Heavy, Non-Existent Heart

"but it wasn't her fault... i said something stupid....... and i felt like i could never look at her again..." Saix remembered the event.

 

She looked back at the picture. Then Sonata remembered something. "I know... she told me everything. She was a little mad that you had broke her promise to never leave her alone. But she was fine and got over it." Then Sonata recalled several memories with her and Raiu before. "Raiu talked about you all the time..."

 

Saix sighed. "i never forgot her.... she was on my mind every second of every day... i missed her greatly..."

 

Sonata decided to tell him about one of her memories with Raiu, a year ago, at night when they were spending the night her house. "Let me tell you something." She dug deep into her memory...

~

"Hey Raiu, tell me more about the Nobody you love."

"Saix... he promised to stay with me forever... then he said something incredibly stupid that should not have been said. He felt bad and said that he should leave. When he finally did, I was so mad that I had to get him out of my mind. But now, I realize I can't. He will always be a part of me. If he lives longer than I do, then a part of me will continue to live on inside of him."

"Raiu... if he comes back, what will you do?"

"I... I want to show him how much I care for him still."

~

"When she said that, she started to cry. Raiu also said that she would cry around you a lot. I guess her reunion with you didn't turn out so well."

 

Saix couldn't take it anymore. he started crying. "why did i have to leave...? why did i have to ask her to marry me...? WHY DID I HAVE TO BE SO STUPID!?" he held his head.

 

Sonata slowly put her arms around him by the shoulders. "The only thing she seemed to be upset about was you breaking your promise to stay with her. Why do you think she sacrificed herself? Because she still loved you." She leaned her head on his shoulder. Sonata knew how hard this was for him.

 

Saix hid his face in his hands. he still loved Raiu... but like he said, he can't keep dwelling in the past... he had to move forward... he would never forget Raiu... but his future was with Sonata. he looked up. he glanced down at Sonata. he was suddenly calmer now. he layed his head on Sonata's.

 

"I know that she would want you to be as happy as possible, not stay in the sorrow of what she chose to do." Sonata crawled closer to him and leaned her head on his chest. She didn't want him to be sad anymore.

 

Saix placed a hand on her head. "i'll.... try..." he tilted Sonata's chin up. he stared at her for a moment... then he kissed her.

 

Sonata's eyes became wide once he kissed her. She really didn't even know what to say or what to do. She just sat there, confused. There's no way he could love her... it was Raiu that he loved. Sonata slowly broke away from him and covered her mouth with both hands, her face flushed and red.

 

Saix blinked. he sighed. "sorry... i have no idea what came over me..." he shook his head, angry at himself for kissing her.

 

Sonata shook her head, her face still red. "It's fine... don't apologize." She got up to sit on her bed and curled up. But she got very cold all of a sudden. "It's very cold."

 

Raiu went through Saix's head. when he would sleep with her. Saix looked for a blanket.

 

Sonata didn't know why it got so cold all of a sudden. Butshe was shaking from the cold temperatures flowing from outside. But Sonata didn't like it felt... like something horrible was coming.

 

Saix gave up. he climbed into bed next to Sonata, and wrapped his arms around her.

 

Sonata became surprised as he wrapped his arms around her. She then remembered how Raiu told her that he would do this to her a lot. "You held her like this before didn't you?"

 

Saix was quiet for a moment. he sighed before he finally spoke. "yes..." he hid the tears that were running down his cheeks.

 

"She said that... she was always afraid of her nightmares." Unaware of what she was doing, Sonata slowly raised her arms and wrapped them around him. Feeling his tears, she wanted him to stop because now he had her. "She was always afraid, wasn't she?"

 

"yes..." Saix said again. he felt a pain in his chest.

 

"She was afraid that you would leave her alone, which what happened. But don't blame yourself... she wouldn't want you to do that. Raiu chose what she did herself for you to stay alive." Sonata just wanted him to stop crying over her life. She held him up to make him regain composure.