Kingdom Hearts:A New Beginning Part 1 Introduction Thirty years after the defeat of Ansem, Seeker of Darkness and Xemnas, Leader Of Orginization XIII, the offspring of the two keyblade masters Sora and Riku, are planning the perfect way to spend their summer break. Little do they know that their plans are about to dissapear into thin air as a terrible evil works once again to take control of the famed Kingdom Hearts....... Chapter 1- The Walk Home "Cadmus, you're so boring. I can't believe that all you want to do over your entire summer break is read." his older brother Septimus said."Septimus,whats your problem! Leave him alone!" yelled Roxas, the eldest of the three. "Hey I just don't want him to be labeled as a nerd until we're dads age" retorted Septimus. Finally, Cadmus spoke up. "Hey Roxas, did you know that at this very second, millions of radio waves are bouncing off of each of us?" Septimus looked at his older brother. "You see what I mean? If I wasn't related to him, I'd call him a nerd too." he said in a matter of fact tone. Roxas suddenly lost it. "Septimus, lay off! I'm tired of you picking on him! Don't be jelous just because when he's thirty, he'll probably own a major company and you'll be the garbage man working for him if he finds it in his heart to forgive you!" he yelled. Septimus looked taken aback. "Geez, touchy touchy" he said. Finally the three stopped walking and looked at where they were. They were on the hill overlooking their village and the island where they frequently hung out. They stopped to enjoy the veiw for a couple of minutes then Septimus spoke up. "Last one to the house is a stupid heartless!" and with that he took off running. Roxas pelted after him and in no time he blew past his brother. By the time Cadmus had made it to the house, his brothers had already put their school things in their rooms and were heading of to get Riku's kids. He quickly put his things in his room and pelted after his brothers saying "Guys wait for me!" Chapter 2-Riku's Family By the time Cadmus caught up to his brothers, Riku's youngest son Telemechus was already outside and messing around with his best friend Septimus. "Hold on Roxas, I'll get Amycus." he said. He stuck his head back into the doorway and yelled "Amycus, Roxas and Septimus are here!" he turned to look at Roxas. "He'll be out in a minute" he said. Suddenly Riku came out of the door. " Hey guys, whats up?" he asked. "Nothing much although i'm guessing the sky." said Septimus. Riku turned to Roxas. "How is Sora?" he asked. "Oh Dads doing great. Hes at home if you wanna go and see him." Riku pondered on this invitation for a moment. "Are you sure he won't mind?" he asked. "Nah" said Roxas. Riku pondered a bit more. "Okay, I think I will go and see him" he finally said. He started to walk toward Roxas' house. "Have fun you guys!" he called over his shoulder. Just then Roxas' best friend Amycus walked out of the house. "Hey guys are we going to the island today?" he asked. "Yeah, we wanted to come and get you first." Septimus answered. Then all four heads turned and watched as Cadmus came running down the road. "Guys, I told you to wait for me!" he said in a whiney tone of voice and very out of breath. Septimus looked at his younger brother and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. "Sorry Bro, we didn't hear you". Cadmus looked infuriated but said "Are we ready to go to the island then?". "Yes!" the other four cried in unison. "Then let's go!" shouted Roxas. Chapter 3-War of The Worlds When the five got to the shore of the main island they all looked for their boats that would help take them to their island. " Now where did we put those frickin boats" said Septimus started to get annoyed. "Oh yeah we put them behind the rocks"said Roxas. When they pulled out the boats, Septimus and Telemechus got into one and Amycus,Roxas, and Cadmus piled into the other. In no time the five friends were on their islands. They immediatly grabbed their wooden swords and split up to obtain the best spots on the island to be their territories for a game they invented and played every summer. They called it War of The Worlds. The rules were simple. Before the game even started, one person from the group was chosen to be the heartless first.Once you obtained your territory, it became your world. The heartless would then try and find you and battle you for your world. If you were the heartless and you defeated someone, you got the chance to either rank up and take over the world or destroy the world altogether and make the current controller have to find a new world. If you lost, you were destroyed and sent back to your original world, and someone else was chosen to become the heartless. At the end of the summer, the one with the most worlds under their control won. So when the five friends had each picked a different territory, they had a meeting