Oda's Songs

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics' started by Odamadillo, Dec 20, 2008.

  1. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    I am glad you like that one and I just wrote this one this very second I hope you like it.
    A weak man

    I started out alone
    Not knowing where I belong
    All I did was continue to moan
    Thinking I couldn't be strong
    I was pushed around
    I became the ginger nut four eyed freak
    And in time I found
    I was just plain weak

    My parents went away for the week end
    So my grandad was to collect me
    And for me that was a god send
    Because I hated how things could be
    The bullies then saw my grandad
    And he stood up to them more than I can
    I admired the courage he had
    But he said he was a weak man

    My glasses held me back from sport
    My brains pushed me into the fists
    I began to think it was time for my last resort
    The blade to slit my wrists
    The day I planned to make the slice
    Was a day it all went wrong
    I couldn't make myself pay the price
    I just wasn't that strong

    I planned for so long
    But I came to realize
    How could I be so wrong
    Death wasn't my prize
    Proudly I yelled MY HAIR IS RED
    MY EYES CAN'T SEE LIKE YOURS CAN
    BUT ONE THING NEEDS TO BE SAID
    I Am A WEAK MAN!

    I embraced my identity
    As the man who is weak alone
    I joined the true reality
    On the path I was shown
    If I was faced with a fight
    I'd walk away proudly
    And if they blocked my sight
    I'd say "Your too strong for me"

    So I hope you soon see
    You have been mistaken
    By things as they seem to be
    Your reality needs to be shaken
    You all should know
    Within our lifespan
    The only real hero
    Is a Weak Man
     
  2. Ienzo ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((>

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In your breadbin
    2,762
    Be strong
    This feeling is obviously very worrying for you, nice arrangement of everyone's names to make them rhyme! I don't have much critique to pose to you except keep it up and make sure to proof read.

    Weak man
    Very good once again, there are a few typos though which is all I can really say negatively. Lots of emotion, an interesting point about weakness.
     
  3. Railos Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2012
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ooo
    458
    591
    I only read the last one, sorry. :P Oda, the last one was really good, I see a few errors in grammar though, but that does not stop the emotion in the poem. I really like the point of it too.
     
  4. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    I just had to write this I hope you all know who is who.

    KHV I owe it all to you.

    I walked on my own for so long
    I felt so lonely, so out of place
    It is was like I can't be strong
    Almost like I wasn't part of the human race
    I went to so many places
    I found a place based around my childhood
    There I met so many new faces
    And for a while things were good

    But in time they all drifted away
    And I was alone once more
    But then one lonely day
    I found a new place to adore
    I joined up with my own name
    And no longer felt blue
    A place based on a great game
    KHV I owe it all to you

    I started out so shy
    Within crowds I didn't know
    I then found something I just had to try
    And then my confidence began to grow
    In time I made so many new friends
    Jaden, Joey, Fearless too
    And to me each of them were god sends
    And these words I say are forever true

    I came out of my shell
    And unveiled my own rhymes
    If it was liked I couldn't tell
    I was on edge even as the midnight bell chimes
    Then I saw my work was praised
    I didn't think that could be true
    My fears were slowly erased
    KHV I owe it all to you

    I made so many more friends in time
    There is Nights, Cloud<3, Tummer and Beau
    Lets not forget PaW, What?, Ienzo and NemesisPrime
    StardustXtreme, Mok, Myst Strfruit and Greater_Bloo
    Terra245, Itachilives, Noel and Zelda
    Arch, Jin, Below61 and Amaury
    Roxam, Fuzzy, Bushy, Midnight star
    DarkTraitor, Moshi, Wigglz and even HoT

    All mentioned above had an impact on me
    But I have more name to include
    Amethyst, Jayn, Cse2311 and Darkhorse D
    Hayato, HoL, Judge Sunrose and even the guy who I fued
    That guy being Nasirrich, but lets not forget Loxare, KBMJoe
    Maka, Reinzel, Vlad and Neku
    I want you all to know
    KHV I owe it all to you!
     
