I have some problems that have reached breaking point.

Just as a warning, this is going to be annoyingly long. XD

So first of all, my mother is extremely overprotective. I'm not saying she won't let me go to some party or something like that, I mean this is practically insane. I'm fourteen, and I'm not even allowed to go into the garden without my mother being outside watching me, I am taken to and from school when it's a 20-minute bus journey (my mum actually tends to wake up later so I actually often get to school late and get in trouble for this), I never get to see my friends outside of school, period. I actually enjoy school because if I get to go from one class to the other without someone following me and fussing over all the possible ways I could get injured, and get to actually go someplace outside my own house ALONE, then I feel like I actually have some responsibility, and I love that. I know it's a weird thing to feel, but it really is the truth. I live in a quiet little town in Ireland, and, I know there can be kidnappers or murderers or whatever pretty much anywhere, but I've never met someone else who's parents have gone to such extreme measures to keep their child... safe? I've constantly had breakdowns throughout the course of my life about the lack of freedom, my house feels like a prison, and I've told her, almost begged her on numerous occasions to give me just a bit more freedom, let me take the bus to school with my friends or something, but she won't listen. I break school rules by keeping my phone on in class because my mother will ground me and say she can't trust me if I don't keep my phone switched on at all times, and I'm scared that if I don't keep it on, then things will remain like this until I turn eighteen and can finally move out. She has absolutely no reason not to trust me, I always answer my phone, and I've never even had a CHANCE to prove that I wouldn't be late coming home or something. Is there anything I can do? I've confronted her about this numerous times, but she just won't listen to me, so advising me to tell her how I feel won't do... The only time I ever get any freedom is when I'm with my dad.

And then there's another problem... my house is so low on space that me, my mother and my sister have always had to sleep in the same room. My sister hoards stuff. I've dislocated bones from tripping over stuff and landing awkwardly, and it's basically like one of those depressing houses you'd see on those TV documentaries. I live with my sister, my mother, my grandmother (who hit me when I was younger) and my grandfather. There simply isn't enough space for all of us to live here. I've tried to keep the house clean but I've found slugs and other things that seriously make me want to vomit, and my mum is the only one who is also interested in getting rid of piles of junk which nobody uses and trying to make this place living-friendly for anyone. We've hired a skip on numerous occasions, but everyone else in the house just simply takes the things out of the skip and puts them back in the house... We've also given stuff away for charities, but getting rid of all this stuff could take years, so we can't keep that up forever. For at least ten months now, I've been seriously considering moving in with my dad. My mother despises him, and if I moved in with him, she'd think of it as me "betraying" her. I feel like I'm abandoning her and my sister, and that makes me think I'm being selfish, but I really need some space. I've told my mum many times that I want to move in with him, and she starts to cry and asks me why I hate her. I always try to explain that it has nothing to do with her, but she still continues to cry. She tries to buy me over with gifts and new video games which I hate; she's already poor as it is (that's why she lives with her parents, and in turn I live with my grandparents) and it disgusts me how she thinks something like that will make me change my mind. I've never brought up living with my dad to him directly, as he's the type who'd go behind my back and get custody about it even if I told him not to, and I don't want law getting involved, it would only make the situation worse, but I'm getting extremely depressed here, it's like the internet and books is my only way out. Does someone have any advice about this problem? :\

This is the last thing, it's kind of minor compared to the other two, but... I'm Atheist, well, no... I believe in some minor Christian beliefs, but I don't believe the big ones that would define me as a Christian. I've told my mum about it, we had an argument, but she came to terms with it quickly. My dad, on the other hand, never would. Whenever I stay at his house, we pray every day, and go to church on Sundays, and the whole practice makes me feel uncomfortable, because I don't even believe it. If I told him about it, he'd be appalled, and he'd probably make me pray more, and make me read the Bible, and go to Church several times a week. I seriously don't want to pray all the time; I respect other's beliefs, but doing these things myself makes me feel really uncomfortable, and, well... if I tell him, the problems will probably increase.

I'm sorry, I know this is extremely long. But is there any way I could fix these?

 

No worries about the length.....vent to us all you need to :)

Even though you have already tried confronting your mother of the situation many times, it is always worth trying again. Maybe ask her why she is so overprotective of you. Hear her point of view before jumping to why you think you should have more freedom. Something could have possibly happened to her when she was younger and she wants to make sure it doesn't happen to you.

Be open and understanding with your mom. I know you said that it is useless to tell her how you feel, but just let her know that you are 14 and should be able to have some privileges. Tell her to give you curfews for when to be home on week days and weekends. Maybe see if she will let you ride the bus with your friends 2 days during the week and she can take you the other 3. You could even include her in some activities so she doesn't feel that she is losing control of you. Give reason to why you deserve it. I am sure you work hard, are responsible, and are good to your mother, so why not? Social development is a big part of growing up, so you should be able to hang out with friends. Also, if it is hurting you to the point you are breaking down, she must know this. Going through family therapy may be in order.
As for keeping your cell phone on during class, she needs to know that school is really important and it will reflect on your life majorly in the future. So getting in trouble over a cell phone isn't needed at this time of your life. If she still wants you to keep it on, talk to your teacher or to your guidance councilor about the situation and see if they will allow you to keep it on vibrate during class.
If your mom has a close friend, you could even try talking to her about how you feel. See if maybe she can convince your mom "hintingly" to give you a bit more freedom.


As for your home problem; you could try having a family sit down and talk about it. (but don't point fingers at particular people keeping the junk) Coming to an agreement about everyone keeping the house clean of junk would probably make the whole family feel better. The house would be more open and there would be more room for everyone. Setting up a chore list for everyone could be something you could do.
If your mom starts to cry when you bring up your dad, tell her that it is only a thought at the moment. It isn't official.

There could even be some connection between Problem 1 and Problem 2. Your mother may be overprotective for the reason that she doesn't want to lose you to your dad. So, she tries to keep you in her sight at all times.

Also, you have the right to believe what you want to. So if you feel uncomfortable praying all the time, you shouldn't be forced to. You could try telling your dad that praying all the time isn't going to change what you believe. It only makes you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to feel that way. Come to terms with him that you will pray with him, but going to church makes you feel a bit uneasy since it isn't your belief. Religion is your own choice, so he really can't make you change if you don't want to.


Hang in there! Things will get better over time :)

 

Your mom is overprotective because she is afraid to lose you. Something probably happened to her in the past that made her do this. She didn't want you to move in with your father because somehow she thinks that you will never see her again.

 

Implying it' s either her or your father, buying stuff to smother your complaints ... looks like she loves blackmailing. Maybe you should try to put your money where your mouth is ? Don' t keep barking if she obviously couldn' t care less, act, go take a walk as soon as she doesn' t watch the door and switch your phone off or something. You have to make her understand that you' re her kid, not her doll, and that if she won' t give you freedom you' ll just take it.

Ever watched The Truman Show ?