This is a story I wrote for my Creative Writing Class, it's pretty good but i must warn you there are a lot of spelling errors tell me what you think We Are Amily The Fargos are far from your average, ordinary family. Mr. Fargo is a middle aged man with a 7th grade education. Itâ€™s not that his parents couldnâ€™t afford schooling or he was dumb or anything like that. Itâ€™s simply that he refused to enter 8th grade because he didnâ€™t want to graduate. His explanation is that he didnâ€™t want to wear a gown because it made him look girly, and he didnâ€™t want to become a cross dresser like his brother. Few people believe this story, particularly because Mr. Fargo was an only child. Mr. Fargo is currently employed at a factory that makes both glue and mayonnaise. Mrs. Fargo, previously Ms. Phillips, is a middle aged woman who is a poet, or so she claims. When in 4th grade she wrote a poem about her pet cat, Scruffles, and got an A+. Since then she claims she is a great poet, however she has not wrote a single poem since then due to the fear that she will never surpass her previous work. She met Mr. Fargo when they were both contestants on Jeopardy, neither one of them got any questions right, but they both fell in love nevertheless. It was a good day for the third contestant as well. They are proud parents of six children. Their oldest son, Jon, is 23 years old and is currently living in their basement. Jon is 6Â½ feet tall and has a Mohawk and is missing several teeth. He usually just wears one of his tie-dyed t-shirts and his underwear. Everyday, he has the same routine. He wakes up at noon and has a bowl of Capâ€™n Crunch and pours sugar on it. Heâ€™ll watch several episodes of The Jerry Springer Show; then watch the motion picture Napoleon Dynamite. Heâ€™ll then run upstairs and grab some food from the family dinner; and run down stairs as quickly as possible so he has to spend as little time with his family as possible. Heâ€™ll then play the videogame Dance Dance Revolution for three hours. After that, heâ€™ll watch the motion picture Napoleon Dynamite for a second time, and then go to bed. His mom begs him to get a job, but he refuses to get a job until heâ€™s done living life to its fullest. The twins, Julius and Vincent, are both seniors in high school. Julius is a walking encyclopedia. He has a photographic memory and studies 7 hours a day. He can tell you anything from Guy Oliver Nickalls, a British rower who competed in the 1920 and 1928 Summer Olympics to every single battle in World War II; he knows lots and lots and lots and lots of information. However Julius is afraid of girls. Not afraid as in too shy to talk to them, but instead he believes that all women are violent and are plotting to kill him. Vincent, on the other hand is very much intrigued by girls. He often tries to impress them with his knowledge. However, Vincent has ADD and can never stay focus in school. He is basically a walking Wikipedia, in other words he makes up information to impress people. He can tell you all about how the Canadians bombed Pearl Harbor and that we landed on Mars in 1969. Robert is a junior in high school. Robert suffers from claustrophobia, the fear of confined spaces. However, heâ€™s always believed that it is best to face problems head on. Therefore, he sleeps standing up in his closet. Eli is the youngest child and the only daughter of Mr. And Mrs. Fargo. She is 4 years of age. She has one blue eye and one green eye, and at one point she one blue eye, one green eye, and pink eye. She often watches Teletubbies and Horror Films such as Hostel, Childâ€™s Play, and many others. Strangely, she claims the scariest movie sheâ€™s ever seen was Monsterâ€™s Inc. The youngest son of the family is 14 year old Jeffrey. However they donâ€™t call him Jeffrey. One day during the second grade Jeff accidentally blurted out the notorious â€œf wordâ€, you know which one Iâ€™m talking about. He later served a detention. Since then Jeffrey tried his hardest to avoid saying that bad word. So he never said or wrote the letter F or even a PH sound ever again. For example the sentence â€œFive foolish fools forgot their phone numbersâ€ would become â€œIve oolish ools orgot their one numbersâ€. However since he canâ€™t say the Fâ€™s in his name he has since then gone by the name Jerey Argo. The Fargos also have 73 relatives. However this is a short story, not a novel so weâ€™ll stick to those 8. Today is the first day of high school. â€œKids, do you want waffles or French toast.â€ asked Mrs. Fargo. â€œIâ€™ll have wales.â€ replied Jerey. Since, Mrs. Fargo was used to Jereyâ€™s strange grammar; she immediately knew what he wanted. â€œDid you know that French toast is called pain perdu in France?â€ asked Julius. â€œYeah, well, a waffle is called Le Waff in France.â€ replied Vincent. â€œNo, they arenâ€™t; you just made that up.â€ said Julius. â€œOh, no Hilary Duff is sneaking up on you!â€ said Vincent. Julius then ran out the room screaming. â€œQuit scaring your brother.â€ scolded Mrs. Fargo. The first class Jerey had was Freshman English. â€œAlright class, my name is my Mr. Flame.â€ said Mr. Flame. â€œMy class shouldnâ€™t be too hard. Just follow the directions, and donâ€™t turn in papers that look like they were written by drunk monkeys and you should be fine. Now for your first assignment describe your friends and family.