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Discussion in 'Archives' started by Korosu, Jan 26, 2011.

  1. Korosu Kingdom Keeper

    Dec 27, 2009
    United Kingdom
    [The following is a opening to a story of boredom; I have yet to give it a name(goes for the characters so far aswell) and such and I might develop into a proper story with chapters and what not. What I have planned is like a kidnap(ee) falls in love with the kidnapper,stockholm syndrome. Anyway before and if I do develop it more I just want some peoples views on it; to be honest it's the first thing I've written in yonks without giving up after the few lines; out of boredom or not. I also got lazy in some places sorry :x Enjoy..maybe~]

    The girl could hear the tympanic rhythm of her chaser shoes as they beated hard against the ground closer and closer they were becoming. The girl’s chest felt heavy as you turned another corner into an attempt to lose the persistent man running after her; she hid the shadows of a dumpster in the dark alley panting for breath but keeping her eyes and ears alert of any other movement beside her own, she collapsed against the puke green painted dumpster combing her fingers through her (now matted and messy) mahogany colored hair in a way to calm herself her lips and legs trembled uncontrollably No don’t make a sound; he’ll find me she told herself while fighting the urge to burst into hysterics . The brown eyed girl thought to how she got into this mess; she remembered how she was walking home after meeting a few friends, how she could sense somebody watching her as she made her a cross the zebra crossings , traffic lights and pavements in order to just start her route home and then she remembered accidentally getting in the man’s way when she tried to move, he went the same way after about a minute of looking like a total idiot she said excuse me no response she repeated herself and when still no response came after that she looked up. Up into those cold, hard, emotionless eyes. He had started to speak to her; making her uncomfortable he said how he knew her name, where’d she been and where she lives…. when she tried to hurry away he began to follow then the chase began.

    The girl froze to the spot as she heard he chasers shoes only in a now calm walking pace she desperately tried not to make a sound. Run. One part of head argued Run, find somebody who could help. Get away from this physco! No! He’ll catch you! The other side shouted back; suddenly without thinking the mahogany haired shuffled her feet she gasped then covered her mouth; her heart felt as if it was punching her chest as the blue eyed man’s footsteps returned getting nearer and nearer; the girl closed her eyes and prayed for him to turn around but then felt eyes staring down at her; she slowly reopened her eyes to stare right back into those cold, emotionless blue eyes once more. Before she could try to scream the man had grabbed her and pushed her hard against the hard rubble of the alley way floor, the moment the girls delicate body hit the floor she gave a small pathetic yelp and her eyelids quickly shut; The blue eyed man stared down to the pretty girl lying on the floor, he looked around to see if anybody had seen him when he was convinced nobody had, he picked up the petit sized girl into his arms, covered her face with the his jacket then ran, till he reached his car, he put her in his backseat and drove toward the direction of his home…
  2. adamboy7 Traverse Town Homebody

    Apr 3, 2010
    New Jersey
    It seems interesting, I bet the rest will be interesting when its done :D (well, if you can finish it lol)