back on the beach. They each started argueing about who would be the heartless first. "Well its not gonna be me" said Septimus smugly. "Well I was the heartless first last year" said Telemechus. The five started argueing loudly then abrubtly it all stopped. Every head suddenly turned toward Cadmus. "No guys, don't look at me. Thats not fair. You know I suck at fighting" he tried to explain. Septimus looked at him and said "Don't worry little bro, we'll go easy on you". Cadmus looked up cheerfully. "Really?" he said. Telemechus and Septimus looked at each other. "Nope" they said at the same time. "Good luck" the four shouted to Cadmus as he took his position in the seaside shack to count. Chapter 4-The Secret Place "47...,48...,49...,50..., Alright, I might as well get this over with" sighed Cadmus. He opened the door to the shack and said to himself, "Now if I were Septimus, where would I pick?" He suddenly got an idea. "Why didn't I think of it before?, I'll check in the secret place!". He made the short walk to the secret place and went inside. He then started looking everywhere for his brother thinking that he might be hiding somewhere just to jump out at him and scare him when he least expected it. Suddenly he heard a voice behind him. "This world has been connected once again...". He spun around to face the voice and saw a hooded man. "Who are you?" He asked. The stranger seemed to ignore him as he continued speaking."Tied to the darkness" he said, "Soon to be completly eclipsed". Cadmus looked skeptical. "What are you talking about dude?" He asked. The stranger finally seemed to notice him. "You will soon find out" he said mysteriously. Cadmus' attention was suddenly directed to the giant door in the secret place. He turned back to where the stranger was. "Does this door have anything to do with what you're talking about?" he asked. But the stranger had mysteriously vanished into thin air. "What the..." said Cadmus. He turned to look back at the entrance. "Where did he go?" he asked to no one in particular. He shrugged his shoulders and said "Well that was kinda creepy" and he walked out. Chapter 5-Dinner When Cadmus left the secret place he was shocked to see that the sun had almost completely gone down. The first thought that popped into his head was that all his friends must have gotten hungry and decided to take the boats and leave him but when he got to the shore he was suprised to see that all of his friends were still there. "Hurry up Cadmus, I'm starving!" yelled Septimus. "Yeah we don't have all day" yelled Telemechus. Cadmus ran the rest of the way to the boats and in no time they had landed back on the main island. "Hey Roxas, do you think your dad would let me spend the night?" asked Amycus. "Yeah me too!" asked Telemechus. "I don't know guys, maybe." said Roxas. When they got to the house and opened the door the delecious aroma of pizza greeted them. They hurried to the table and sat down leaving puddles of drool on the way. Sora and Riku were already sitting down. "Where have you guys been? we've been waiting for you." asked Sora. "We were on the island dad" said Septimus "We would've been back alot sooner if Cadmus wasn't so slow." Sora sighed. "Septimus stop picking on your brother." he said in a tired voice. Finally Roxas spoke up. "Hey dad, can Amycus and Telemechus spend the night?" he asked in a hopeful voice. Sora thought for a moment. "I guess its alright if Riku doesn't care." All heads turned toward Riku instantly. "Umm.... Sure why not." he said. "Yes!" shouted the five kids. Chapter 6-The Sleepover "Bye dad!" said Amycus and Telemechus together as they hugged Riku. "Bye guys. Be good for Sora. You know he can come and get me at anytime." warned Riku. "Uhh dad, that scared us when we were five." said Telemechus. "Okay then... be good." said Riku as he walked out of the door. "Urgh. I thought he would never leave!" said Amycus. "Well come on guys, lets go play." said Roxas. They hurried up to Roxas' room because the Playstation 2 was in his room. They hurriedly turned it on and started playing Lego Star Wars. Roxas decided he would play last and went to look in his mirror. His appearance was something that troubled him. He looked nothing like his father or mother. It was strange but when he looked at his reflection it was like he knew a twin he never had. He had asked his father about this and his father only told him that he took after his uncle Roxas whom he was named after. He asked where his uncle was but his father had told him he had died long ago. He looked over to his brothers. Septimus was the spitting image of his dad. He looked just like him. Cadmus took after their mother. He had a reddish-brown hair color and his mothers eyes. Roxas looked over at Amycus and Telemechus. Telemechus was the spitting image of his father. But Amycus looked just like his dad except for his hair. His