My Viewpoints on Life. Am I too Naive?

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Fellangel, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. Fellangel Bichael May

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    So where I am, I currently graduated from high school and am now entering collage. At this point in my life, I start to see things my parents do. I'm not a child anymore.

    As a kid, I was told life is tough and is a place where the strongest hit the top. To be honest, I didn't like that. Here's what I mean: I don't see life as a competitive place, but a place where people experience things in life and enjoy it. People live to have fun right? Even told many times how foolish I thought this was, I believed in it. It wasn't 2 years into high school that I had to face reality. People didn't care about fun, but on where they would go next in their life. I myself was forced to take AP classes and practice for SAT tests.

    The truth is that I'm terrified and hate the atmosphere we live in. I don't want to compete with others. For example, I loved playing the piano. It was a great thing to learn, but my parents only let me learn it so I can perform them in front of others to be judged. Same as tennis. I played so I can win in tournaments. I quit them both. I hate competing. Why? Because someone has to lose in order for another to win. It leaves a guilt in my heart when I see someone lose at competitions or tournaments. It makes me not want to move on in life because I don't want to deprive those who worked their whole lives to obtain something just to see it taken by someone else. Hell, it even makes me not want to go to collage.

    I'll be honest, I'm a lazy slob who cuts corners to achieve what I want. I'm selfish. I used to have this competitive attitude where I wanted to be the number one in the shortest amount of effort as possble. After seeing what I did to even get there, I was shocked to see those who worked hard just break down. It left me more hurt than proud when I won in something. Even something so menial such as video games lave me somewhat guilty (unless the other people are asshats). I know what it feels to lose. It hurts, especially when you put so much time and effort into it to see it being snatched by someone you know that they don't put enough effort into.

    I wanna ask you this. Am I too naive on my thoughts in life? Should I grow up and face reality? Well besides that, I hope you guys know what I mean when I say this. I'm constantly fighting with my parents, being told to face reality while I cannot let go of my view on life. I want to know how you guys feel on my perspective on life. I'm torn between 2 parts of my life. One to face it; the other to keep believing on what I have done for the last 13 years.
     
  2. Llave Superless Moderator

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    I think we are told that life doesn't work that way, because people don't work that way. Our very existence has been a series of civilizations rising above, and crushed by the next. I don't think you should feel bad, you're rather wise in your mindset.

    A song comes to mind from John Rzeznik, "I'm Still Here." One of the verses goes as such:

    And how can the world want me to change,
    they're the ones that stay the same
    They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here


    You don't have to strike others down to be first, you can bring them along with you. You'll have to figure it out on your own, but don't sweat the small stuff. Things like playing Tennis can be fun, and as long as you do it with that in mind, I think that's all that matters.
     
  3. Misty gimme kiss

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    I think that you need to acknowledge that society is very competition-based. However, that doesn't mean you need to follow that. Your proposed "growing up" sounds more like just becoming another cog in the machine, doing what everyone else around you does, accepting the world and compromising yourself. Sadly that's growing up for a lot of people, but personally? I think it's bullshit. You'd be dooming yourself not only to the win / lose cycle you find so abhorrent, and be left with frustration because it's not who you are.

    I think you've answered your own question, really. From the way you talk, it seems impossible for you to happily function in a competitive atmosphere. No amount of forcing yourself will change that. You'll always be left frustrated. Idealism is a hard route to follow, but you have to fight for what you believe in. That's what solidifies it. There's a way to strike a balance, as Llave says, to find ways to function in society's natural competitive atmosphere without compromising your anti-competition outlook.

    I've dealt with the same struggle and still am confronted with the temptation to just give in, but I believe in what I believe in, I am who I am, and I shouldn't let society change that, no more than I should let them control what I wear or how I style my hair or anything.

    I find these lyrics pertinent:
    To me, that is how I would feel if I gave in. I do not plan to, and I urge you not to either.
     
  4. Patman Bof

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    I think you just described mankind. But here' s where you' re confused : our natural inclination to lazily cut corners is not necessarily a bad thing. It' s the reason we have cars, houses, electricity, medecine, hospitals, the list goes on and on. We learn how to get more efficient through competition, through failure. Life is the biggest game of all. A champion isn' t someone who won a lot, it' s someone who lost a lot, good luck exciting anyone if you give everyone a medal just for showing up.

    I too played tennis and didn' t like competition (though I didn' t hate it either). I was playing against myself and had my own rules, participating in tournaments just didn' t add any fun for me. However it was still all about winning or losing and playing by myself was no fun at all.

