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May 27
The Matinée


Some kind of mercenary, from The Matinée

Onward we ride! KHV is back and kicking. Aug 3, 2021

Makaze was last seen:
Jun 23, 2022
    1. Terra254
      It says you're a male.
    2. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      I disagree very strongly with that. Though you are reminding me of the ideals of the King in Hero, though he had a reason for what he did in that he wanted to unite all the lands into China, whereas Hitler, I really don't see how completely destroying so many lives could have been for the greater good at all. I also need to say that I think you picked a hugely extreme example of something that is understandable but not acceptable ¬¬

      I don't think I have read anything by Rothfuss, what do you suggest? Orwell I know and like though. And fair enough.

      Even so, some people are happy with that because it gives the impression that they are loved, so they see themselves in the eyes of watchers as being in a position of adoration. Even though they really aren't.

      I was planning on responding to this in depth, but I am really not in the best mood right now, so I shall wait until the next VM I send when I am a little less emotional. I'm sorry to be a disappointment.

      I saw it a while ago but recently re-discovered it, I think it is beautiful. I liked your vid too, thank you for sharing.

      You're welcome, I'd loved it since I was 12 haha
    3. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      Well I personally don't understand his reasoning, in that I know what he was thinking and why he did what he did, but I am not understanding of it, so for me it isn't understandable or acceptable.

      Do you have an appreciation for the arts then? Who is your favourite artist? If you have one that is. Along with that, who is your favourite author? I never meant to imply you had no emotions, rather that I am envious of your control over yours. I have none.

      Exactly. Though I am now running out of room in my house for books xD;;

      You'd be surprised how many people are happy with falselove.

      Ok, I find you that you come across as being both arrogant and prideful, but it isn't enough to deter from the fact that you don't have a very high opinion of yourself. You use your intelligence to give you the upper hand and put you in a superior position to those you talk with, but it comes across as though you do this more to protect yourself and give yourself some sort of feeling of self worth than anything else. You sometimes come across as being too argumentative, debating for the sake of debating rather than because you feel strongly over the subject. I think you like it though, because you dislike for your mind to be unused. Sometimes I feel that you feel trapped or bound, but you try to dismiss it. I also think you do not think much about your physical appearance, this I assume based on your posts from the PYP thread. I do think you come across as loyal though, and honest to the point of bluntness, as well as stubborn. These are good qualities though, it means you stand by the things you believe in and won't be pushed from it. Though sometimes you could do with being more open minded.

      You may like this:

      Also, this is the poem:
    4. Terra254
      0_0 you're a boy?
    5. Boy Wonder
      Boy Wonder
      Wow, I actually remember that thread.
      Have you ever heard of Dwayne Johnson? He's an actor, former wrestler? Better known as The Rock?
    6. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      I didn't say it was right, I said it was acceptable and understandable in some cases. Maybe I just haven't been very clear.

      I wish I was more like you in that regard. I put so much faith and hope into people that I can't help but get hurt the moment even something small happens to shake it. When I love, I love so completely that I have no room for defences. But still, though I have been hurt a lot before, I still keep putting that trust and faith into people because without it, I think I'd be a very cold person. My emotions are one of my biggest weaknesses, and there have been times where I have wished that I could lock them up and never feel again, but my emotions are also a strength for me I think. I hope that one day you find someone, be it a friend or a lover, that you can put everything in to.

      I wish I was kidding, it is so completely awful. To the extent that students who didn't have a FaceBook were made to make one for the purposes of the class. Which I think is really wrong. I can see the positives of having things more digital and online, but when it comes to things like books or assignments or whatever, I prefer to have the actual thing in a real copy. I have a lot of friends who have those kindle things? But I could never see myself using one, I like reading books.

      Better to feel unloved until you find someone who truly loves, than to be falsely loved by a hundred people when you know deep down they couldn't care less.

      Haha, thanks, I'll have a look.

      Hmmm, I think I will decline to answer that for the time being. Either it will look like I am kissing ass, or it will be viewed insultingly, and I have no desire to be viewed either way. I promise I will answer when I have thought about how to answer. If it helps, I don't view you negatively.


      It made me think of you because of the idea of reality being a dream, and that actual the world we live in is a dream world. Not being able to fully distinguise between what is real and what isn't. Its one of my favourite poems, the other being The Highwayman by Alfred Noyes.
    7. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      I disagree. As a parent your priority is to keep your children safe and bring them up as best you can, this sometimes means self sacrifice, its different. This would be one of those times that isn't black and white.

