Creatura quod le Luna

Discussion in 'Archives' started by rikufanattic, Dec 2, 2007.

  1. rikufanattic Merlin's Housekeeper

    Nov 25, 2007
    in the sunny state
    This is something that hopefully gets published in my school's newspaper, I'm crossing my fingers. The minimum is three pages, that sort of kills my writing though. But tell me what you think.

    Creatura quod le Luna

    Chapter 1: Primary Sight

    The young teen walked down the noisy hallway, it was the Christmas season and bright colors of green and red, with gold tinsel, and plastic candy canes decorated the hallways as the students walked through the area reaching their classes. The young teenager, around seventeen or so looked in the distance and noticed several people standing by the reception desk.

    “Leila!†someone called out from behind her and she looked in back of her. Her friends were waving at her to hurry up. She smiled and walked down the hallway, but not before stealing a glance back, but the people were gone, no one was at the reception desk. ‘Strange…’ she thought and continued on her way to class.

    “Did you do the assignment?†a female student asked, she was roughly around the age of 17 but her appearance made her seem older. Her name was Diana Huyer, one of Leila’s bosom buddies as she liked to call them. She had slightly dark brown hair that went down to her shoulders. Diana looked at the light brown skinned girl and sighed as she seemed to be lost in thought. “Just to make it easier on yourself I hear someone new is going to be entering today.â€

    “Someone new?†Leila asked looking up slightly down at her. “I guess those were the people at the desk…†she said to herself remembering the small group.

    “Anyway…†another girl butted in laughing at a joke she remembered. “I hear that you’re not going to the dance, Leila. Care to elaborate?†she asked. Leila could feel the piercing gaze of Diana on her as well.

    “No date.†She said simply and tried to get them to move from another topic.

    “It’s our last year in this high school and all you can think about is not having a date…†the girl that was slightly taller than the other two spoke out. “Jeez Leila, not everything’s about having dates…†the girl said. She seemed to be filled with sayings most of the time, due to her love of books. She was slightly taller and fuller in a sense of the female body. Her hair was long in the front and short in the back.

    “You’ve got looks going for you though, Moni.†Leila said stopping at the door to their next class. “Ugh, Spanish AP…†she said letting her hand rest on the doorknob. Something started to make the hairs on her neck stand up and she shivered. Both Moni and Diana noticed the reaction and looked at one another inquisitively. “I just felt something… weird… like someone was watching me.†She said looked up at them, she felt she could trust them.
    “You sure…?†the teen with dark shaggy mahogany hair asked. He leaned into his desk and tried to get his hair back to its original style. He felt his bangs cover one of his eyes and he seemed pleased, he didn’t like to mess with his cap. He had light skin, slightly fleshier tone than pale, and brown eyes that seemed to match his hair at times. A friend of his was sitting to the left of him, another on his right, and one behind him.

    “Darn it Lecra, you mean you can’t tell by her scent?†the one in back asked and scoffed. “You’re more of a pup than I thought.â€

    “Knock it off, Aden.†A slightly pale looking teen responded in a musical tone. Aden smiled knowing that Lecra, the teen with dark mahogany hair was probably doubting his abilities now.

    “You protect him too much, Peter.†Aden said leaning back into his chair. He looked at the slightly pale Peter as his eyes displayed a strange laughing nature. Peter had fashionable bangs, and a light spiky texture in the back. Aden on the other hand was tan with chocolate eyes, and he had blue streaks in his black hair, he had long hair in the front and the back was cut short.

    “Be quiet you guys…†the voice in front whispered catching their attention all the same. This person’s name was Edward, he had dark brown shaggy that at the back curled up a bit. A three girl group walked past them and sat in their usual spots, behind them. Two of them were light skinned, and the other one seemed to have a slightly dark tone to their skin. They all wore the same uniform though cotton collared shirts, plaid blue skirts with the matching tie, navy knee high socks, and matching black penny-loafers. The guys on the other hand wore the same shirt, a black tie, matching black pants, and different types of black shoes.

    “That’s her isn’t it?†Peter asked leaning towards Lecra. Lecra didn’t respond and looked down, a sign that Peter didn’t like all to well.
    ‘He’s starting to lose it…’ Peter thought looking back at Aden and to Edward. Aden nodded slightly and looked behind him. He noticed Moni and her group of small friends. Leila for some reason couldn’t keep her gaze off of the newcomer, the one with the cap on his head. She caught sight of Aden, remembering who he was, and looked away overcome by fear.

    Lecra felt his senses relax for a moment and looked a bit pale than his nature. Spanish classed briefly started, and the female Spanish teacher introduced a teenager by the name of Alec River. Lecra stood up and looked around giving a small but dazzling smile. The Spanish teacher asked why he was wearing a cap in the first place and a chain of student’s hands transported a small white paper, it was a legitimate excuse.

    Leila couldn’t keep her mind straight trying to conjugate the verbs, her eyes keeps wandering back to this ‘Alec River’ person. She felt as though she had known him from somewhere, but she couldn’t put her finger on it, like a memory that was out of reach.

    “Don’t get involved with Peter and his friends, especially that new one…†Diana said noticing the way that her friend was looking. “I’ve got a feeling that guy’s out of your league.â€

    “Thanks for the support…†Leila responded sarcastically. It was time to turn in the work and Leila noticed she had only scribbled down several of the answers, from the fifty words that were on the worksheet. She sighed and turned it in anyway and watched Alec’s hand extended forward, as if he had just thrown a paper airplane, and surprisingly Edward caught it without even looking at it.
    ‘What the…?’ maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.

    ‘Maybe it is…’ a voice responded before sending the young girl in a sort of haze.
  2. O R A N G E C is the heavenly option

    Mar 30, 2007
    between an erupting earth and an exploding sky
    It's pretty good, but at some points it feels like you're going too fast. Watch your grammar, you don't make too many mistakes, but just watch for them. Other than that, good start, can't want to read the rest.