hair was jet black. Finally Roxas was awakened from his trance when his brother yelled " Aw Crap!!!!". Roxas looked at the screen and it said GAME OVER. He couldn't help but laugh. Suddenly Amycus looked over and said "Hey Roxas, want to have a little fun tonight?". "Umm...like what?" Roxas asked. "Let's go camping in the secret place." Chapter 7- The Camping Trip "Ok...umm....Amycus, can I ask you a serious question?" Roxas said. "Sure buddy." said Amycus. "Ok. Umm... Are you on crack?" Roxas asked. "We're never gonna be able to sneak out of the house. And even if we managed it, mom gets back from her business trip really early tomarrow." said Roxas. "Aw c'mon Bro. whats the matter, you're not chicken are you?" goaded Septimus. "Yeah Roxas, don't be a weenie." said Telemechus. "Urgh....fine. Get the sleeping bags and lets go." decided Roxas against his better judgement. About five minutes later, the five boys were climbing out of the window and heading toward the boats. They soon landed on the island for the second time that day and went to the secret place. They set up their stuff and sat down to tell ghost stories. It wasn't long before they had all fallen asleep. Then suddenly Septimus awoke with a start. "Man I gotta pee!" he said to the walls. he walked outside and what he saw nearly made him pee his pants. It was a hooded stranger surrounded by a bunch of little black and white creatures with gray eyes. they had a symbol on their heads that looked like an upside down heart with a crown at the top and an X going through it. Whatever these things were, they didn't look friendly. "Who are you and what do you want!" shouted Septimus. The stranger looked at the creatures and said "Kill them.". Chapter 8-The Keyblade "Umm... Dude, can i go pee before these things attack?" Septimus asked in a serious tone of voice. "Urgh.... Fine! But make it fast." the stranger said. "Great, Dude. Thanks a million man. I was seriously about to pee in my pants." said Septimus as he pulled his pants back up. "Ok. I'm ready." he said as he got in position. The stranger looked at the creatures and said "Now kill them". They attacked with such blinding speed that Septimus barely had time to move. "Woah." he said as he dodged a creature. He looked to the side and saw his wooden sword on the ground. "Alright!" he yelled. He ran straight for his sword but a creature got in front of it. Septimus had no time to think before he was tackeled by a horde of the creatures. "What are these things?" he asked to nobody in particular. Just when it looked as though Septimus was doomed, all of the creatures on him were gone. He looked up and there was Roxas looking ahead at more incoming creatures. Septimus' eyes darted down to what his brother was holding. It wasn't a wooden sword. In fact it didn't look like any sword he had ever seen.It was a silver key shaped sword with a yellow guard at the handle and a keychain at the bottom. For some unknown reason however Septimus knew what it was."The Keyblade" Septimus said in awe. Roxas looked at his brother. "C'mon grab your sword" he said. Then Amycus, Telemechus, and Cadmus came out of the secret place, each wielding a different keyblade. They joined Roxas as Septimus picked up his sword. The moment he grabbed it, it turned into a keyblade. "Woah! Thats tight." he said. He got into his position and raised his keyblade. "Alright guys," he said to his friends,"Lets see what they're made of" Septimus said as the creatures attacked. Chapter 9-Destiny Islands Is No More "Hey guys," Septimus shouted," Go for the hooded guy. He's the boss" Septimus then looked for the man but he was gone. He slashed through two creatures and continued looking. He suddenly felt a tremor beneath him. He looked down to see cracks appearing all over the ground. "Guys I think the island is about to split right down the mid- Aaaahhhhh!" yelled Septimus. The whole island including the main one had just split apart. Septimus looked up to see a huge ball of darkness. Just then, the smaller pieces of the islands started to get sucked up into the darkness. He turned his attention back to the battle and saw that all the creatures were combining to form one huge one. His brothers and friends started to attack the creature so he leapt foward and started to help. Before long he was exhausted. The energy the darkness above them was sucking up was increasing by the moment. Suddenly he felt himself rise up into the air. He looked back at the creature and saw that it had gotten sucked into the darkness already. He quickly jabbed his keyblade into what was left of the ground and held on with one hand and held onto his brothers and friends with the other. He looked at them. Amycus had grabbed onto Telemechus' hand and Telemechus had grabbed onto Cadmus' hand. "Oh no!!!!!! My hand is slipping!" Cadmus yelled. Suddenly Amycus and Telemechus were airborne