  5. Technic☆Kitty Hmm

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Indiana, USA
    1,299
    Nice piece Oda, the way you put everyone's names together like that is awesome. Spelling and grammar check are okay. Nice work ^^

    Though I'd like it if I could make my name Princess Bubblegum lol
     
  6. strfruit Gummi Ship Junkie

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere out there....
    329
    364
    Aw, Oda! I am very happy to have made an impact on you!
    This was just lovely! Great work! ^-^
     
  7. Railos Hollow Bastion Committee

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2012
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ooo
    458
    591
    Oda this one was great. :D I never realized how many friends you had though. I loved it, and I'm glad that you managed to break out and be a better person.
     
  8. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    I know my last few pieces of work were quite cheery but this just came to me right now.

    Justice decrees

    Look around and see the truth
    Open your eyes forget the clock
    We are trapped in a world of beasts
    There are monsters hiding under every rock
    But learn this simple reality
    Not all monsters have fangs or claws
    Because even us humans
    Have dark evil flaws

    Take a dagger and pierce a child's heart
    Take that gun and claim what isn't yours
    Use a stone and break some glass
    Or bust through the bank vault doors
    A murderous fiend you could be
    Or a bully who knocks people of their feet
    To justice we are all the same
    And Justice decrees, you I shall delete

    A vile biker stripping the poor girl bare
    A gang leader who shoots the crew he can not trust
    The man who takes money from where he works
    To the guy who buries his secrets in the desert's dust
    The honest man who accepts a gift to keep silent
    The sly thief who swipes what jewels catch her eye
    The manipulative witch to tricks with hollow words
    The child who speaks nothing but a lie

    It matters not how kind you can be
    If you look down on me because my hair is red
    If you cast a man away because he is gay
    If you try to push a girl into your bed
    Then be gone you vile beast
    I do not ever again want to see your face
    And now it is decided
    Justice decrees you I shall erase

    You stand there claiming to be loyal
    You deny that you chose to cheat
    I know the truth you vile fool
    You failed to be discrete
    You can be a woman scorned
    That I can forgive
    But if you take revenge
    I can not let you live

    So many hearts I have stoppe
    So much blood I have spilled
    Now I realize the fact that I
    Am a vile man who has killed
    I thought I was acting fairly
    A monster more vile then you could ever see
    Is the form I now bare for what's right
    But Justice decrees it wants rid of me.
     
  9. Hitokiri Shinigami Shinta The Demon Slayer

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Plains
    334
    Very good job as always Oda my friend.
     
  10. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    This is a dedication to a character that I adore because he is just great. Try and guess who he is.

    A genius mind

    Crime fills this world endlessly
    The culprits will be caught
    By his unique point of you
    Which can not be taught
    Unless it catches his eye
    He leaves it alone
    A few times before he help
    So now his reputation has grown

    Now a series of fatalities
    Fill the world of crime
    A cause is not yet known
    So it is his time
    In his first act murder is proven
    And the killer's location he did find
    Behold the endless glory
    That is his genius mind

    His greatest challenge lies ahead
    To find and stop a man who can kill
    Some don't think he can
    But he says that he will
    With ease he learns the killer's age
    Only for new clues to throw him off of the scent
    The time he takes in his deductions
    Is truly time well spent

    Time passes and few allies arise
    When a teamate dreads his theory
    After more deaths occur
    He believes he knows who thw killer may be
    But a second killer arises to confuse
    Yet his mind realizes the possibility
    A second killer has surfaced
    A genius mind like him will gain victory

    In time he shows his hand
    And draws even closer to the truth
    His suspect endlessly claims
    That he has no proof
    Detained the killers become fast
    But that is ruined when more lives end
    So he makes his prime suspect
    His brand new friend

    His efforts later revealed
    How the murders were done
    And it soon seemed that
    He had finally won
    But another killer appeared
    When he became victim number one
    So I grieve knowing that
    A genius mind is now gone.
     
  11. Indecypher Destiny Islands Resident

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2013
    Gender:
    Male
    58
    61
    I dunno, as I was thinking about anime when I read your post. And the title made me think of Light, especially with the first few lines. But reading it again made me feel it was L.
     
  12. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    I hope I did him justice but yet again I have a new lyric to post up.