    The thing is, even animals can tell what' s fair game and what' s not. If a lil' wolf uses his fangs to hurt he should quickly notice the other wolf kids don' t want to play with him anymore. Same goes for us. Our societies are based on competition, that' s not about to change anytime soon, but it doesn' t mean it has to be all Game Of Thrones. It took us long enough, but we' ve finally realized that leaving no one behind (through social security nets for instance) is preferable, be it on an individual scale or on a societal scale. On one hand it makes people happier (i.e. more productive), and on the other hand just because you failed doesn' t mean you have nothing to contribute to society at all.

    In short, you shouldn' t mind competition that much. Just do your best to play fair and you won' t have anything to be ashamed of. If at some point you realize you didn' t play fair, well, hopefully you' ll learn from that mistake and won' t make it again.
     
  5. Styx That's me inside your head.

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    I used to be bad and perform poorly at everything I did (not even exaggerating here). Because of the need to prove to myself that I am not in fact the least talented rat in this whole pack of rodents I was competitive to a sick degree. This, however, practically changed overnight when I realized a very simple truth: nobody really cares. My friends didn't like me more when I was doing my best to improve my skills, quite the opposite at times. Unless you're truly among the best worldwide, no one will open their hearts, minds, wallets or legs more often just because you're working hard to be slightly better in tennis (and even if you are among the best, it's still supposedly lonely at the top).

    Mankind competes, but it's not as strong an evolutionary power as it was back in the days of our ancestors. You'd still better be fluent in more languages than the next applicant if you want that helpdesk job, and you'd still better be more of a goalgetter if you want to be a part of Barcelona's team. It's a kind of competition we benefit from. If my TV randomly exploded and I called a helpdesk, I'd want to be addressed in Dutch or at least fluent English. I'd rather have said TV reassembled by cold, unfriendly and downright conceited professionals than a mentally challenged but likeable Hodor type. You get the idea.

    In short, mankind is still competitive and fortunately so, but it doesn't resonate through our every fiber as your parents seem to believe. You can keep on enjoying your life, hopping 'round in daisy fields and basking in the morning sun. Just remember not to lose your edge in the things you chose to specialize in, or you might be left out. Or if that doesn't suit you, you can also broaden your array of skills to get picked.
     
  6. Technic☆Kitty Hmm

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    I want to say keep on believing and hold onto your current mentality, rather become one of the everyday prunes of society. Though, you will have to face "reality" in some aspects. It's not all going to be fun and games, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun along the way. You're not going to be noticed/known by everyone, but that doesn't mean you won't be loved. Not competing isn't going to hurt you, but it helps to give a little fight. Relaxing is fine, just make sure you get the job done first. It doesn't pay to slack off, literally.

    In the end the final choice is up to you. However, you will at some point have to face the cold hard "facts" of this crazy thing we call "reality". I think you'll be okay when you do though. Just stay strong and follow what you believe. Whether that's remaining in your current state of mind or turning to a more common point of view.
     
  7. Deathsight44 Kingdom Keeper

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    Y0u are a living, breathing pers0n. D0n't thr0w y0ur em0ti0ns int0 the mix, and if y0u want 0pini0ns, then ask the 0nes that are cl0se en0ugh t0 y0u t0 get their 0pini0ns, since they're cl0se f0r a reas0n. Life is g0ing t0 be what y0u make it th0ugh. If life has n0 r0bin h00d, then bec0me r0bin h00d. There isn't just 0ne way t0 live life th0ugh.

    Pers0nally, I think that life is c0mpetitive. H0w are y0u g0ing t0 kn0w what's s0 great ab0ut winning if y0u d0n't kn0w l0ss? Pe0ple need a balance 0f b0th gain and l0ss, happiness and sadness, l0ve and hate, 0r else they tend t0 get naive ab0ut things and l0se understanding f0r the 0ther side 0f things, at least in what I think are m0st situati0ns.

    But this is my p0int. 0ne way 0r an0ther, this is g0ing t0 be y0ur life. N0 0ne else is g0ing t0 live it f0r y0u unless y0u want with them, s0 as an 0bject 0f y0ur 0wn pers0nal bel0nging, it is up t0 y0u t0 decide what's d0ne with it. Y0ur th0ughts, y0ur feelings, y0ur heart, all 0f that is y0urs.

    My p0int is that y0u can ask pe0ple, sure. This g0es int0 s0mething that's a bit deeper th0ugh im0, t0 the p0int that instead 0f just asking 0thers, y0u sh0uld take a m0ment t0 y0urself and l00k at the w0rld and decide things f0r y0urself. As l0ng as it c0mes purely d0wn t0 y0u, the rest sh0uld fall int0 place.