very disheartening when you realise that things have changed in such a short period of time, but keep at the conversations because they will eventually pick up again. Hey, it sounds like you guys are pretty much best friends and you can be open and honest with most things, so what do you have to lose? Hope that helped :)