    All that well

    You say we all have our problems
    We all have limits to be supassed
    We all have our stories to tell
    But our motivation sometimes doesn't last
    That now matters very little
    It is something to ignore
    The time to realize is here
    Open your eyes wider than before

    Your life could be going too slow
    Claiming others are going too fast
    You could be losing faith
    In the road you chose in the past
    You need to realize
    What is easy to tell
    The people here are not
    Coping all that well

    A tradition of our home
    Failed to rally the troops
    Everyone stayed hidden
    In the pointless member groups
    Granted some answered the call
    And for that I am grateful indeed
    But those who didn't
    These honest words you should heed

    This used to be a family
    One who wouldn't seperate
    You have cast aside a dream
    To face a horrid fate
    This home is slowly changing
    It is becoming a form of hell
    Forcing us to watch as our spirits
    Are not feeling all that well

    Most things around here are pointless
    There is no sense for the loyal
    How could you let this happen
    How could we let our home spoil
    Members suffer from the dislike of others
    Many not given a real chance
    We have all fallen to the
    Spirit killing hatred dance

    We claim to be accepting
    We willing help those feeling blue
    But how can we know
    What they are telling us is true
    Beside this question I still take it on faith
    I accept every words they tell
    Even with that acceptance
    We don't know each other all that well.
     
  13. Indecypher Destiny Islands Resident

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2013
    Gender:
    Male
    58
    61
    You did. And good job.
     
  14. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    I am glad my last few lyrics were liked. But here are a few new ones I wrote today I hope they are liked too.
    I know the third one is smaller than the other two but I wanted to use three different rhyme styles but keep a similar theme in all three.

    Apperance

    You look at her and smile
    Her face catches your eyes
    Her long brown hair and fasion style
    Makes her the focus of all the guys
    She just needs to call and the guys come running
    Any problems she has they will fix happily
    Always telling her she looks stunning
    That she is the perfect girl to be

    But she says "Stop with your obsessing
    I don't like all of you smothering me
    All this attention is distressing
    Can't you just leave me be?
    Don't just judge by what you see
    Snap out of your stupid trance
    Accept this piece of reality
    There is more to me than my appearance"

    She may be a goddess today
    Or at least that is what many think
    But she hasn't always looked this way
    And her confidence is something easy to sink
    In youth she wasn't so perfect
    She was the one they would pick on
    She was a girl many would reject
    The poor girl's happiness was almost gone

    "I may look good in the present
    But I didn't in the past
    In sadness many days were spent
    Now I am free at last
    But still the same judgement
    Why don't you just take a chance
    To look past what other girls resent
    Please look past my appearance"

    Can you make a promise
    To forget how she looks
    No longer dismiss
    She is more that a page is some books
    Put on a blindfold and just speak
    Don't let your eyes decieve
    Someone to know her is what she does seek
    But judge her on her appearance and she will leave

    "If you ask me out on a date
    Make sure your inentions are pure
    Being your goddess is not my fate
    To me there is so much more
    That meets your eye
    Ask me to dance
    And give getting to know me a try
    Don't dwell on my appearance"

    She is not the only one
    With the same story
    Her doubts still haven't gone
    But accept her in all her glory
    Let her be known for being quirky
    Not for being very fit
    Make the guys stop being so lurky
    Accept her for her quick wit

    "I used to be quite chubby
    So the bullies made me cry
    They said I was Mrs blubby
    I always had a tear in my eye
    But now I am quite admired
    Yet the judgements did not enhance
    Now I've grown tired
    Of being judged by my appearance"

    Hated

    There stands a lonely man
    Who wants to be liked by all be can
    He would put himself aside
    And his own problems he would hide
    Using his imagination to create
    Many stories people await

    He says "I am working on something new
    I hope you will enjoy too
    Will you be taking part?
    Because it will soon start
    Even in this joys doubts remain
    How many friends did I gain?
    No matter how long you waited
    Please don't say I'm hated"

    He has so much responsibility
    That he doesn't have much time free
    Life is keeping him busy beyond compare
    And because of that he has little energy to spare
    Exhausted before the day even began
    What a life for this poor man
    Still he tries to keep things alive
    In bed at 6:30am up at 8:45

    "I can't slow down too much left undone
    So sorry but I have to run
    I promise I will try
    But I may not be able to reply
    So if I don't I apologize
    And ignore the bags under my eyes
    As I before stated
    Don't let me be hated"

