I'm beginning to lose faith in humanity.

Ah, sorry. If she's not willing to drink and see what happens as a one-time experience deal then it would probably be a bad idea to party with them, indeed. She already has everything she needs to be open-minded towards Catherine anyway. Oh, and they wouldn' t be idiots for proposing something to her, they' d be idiots to not take no for an answer.

 

i myself have a tendency to look down on people who are constantly drinking and getting wasted so i think i know where you're coming from. i try not to get to judge others too much because i know there are things about me that i would appreciate others not to judge as well. i do think you're being overly judgmental but i do understand the concern you have for your friend. i had a friend who started hanging out with a different crowd and he became a total poser. our friendship became a little strained because i was always asking him stuff like "why do you talk like an idiot?", "why do you misspell words on purpose?", or "why do you wear your pants below your a$$?" and it caused our friendship to plummet because of the way i berated him about it. i found myself becoming annoyed with him and he started becoming uncomfortable around me. he eventually grew out of it (i guess it was just a phase or something), and we're good friends again, but those 2 years were very awkward and i wish i didn't judge him so much for acting that way. don't get me wrong, i still think he was acting like an idiot, but i don't think i should've been so "in your face" about it.

so i don't think you should stop being friends with this Catherine just because she does certain things you don't approve of, especially since you haven't actually witnessed this behavior yourself. i know it's hard to not judge, but make an extra effort to keep an open mind.

 

When I started high school I felt pretty much the same way about drugs and alcohol. I guess I feel like I know what you're talking about since I live on Long Island too and people in my town do that pretty much every weekend. My group of friends in particular are the ones whom are famous for being mischievous. But worse than I think most could imagine. I'm talking getting drunk off some loko's and stripping in the pool of one of my friend's backyard's while her parents were inside the house at night. I've left events like this early because although I casually drink/smoke/the like, I think harshly of those who display themselves like idiots and have disrespect for themselves and those around them.

In my opinion if you don't know the extent she's doing maybe you should ask her before you speculate. We often imagine the worst of things when we don't know what's going on exactly. Partying and drinking socially is no big deal. You just have to watch out for the people who drink to get drunk multiple times a week because they are trying to fill a void that we all know won't be filled by drinking.

Self destructive behavior is something I'm accustomed to seeing and it's not selfish or stuck-up that you are looking out for your friend. But maybe you can try opening up you mind a little on the matter. As long as she's not hurting you or pressuring you or actually hurting herself you can let it slide since she's been a good friend to you. If it's becoming a problem for you further than I'd talk to her about it. I understand your concern though.

 

Before I get started
"A drug, broadly speaking, is any substance that, when absorbed into the body of a living organism, alters normal bodily function."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug
Drug Definition
drug
1    [druhg] Show IPA noun, verb, drugged, drug·ging.
–noun
1.
Pharmacology . a chemical substance used in the treatment, cure, prevention, or diagnosis of disease or used to otherwise enhance physical or mental well-being.
2.
(in federal law)
a.
any substance recognized in the official pharmacopoeia or formulary of the nation.
b.
any substance intended for use in the diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease in humans or other animals.
c.
any article, other than food, intended to affect the structure or any function of the body of humans or other animals.
d.
any substance intended for use as a component of such a drug, but not a device or a part of a device.
3.
a habit-forming medicinal or illicit substance, especially a narcotic.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/drug

So YES, it IS a drug.

But on topic now...

Okay, well, personally, I think that, as opposed to what seems to be the general census here, you're doing the right thing by caring and not joining in. From what I know of you, you're someone who can have a fun time without being drunk or high or whatever. Also, I've had the same problem, but for me it didn't end too well. I hope it ends better for you. I had a few friends who would go out with a bottle of vodka and sit at the park at ten at night and drink the thing in a half hour. I found out and told someone who could do something. Now I see one friend a few times a year and the others, only at parties or special occasions mostly. This kind of thing changes the way you see someone, especially if you've grown up knowing them as someone completely different.

The way I see it, you're better than this person. Not in the sense that you are superior, but in the fact that you can say "No, I don't need this."

I'm terrible at advice and stuff, but I'm trying. =\

THIS is the main problem, right here. If you're friend does this too much, she WILL become addicted and develop a problem. People will say "Herp derp, not everyone get's addicted." These are the people you run over with a 16 wheeler. EVERYONE can be addicted to something, it's just varying degrees of addiction.

Unless you've spoken to her personally, this should only be taken as a possibility. People lie. All. The. Time.

If it turns out that she IS taking part, you should offer assistance in the form of just saying "I know about blah blah parties blah. (You know what I mean) This doesn't seem like you, and I just want to know if there's anything wrong." If she says no, then honestly, leave it at that, and if there is something wrong, she will either come to you later, or try to deal with it herself. If she says yes, listen to her. It sounds generic, but that is the most important thing you can do. Be there for her.


Personally, I always hate the advice I give, but yeah. Do with it what you will.

 

I know what you mean, now the people I hang out with most are a group of goody two shoes so they don't really go to late night parties and get drunk but my absolute best friend who I've known basically all my life does. It's not to an extreme though, she is the daughter of my Pastor at church so is Christian and I've always had a lot fo respect for her as she had similar views to me. For example, she always hated sex before marriage, she said it was wrong- that was until recently she got a boyfriend which then lead to them having sex. The thing that annoyed me was the fact that she was against it in the first place, she was the one who kept me strong when I thought I was the only one who still partially agreed with it (it's more the fact of being in love than being within marriage to me) but now I have lost a bit of respect for her and it saddens me. She also goes to loads of parties with her boyfriend and I don't really know if she gets drunk or not, she never tells me but all I can really do is accept her for who she is and live with it.

I'm not old enough to drink yet and when I can I won't get drunk every night, I don't want to rely on alcohol to have a good time but a lot of my friends do this and I really wish they didn't. It's not wrong to feel annoyed by what they do, it's human nature- you are allowed your own opinion, my advice is just be there for her if things turn belly up- you can be the one who has sense when she feels like she's done something horrible/just feelnig generally rubbish.

 

What I meant was that many people believe Alcohol leads to stronger drugs.

 

For some people it can, and that may end up being a problem.

 

Your culture has done some good and some bad for you. Feelings of isolation or an inability to relate to one's peers can produce a lot of responses. Seems your key take-aways have been a strong sense of self, and looking down on those who fit into a certain profile. Putting yourself above others because you refrain from certain habits is empowering, yes, but also embittering and, honestly, naive. Don't ever be too sure of who's above and below you, and remember there's people next to you as well, people with some strengths and some faults. We're all in this together, there's no sense demonizing anyone for a certain belief or habit.

If your friend is abusing substances to the point of damaging herself, that's an issue. But it's an issue you need to handle with respect and understanding. Further, until you know for a fact that she's damaging herself and/or behaving irresponsibly, it's not fair to lower your opinion of her. Don't think of it as black-and-white, because it really isn't; different people react differently to substances of any kind, and it is absolutely possible to be a cautious, responsible drinker, derive enjoyment and a healthy release from it, and continue to function in other situations. But you need to know more before you make assumptions.

Bottom line is, it's time for a talk. Ask, don't tell. If you have a concern, question, don't judge. Be nice and don't condescend. If you don't take it seriously, she'll shut down to you, whether she's being responsible or not. She's still your friend and she's not any less of a person for a change in habit; remember that, and I'm sure you'll soon be looking back on this as a little bump in the road.