This is my first fanfic so be gentle. This fanfic happens after Kingdom Hearts 2. Something happend the last time I typed this so I had to re-type this whole thing (that sucked)(this time or everytime now im going to copy it at the end just incase it messes up again lol). Ch. 1 Realization "OMIGAWD, what has that runt with the keyblade done to my perfect copies of us?!" Vexen shouted. "Well, uh . . . why did Xemy ask you to make copies of us again Vexen?" Demyx asked. "Just so we could watch ourselves die again?" Axel asked looking more clueless than Demyx. "Talk about blank with a capital 'B'." Xigbar stated. "Then why did he ask you Vexy?" Larxene asked while looking like Axel and Demyx in their confused state. "Well, I guess if we quit bickering, maybe he would tell us." Zexion said coldly shooting a glare at Axel, Demyx and Larxene sitting in their white chairs. Then nodded at Vexen. "Well" Vexen started "Superior wanted copies of us to get some data. That might not be his true aim, but that’s all he made clear to me." Axels face brightened as if he understood some of what Vexen was talking about. "To fix your earlier statement Vexen, there was another keyblade wielder, Riku." Zexion stated. Vexen's face grew red with anger from Zexion correcting him. Everyone watched to see what would happen next. Demyx, out of his confused state, returned to his playful self. "Dance Water! Dance!" Some water splashed Vexen's face as if to kewl ( = my way of saying cool, it is easier to spell it that way for me lol) him off. This only made him grow angrier. Everyone busted out laughing (except Vexen). An insulted Vexen disappeared into a shadow portal he created while everyone laughed. Vexen reappeared at The Altar of Naught (all of the Organization were in the lower part of The World That Never Was while Sora and everybody else was here. They hid there to let their copies gather info. and such (oh and I don’t know why this had relevance to this part I just put it here)) only to find Xemnas. He was marveling at their Kingdom Hearts (somehow it survived). "Superior . . . what are we going to do about" Vexen pointed at the brilliance of Kingdom Hearts "that?" "Well, we could always try again, try to unlock it or . . . destroy it" Xemnas said with his orange eyes staring into the emanating glow of purple. "After we destroy it, we would have to remake it if we still need Kingdom Hearts." Xemnas quickly added. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Leave some gentle comments as I said this is my first fanfic so CnC? (I dont even know what that means but since other people say that at the end of a chapter I will too lol)
You seem to have very good personality accuracy, the story line is excellent and somewhat easy to understand, and the grammar is flawless. Well done. This has potential.
TYVM!!! Im actually working on the third chapter right now but I dont want it to mess up again so im just gonna wait until maybe tomorow as a Christmas prez
You spelled "Reappeared" wrong XD This story looks like it could turn out great, but is there any storyline behind it or is it just plain comedy?
Lol, i like ur story! :) my fav part is this: Demyx, out of his confused state, returned to his playful self. "Dance Water! Dance!" Some water splashed Vexen's face as if to kewl ( = my way of saying cool, it is easier to spell it that way for me lol) him off. This only made him grow more angry. Everyone busted out laughing (except Vexen). A insulted Vexen dissapeared into a shadow portal he created while everyone laughed.
Lol TYVM and yours is pretty good also Heres the next chapter, I give it to you as a Christmas President from the Oh very famous KONEFEDDI!!!! Ch. 2 Sora + Kairi!? No way! "Sora . . ." Kairi said. "Yea, Kairi? What’s up?" Sora asked. "Follow me I gotta show you something" Kairi said while grabbing Sora's arm and pulled it (kind of like dragging him at first then he got up and started walking on his own, but Kairi still pulling him). "Its in here." Kairi said while pointing to The Secret Place. "Ok lead the way" Sora said a little impatient. Kairi says, "Wait a sec." while turning around and putting some cherry lip-gloss on (Sora as clueless as ever, didn’t notice this), she took out a bottle and sprayed herself with it (Sora still oblivious didn’t notice that either). "Okay I am ready, lets go in." Sora still wondering what’s up asked "Does Riku know what’s in here?" "Uuuuummm I don’t think so." Kairi stated. "Should we tell him?" Sora asked clueless. "Maybe later but first . . . lets