â€ Two days later, Mr. Flame was holding Jereyâ€™s paper. â€œWhat is this?â€ asked Mr. Flame. â€œUhâ€¦.the paper I wrote.â€ replied Jerey. â€œIs the F on your keyboard broken?â€ questioned Mr. Flame. â€œNo.â€ replied Jerey. â€œThen why was every single F taken away. I asked you to talk about your family not your amily whatever that is! And my name is certainly not Mr. LAME!â€ exclaimed Mr. Flame. â€œI know.â€ replied Jerey. â€œThen why didnâ€™t you put any Fâ€™s on this paper?â€ asked Mr. Flame. â€œI never use that letter.â€ answered Jerey. â€œWell, until you start putting Fâ€™s on your paper; Iâ€™ll be putting my own Fâ€™s on your paper.â€ He then wrote a big fat red F on Jereyâ€™s paper. Jerey was mad! He worked hard on that paper. It was dinner time. Jon had run upstairs, grabbed a burger, and ran back down stairs. He did this all without making eye contact and not saying one word to anyone. â€œHow was school everyone?â€ asked Mrs. Fargo. â€œPointless. I didnâ€™t learn a single new thing.â€ replied Julius. â€œWell, today in biology, I learned about the deadly, British snake called the monty python.â€ said Vincent. â€œMonty python is not an animal!â€ replied Julius. â€œBritney Spears!â€ yelled Vincent. Julius then ran out of the room screaming. â€œFor Godâ€™s sake, canâ€™t you boys behave themselves? My brother and I never fought.â€ said Mr. Fargo. â€œDad, you were an only child.â€ said Robert. Mr. Fargo just ignored his sonâ€™s comment and continued eating. â€œCan I have some more ries?â€ asked Jerey. â€œSure, how was your day Jeffâ€¦um I mean Jerey?â€ said Mrs. Fargo. â€œNot too good. My English teacher gave me that letter between E and G on my paper.â€ replied Jerey. â€œThatâ€™s a shame. English was always my favorite subject. Thatâ€™s where I began my love for poetry.â€ said Mrs. Fargo. The next English class, Mr. Flame said. â€œI want you all to write me a paper telling me what you do for fun, and remember spelling counts.â€ Mr. Flame gave a nasty look at Jerey. Later that night, Jerey wrote a paper that was 1,000 more words than what was required. He filled it with some of the best metaphors and similes ever written in a paper. Every single person, place, and thing were extremely well detailed. It was perhaps one of the best papers ever written with the exception that it didnâ€™t contain the letter F at all. With the hopes that all the positive things about his paper would overlook the one negative thing, Jerey handed in his paper to Mr. Flame. Mr. Flame took one look at the first line, and put a big fat red F on it. â€œNow class, for your next paper. I want you to write about what you were like when you were four or five.â€ requested Mr. Flame. â€œGeez, how much homework is he gonna give us?â€ whispered an ugly blond boy whose underwear was showing. â€œI know he gives us way too much. Well, at least its easy. I got an A+ on the last one.â€ whispered a short kid with red hair. â€œYeah, this is the easiest class ever to get an A in.â€ replied the first boy. The next class with a crooked grin on his face, Mr. Flame asked Jerey â€œMay I see your paper?â€ â€œGo aheadâ€ replied Jerey. Jerey pulled out a blank piece of paper. â€œWhy didnâ€™t you do it?â€ asked Mr. Flame. â€œWhy bother?â€ replied Jerey. Mr. Flame then wrote a big fat red F on the paper. Jerey then wrote the letters â€œu, c, and kâ€ next to the big fat red F, and the word â€œyouâ€ on the paper. He then shoved the paper in Mr. Flameâ€™s face. Jerey then ran out of the room yelling â€œUck you Mr. Lame!â€ Later that day, Jerey, his parents, Mr. Flame, and the principal all met in the principalâ€™s office. â€œAlright, Flame, this better be important. Iâ€™m a very busy man.â€ said the principal. â€œThis boy here has no respect for me or human decency!â€ exclaimed Mr. Flame. â€œWhat did he do?â€ asked Mrs. Fargo. â€œHe doesnâ€™t use Fâ€™s at all! He shoved paper in my face! He said â€˜uck youâ€™ to me!â€ exclaimed Mr. Flame as his face began turning red. â€˜Is that all?â€ replied Mr. Fargo who smiled slightly. â€œWaitâ€¦what?â€ replied the confused principal. â€œOur boy doesnâ€™t use the letter F at all.â€ explained Mrs. Fargo. â€œWait, you knew about this?â€ asked Mr. Flame. â€œYeah, heâ€™s been doing it for 7 years. Most teachers just learn to live with it. So quit your whining.â€ said Mr. Fargo. â€œBut itâ€™s not normal!â€ replied Mr. Flame. â€œWell, none of our kids are normal. Last night I watched Saw with my little girl, Eli. I vomited and she was laughing throughout the film. My other son, Vincent, thinks that the Eiffel Tower is in Mexico. Perhaps, it is better to not be normal. If being normal meansng a sad, little man who complains about anything out of the ordinary. For what makes us not normal is what makes usâ€¦who we are, and we should be proud of it!â€ said Mr. Fargo. â€œWell, all I know is that Iâ€™m sick of kids constantly dropping F bombs in my school. This kid is a breath a fresh air in my opinion. So, like they said. Learn to live with it and quit whining.â€ replied the principal. Mr. Flame then walked out of the room muttering to himself. â€œLetâ€™s go home.â€ said Mrs. Fargo. â€œSee you tomorrow Mr. Lame!â€ said Jerey as he waving.