and were sucked into the darkness. "NOOOO!!!!!!" he yelled. Then, as if the giant creature was still there and had pulled his keyblade out of the ground, they were being sucked into the darkness. Septimus heard Roxas' voice. "Whatever you do, don't let go of each others hands" he said. Then they were sucked into the darkness. The last thing Septimus remembered before he lost consiousness was darkness. Total darkness. Chapter 10-Traverse Town When Roxas woke up his head was killing him. It felt as though his head would split open at any moment. "Uhhhhh. What happened?" he asked. "Where am I?" he asked. He looked beside him. Septimus was asleep on his right side and Cadmus was asleep on his left side. Suddenly Roxas remembered everything. "The Island!Wheres the island? Dad!" Roxas yelled. Cadmus woke with a start beside him. He noticed Roxas was awake and Septimus was still sleeping. "Hey Roxas, where are we?" he asked, the fright evident in his voice. "I don't know little bro" said Roxas. Roxas turned and shook Septimus until he too woke with a start. "Where are we?" Septimus asked. "We don't know" said Cadmus. Septimus' face suddenly looked even more frightened than it did before. "Wheres our island?wheres dad? wheres Amycus and Telemechus?" he asked. "Well, we wont know where we are till we take a look around so let's split up."They each went into different shops and asked around. What they learned terrified them. They learned that their island was destroyed. They also learned that they were in Tranverse Town, the town that all people that survived the destruction of their worlds went to. So they asked more and more questions to different shop owners and residents of the town. Soon enough, they were experts on Tranverse Town. Roxas decided he would ask in one more shop so he told his brothers to go back to where they woke up at and wait for him. He entered the shop and saw a moogle at the counter. He asked what the moogle knew but it wasnt much help. He soon exited the shop and before he knew it two people had confronted him. One was tall with a scar on his cheek and had graying brown hair and the other one was undeniably his son. "You know, those things will keep coming after you as long as you wield the keyblade." the older one said calmly. Roxas was suprised."Big deal, I can take care of myself." he said. "Maybe, maybe not. Let's find out". said the man. Suddenly, the younger one had a gunblade and was running right at him. Roxas quickly pulled out his keyblade and easily blocked the attack. "Dude, Your gonna have to do way better than that." he said. Suddenly Roxas' brothers came around the corner. "Roxas, Whats going on?" they asked in dismay as the older one started closing in on them with a gunblade of his own. Then out of nowhere, the younger boy stepped back and pointed the gunblade at him. A ball of fire shot from the end of the sword and caught Roxas square in the chest before he had time to move. He swayed for a minute, dropped his keyblade, and passed out. The boy looked over Roxas for a moment and said "Why did the keyblade choose this runt?". Then the older man came up with the unconcious bodies of Septimus and Cadmus. "C'mon son, lets get these guys outta here" Chapter 11- Leon and Draven When Roxas woke up, he had no idea where he was. Then suddenly it all came back to him. "Woah!" he said as the younger boy appeared in the doorway. He drew his keyblade and got up. He was in some kind of room. The boy said "Easy dude, I'm not gonna hurt you. We had to get you guys away from those things." Roxas reluctantly put his keyblade away. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Draven." the boy said. "Okay, where are my brothers?" Roxas asked. "They're in the room right beside us." answered Draven. Roxas looked at Draven for a minute. He looked at least seventeen. "Alright Draven, its been real but we gotta go." Roxas said. "Dude, I'm sorry but I can't let you leave just yet. I thought it would be in your best interest if you stayed and trained with me for a little while. Otherwise those things are gonna eat you alive." he explained. "Whatever. Well do you wanna tell me what those things were?" Roxas asked. Meanwhile, in the other room, Leon was explaining to Septimus and Cadmus the same thing Draven was explaining to Roxas. "Well, there are actually beings that manifest themselves on the power of darkness. There are four types of them. They are known as the heartless, the nobodies, the unbirth, and the reborn. They are extremely powerful too. They will attack you unmercifully because you weild keyblades." said Leon. "Dude, this is heavy." said Septimus. "So how do we defeat them for good?" asked Cadmus. Leon thought for a minute."I can't tell you that. What I can tell you is that you need to find Cid. My son Draven can help you with that. Once you find Cid, he should let you borrow one of his