      I think you are missing out to be honest.

      That is very true, everything is becoming so internet orientated that a lot of the time it can be a real struggle. Some schools now even give their homework assignments over facebook, which I think is awful.

      Very much so. Ah well, it is the world's loss.

      Fair enough, from the sounds of it you haven't had it rammed down your throat as much as I have, so I won't push you into hating it too :b

      Qualities similar to Kyoya or in general?

      Do you know A Dream Within A Dream by Poe? Its a favourite of mine and I was re-reading it earlier and it made me think of you.
    8. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      If they were stealing for the purpose of our family's survival then yes I would stop them do it myself, if they were stealing for the sake of stealing or general theft, I'd discipline them. The actions of a parent often look hypocritical to the child, but it isn't the same.

      Haha, then at least I can say this way I retreat with dignity instead of losing horribly.

      If being vulnerable is expecting success, then you aren't very vulnerable because you have an idea of where you'll get to. The majority of the things we do we do because we believe we'll have a degree of success and it will turn out ok, being vulnerable means we don't have that. I get what you mean as in you're not planning the outcomes, but I don't think you go into it with any form of expectation other than to just let go.

      But if I had of given in at the start, we'd have never had this discussion, and that would have been a shame I think.

      I never ragequit it, I just keep looking until I find what I am looking for. I do know the frustration of not finding ebooks, or you find them but you have to pay membership etc etc.

      I dislike it too, but I can say the same, people often grow bored of me and become distant before I do. I seem to be a novelty that wears off fast.

      Then you're lucky, I also dislike how games since then have been linked back to it. I like the series because its all so stand alone.

      I like hearing other people talk though, so its all good.

      You looked like a mashup of several anime characters, but mostly Kyoya from OHSHC
    9. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      That actually makes me angry just hearing about it :l I was in a similar case before, I was walking home and saw a bunch of teenagers beating the crap out of this kid, he only looked about 13. Some other people were stood watching and filming it, this woman and I pulled the guys off of him and got the kid home.

      It is not stupid at all, nor is it hypocritical. To make my children steal would be wrong. I wouldn't be stealing for the sake of it, it would be so my children didn't starve. It would be protecting them.

      I give up with this part of the discussion, my head feels too fluffy to be able to answer coherently @_@

      Sometimes, being vulnerable can be amazing. Its scary, but also, sometimes it is nice to be vulnerable and know that you could lose at any second.

      Well this is why I have begun to change, because I was tired of always carrying everyone else. I still help, and naturally I won't ever abandon them, but they've grown to appreciate me more now.

      I got what you were saying anyway, I was just being argumentative, but I think we have done this topic to death now haha.

      I don't think I've ever actually ragequit anything, ever.

      Wow o_O though its a little petty to never talk to someone again because of it.

      Well, type exactly how you would speak it, that would make it instantly less formal. Out of curiosity though, what do you do for fun?

      heh, I have issues with FFVII, I liked the game, hate the fanbase >_>

      Thank you, though I do get people tell me they find it irritating >_> especially when I talk fast, or I find something cute. Apparently I begin talking at a pitch only animals can hear ._.;

      You were in my dream last night, you were sad because you thought you weren't pretty.
    10. LARiA
      Wait, why? Is it because I don't have enough posts?

      I must post more so that my reps towards you are of use! Off I go, now.
    11. LARiA
      My reps are worth nothing? You are too kind.
    12. LARiA
      NO, IT WAS POSITIVE. I MADE SURE. "I approve"!

      I think that you are lying! I am sure that it was positive...
    13. Firekeyblade
      No I really don't. I suck at chess.
    14. Firekeyblade
      Ohhhh......That's genius. >_> Well, unfortunately, my knights aren't that godly with their defense. Or speed. Some are kind of on the border. -_-
    15. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      What is the angriest you have ever been?

      No it isn't stupid, she would have been stealing for the sake of herself and her children. Getting the children to steal would have been wrong as that would be encouraging it and would be as bad for them as the prostitution would have been. It would be more selfish to expect them to steal for me, when it is I as their parent, that had let them down.

      I see your point, I hadn't thought about it that way.

      When you have power you can have any morals you like. Don't forget that morals are different for each person, when you have power you are better able to execute and stick to your own particular set of morals.

      Oh, I thought last night that you appeared to, my mistake. And also, I am surprised, I had heard differently about how long you'd known her. I know what you mean as well, it is the same for me offline, my group of friends is, well, they're pretty harmful actually. They are not good for me, I'd tell you why but I don't really like to plaster my personal life out for everyone to see. I know it is hard to lower defenses, but you know, if everything was always easy, it would never feel like an accomplishment.

