We have to do a commercial about books in school so my friend and I are going to parody Billy Mays. I come to ask for any funny ideas/lines that you'd be willing to let me steal.
"Hi, Billy Mays here, and I'm here to show you the new incredible power of Cheesy Clean! Yes, that famous European cleaner that takes away the toughest stains, while leaving the fresh aroma of limburger cheese is now available in the US, with new features, such as dicing vegetables with it's acidic residue, and melting tires with it's new alternate aroma, vanilla peppers! It's only $34.95, but if you order within the next ten minutes, we'll throw in a second Cheesy Clean, but we'll also throw in a free airplane barf bag! Buy yours today!"
"We're back, by POPULAR DEMAND! Cheesy Clean was so popular, we imported another cousin of the Cheesy Clean family, URANIUM SOAP! This unique brand of cleanser will not only rid your hands of germs and bacteria, but it will also GIVE YOU A THIRD HAND! THIS IS INCREDIBLE! THIS WILL MAKE YOU SPROUT TUMORS! But wait, THERE'S MORE! If you combine this with the Cheesy Clean product, you end up making your own lithium powered CAR BATTERY! BUY NOW!" Better? EDIT: This is more fun! :D
You can't really do a Billy mays type ad for books, it's to general, you have to be alot more specific.
It's a book fair >: But you can also buy other things at the store like bagels, pens, and whatever else you can find.
In that case, let me try this again... "Hi, BILLY MAYS HERE AGAIN! After the huge success we've had with Cheesy Clean and all our other products, we're here to give you our new products: BOOKS! Yes, now you can own classics like THE LORD OF THE RINGS *tosses book aside* MOBEY **** *tosses another book aside* SARAH, PLAIN AND TALL *tosses more books aside* AND MANY MORE! We're selling these books at *insert bookfair name here* AND YOU CAN GET A PIECE OF THE ACTION! These books have all the power of action movies and cartoons, without any of the damaging side effects of textbooks and teachers! If you have the option of buying one, YOU'LL BE ELIGIBLE FOR THE OPTION OF BUYING TWO! Operators are standing by, so get off that seat, and get to the bookfair TODAY!"
It's funny, but that's almost exactly what my friend came up with during our brain-session at school.
Harry Potter series. "WHO DOESN'T WANT A WAND AND BROOMSTICK?" Make sure Billy Mays has a Hogwarts robe on. =3
"These books are BEST SELLARS in other countries, removing stains of BOREDOM, DROOL, and those frustrating looks of 'WHA?'