gummi ships. He should also put in a navi gummi block and set coordinates for Disney Castle. Once you get there, look for King Mickey. He should know what to do." Just at that moment a loud crash came from the other room. Draven opened the door and said "Uhhh Dad, we got company!" Leon pulled out his gunblade. "Draven take these guys to Cid. I'll handle these things." Draven gave a nod of understanding, then said "Follow me!". And with that, he turned around and ran with Roxas, Septimus, and Cadmus right on his heels. Leon turned back toward the window just as a heartless came through it. "Ha.... Showtime." he said. Chapter 12-The Enemy Draven led Roxas and his brothers out of the hotel where they were at. "Hey Draven, where are you taking us?"asked Roxas as he slashed at a Heartless. "Weren't you listening? I'm taking you to find Cid." said Draven as he cut down a heartless of his own. Soon they reached the door that would take them from the second district to the first. Just as they reached the door, A monster Heartless came out of nowhere. He hit Draven and Roxas and knocked them off the side of the ledge. The heartless then jumped down to meet them. As soon as it's feet hit the ground, giant blocks of concrete rose up to stop Cadmus and Septimus from joining the fight. Then more smaller heartless appeared in front of Septimus and Cadmus. They started fighting. "Roxas don't let your guard down." warned Draven. "Dude, I've had girlfriends tougher than that thing." said Roxas. Roxas turned around and got his first good look at the thing. It was solid black, about eight feet tall, and unlike most heartless his dad had ever told him about, it had teeth. And lots of them. suddenly it jumped foward and swung a razor sharp claw-filled hand at him. Draven jumped foward and blocked the attack. "C'mon Roxas,what are you doing?" he asked. "Sorry" yelled Roxas as he swung the keyblade at the heartless. Draven jumped back and shot a couple of fireballs at the heartless as Roxas jumped in for close range attacks. Suddenly, the heartless opened it's mouth and shot fireballs of its own at Draven. He jumped over all of the fireballs and landed on the heartless' back. He stabbed it with his gunblade but suprisingly it still didn't go down. "Urgh...." said Draven as he was thrown off of the heartless. "Oh Crap!" he said as the hand came back down. Draven layed on his back and held the gunblade as the claws came towards him. Roxas saw this as his oppuratunity and threw his keyblade. It connected with the heartless' head. He jumped forward and caught his keyblade and came back down with a vicious fifteen hit combo to the heartless' head. Finally the heartless cried out in pain and fell to the ground defeated. Then the heartless sort of dematerialized as a giant heart came out of it. Draven got back up and said "Thanks for that.". Then all the concrete barriers came back down and Draven and Roxas went up the stairs to meet Cadmus and Septimus. Then the four went to the first district. Chapter 13-Amycus and Telemechus "You see, They have left you and found new friends." said a cold, menacing voice. "They didn't even think of looking for you". "Yea and dem guys probably ain't gonna come lookin for ya" said another voice. "Shut up Pete! I will handle this. Go and ready the Heartless" the voice said again. Suddenly a crow came in the window and landed on the persons shoulder. "Who are you?"asked Amycus. "My name is Maleficent. I can help you find your way back to your island." she said.“Yea lady I think we can find our way back to our island perfectly well thanks” said Telemechus in a smug tone of voice. “We don’t need your help” said Amycus. Suddenly, Another figure stepped out of the shadows. “Maleficent, let me see if I can convince them”the stranger said. “Who are you?”asked Telemechus. The boy removed his hood. He had long blonde hair in his parted in the emo style so it covered one of his blue eyes. He was about five foot three inches tall, and he had a look of angry calmness. This boy looked no older than fourteen. Amycus knew then that there would be no point in trying to resist the darkness anymore. Suddenly the boy spoke up. “My name is of no importance to you at this moment. What I can tell you is that you have no idea what I’m cabable of doing. It would not be wise to defy me.” Telemechus suddenly got angry. “Who do you think you are? You can’t just come in here and tell us what to do. We’ll kill you.” The boys facial expression didn’t change. “If you think you can” he said calmly. Telemechus pulled out his keyblade and ran for the boy but he was too slow. The boy simply pulled his own keyblade and quickly disarmed his opponent. Telemechus was on the ground before he had time to blink with a keyblade to his throat. The boy looked to Amycus and said “Either do what we tell you, or your brother will die.” Amycus looked torn between