Hello, my lovely discussion forum. I would like to pose a small question to you: Can you hold up a decent, civilised, non awkward conversation with your Ex? If no, why? If yes, how? Personally, Ive been single 74 days (according to this Days Until app) and Im happy. But my ex was my best friend before we started going out. I really want to try and hold up a decent conversation without him paying me out about something. It should be known that I did the breaking and therefore any spiteful tones he gives me are completely my fault. I just wanna know about your experiences. How do you deal with the awkwardness around your ex?
To me, inability to carry a conversation with an.ex, is most likely a sign of immaturity. However, break ups.can end badly, in which case I get it. I can easily carry a conversation with at least 4 of my ex-girlfriends. It will only be awkward if you make it so.
I can, quite easily we share casual conversations, or we used to rather, we run in different circles now but at the time, there was never any problem, if you hope to be any sort of mature adult in the future, the way you handle things like a break up and the encounters afterwords helps to shape what sort of one you'll be. All about being mature like Noroz said.
If the break up was alright, agreed upon or just feelings had gone by both people to some level then I suppose. If it went badly in any point of the relationship, then it's understandable if it doesn't work out perfectly. Most all relationships i've seen where people talk to their exs is kind of mish mashed, sometimes, it's alright, sometimes eh not so much... Try your best if you want or try to avoid. Wither choice is alright.
A bit of both, first I would get things off my chest that I didn't before, then I would talk about the good times we did, but she's an a-hole so it would be a very bad idea.
There are some cases in which I can't, so maybe I picked the wrong choice, but I'm easy going with the ones that matter. I mean really, they fell for me and I eventually fell for them, so it's not like I'm the one who should be most awkward. I know that probably sounds horrible, but despite popular belief, I'm actually very good at putting people at ease, unless they're completely hysterical (like my mother), so if they ever feel bad, I just comfort them, but have them know that it can no longer be like it used to. Normally, I never tread on the past when it comes to non-familial relationships, I know when it's time to move on, but understand why other's cant, so this allows me to speak easily with past lovers. Yes, I do refer to them as past lovers.
It's been a while since I last talked with my ex but it isn't because it's awkward but more because we just lost contact with each other after high school. It's a shame really because I consider her one of my closest friends. It wasn't like that at first though after the break-up. At first she hated my guts and she seemed to go out of her to insult me and get her friends to do the same but I usually just ignored it and let it slide. I was the one who broke up with her so I sort of felt that her being angry was justified and I thought that she'd cool down with time. After almost a year, we started talking again because we had a lot of classes together and we just went back to the way things were before we dated. Right now we're friends who just happened to have dated each other now. We both realized how well we didn't do in a relationship but we still liked each other as friends. We even joke about our past relationship with each other. Not all break-ups can be like this unfortunately. Some do leave a mark that we can never remove but most will usually just need some time and maturity and things will mend themselves.
I personaly think it depends on who you are, and who they are, as people. If one of you is childish or immature, then there's going to be problems. It also, as people have said, depends on the circumstances of said breakup. Ones that hurt one person usually leave them feeling bitter and spiteful after a while, and that can cause problems.
My ex and I didn't get very far, just a lot of hugging, so maybe that's why. She and I ride the bus to school together, and we talk like normal, heck, she still hugs me. I guess it depends on how it went in the relationship and how mature both of you are.
i can actually talk to a lot of exes, mostly because our relationship didn't mean much of anything, except to have fun for a little while. my last ex, though..i haven't talked to him since we broke up. i had lived with him for nearly four months and he kind of began scaring me with some of things he was saying (wanting to get married, have kids, etc.) and i am just not that type of person. i called my parents and had them pick me up about three weeks before i left for college. i officially broke up with him a week after i went to college, since i could not work up the courage to sooner. i was immature about the situation, but i didn't know how else to deal with it. i ignored his texts and calls because i could not face him or risk hearing his voice. i feel like i completely destroyed his life because i really did. he had this entire picture planned out and i ruined it for him.
For a while my ex of 2 years ago didn't talk because we both didn't like each other because we both thought each other were the most terrible person ever! But after my most recent break up with my recent ex, me and him have become close and we can talk now. It was awkward for the first day when I came up to him and...well how about I tell you what happened: Me:"I am sorry if I was a big pain in the butt to you during our relationship and I am sorry if I hurt you!" Ex:"....Uh..." Me: "Um...yeah...I wanted to tell you that because I know how you felt now... or how you might have felt when we broke up..." Ex: "Ooooh so you and your boyfriend broke up." Me: *nod* *shame* Ex: *pats head* its okay. But smile, Jesus, women you look terrible when you frown." *stupid grin on face* After that we started to talk and I realized the reason he dated my friend (which was one of the other reasons why i hated him) was because he thought he loved her. All I'm saying is that once 2 people could get passed the reason why they broke up, if it ended badly, then you could talk again. ^.^ ~~~NoNo Out <3
It's definitely possible, depending on the circumstances of your break-up. If they cheated on you, or you on them, it may take quite a bit longer (perhaps even a new stable relationship on both sides) for a normal conversation to redevelop, but even then I've seen it happen. Of course, if they killed your little brother and keep his head in a jar in their room, reconciliation might be a tad more difficult.