    He is rushing to an early grave
    He has almost no time to save
    Pushing himself too far
    His work has fallen below par
    Many friends has slipped through the cracks
    Or think he put a knife in their backs
    The poor guy is suffering alone
    But he refuses to complain or moan

    "I'll be fine so don't fret
    I am not beaten yet
    Just bear with me for now
    I can do it and I know how
    This is how things must be
    Don't like then you have nothing to do with me
    Don't you dare be agravated
    Since that is better than being hated"

    He is so young yet bears no youthful flare
    It is like he is running on think air
    Why has he been chosen for this task
    Giving him jobs that are way too much to ask
    His mind is failing his body is frial
    He is living through this horrible tale
    He is losing his own mind
    A tragic existance for the man so kind

    "Don't worry I can handle myself
    I won't put my life on the high shelf
    I can deal with all this work
    Any free time at all is a perk
    So don't dislike me
    Accept who I've come to be
    This is what I've been fated
    Don't let me be hated"

    Acceptance

    He is a complicated man
    Doing everything that he can
    To complete each part of his plan
    Working hard to get prepared
    Pushing further than he previously dared
    Despite him being scared

    "I may have people around me
    But I question this reality
    Since my head there is a possiblity
    Ther is a very likely chance
    That this friendship won't advance
    Since I don't have true acceptance"

    He questions what the motives are for him be there
    Is his place really there?
    Are these friend being fair?
    Is he a fall guy?
    Or the one they will make cry
    How can they hurt such a small fry

    "You have me in your group now
    But you using though know how
    And that is something I can't allow
    I won't be part of this dreaded dance
    Stay away from me in every circumstance
    Until you can give me true acceptance"

    It has claimed his attention this day
    That he could easily be thrown away
    His place in the group may not stay
    So he will make his final choice
    They will hear his voice
    When he stands up for himself and rejoice

    "I won't be a tool to discard
    And I know this will be hard
    I refuse to be treated like your ******
    It is the same in Germany London and France
    So I will go free lance
    Until someone gives me true acceptance"
     
  15. strfruit Gummi Ship Junkie

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2012
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    somewhere out there....
    329
    364
    These were just amazing, Oda!
    They flow so smoothly and fit so perfectly with what they are based around.
    It's a short story within a song. Just great!
    Wonderful wonderful wonderful work!
     
  16. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    The spirit has Awoken

    A long time has passed
    As the spirit chose to rest
    How long would the sleep last
    That could only be guessed
    At least that is how is used to be
    Before many words were spoken
    Now the time has come to me
    The spirit has Awoken
     
  17. Technic☆Kitty Hmm

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2010
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Indiana, USA
    1,299

    Mistake in line five of the poem. Should be, "At least that is how it used to be." I'm pretty lax when it comes to poetry. I don't point out a lot of grammatical errors but this was a case of an incorrect word. Other than that though, it looks nice. It's a wonderful, melodic, poem. Short and sweet. Nice job Oda ^^
     
  18. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    Oda's back in action so enjoy my new works! Please note that the first one was not based on any truthful events of any sort.

    Are you happy now?

    Life has always been a burden
    One I was forced to accept with a heavy heart
    With many factors joining up
    To tear my soul apart
    Your words cut me deep
    Your fists smashed my bones
    I refused to back down
    And you left me near the stones

    She was a lively girl who always smiled
    She never let life get her down
    Then the jerks made a bet
    That they could make her frown
    Three days they tortured that poor girl
    They failed again but attacked her the next day
    "Are you happy now?"
    They said as they walked away

    Three days passed and they were seen again
    Three evil guys who had no remorse
    They love to make people suffer
    Emotionaly or by force
    Many longed to escaped and rejoiced
    As their time near was growing short
    And on the last day they had the nerve
    To say to everyone "Thanks for being a good sport"

    They saw all their evil as a game
    They thought we would playing along
    For years we wish the trio were dead
    But now they act like they did no wrong
    More than ever we waited for a ring
    For the bell to sound
    "Are you happy now?"
    They asked the girl they once put on the ground

    Three years passed and one jerk died while oversea
    The duo remaining were the leader and weakest pawn
    Oh god can this really be?
    We are rid of one of that demon spawn
    Another year passed as another died
    The weakest ODed on some weird drug
    And I find myself thinking
    World is down one heartless thug

    Two more years passed as I walked the street
    My name was shouted by a mugger behind
    I was supposed to be robbed but I fought back
    And when I floored the guy what did I find
    I had beat the jerk from my past
    And his homless state was a great show
    I asked him "Are you happy now?"
    For me the answer was, oddly No

    Be disappointed

    You tell me I have to listen
    You tell me what I should be
    Treat me like I am your servant
    Never letting me roam free
    Acting like my life is
    Something for you to run
    So tell me please when will you
    Treat me like your son?