doing what he knew would be the right thing to do and saving his brother. “Alright you win” he said. The boy withdrew his keyblade and picked up Telemechus with one hand and threw him back to his brother. Both of them hit the ground. When they got back up the boy said “I’m glad you see it my way.” End of Part 1 Part 2 Chapter 14- Cid And The Gummi Ship “So that was a boss heartless.” said Roxas as they walked toward the accessories shop. “Yes, they’re terrifying aren’t they?” asked Draven. Just then Leon came walking through the door. “Hey guys what happened to you?” he asked. “Ummm. Well we kinda met this boss heartless and we got in a fight and Roxas beat the crap out of it. It was really cool dad. I guess it was just one of those you had to be there kinda moments” explained Draven. “Okay, well have you found Cid yet?” asked Leon. “No we just got here dad” said Draven. “Alright well let’s see if we can find him together.” Just then a man with blonde spiky hair came walking in the main door with a look-alike son except the hair was brown. Leon and Draven started waving like maniacs. “Cloud, Blane, over here” yelled Draven. Cloud and Blane turned their heads to look at them. “Hey guys, whats up?” asked Cloud. “Well we’re trying to find Cid. Do you guys have any clue where he might be?” asked Leon. Cloud seemed to think for a minute. “Nope,havent seen him but we could help you find him.”he offered. “Great. Okay everybody,split up” said Leon. They searched all over Traverse Town and finally found him in the Gizmo Shop. “What the heck were you doing in here?” Draven asked. “I was lookin for gummi blocks” said Cid calmly. “Okay can we get this show on the road and get out of here cause I really don’t feel like fighting another one of those heartless” interupted Septimus. “Fine, follow me” said Cid. He led them outside and back to the first district. “Ta da” said Cid, his voice filled with pride. “Sweet” said Roxas, Septimus, and Cadmus at the same time. “Well, ya’ll better get going if you’re gonna save the universe” said Cid. “But we don’t know how to fly” Roxas exclaimed. “Don’t worry. You’ve got the best navigation system the gummi industry has to offer. You won’t need to fly.” Explained Cid. “Tight” said the three brothers again. They boarded the gummi ship and said goodbye to everyone. Then they took off for Disney Castle. Chapter 15-Hunter Soon the brothers reached their destination-Disney Castle. They exited the gummi ship and looked around. They were in some kind of gummi hanger. "Heya Guys. Welcome to Disney Castle!" said a voice. They looked around for the speaker but they couldn't find them. "Uhhhh. Down Here." It said again. They looked down only to find that the speaker or speakers were a pair of talking chipmunks. They were identical to except that one had a red nose and one had a black one. "My name is Chip." said the one with the black nose. "And my names Dale." said the other. "We can upgrade your gummi ship for you." they said together. "No thank you."said Cadmus. "Can you tell us where King Mickey is?" he asked. "Sure. he's up in the library." said Dale. He turned to a large tube protruding from the ceiling. "Goofy, Donald, can you come down to the hanger? We have visitors that would like to see the king." he said into it. After about a minute and a half of waiting, a large dog looking thing in armor and a walking duck came down the stairs. When they spotted Cadmus they each ran to hug him. "Sora, you haven't changed a bit!" exclaimed Donald. "Uhhhh. Sora is my dad. I'm Cadmus. These are my brothers Septimus and Roxas." he said. "Oh" said Donald, looking embarassed. "Well, follow me." he said. Soon they were at a large door. "King Mickey is in there." said Goofy as he opened the door for them. "Okay thanks"the all said as they walked in. Goofy then shut the door behind them. They took a good look at the library. Then they spotted His Majesty. He was behind a desk poring over a sheet of paper. There was another boy behind him also looking at the same sheet of paper. They both suddenly looked up. The king was exactly how their father had described him. This boy, on the other hand, did not know. He was about five feet five inches tall, his hair was all over his forehead and in both eyes so no part of his face below his eyes were visible and he wore a brown beanie hat with a bill turned slightly sideways. He was wearing a black and white layered t-shirt and baggy American Eagle blue jeans. He was also wearing a white jacket. He had on sky blue and white jordans. The boy didn't look any older than Roxas was-fourteen. He moved his hair out of one eye and it was crystal blue. He walked over to them and extended his hand. "I'm Hunter." he said. Tell me what you think
dont really know. Lol Guess i'll have to incorporate her in or i could say she had an equilibrium problem, which led to a brain tumor and she died.