just go in" Kairi said being the impatient one now. The two of them wondered in. Kairi said "You gotta sit" Kairi pointed to one of the walls "right there, against the wall, facing me." Sora doing as he was told, asked, "What am I supposed to be-" Kairi put her lips against his as she knelt down on top of him. "Ssshhh" she soothed. She put her lips against his more forceful this time. "Oh this is what you wanted to show me" Sora said "You wanted to show me how much of a better kisser you are than me" he said while putting his lips against Kairi's as she blushed. Riku walked in The Secret Place ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ (Riku was lightly singing this to his self). He stopped abruptly at the sight that lay before his eyes. "Uuuuummm . . . am I . . . interrupting . . . something?" "Sooo what happened after you guys defeated Xem- Oh hey Rik-" Kairi started. "Save it Kairi" Riku said calmly. "Sora now that I found you . . . do you want to have a match?" Riku asked. "Uuuhhhh can you give me a minute?" Sora asked. "Sure just meet me at the tree" Riku stated while turning around and leaving. "Was that . . cherry chap stick I tasted? Cuz if so . . I can sing ♪ I kissed a girl ♪ " Sora asked while singing that song in his head. "Hehe, actually it was lip-gloss, but I guess you can still sing that song" Kairi said while whipping out some cherry chapstick "If you want, I have some to put on" "Yay, hurry though, Riku is waiting" Sora said returning to his impatient state. "Ok, but just one kiss you lazy bum!" she said while kissing him. "And Sora. . . ?" "Yea, Kairi?" Sora said confused. "Don’t ever change. I know I said that before but I mean it and I just want to enforce it. Oh, and, back there . . . that was for saving me on both of your perilous 'quests'. So, yea, that was like a thank you, and there might be more if you are lucky" She said while kissing him one more time. "Oh, you know Kairi" Sora started "I really enjoyed saving you . . . hehe, I mean really, it was my pleasure." "Wow Sora, your vocabulary has changed" Kairi said while laughing. "Hey, whats that mean?" Sora said while laughing also. "You better get going, as you said 'Riku is waiting' so hurry to him." Kairi said while pushing him out the entrance to The Secret Place. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So what did you guys think? CnC? (I still dont know what this means lol) And Merry Christmas, or if you dont celebrate Christmas Happy (insert holiday that you celebrate here)!!
I defenitely liked this chapter ;) it also included my fav song! :D but seriously, you did an awesome job. *gives u a high5*
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chp 3 - Oblivion+Oathkeeper? "Hey Riku? Ready to face defeat?" Sora said approaching Riku. Riku laughed "I was gonna ask you the same thing!" Riku exclaimed while summoning his Way to Dawn, and charging Sora. Sora summoned his keyblade to block Riku, but what astonished him the most: was that when his and Riku's keyblades met there was a white light. Both the boys were sent flying. When they looked up they saw Roxas with both Oblivion and Oathkeeper, drawn to both their necks. Oblivion to Riku's and Oathkeeper to Sora's. "Roxas is that you?!" Sora shouted quixotically. "Why is there something on my face?" Roxas asked while making Oblivion disappear and checking his reflection with Oathkeeper. Riku taking advantage of the situation, summoned his Way to Dawn to him and went to slash Roxas, but he was ready. Quickly he parried the blow with Oathkeeper and sent Riku back to the ground. "What are you doing Roxas?! Aren’t you supposed to be suppressed inside of Sora's head?" Riku asked exclaiming "Or something along those lines . . . I never really cared though." Roxas bluntly stated. "Uuuuuummmm, Axy?" Axel come out of a shadowy portally thing. "You rang?" Xion came after him. "Uuuuhhh, here they are, so tie um' up, but Xi (like Zi)? Can you wrangle up Kai?" Roxas asked. "Sure, after I find her of course." she said with a wink to Roxas. "Thanks Xi" he said with a wink back. "QUESTION!" Sora shouted while raising his hand. "This isn't school Sora, put your hand down. Ok, what is your question?" Roxas asked while Axel tied Sora and Riku up. "I thought you and Naminé . . . " Sora said while making a "+" sign with his fingers. "Oh, uuuummm, how should I put this? We don't see each other anymore. End of story." Roxas stated. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And that will be the end of the chap. hehe I hope you enjoyed.