      I always feel like I have a lot of responsibilities to people, really it is because of how I was brought up. You already know a little about my sisters, so as you can imagine, the weight of responsibility falls to me, and it has remained that way pretty much all of my life.

      I am lost now.

      I will fully agree with you on that. This will sound really lame, but sometimes I can spend hours researching something or experimenting with something just to figure it out and learn it.

      Close to have someone figure me out and know me, like really know me. I had that exact conversation with a friend a few months ago, he was always asking questions about what I'd do if A happened, or what I'd do if B were to occur. It drove me insane.

      Maybe do it slowly, like loosen up a little with it and then just find a level that you're comfortable with. It sucks when you get caught up in patterns and such. But if you aren't currently happy with it, then a change is needed.

      Haha, I know that feeling, but honestly FFX is a great game, definitely one of the best in the series.

      I'm sorry by the way for taking so long to reply to this, especially as it is nowhere near as long as my recent ones. I also wish to tell you that you have quite a nice voice from what I have heard so far.
    16. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      Self hatred can be much worse than hatred directed outwards. Its true, you could potentially snap, but again, I don't see it happening. You come across as too much in control.

      I have little to respect for her for that. Think about it, prostitution is hardly a safe job to have, she could catch something, or get herself hurt or even killed, she would be brining her children up in the world with out instilling self respect in them. It is selfish, and stupid. It would be nice if the world could be made such a place, but I doubt we shall see it in either of our lifetmes. I wouldn't say it is much to do with strength, rather, condition of living. As in, it is very easy to sit on the moral hgh ground and bear judgement, if you live forever in a happy comfort zone where the only thing you have to worry about is paying off the credit cards. I'd say that money and power are the keys to being able to have morals and not have to worry about straying away from them. That said, those in a position of money and power tend to be the ones causing the problems for others. I'd much rather be myself, and sometimes have to spiral into the grey zone.

      You imply you still hold faith in the human race, maybe some faith in individuals wouldn't be so bad either. And you seem to be fairly close with Lari and Zter at least, though I know online friendship doesn't always fill the place of those irl. Maybe you need to let your defenses down a little.

      Then I guess it is a good thing for you. I wouldn't be able to say what keeps me from going down that path, it sounds horribly corny if I am to say that it is the people in my life that keep me grounded.

      Again, "How do you know? You only assume as such because that is what logic tells you, but if all of this is a dream, then who is to say that what is logical to us here and now, is actually the way of it."

      I do get what you mean, and I love the feeling of learning new things, but, whilst it feels great, it is also frustrating, because if you could just open it all up, you'd be able to just take the knowledge already. That being said, the paths we take to learn X and Y are pretty important to. So I guess it makes sense that we have to work for the things we do know.

      I can be manipulative, but I dislike to be, by creating occurences and experiences for the sole reason of seeing how thise I observe will react, it leads me back to the place of being the only one. It is odd, I hate to have a lack of control, but the thought of being the one holding the strings and having that form of control over others, I don't care for it. If you're the one holding the strings, then when they become tangled ultimately you're the one at fault, and I would rather not be the reason they all fall down. That being said, sometimes I really wish I could, I'd love to see the reactions, and I can dream up a million different things I'd like to test, but I am hesitant. I dislike being treated like a science project, and I'd hate to make someone else feel like they were. Ha, it is frustrating isn't it? Sometimes I have almost thought people were close to it, but sadly they were a disappointment. Maybe one day it will happen for us both.

      I don't like to dumb myself down, but I often do, intelligence can be intimidating. Think of it like with animals, sometimes you have to come to their level to put them at ease. Plus it is a kickback from when I was at school; I was often placed in higher classes because the ones I was in were becoming too easy, and a lot of people resented that. So I began hiding it, sadly it is something that has stuck. I will agree though that sometimes I do feel like I am decreasing my IQ and it can be hard to rework your brain back into shape. If you dislike being so formal, why do you choose to be? Intelligence isn't just about how you say the things you say, the content is the core of it.

