Fast Food Madness: The Epic Return

Sora snorted softly, crossing his arms across his chest. "No," he said, eyebrows furrowed. "I wish it was something that I could put into words that easily, but it's not." Though the truth had somehow managed to escape him lately, he knew that one day he would find it again. What was bothering him most was he himself, and how his personality had changed since Castle Oblivion.

 

Riku nodded slightly in understanding. He exhaled softly as he stared off ahead of them. "Well, you know why I'm here," he said then. "When you're ready to speak your thoughts aloud, I'm all ears." He had always listened, even when he was an impatient fifteen-year-old. That was how strong his and Sora's friendship was--nothing could come between them for long. Not even darkness.

Roxas wasn't the only one this way. The person he held strong feelings for was as well. Namine. Things that bothered him revolved around her, too. Not just what involved the Organization using her, like they used him. But her relationship with Sora... It was strange, and he was beginning to second-guess a lot of things.

 

Sora nodded faintly and shut his eyes, a breath leaving him in tiredness. He wasn't only tired physically, but he was also mentally exhausted. But he couldn't stay in the state he was in now, or he would lose his sanity. That was how he felt as he tried to formulate a way to say his feelings to Riku. "You ever feel so frustrated with something you wanna scream?" he asked randomly, keeping his eyes shut and his head lowered. He didn't need to see Riku to know that he was listening.

 

"Heh, who doesn't?" Riku questioned right back, staring off. He didn't think one person existed that never did something along the lines. It was almost impossible not to feel that, especially with their lives.

Roxas was beginning to question his relationship with Namine, something that killed him inside alone. Did she love him because of his relation to Sora? Did she love Sora at one point in time? Did she still love him, if that was what she felt for him?

 

"...But at the same time, you feel like you can't show any emotion because it only gets in the way," Sora said, acting as if his last sentence was phrased as a statement. His anger had controlled him on the battlefield earlier, and though it had saved his life, he didn't like the idea that his emotions could influence him so much. He was actually afraid of that, very much so, because emotions clouded a person's senses and often put them in danger.

 

Riku furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "Emotions can control you," he declared. "They can block all sense of right and wrong, and you don't think. You just...do." He didn't even pay attention to the wind that brushed over him, thinking about how true those words could be.

Roxas's frown deepened at the thoughts. He'd lost his past for almost a full year, lost his best friend, and he was already losing the "old" Roxas--the one that left New York. Losing Namine was going to bring him down, hard. But in a way, he felt like he already had. And to his original self. Maybe he never really had her to begin with.

 

Sora nodded in agreement, opening his eyes partway as he gazed downward. "...That's what scares me," he confessed. It felt good to say what was troubling him so deeply, so he continued. "With Castle Oblivion, it was all about bringing up old memories and old emotions. No matter how hard I try now, I can't suppress them or get rid of them. It's awful to feel completely out of control like this."

 

Riku turned his head, looking over at his best friend. He opened his mouth a little to say something, but then closed it. His head turned forward again and he stared down at his lap, the wind blowing his bangs in his eyes slightly. Maybe he shouldn't mention what he was thinking, but it and Castle Oblivion were connected...by darkness.

 

Sora shut his eyes once more, slightly aware of the breeze that ran over his skin. He hardly noticed it, too wrapped up in his own thoughts and trying to keep his exhaustion at bay. It did feel good to say what he was feeling, and he was comforted that his best friend now knew what was bothering him, but that didn't take away the problem.

 

"What happened down there?" Riku asked, motioning with his head to the area below them, empty and eerie because it could be easily inhabited by many Heartless. Sora had been...furious. He knew that his emotions had taken control of him then by what the brunet just confessed, but he wasn't sure what those emotions exactly involved.

 

Sora furrowed his browns and lowered his hands to his sides, both of them being clenched into fists. Leon had asked him the same question earlier, and that time, he had refused to answer. It was still painful to think about, but this time Sora decided that he needed a response. "I was angry," he stated softly. "Mostly at what the Organization did to me. And Namine, too." He paused for a moment, having trouble saying the last thing that he had been angry about.

 

Riku nodded once. "That's understandable. They were a manipulative group," he said in agreement, continuing to listen carefully. Sora needed his attention, and he was willing to give it so his friend would be out of this stump.

 

Sora opened his eyes and looked over the empty battlefield, eyebrows still furrowed. "I was enraged at how they manipulated me," he said quietly. "...But I was even angrier that I allowed them to do it. How could I have fallen into their hand so easily?" He knew that it wasn't stupidity that led him to almost being their puppet, but ignorance. Often times he was ignorant of reality, and the Organization had taken advantage of that.

 

"You sensed danger, so you went after it to destroy it," Riku answered then. He turned his head to his best friend. "You were just following your instincts. That's nothing to be ashamed of." Pursuing the Organization was what they both had in common. Though they were on different sides of dark and light at the time, Sora and Riku had been in sync when it came to defeating enemies.

 

Sora shook his head slightly at the words. "But at what price?" he asked, finally turning his head to look at Riku. "I almost lost everything there. The only reason that I was okay after that was because of whatever you did while I was asleep and because of Namine." He exhaled a breath through his nose, blinking at the thought of Namine. Whenever he thought about her now, his emotions got a bit...complicated. But given time, he was sure he could get them back to normal, since he truly loved Kairi.

 

"You weren't destined to fall then," Riku answered honestly, looking Sora in the eye. "Manipulation and lies weren't strong enough to bring you down, and neither could your second experience there, Sora. You're stronger than that, and you know it." His voice was gentle and calm, understanding although he was being blunt. It was who he was; not even Castle Oblivion could change that about him.

 

Sora turned his head forward, gazing ahead once he finished listening to Riku's words. "I guess I am," he said, though his voice didn't show total certainty. This second visit was really dragging him down, but Riku obviously had faith that he would conquer whatever that place had thrown at him. That was enough to lift his spirits a little bit.

 

"Hey," Riku said, nudging Sora with his elbow lightly. "You were strong enough to take out hundreds of Heartless on your own, and that was after being unconscious for two days. Because of that, you shouldn't doubt yourself. You obviously have a lot of power within you, even if you're weaker than normal." Riku was actually kind of jealous. One positive thing that came from Castle Oblivion was the power Sora acquired. He beat Riku, something he used to not be able to do. If Riku had been that weak and vulnerable like Sora had been, he might not have made it out.

 

Sora glanced over at Riku briefly before he looked forward again. "That's only physical strength," he reminded his friend realistically. "Mental and emotional strength are totally different." He shook his head slightly, gazing upward at the sky. "Honestly, I'm not sure which of those is the most important." He may have had the physical strength to fight through a thousand Heartless, but his mental state was what had nearly destroyed him down there. And his emotions had saved him. It was strange, factoring everything together like that, but that was exactly how things were.

 

Riku arched an eyebrow slightly. "You know, that battle down there was like a recovery and test combined," he said, not sure if Sora had figured that out or not. "Leon wanted you to be able to pull yourself together quickly and not let events affect you so much when it came to moving on with a duty." He shook his head slightly as he spoke again. "It wasn't just a physical test, Sora. It was also one of mental strength."