I love my friends <WHOOP WHOOP>

Ouch, sounds painful. But I need to keep up with my animal drama. It's worth it. Call the satellite company, I'll get some homemade painkillers.

 

Are you quite sure it is worth it, sir? They will replace your right ear with a meter-wide satellite dish. Not only will it make you much heavier, but you will also be partly deaf.

 

What part of animal drama didn't you hear? Hook me up! Have them install some cleverly-places mirrors so I can see the damn thing too.

 

Wait! IN 27-huh...wait...South Dokota buckled down-28 states, this is considered rape.

 

You will be more robot than R.O.B, sir.

...

What the hell. I'll get them on the line.

*calls*

 

But I'm agreeing to it, therefore it's completely legal and not an abomination of nature. Tummer, if you would be so kind, drill a hole into left ear drum.

Tell them I want the Platinum Package with all the channels. I don't want to get scammed out of my HBO.

 

um.. i'll pass.

*runs like hell*

 

They're here, but they say that it will be a very painful surgery that is "worse than hell".

I believe they have Tasers with them too.

 

Well I am quite fond of pain... and tasers. Tell them that if I yell out "ginta" in anger during the surgery at random times, it's normal.

 

Nightmarish hallucinations?

I shall.

 

*imagines*
There'll be banana-hamocks everywhere!

 

...
boobs.

 

That reminds me, add the Playboy Channel to my package.

 

I love the Girls Next Door, they inspire me!

 

Goddammit, we're being attacked by, out of all things, floating bananas.

 

They're Kawkistan's most powerful foes since the Czechs.

They're the very image of the modern, progressive woman. All girls should strive to be like them.

 

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

 

That is why the water bra exists, you just have to stay away from sharp corners.

 

I shall get the Kawkistani forces.

Oh wait, they're still stuck in Johangrad. Damn earthquake.

 

We're not having a good week. :/