    I'm sorry Dad I am not the sportsman you wanted
    I'm sorry my bones are weak as sticks
    My muscles are not very strong
    I can't even lift more then eight simple bricks
    All there is to do is be disappointed
    Because your son can't power through
    All I can do is watch as you do the hard work
    I am sorry to be such a failure to you

    It is clear my future lies elsewhere
    So I will hunt it to find my place
    And after so many rejections
    My parents wear that same face
    Why did I fail so badly?
    Why has my luck always been bad
    And it pains me to realize
    My parents are raving mad

    Please Mother don't look away
    I am trying to made you proud
    I know you do love me
    But for the first time say it aloud
    I keep failing so I can understand
    And as all is said and done
    You always seem to be disappointed
    With your failure of a son

    I am so useless even the army said no
    Even when I voulinteer my work is subpar
    And the world seem to always deny me
    Any possible chance to drive a car
    When I try to cook everything burns
    When I try to clean it up I miss too much
    When I offer to help everyone says no
    And there is almost nothing I can ever touch

    Now I stand before a mirror
    Seeing a reflection I don't want to see
    I see failure enbodied
    Into the worthless me
    The only thing left for now
    For this failure to do
    Is to be disappointed
    As he also feels really blue

    Dad did you have to
    Be disappointed
    Mother please don't
    Be disappointed
    How can I let myself
    Be disappointed
    I bet my existence would even make the world
    Be Disappointed
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2015
  19. Styx That's me inside your head.

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2008
    319
    I like how these last two poems tell a tale with a message. They're like the parables of old in a modern new outfit. I especially dig the anti-climactic ending of "Are You Happy Now?". I ought to read the rest of your works sometime. Keep doing what you do!
     
  20. Odamadillo Twilight Town Denizen

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2008
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Here, there and everywhere.
    729
    285
    If I recall correctly it is ok to bump an old thread here as long as it imvolves an update so enjoy a new creation of mine.

    Granted this one isn't completely original since it is a parody of a song which I turned into a love song type of thing.
    I included the song inside a spoiler so you can follow the tune. And if a female singer sees this and decides to sing it I will be overjoyed.

    Why did he betray?
    The place he calls home?
    Does he deserve my love?
    Should I let him roam?
    The answers to these questions you want me to give.
    His whole life was the mission, for what does he live...

    To learn of his reasons,
    (That doesn't matter to me)
    To learn of his reasons,
    (Just let him live free)
    I never need to understand him, as his number one fan
    Because the reality is my heart belongs to that man.
    So I don't need to know his reason...

    Can you love a villain?
    A traitor to the crown?
    After being his pawn?
    Will I let him drag me down?
    Constantly sayin', His love's a lie.
    He used me as a tool he'd let die.

    To learn of his reasons,
    (That doesn't matter to me)
    To learn of his reasons,
    (Just let him live free)
    I never need to understand him, as his number one fan
    Because the reality is my heart belongs to that man.

    To learn of his reasons,
    (That doesn't matter to me)
    To learn of his reasons,
    (Just let him live free)
    I never need to understand him, as his number one fan
    Because the reality is my heart belongs to that man.

    You are trying to convince me to walk away,
    I've heard everything you have to say.
    And I have decided by his side I'll stay...

    To learn of his reasons,
    (That doesn't matter to me)
    To learn of his reasons,
    (Just let him live free)
    I never need to understand him, as his number one fan
    Because the reality is my heart belongs to that man.

    To learn of his reasons,
    (That doesn't matter to me)
    To learn of his reasons,
    (Just let him live free)
    I never need to understand him, as his number one fan
    Because the reality is my heart belongs to that man.
    So I don't need to know his reason...