Fast Food Madness: The Epic Return V2

Roxas felt and recognized the awkward tension between him and Namine, and he wished there was something he could say that would fix that. Most of his feelings had come across in his small performance, but he didn't think that was enough. He never had; a song couldn't exactly fix everything.

 

Namine looked down at her mug, soft blue eyes looking at that instead of looking at the boy next to her. "Why are you here, Roxas?" she asked quietly, breaking the silence. He had shown great disgust with her for no reason at the cemetery and he hadn't given her a chance to explain herself. She wondered why he was different now then before, though she suspected it was because he knew the truth about Chad.

 

"I was an idiot," Roxas confessed, staring down at his mug. He thought of all he had said and done recently, and how hurt Namine was by it; it was obvious every time he looked her in the eyes. It pained him to see it, but he knew it was the consequences for his actions that day. "I should've listened to you."

 

"You should have," Namine said in agreement, keeping her eyes on her beverage. After a second, she lifted it to her lips, taking a few sips to keep herself from speaking. It was more than that, though. He hadn't just walked away; he insulted her in every way possible and judged her in a way that was completely unfair.

 

Roxas closed his eyes as he exhaled, the truth very clear to him. "I know," he said. "And I'm sorry I didn't. It just... It looked..." He opened his eyes and sighed, gripping his mug more tightly. "Kairi called me the next day. She told me that he was your cousin." Roxas felt like an idiot now. He should've known better than to judge so quickly.

 

Namine nodded slightly, lowering the mug when she heard Roxas' last sentence. "I asked her if she could tell you, since you weren't taking any of my calls," she said, looking at the wall in front of her. She had desperately wanted Roxas to know the truth, and she was glad he knew now, but she didn't know what that meant for their future. His words that day wouldn't be easily forgotten.

 

Roxas found himself growing angry, but not with Namine. He was getting mad at the truth, and himself. "I know. But I never thought that Kairi would do such a thing to Sora, and so I thought that it was possible you could..." He stopped himself, realizing that he wasn't making things any better. Stop and think, he ordered himself. He paused and then picked it up again. "I can't pin this on you...or Kairi. It's my fault." The truth behind Roxas's words made him close his eyes. He knew he was right.

 

Namine shook her head, looking down at her lap when she heard Roxas suggest that she was capable of being unfaithful. "How could you even think that?" she asked softly, a bit of the emotion she was trying to hold back coming through in her voice. "Even after we got...reacquainted, you thought I had changed enough to leave you?" I thought he knew me better than that, she thought sadly, swallowing in an attempt to hold back her emotions of sadness and betrayal.

 

"I've changed," Roxas answered, his voice showing how disappointed he was in himself and the changes that occurred. "I told you that not too long ago. Some things happened, and they've affected me more than I would have liked. But I still know, despite all that, that it's my fault this happened." He exhaled softly, turning his gaze to the coffee table. "Every other problem has been."

 

"Not every problem," Namine said softly, blinking and then shutting her eyes at a memory. Naturally, she was thinking of how Jeff broke into her home after Roxas had stormed out. He had a hand in rescuing her that day, not initiating that problem. Everything else though...Yeah, he had created a lot of drama. As much as she wanted to deny that, she couldn't.

 

"Maybe not, but it doesn't mean I'm off the hook." Roxas kept his sight lowered, not wanting to look Namine in the eye yet. "When I saw you and your cousin, I felt betrayed. But because I didn't listen to you, I only brought more pain to myself...and to you." He finally lifted his sight to her, eyes serious. "...I'm sorry for what I did to you," he said softly, his apology finally coming out. "I hate hurting you, Namine. When I do, I only end up hurting myself, too."

 

Namine kept her eyes shut, hearing Roxas' apology enter her ears. What he said next, though, was what really brought up the emotions in her heart. She couldn't keep up a wall against him; her heart longed to let him in, and she had no choice anymore but to let those walls crumble. A tear ran down her cheek, but she immediately lifted a hand and wiped at it, not allowing it to get completely down her face.

 

Roxas paused for a small moment, but then he spoke, his voice soft as he said the words that hurt to pronounce. "...And even after this, if you still don't want to see me anymore, I understand. Some things don't deserve forgiveness." His memory jumped back to a few days ago, when he claimed that they couldn't avoid each other forever, but Namine clearly stated that they could. Roxas's actions had been out of anger and lack of trust. If Namine didn't want to deal with it anymore, he would leave without a word. After all he had done, he deserved to feel some pain as well. It would only be fair.

 

Namine opened her eyes, moisture lingering but no tears falling. She finally turned her head and looked Roxas in the eye, staying silent for a moment. His tone was one of pain, and she knew that the words were hard to speak. They were hard to listen to as well. Obviously he didn't want that to happen, but he was saying it because he realized that she had rights. He had said a lot of things just now, but now Namine felt as if she had something to say as well.

 

Roxas felt his expression break into one of pain and sadness the instant his eyes made contact with Namine's. His lips turned down into a frown, and his blue orbs softened from the sight. He turned his head away and looked down at the mug of hot chocolate still in his grasp. It was surely getting cold now, but he didn't really care anymore. It wouldn't help him much now; he was already cold, inside.

 

Namine's eyes softened when Roxas looked away, though she didn't make an effort to get him to look at her again. "Don't you remember what I told you before Christmas?" she asked softly, thinking of waking up in Roxas' arms after she ran out of oxygen because a certain somebody had his arm around her neck too tightly. She focused back on the situation at hand, answering her own question. "I said that I'd never give up on you, even if you lost your way."

 

Roxas blinked, fighting his emotions. He felt terrible and sad, but he didn't deserve to feel the sorrow. This was all his fault. "I remember," he said then. How could he forget? He had been crying at the time, and her words had only made him want to cry harder.

 

Namine shifted her gaze to her lap, soft blue eyes on her mug. "Well, I meant what I said," she said softly. "Not just then," she added, clarifying her former sentence. "I mean it for the present, too." Yes, Roxas had hurt her. Yes, he had attacked her with his words. But she knew that he wasn't usually like that. Everyone had mistakes, and even though this one had caused her a lot of grief, she couldn't hold a grudge forever.

 

"But I don't know what'll happen," Roxas told Namine, shaking his head slightly. He was referring to the future, and what his new, dark persona would do to him. "I don't want you to regret saying that." Or anything, he thought to himself. If he were to hurt her any worse...it might just break him.

 

"Hey," Namine said softly, giving Roxas a light nudge with her elbow. "It can't get much worse than what we've already been through, right?" Somehow, she was optimistic about giving Roxas another try. She had faith in him, even if he didn't have faith in himself.