Am I Worth It?

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by ShibuyaGato, Jul 27, 2013.

  1. ShibuyaGato Transformation

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    Lately, I feel that just about everything I do is purposeless. I'm full of regret and self-doubt -- I've actually been deliberating on whether or not I should make this thread for a few weeks now -- and I can't even do simple assignments without screwing up or putting it off to the very last second. Sure I got above-average scores on my SAT and ACT without really trying, but the point is that I didn't study nearly as much as I should have. Even with editing, the one thing I love and hope to do for the rest of my life, I can hardly bring myself to make anything let alone finish it. I have no desire to do anything "productive" and I'm just tired of the fear and dread that's always looming on the horizon. I'm really sick of feeling like I'm not living up to everyone's expectations, and I hate regretting 98% of the things I do, including making this (I feel like I'm just whining about all of this since I'm not depressed, suicidal or on meds for anything). I don't know what I can do apart from keeping up the façade, because every time I tell myself that I'm going to change, I don't.
     
  2. Arch Mana Knight

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    First off, don't worry about living up to anyone's expectations other than your own. That's a fast track to depression and many people have been in that situation. As for not having the will to really do things, even if it's something you like...well my advice is to ask yourself what you really want to work on. Something specific. Generalizations of what goals you want to achieve won't help you. You need something specific to work towards, something that really means something to you. What you need is focus and that's not something you can just pull out of thin air.

    You're not in a terrible situation though. There's no set cure for procrastination other than just sheer force of will or a swift kick in the ass. Preferably you'll choose the former.
     
  3. Amaury Legendary Hero

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    You shouldn't live up to anyone's expectations besides your own. That'll only make it worse for you in the long run.

    In regards to lack of motivation, if you can't get motivated, force yourself to do it. You can also reward yourself for accomplishing things, something you can look forward to. E.g., "Okay, if I finish my research paper by this evening, I can play video games for the rest of the night."

    I don't really know what else to say, but I hope this helps!
     
  4. Mish smiley day!

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    If you're stuck in a productive rut, set yourself small goals that are easy to achieve - if you have a big project to do, break it down into manageable chunks. Give yourself little rewards for accomplishing things. If you haven't done something that you set out to do, don't watch that episode of Doctor Who/Supernatural/whatever until after you've done it.

    Also, reiterating what Machina said about concentrating on living up to your own expectations before you think about anyone else.
     
  5. Hiro ✩ Guardian

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    Alright, let's see here...

    I really cannot stress enough that you should not focus on anyone's expectations besides your own becaus that leads to either depression or it'll make procrastination worse because you'll always worry about what others believe. Focus on who YOU want to be, and what YOU expect from yourself.

    As for procrastination, just set a specific goal and the sheer willpower to do it should be the solution. It's hard to do it, believe me, I know, but that's all you can do.
     
  6. Misty gimme kiss

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    It sounds to me like you're burnt out. It would happen to me a lot in high school, particularly in senior year. I disagree with those telling you to just force yourself--it's summer. Take a few days, sleep in, relax, recuperate. Consider it a mental health break. Give yourself a set time for it of course, else you'll never stop, but you should have some time to focus on you--what you want, what you're interested, and how much effort you should put into things for yourself.

    Everyone is right though, you can't live to please others. SAT and ACT scores are important, but scoring high just for the sake of scoring high is silly. If you can easily get the scores you need to get into your dream school without too much studying, that's fantastic. Don't make yourself feel guilty for being a gifted student.

    If you're not really feeling a hobby, even something you love like video editing, you may just need a break from it. Cultivate a new hobby, or revisit an old one. If you truly love something, you'll want to return to it in time. Unfortunately the same mentality can't be applied to school--you can't just really kick up your feet and say "man I'm not really feeling Calculus this week"--but your hobbies should be things you enjoy, not chores.
     
  7. Daydreamer

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    Apathy is tough, I feel this way too. When things stray in emotional meaning, to not care for anything, to not want to do anything, feeling fake. It's debilitating and paralyzing. "Sorry to tell you this, but you're fucked." This is something someone actually told me when I opened up to him. "Fucked" seems like the right word to describe how we feel where we are in life. I myself skipped school weeks at a time but still passed exams with flying colors. I get tired of reminding myself of sentimental things to be cheerful. It's hard to rationalize your way out. Life is boring and pointless. Feelings of emptiness or worthlessness is depression, so don't cut yourself short, or feel guilty for not having an "actual problem." It might help to find someone to talk to about your feelings, someone you trust. A good friend, or you can attend support groups, or therapy. Or keep talking about your feelings online, where it's anonymous. Therapy might require telling your parents, but all they need to know is that it is bad enough that you want something to change and want to get help for it.
     
  8. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

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    Cat, I can't believe I've only seen this now. Anyway, if you are still chilling out in this rut then I shall offer some advice otherwise you can take it whenever you get back there.

    First off, you should definitely take a break, procrastination is something that drains us because we feel the need to accomplish things. I get this if I feel I haven't met my expectation and it can either be harnessed to motivate you so you don't do it again or will push you further into your rut. It'll make you feel depressed for not meeting your expectations so the workload seems even worse the next day as it is now accompanied by that negative feeling of yesterday and that fear of never meeting your own expectation let alone other peoples. The main way to get out of this is to tell yourself that you can do this work, you just need to DO it and try and clear your mind of all those negative thoughts. You need some determination to get out of this hole so that you can be free from it. Once you've done the first one with little procrastination (hopefully turning off the internet and getting someone to take away your phone or something- although I like to have my phone next to me and I tend to go on Subway surfers every half an hour just to give my mind a bit of a break and recuperate) then you will feel a great sense of accomplishment which will boost your self esteem so you can hopefully do it again the next time you have work. You just have to keep at it, after I have done a load of work, I may feel exhausted but it's a sense of achievement as well and then I hang onto that feeling so I can remember what it feels like, which then motivates me the next time.

    Yes, it is basically a sense of achievement which will help you and it does feel good. As with not enjoying editing, that's just because you get bored quickly and then never complete one which then demotivates you- perhaps editing isn't something you want to spend your life doing. I think fanfiction is something you can do to release your creative feelings as you have a lot of them in your head but experiment with different things until you find something that really makes you happy. Lay off editing for now and maybe one day your brain will crave Sony Vegas once again so you can then go pick it up and hopefully enjoy it a bit more : D