Ch. 4 Another Question Sora?! "I’ve never been through one of those!" Sora exclaimed while they were going through a dark portally thing. "Sora . . . " Riku said while /facepalming himself "This isn't a field trip". "Quiet" Xion said quietly but not overwhelmingly loud as Axel might have, but it was like in-between in volume. "Wait!" Sora exclaimed, "I have another question!" "What is it now?!" Xion and Roxas said at the same time, obviously annoyed with him, then looked at each other and smiled. "Uuuummm . . . why can't we summon our Keyblades or use magic?" Sora asked. Riku and Kairi listened intently for the answer. "Illy goose." Xion said playfully " Its cuz' of the ropes tied around ur hands" "Oh. . . gotcha" Sora said. They were inside the darker side of The World That Never Was. Dusks came to see why there were three Keyblade wielders (three enemy Keyblade wielders) were just waltzing in. Xion, Axel and Roxas would take turns telling them the situation. They left shortly after they were told what was going on. Then other Nobodies came; then one of the Organization XIII members would explain; then they would leave. That cycle repeated until they got to The Castle That Never Was (the lesser Nobodies never entered there unless commanded to). "WOW . . . doesn’t this place . . ." Sora hesitated while looking side-to-side, bushy hair waving " look the same?" "Boy? Don't u evr shut up?" Xion asked looking at Sora as if he were one of those annoying people you would like to chuck off of a mountain. "Well . . . " Sora started. "I believe that was a rhetorical question, Sora" Kairi said warmingly and winked at him; then left a kiss on his lips. "Wow, wow, wow (Like whoa)" Axel said "None of that here. Unless you want to see me, Demy, Larxy, Xiggy, Zexy, and pretty much the rest of us, lose our lunch. But . . . if you are ok with that go right ahead. But did I mention we might puke on you? But if you are ok with that also, be my guest." "Axel? Do U evr shut up?" Xion asked, "It seems like Roxy and Xemy are the only ones I can stand." She said while leaving a kiss on Roxas' lips, as his cheeks turned red. "Please! I thought Nobodies didn’t have feelings" Axel and Riku stated annoyed. "Well I have 1 thing 2 say 2 u" Xion started. "We are special Nobodies. We weren’t created like other Nobodies. I dont want to explain why we are diff, cuz that would take 4 evr. I can tell u one way tho: Play Kingdom Hearts I and u will find out y Roxas waz created, or just till the end of Hollow Bastion part. As 4 mine, im guessing its cuz Riku let himself fade to darkness, cuz he isnt a heartless, r u?" "NO!!!" Riku exclaimed. "K, just checkin'" Xion said ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you like? CnC?
Right now im trying to come up why they arent together!! Spoiler No offense but It didnt seem to me like they had alot of bonding time, but him and Xion, they both were in the Organization together ssssoooo, thats why I like them together more =P oh and just like . . . i say 3 more posts of diff ppls and ill update it, to see if some ppls still interested
That's hilarious!!!! I loved it when Riku was like: "Listen to you heart..", I love that song xD I feel bad for Nami now though, I mean, who's she gonna be all smoochy on if it isn't Roxas? Marluxia?
Here is the next update, im just bored that is why im updating, lol, oh and it messed up again, lol---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ch 5. Plz don’t dissect me!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME DISECT YOU!!!!!!!!!" Vexen shouted running to Sora, Kairi and Riku; ignoring Axel, Roxas and Xion. But before he could get all the way to them, Zexion dropped kicked Vexen, saying "This isnt a Science Fair! But, uuuhhh, why do you have" Zexion pointed at Sora, Riku and Kairi "them?" "Superior asked us to get them. He didn’t tell us why." Roxas said. "OK! Just checking" Zexion said. "Uuuuhhh, like where is he anyway?" Roxas asked all confuzzled. "Hhhhhhmmmmm. That is a good question. I haven’t seen him since earlier . . . I think. Haha, sowy I don’ts have a good memwy, sowy Roxy." said Zexion looking like a puppy with big eyes (BIG CHIBI WATERY EYES) "Will you forgive me?" "Yea, it doesn’t really matter though. I'll just have to put these guys (and girl) in a cell or something." Roxas said while leading the pack away, before Zexion stopped them "What is it now Zexy?" "Uuuuuhhhh, Riky?" Zexion asked still with those 'Chibi Eyes'. "What?" Riku asked frustrated. "Sowy for the whole 'Castle Oblivion Event'. Will you forgive me?" "Uuuuhhhh I thought something happened to you though . . ." "Oh?" Zexion asks Roxas in whispers "Are we aloud to tell them?" "TELL US WHAT?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Sora asked exclaiming. "Yea . . . you guys are whispering right next to us." Kairi examined. Roxas and Zexion walked a few feet away. "Uh, if Xemy needs them, and they" Roxas pointed at the group " ' defeated ' him, I don’t see why not." Roxas observed. "OK! But you tell them" Zexion said. "Fine! Emo-Book-Boy." Roxas said trying to trick him up. "Uuuuhhh, sorry not gonna work" Zexion said while waving his finger, with a Xigbar imitiation. "OK, Xigbar." Roxas said in a playful manner. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo . . . Roxas explained that they had clones and stuff yada, wrada, wrada, wrada.* He ended up telling them on the way to the cell (Zexion had left once they agreed that Roxas would tell them the news) untying them (they were dazed to see that Roxas could really, I mean REALLY talk so much) and putting them in the cell. It was blank, full of grayness, whiteness, and the occasional splotch of black. (it was not like most cells with beds etc. it just had nothing except the colors, but those aren’t really colors now are they?) * = Author Note * = Tried to do a 'Schnitziel impression' from 'Chowder', not sure if any caught that* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well, how did you like it? Comment plz