      Ah, then I shall say no more, except to say its a terrific game.
    17. Firekeyblade
      Take weapons away? Are you saying I wait it out until the enemy unit's weapon breaks? I know of a guy who actually does that. -_- But I'm too impatient because it takes too long.
    18. Firekeyblade
      Mages....I's just difficult to use them often. Since I tend to throw caution and foresight to the wind sometimes when playing Fire Emblem. So then I would place a mage in a vulnerable position for the sake of killing and gaining EXP but then they would get severely wounded. -_- And potentially die. And then i'd start all over again. And oh my gosh Ewan. Kid was driving me insane trying to train him and keep him alive at the same time. The two things I value most are SPEED(for dodging purposes) and DEFENSE(so if they're like elephants they don't get hurt anyway) But more with speed. And I never used Dozla much...seemed too powerful while I'm training the weaker people.
    19. Firekeyblade
      Hahahahahaha! XD Dude, are you serious? Yeah, with me it was just... it's ahrd to train mages of any kind anyway. Since they all ahve such low defense. And sometimes they have low speed and luck to boot. And it was just a hassle. I regret it now, but I always did want to train Knoll into a shaman. Since he's the only dark mage you get. XD Also, that was pretty fast. With the reply.
    20. Catch the Rain
      Catch the Rain
      I think we have all done pretty messed up things from time to time, and whilst I agree that anyone can snap, and that people are ultimately unpredictable, I just can not imagine you snapping to an extent it would drive you to kill someone. From what you have said, so little seems to phase you, that I actually can't really imagine you getting angry at other people full stop. Please correct me if I am wrong, but you seem more inclined to be angry with yourself.

      I think my borderlines are more hazy, because if a person who was starving did steal the bread, I wouldn't find it wrong. If that was the only option that they had then I wouldn't find it wrong, just sad. Interestingly, I remember watching a documentary once about families who struggle, and this one woman said that she would sooner become a prostitute than steal, because then it would still be trading and not theft. I found that more distasteful than the idea of stealing. That this woman who had 3 young children would willingly sell her body. I actually found the idea more selfish than stealing would have been. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude or anything like that, but I think there are more risks and backlash associated with prostitution than there would have been with stealing, yet she, and others, saw it differently because there was still the element of an exchange.

      Maybe not, but if you did, then it is assumed they'd have become close enough to acknowledge those faults. I find it sad that you think that about your friends, I'm curious, how highly do you value yourself? Apparently so, and I have to admit, I've changed an awful lot over the past few years. If you had of joined at the same time as me, you'd be talking to someone extremely different right now, to put it bluntly I was a naive little twit with no backbone and way too naive. Ha, I actually think you'd have looked down your nose at me, I don't know if you do currently or not, but you would have done then.

      You seem to hold your morals in extreme high regard, this isn't a bad thing, I just wonder if maybe it is some sort of defense mechanism. You won't be able to go through life with a perfectly clean conscience, I just hope that if and when you do happen to choose wrong, that you don't destroy yourself because of it.

      How do you know? You only assume as such because that is what logic tells you, but if all of this is a dream, then who is to say that what is logical to us here and now, is actually the way of it. It is entirely possible that within someone else's dream other people have selfawareness. Though admittedly, Descartes had his theories pretty soundly down.

      I have actually heard that theory before, it is one of the theories given for the occurence of deja vu, that locked inside of our minds we already know everything that will come to pass, we just haven't realised and unlocked it yet, and that when we experience deja vu, it is like water leaking out from behind the locked door. I admit it is certainly possible, and it would make a lot of sense, but the idea of the mind knowing everything, including the things we don't yet "know" ourselves, is hard to have much faith in. Its a nice idea though, it would mean that everything we know, and everything we have yet to discover, is somewhere safe and secure. On the other side, it would mean that there is nothing truly new to learn and discover.

      I rarely feel the need to entertain people, and to be honest I usually prefer to take a backseat and stay on the sidelines, though I often find myself being yanked out into the middle of, sometimes against my will and/or my better judgement. I like to observe, I do not particularly like being observed myself. Though I admit I am always amused watching people trying to figure me out, I live in hope that someday someone actually will.

      It is not, I think I will go through my history from the past couple of days, I imagine it will turn up somewhere, though knowing my luck, I shall find it and it will be something that proves to be lame after the buildup.

      I don't have conversations like this with a lot of people, I am used to having to dumb myself down, and yes I know I may come across as being quite stupid, and I am trying not to increase that image. I need the time to think about what I am reading, and how I wish to respond, unfortunately this has led to some bizarre tangents in my mind, but I always find myself pulled back in soon enough.

      I like talking with you, it makes me think. And not just about random fluff.

      I was going to use an example from FFX but I don't know if you've ever played it and I don't want to ruin it for you.
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    May 27
    The Matinée
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    Good luck.


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    • I hold you in the highest regard, my friends.

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