Awesome I love reading for some reason after I reading big books I've been able to read fast anyway awesome story again KEEP ON WRITING DUDE
Lol it waz prolly a hooker or something like that lol but i guess he got custody of the kids after they were born, I could just see them asking Riku "Papa? Who is our mama?" Riku : "Uuuuuhhhh your mother? Well id rather not talk about it" lol
The plot is quite interesting. But if you're going to make chapters specifically like that, remember to add at least some paragraphs, so it can be easier on the eyes.
You've got an interesting idea here, taking everything out of the normal cannon and adding your own spice to it. Saying that, the chapters are a bit short and too blocky, making it slightly hard to read. There is an easy fix to this, just create paragraphs, maybe lower the number of chapters from 13 to five or six. You seem to easily encorperate humor in this which is a strength to this story. Generally I like it, just try to watch your structure.
This is a very good story :D It is interesting and I liked how the story revolved around the kids. 10/10 Keep up the good work XD
Hey guys from now on im going to post a new page on this thread cause the first one takes forever to scroll down and edit.
Really good story. Just wondering why you gave all of them aside from Roxas those massivly weird names.
Well Amycus i got from Harry Potter. Telemechus, konfedi you are correct, i got from the odyssey. Cadmus, i have no idea where i got it from. And Septimus, i read about in a book called Magyk
Not much of a fan of Original Kingdom Hearts characters. But this is awesome. Seriously. Also a little tip. Space out into paragraphs o.o
I liked this chapter! Really good! I would do what Zeo said and space out your story with paragraphs, it's easier on the eyes that way.
*Ahem* Well, I read most of it...and it should be spaced out, I for one don't like blocks of text. It's funny, I'll give you that, very funny. Just, no daughter? That's mainly all. I seriously suggest you space it out. And what's with so many children...with completely strange names.
I will space it out No daughter But girls are coming up And its freakin Kingdom hearts dude. what did you expect Names like bob?
I finally got chapter sixteen done sorry for the extremely long wait you won't have to wait as long for the next one. I promise Chapter 16- The Revelation “I’m Roxas and these are my brothers Cadmus and Septimus.†said Roxas as he shook Hunter’s hand. “So King Mickey tells me you guys are gonna try and hunt down all manifestions of darkness and destroy them for good. Let me tell you it’s a useless gesture. It cant be done as long as there is darkness in people’s hearts. But it can be supressed. There is a boy controlling them all. King Mickey asked me to come along and help you guys defeat this boy.†explained Hunter. “Why?†asked Septimus. “Well because I’m the only one that can defeat him. You see, I am what is known as the true keyblade master. What that means is that I am the most powerful person to ever weild one. It also means that at this moment, I am the strongest and most powerful person alive.†He said in a tone that wasn’t cocky or snobbish. “Oh yeah, prove it†demanded Septimus. He drew his keyblade and ran at Hunter. Hunter moved to the side and drew his own keyblade. He hit Septimus in the stomach, then brought the keyblade around and struck him in the back of the head knocking him out cold. Cadmus and Roxas looked at him in awe and amasement. “Roxas, He wasn’t kidding. He’s better than all of us.†Cadmus said. “That don’t mean nothin†Roxas replied. “I bet he couldn’t take all of us at the same time.â€Alright you’re the best. But that still doesn’t explain why ly you can defeat him.†“Its because he’s my nobody.†Said Hunter.
